What’s going on with the sexes? Are women getting ballsier and guys kinda whimping out? Can you decode the mystery of the male-female dynamic these days?
Gender roles seem to be totally muddled. Most women have become super aggressive in their quest for both love and sex. On the other hand, men have gotten downright passive. Its become so out of whack that even defining the word ‘date’ is becoming quite a task… is it dinner, hooking up,, hanging out? Who gets the bill?
Its no wonder Maureen Dowd got so baffled with this behavior that she had to write a book titled “Are Men Necessary?�. Relax guys. Don’t work yourself up. She tells us the answer… YES! Phew!
Dowd says “Now more than ever, men and women are confused about their roles when it comes to dating and love.� And the result of this confusion is that each sex has polarized in surprising ways. There are those ‘emo’ (emotional) guys and those that have gone all retro and reclaimed their macho boots.
This conflicting behavior is not only manifesting in men. Women too are exhibiting some weird traits. Some women play the demure role in a bid to snag a man, while others go after the opposite sex with the full force of a heat-seeking missile.
Well, I’m not a relationship expert so I can’t offer any advice to help men and women deal with this kind of thing but I just like raising these sorts of questions. Can you decode the mystery of the male-female dynamic these days?
The only advice I can give, is that both sexes should remain true to themselves instead of playing different roles in order to land a dude or chick.
Tags: relationship roles, black women black men, black white dating
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Comment by needrealdeal on 19 October 2007:
I think we are all being true to ourselves in the ways we were brought up.
It has to to with different era’s and societies teachings.And what our parents teach us.
At one time it was me tarzan you jane we f$@! now!!
as man/woman the human brain developed to observe.
As time went on it wasn’t just the man voiceing needs as demands,Woman vioced needs in there slower more patient yet effective ways.That’s why it took so long.lol Besides.A woman would have probably gotten hit or beat up for talking out.So that issue had to be delt with as well.I could go on and on with that.But I won’t.lol
In my era as a youngin I always heard woman talking about wanting a man who is sensative.In some that was percieved to get in touch with there emotional and sensative side.I feel some took it a bit too far.BUT,whatever floats your boat.To each his own.right?
I feel man has also learned over the coarse of time that woman aren’t only good for cooking and making babies.They have a huge effect on the entire realm of things in this world we live in.Learning and respecting that role is key to a PARTNERSHIP.Communicating everything that needs to be addressed and coming to a happy medium is also key in a working partnership as EQUALS.
We all need to be willing and wanting to explore EVERYTHING within us.Finding the perfect partner to do that with is the trick.But as civilized, intelligent hard working people in todays society we can’t walk up to some girl/guy and sniff there crotch to see who the winner is.So we all have to be patient,methodic and in touch with ourselves enough to know what we want and go for it! Worked for me.:)NO
Comment by needrealdeal on 19 October 2007:
NO,I didn’t sniff her crotch…yet.lol
Comment by fala on 21 October 2007:
Are Men Necessary? Let me think . . .
Comment by cocokisses on 21 October 2007:
Oh Fala…I am sure we can think of a few good uses for them…LOL!
Comment by Mish on 22 October 2007:
hmm
Comment by fala on 22 October 2007:
LOL@Coco, ok maybe a few!
Comment by blkbeauty31 on 30 October 2007:
morning all! i agree that we women are getting more ballsier! i scare myself sometimes. i notice that the men seem to just stand against the cyber-wall and wait for chicks to talk to them. i just go thru the list and talk to who moves me. have a great day everyone.
me ; )
Comment by Nick Carter on 4 November 2007:
I don’t think the transformation is bizarre. It is a natural evolution of the human race. As we moved from a hunting and gathering society, through agriculture to the industrial revolution, the roles of men and women have continued to change. The attitudes have not always kept up.
That women (and children) were ever considered chattel of the menfolk is what seems bizarre. That notion continues in Neanderthal thought today, sometimes in women as well as in men. If you think, “She’s MY woman and she better do as I say,” head on back to the cave my brother!
Along with the change in economic roles has come a change in cultural ones. A woman should feel free to “flirt” with a man on line or off. And, if she is interested, ask a guy out. If a man feels threatened by that, well maybe your interest is misplaced.
Of course with that comes the sticky question of paying, especially on a first date or so. If I ask someone out, I think picking up the tab only makes sense. I mean if I have a dinner party at my house I certainly wouldn’t present my guests with a tab as they picked up their coats to go home.
For women, it’s a little trickier. As long as women make less than men the disparity would dictate that the fella would pay for dinner. However if you are a corporate lawyer and have a yen for starving artists, whether you are male or female, whipping out your plastic makes sense (or at least ask to go to a cute little diner you know rather than haute cuisine in a French Bistro).
I’m old fashioned and so that first date is on me, for sure. Once I’m in a relationship though, a little more equality between the sexes is certainly welcome.