‘It makes financial sense for men to divorce or leave their partners, a study has found.’
YEAH RIGHT!! I said. Well here’s what the study convinces all you holding on to your marriages in fear losing it all.
According to social researcher Cecile Bourreau-Dubois, men who stay married invariably end up poorer than those who leave their partners. Apparently, the effect of divorce on a man’s bank balance even outweighed the financial benefits of either partner getting a better job when they are leaving together.
However, the reverse was true for women.
According to Mark Stephens, a senior partner at law firm Finers Stephens Innocent, women invariably hang on to the children hence gaining custody in a divorce. This reduces their earning potential. On the other hand, the man’s wage will often increase ahead of inflation, with maintenance payments quickly falling behind.
“Over a very short period of time, maintenance is devalued by inflation,� Mr. Stephens told BBC News Online. “Most people don’t go back to get it redone.� So when it comes to savings, divorced men will save on school fees, family holidays and other expenses.
However this doesn’t stop men from complaining that they got screwed over during divorce settlements. When they get divorced, there is always the concern for buying a new house, and emotional pain of being separated from children. But once this stage is gone most men find that divorce is the best economic investment they ever made says Stephens.
Is it really the best economic investment? Ok, so it may be a sound investment as the study puts but does what about the whole implication of divorce on children? I think no amount of money covers the pain of being separated from your kids.
How about those men whose wives run away and leaving them single fathers? Is this survey misleading by making divorce some investment option with great financial benefits? Should people just give up on their marriages so they can make some lose savings in the long run?
Tags: divorce, money and divorce, black women white men
Popularity: 12% [?]
Comment by ethereal99 on 5 February 2008:
What??? Hey, This blog isn’t about race for once. About the blog now….I have no care for people who are so concerned about money to give up on marriage or even love. The question is: Should people give up on marriages to benefit financially ? If they are doing that in greater numbers, then: who cares, plenty of people do things that I don’t agree with. Just as long as it doesn’t affect me or my family, then it’s their right to do so. I have more important things to concentate on, like: should I go for the falafel or hummous for lunch today. lol
Comment by HereIamBaby on 5 February 2008:
Face it, marriages that don’t work…you both lose…unless one is an abuser of any sort.
Smiles,
Sharon
Comment by fala on 5 February 2008:
That’s why you got to soak him for every dime he’s got while you got him, girls. Don’t wait for him to divorce you or break up and move on to the next one. Stash that cash now and collect those rocks and other trinkets while you can!
Comment by mossimo on 5 February 2008:
Interesting Fala!! Sounds like a song. Remind me to never get married again!
Comment by vt33 on 6 February 2008:
I don’t know who this Cecile Dubois or Mark Stephens is. The majority of men I work with who were married and now divorce, seem to complain more, about what the wife is getting out of them for child support and spousal support.
Maybe I am just blind but it appears, they slip further in debt, than gain in wealth. Sure it’s cheaper to be single, living, food, gas…yadda yadda. Yet when you are making $80,000 a year and giving up $24-35K a year for 2-3children maybe more plus, the kids are calling to ask for this or that and you give it to them. How are you getting rich? You are loosing all the tax benefits of being head of house hold, most of the time there is a home involved so you are loosing the tax benefit on that too.
Sure you can gain the ground and work overtime and put a little more in the rabbit hole for a rainy day. Yet you loose at tax time, single people suffer at the hands of the IRS.
I’m Stumped
Comment by Nick Carter on 6 February 2008:
I was talking about this with a good friend yesterday. He is one of those rare cases who was awarded full custody of their daughter with visitation awarded to his ex. He has been awarded child support payments at 17% of her reported income.
Okay, let’s not even discuss the fact that her lack of acceptance of the situation continues to cost him (as well as all of us who pay taxes) thousands in spurious law suits. Or the fact that she hides her income (after all, men have been doing that for a long time). Or even the fact that she has yet to pay a dime in support after 5 years or so since the divorce decree (deadbeat knows no gender).
17%? Anyone who has a child knows that it costs way more than that to raise a child. That extra bedroom, the extra pork chop, those wee shoes, music lessons, gas to take her to school, and so on eats up a conservative estimate of what, 40% of your annual income?
Yes, it is a financial burden but no one forced you to have a baby or even to have sex in the first place. Who should be the one bearing the economic brunt, the child or the parent who made the decision, consciously or not, to have the child? Even if the custodial parent has a better lifestyle than the one who is making the payments, in the end it is the child who is better off. Leaving spousal support to another day, we all should consider the children first, let go of resentments and get off the dime.
Comment by write66 on 6 February 2008:
With respect fala, that perspective may give a lot of guys here pause before marrying again. If it’s bitterness or just a tongue-in-cheek response that got lost in the translation from emotion to words, I apologize.
I’m in the final stages of a divorce now because my wife didn’t want to have children and I do (among other things). I honestly don’t care if I make more money after the divorce is finalized — I care more about hopefully beginning a family. To me, that beats a six-figure income any day.
Blessings and prayers to the single moms and dads who’ve endured these painful processes and are struggling to make ends meet. (I’m a product of a single-family home.) Let’s all keep the faith and pray we find the love we need.
Take care and be blessed!
Comment by tigerlilies on 6 February 2008:
A step away from race, yay! Still wondering about the subject choices. Yes, talking about divorce is a good thing, but where is the inspiration for love in it?
But I must say, it is a step up from talking only about race…
*sigh*
Comment by mossimo on 7 February 2008:
Good points write66
Comment by Glock on 7 February 2008:
I can only speak from my perspective. Having been through it twice ( I guess I didn’t learn:)!) The divorces have been lucrative opportunities for my ex’s.
Having children with my ex wives, I can never recall spending per month, the amount of money that is taken out of my check. Both of my ex’s have very good paying jobs. I am not saying that the non custodial parent shouldn’t pay anything but being that it is called “support” should imply that part of that support is coming from the custodial parent as well.
But from my view and my experience, both of my ex’s are indeed better off financially than they were before. And as a previous blogger wrote, the custodial parent also gets to claim the tax deduction, something the non custodial parent doesn’t get even though they in fact supported them.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 10 February 2008:
The only people who win out of a divorce are the lawyers and the courts…
NO ONE should make money…it should be as easy to get out of a marriage as it is to get in one!
Devide it down the middle and go on!
Southern smiles and world peace,
Sharon
Comment by jade74 on 10 February 2008:
Very good comment Write66.
Comment by cocokisses on 11 February 2008:
Fala,I told my sister that for years…al of her 7 sisters did. She didn’t. Found out he was cheating, and had to fight for child support and alimony. She is left without nothing. Ladies, be smart…keep a nest egg for a rainy day. My sister did not work or have a career…I do. As a newlywed, I have my own. If it doesn’t work, I will be hurt, but I won’t lose a thing. My home will still be my hoome, and I will still have my own cash in the bank. All I am saying is protect yourself and your kids. That is it!!!!
Comment by fala on 16 February 2008:
Lighten up people. I was kidding!!!!!
Don’t y’all know me by now????
Comment by trufriend12 on 17 July 2008:
Does divorce make men richer? HELL NO!!!Don’t belive the hype. I’m a double divorcee, too, and all the comments made by the fellas are true. This last divorce not only cleaned me out and I had to start from scratch-again- but she also took my joy and self-respect. I’m better now, but I disagree with the statement that men are better after divorce. My ex has my child and my money, but the real gift she doesn’t have is me, a real men of integrity and worth. She’s the real loser because I AM a GOOD man.
Comment by ja61 on 20 July 2008:
Let me add to this, I was the major breadwinner and as a result of my divorce I have custody of the kids and have to pay my spouse. The court system is not set-up to handle situations (male or female) where one parent was “both” the primary caregiver and the primary breadwinnter. Its time the courts move forward to reflect the current state of marriages. Having custody of the kids allows your spouse to be the “fun” parent and with the laws the amount of child support you get is a “joke”.
But such is the price of freedom and at the end of the day its worth it emotionally if not financially.
Comment by coppertop on 2 September 2008:
I don’t think Johnny Carson or Paul McCartney would have agreed with the majority of Ria’s article.
I agree with tigerlilies
Comment by Jack on 12 September 2008:
Its very usfull blog.