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World Pop: 6. 7Billion... I'm after just 1.
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Nickname:
| TheCreator |
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Location:
| United Kingdom, Wales, Cardiff |
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Age:
| 43 |
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I am a:
| Man |
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Looking for a:
| Woman, aged 33 - 50 |
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Relationship seeking:
| Long Term Relationship |
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Eye color:
| Brown |
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Hair color:
| Black |
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Height:
| 6'0" (183cm) or above |
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Body Type:
| Athletic |
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My ethnicity is:
| Black / Non-African descent |
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Religion:
| Christian - LDS |
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Education:
| Graduate degree |
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Smoking behavior:
| Hate smoking |
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Drinking behavior:
| Drink Socially |
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Relationship Status:
| Single |
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Have children:
| Yes, not living at home |
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Want children:
| No |
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Languages:
| English |
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Occupation:
| Executive |
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When it comes to relocation:
| I would relocate anywhere in the world |
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Starsign:
| Pisces |
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Ideally I'd live in a:
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| In the city, Beach house |
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My fashion sense is:
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| Dress according to the occasion, Sporty, jogging shoes and trackies |
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My sense of humor is:
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| Witty - I have a razor-sharp tongue, Sarcastic - Dennis Miller is a cream puff compared to me |
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When I go to parties:
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| I'm in the background but enjoying myself |
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On a day off, I enjoy:
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| Something athletic or energetic, Curling up with a good book |
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I attend religious services:
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| Rarely |
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When it comes to work:
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| I should have a bed in my office |
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How would you describe yourself?:
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Public Health Warning?
Before attempting to read, I advise that you bring fresh water, a light snack and a soft comfy cushion... Cos dang, you're gonna be here for hours. So sit back, relax & chill; let me Stimulate, Seduce, Tease, Entrance, Arouse & Dazzle your feminine interest by taking you on a triptronic hedonistic roller coaster journey to your secret Happy Place - Don't worry with me batteries will not be necessary!
Everything written here most Men will deny it, Women will certainly doubt it, but I present my confessions to you... Naked, Raw, Vulnerable and Disturbingly real. I beg for your forgiveness in advance. You've been Warned!
Special Acknowledgment
Before I begin, I hope you're not one of these narcissistic serial cyberdating fanatics who's 'feasting the eyes' at that PC glass wall which separates you and all the unaccountable randomness of reality with a gallon of Ben&Jerry's choc-chip-cookie-dough in one hand and a Château Margaux 2005 in the other, confident that if you find that special guy there's actually no danger; cos you have no intentions of meeting him face-to-face!
A voyeurs hygienic method of instantaneous sexual gratification. NO cyberfootprint so you're free to be any body/age/species, with NO obligation to return calls/emails/texts, and NO remorse to prod/poke/provoke human emotions while embarking on a nihilistic journey through the darkness of cyberspace. Stealthing through this subculture anonymously you carpet bomb the growing army of potential suitors with cyberflirts, all of whom hungry to jockey & peacock for male pecking order.
IM/iCHAT are a NO NO... That's nearly as nerve racking as real-time talking! You're even way too scared to post your own photo or worse still, post a digital-reincarnation of yourself courtesy of Adobe Photoshop®; 'What you may have looked like if the EX had paid for the Rhytidectomy surgery or Mammoplasty Augmentation you've always wanted!' So concealed behind your beady little glare, you micro-dissect, hypersaturate & run statistical analysis on all sorts of info that we deluded foolish men post; yet keep your own moonlit enigma secret behind a byzantine system of passwords & encryptions. The expectations of a full blown eCreep-cyberwar is imminent, so dressed in my Black-Ops-Ninja-Gear & behind a wizardry of James Bond gadgetry, my titanium clad radar surveillance systems have now been escalated to DEFCON1 - let this 21st century 'game' of dating & seduction begin... And may the TheCreator have mercy upon your soul... And don't worry my Phazers have only been set to Stun.
Introduction
"WELCOME to my Apocalyptic Digital Paradigm Lobby of Inner Sanctum Mayhem which I refer to as... The Arena of Combat". Right off the bat here's my profile attempt in 'jockeying for male pecking order HAHA' which is more like a complete dog's dinner of cobbled together driveled ramblings...
... Clears throat, adjusts glasses, slicks back dreads, sighs, then ponders momentarily before reflecting his well-bred genteel quality characteristics:
* I don't belch, scratch or grope my crotch in public, plus I keep my nose, ear and other form of hair growth ever so neatly trimmed. Also I don't doze off to sleep when you're bumping your gums at lightning speed on the latest hot juicy gossip. I just politely nod my head when you're talking... I'll even nod my head when you're not talking... In fact I think it's easier if I just nod my head 24hrs a day 365days a year.
* I'm also a man who will draw you a nice refreshing hot bath... And no I won't just top it up with hot water after taken mine first. And you can forget about us taking a tub together... Have you seen how BIG I am... NO ladies I don't mean down there, I mean my overall physique! Oh also I'm kinda like your BRA?? So comfortable to get on with, I look reasonably good, but best of all... I'm so supportive.
* I do like 'intelligent' women or is it spelled 'intellegent' or possibly 'intilligent'! Jeez I hope you're not one of these ladies who takes their new SCARF back to the store because it was too TIGHT. If so then here's a quick I. Q. Test for you: Do Ten Millipedes equal One Centipede?
* Oh ladies if we've chatted a couple of times online and I've managed to BEG you into actually meeting me for a Protein Shake... Don't worry I won't freak you out by tearing off all your clothes; or telling you I love you; or asking to move in together; or even suggest getting married, jeez I'm not that desperate (yet)... So, I'll pull back on the relationship throttle and ease off gently the commitment button and wait at least the second date, after that you're ALL MINE! PS: Please make sure not to wear your 'Sunday Best' during the clothes tearing frenzy!!
* If I actually like something you said in your profile or if your picture really caught my eye, don't fret... I won't send you a message that starts with or solely consists of "Hey baby", or "Yo Sexy Mama", or "Damn Your Hot" or "Oh my Lord WOW". Yes I know it's the 21st century digital equivalent of honking your horn at a girl walking along the street, but c'mon already, I'm far more creative than that.
* Believe it or not but I ain't a one-night-stand type of guy; OR some bored cuckolded lady's extramarital dalliances; OR even being part of some sleazy sexual S&M crap, which involves you being lashed to the bedpost with your own fishnets while dressed in a motion capture suit so you can watch yourself in CGI; OR you shuffling pathetically around on your hands & knees with a leash in your mouth wearing a gimp mask, velvet blindfold and an all-in-one latex suit while playing Bad Doggy to Strict Master! I don't want to sound androgynous to the lady from London for tempting me with that kind offer, but honey I'm well aware of the difference between thigh-drenched-passion, molten-raw-sex & adrenaline-soaked-rohypnoled-perversion; and I have NO desire to exchange squidgy-bodily-fluids with you... Besides I'll probably end up frequenting the STD clinic!
* So if you're one of those ladies whose EX gave you a disarming shrug, remorseful almost-in-tears face, was covered in hickeys & nail marks, smelling kinda musky, begging forgiveness and blubbering some hyperventilated excuse after being caught with 24 strippers & your best friend...
"Awe b-a-b-e-s, you know what I'm like; I just couldn't help myself,"... Followed with Sweeping Gestures. Dramatic Exit. Acrimonious Divorce.
Well do not fear cos I'm most definitely and 100% unequivocally a One-Women-Man (Remember, only weak people cheat.)
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I am looking for:
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WLTM
If truth be told I DON'T CARE if you don't look like an untouchable porcelain goddess with supermodel legs to your neck accentuated with a fake-bake-spray-tanned body that screams sexuality & desire; OR even a Penthouse® babe with a butt so big that you could use it as a beer shelf; OR whether you're a Botox-Buxom-Barbie-Bombshell with impressive Boobs so enormous they resemble prize-winning Melons cosmetically augmented by an exclusive Harley Street surgeon. With regards to the 'Body Type' question, please don't select Athletic if you have more chins than a Chinese phone directory? Look I'm no Brad Pitt and far from being perfect... So as long as you've got Arms, Legs with a Head on your shoulders and preferably breathing then I'm cool & the gang with that. Oh a picture-less profile is like a red flag on a red stick, waved by a chorus of red-painted people all freakishly dancing around a red-hot fire while hypnotically chanting "... Yo Creator she's probably heinous, married, in a committed relationship or enjoys howling at a full moon, don't do it?", therefore please ensure to give me a wide turning circle and pass me by.
Close Encounter
During our encounter I'll endeavor to act guileless and with moxie, look aesthetically pleasing, hygienically micro-immaculate, congruent in character, stylishly impressive, zero sweat under the armpits, no cold sores spots or blemishes with ear & nostril hair fully trimmed, my waist the size of a baby's fist & teeth fastidiously flossed and so white that when I smile it goes DING. Then when we meet, we will either connect like magnets & lock onto each other inseparably, or repel each other totally & die fighting. Either way, it will be an interesting date!
Conclusion
Since I know that ultimately it's always the woman who chooses the man, all that's left for you to do is to simply select either option A or B:
A) You find me repulsive; physical, social, character, compatibility, race. I failed miserably to establish any invested interest, rapport or attraction. No way on earth would you be seen with this Psychotic-Social-Reject? Duh and there's me thinking that the grand old game of wooing a woman was supposed to be light-hearted adventure taken on with playful humor & an air of restless good spirit? Severe Rejection Hyper Sensitivity Syndrome - huh... NOT ME!
B) But if you're thinking to yourself,"... He's extremely funny, flattering & fearless with a sprinkle of charisma, normality & creativity. Neither an addict nor drunk and cares about his appearance. Nice guy but not a pushover, successful self-made-alpha-male who isn't lazy, a liar, thief or cheat. Nary a trace of emotional & psychological baggage. Family orientated with the same values as mine; so my kids, parents, girlfriends would definitely like him plus my EX will absolutely CRAP himself! I guess he could be my type & sounds like someone I would really enjoy making acquaintances with." Go ahead, Contact Me NOW!
TheCreator x
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Looking for ethnicity:
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| All ethnicities |
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