Most batterers hit their victims below the neck … where the world can’t see the bruises of their victims. But the world saw Rihanna’s beaten face when Chris Brown (fellow Musician and boyfriend) assaulted her. Like most women, Rihanna is a victim of domestic violence. And like most victims of domestic violence, Rihanna is back together with her battering boyfriend Chris Brown and its rumored they are recording a song together. 
Kristen Rambler, an abuse victim pleads with Rihanna to ‘Get out now!’ She is afraid that Rihanna/Chris Brown relationship might turn out to be as deadly as her’s did. “When Kristen finally summoned the strength to break up with her boyfriend Keith, he came after her with a gun. He broke into her parents’ home and chased her down the street before catching up to her and putting the gun to her head… Seconds later Keith turned the gun on himself and blew his life away. ”
Kristen considers herself lucky to have survived (Read her full story on MSNBC). She tells Rihanna in the end, “… don’t let it come to this. I know Chris has apolo
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Comment by homesteader on 17 March 2009:
A true Man will not place a hand on a Woman in anger unless it is Self-Defense . Learn to take care of Yourself . Take out both Knees . If you ever watched a football game , many Huge Players are retired due to a simple knee injury . And it Hurts , so Badly that they will not turn on you as they hold their Knee in Pain .
Comment by homesteader on 17 March 2009:
Please Forgive Me ; I see these photos and this boy needs an Attitude Adjustment
Comment by homesteader on 17 March 2009:
Former President Franklin Delano Roosevelt , I think once said ” Walk Softly and Carry a Big Stick . “
Comment by CarolinaQT on 17 March 2009:
As a woman who has experienced domestic violence in the past, and I don’t consider myself a victim, I have been silent on the Rihanna/Chris Brown issue so far.
Here’s the thing, love (or what people think is love) is a powerful thing. That girl thinks she’s in love. That boy thinks he’s in love. There isn’t a thing anyone on the outside of that relationship can say or do to make them see that it’s an unhealthy relationship. She has to discover that on her own, and unfortunately getting choked out wasn’t enough to do it.
Rihanna is no longer a victim, so I’m going to save my sympathy for those women who CAN’T leave. You cease being a victim the moment you knowingly repeat the behavior that traps you in your circumstances all the while having other options.
I was a victim the first time he hit me. I had places to go, I just chose not to, because I thought I was in love. The next 4 years I stayed with him, well, I can’t claim to have been victimized, because I knew what was going to happen, and kept going back… because I thought I was in love.
When Rihanna gets tired of the drama and the pain, she’ll leave. When she realizes that love does not physically manifest itself via concussion, when she wants some help, some empathy, some sympathy, some advice, she’ll ASK for it and I’ll be happy to oblige.
Comment by party1 on 17 March 2009:
QT my buddy,I have always thought of you as a devoted mother that was just a hoot to be around . This history as sad as it is makes me just real proud of you to keep your children together and show a happy face despite it all.
Comment by Glock on 17 March 2009:
I agree with QT. People do have to make their own choice. Unfortunately, people often make the wrong choices when it comes to these abusive relationships. Chris Brown, in my opinion is a loser. Yes, despite how much money he has, he’s a loser. The “man” obviously has some behavioral problems dealing with people. If he treats his girlfriend likes this, one can only imagine what and how he treats others he may come in contact with.
Comment by VA_SongBird on 17 March 2009:
I know it sounds basic, but Love doesn’t hurt and love doesn’t hit. I think both of them have issues and need counseling while they are still young enough to change the course of their lives. They are equally responsible for this situation.
Comment by Amelianne on 18 March 2009:
I saw my baby sister going thru the same
“milestones” that Rihanna will unfortunately travel unless she gets that Help now…and not later when it’s too late.
My sister didn’t “see” the abuse for what it was… she also believed this was a part of true love….until the day her “man” started terrorizing her young sons…
Today..they are all safe..well..and happy
because he is out of their lives permanently. ( prison)
If somebody is all about abusing others..
…then the best spot for that person to be is in a jail cell…
Comment by NOPLAYER on 18 March 2009:
Here we go again!
I wont comment on Rihanna and Cris Brown because I really don’t know the whole story.
I will comment that people who are abusive are sick and in need of help but people that put up with being abused need MORE HELP !
Humans under normal conditions seek to avoid pain like animals avoid fire. We avoid things that hurt or cause us injury.
Self preservation is the first law of nature and when you find a person who goes against that, you’re dealing with a mentally ill person.
Some people tend to come down hard on women that stay with their abuser but just as you don’t hold the insane criminaly responsible, you can’t hold a batterd woman to the same standard as you would a woman in her right mind.
A woman that has accepted to stay with an abuser has lost touch with reality, she’s not in her right mind, and her ability to reason and make sound judgment is impaired.
Lets look at the abuser. He or she has also had a break with reality because under normal conditions you don’t hurt those you love, normally we wnat to shelter and protect those we love from pain or injury.
We risk our own well being to prevent harm from coming to those we love and if called upon, most would make the ultimate sacrifice and give their life for the shake of a loved one, that’s normal, that true love.
Something is seriously wrong when a person goes “left field” and harms or injures someone they claim they to love, so I look at it as a mental health issue.
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not defending a guy who’d beat up his wife for mouthing off at him, when the foreman on the job had been talking shit to him all day long, why didn’t he kick the foremans ass? That’s who pissed him off in the first place!
When you find a man that wont jump on another man for the same perceived disrespect but he’ll beat the hell out of his woman, then you’re dealing with a real PUNK.
You find men with anger issues but those who are trully mentally ill will attack anyone that triggers an attack response and not just those they deem weaker or defenseless.
Comment by homesteader on 18 March 2009:
When Life gives us Lemons , We make Lemonade . When Life becomes unbearable due to physical Abusers . We have a Telephone book full of 800 # to call for Help . 911 CALLS ARE VERY IMPORTANT , as if they see Numberous reports . Someone will Sure Enough Watched very very closely and picked up for Legal Action . Being Rich will not save you from Legal Action and Men Who Abuse women often / May Find a Husband in their Jail Cell Because of a Broad Knowledge in the Media , many Police officers on the scene of the crime . In their own Hearts may use a little more Force than Necessary to Subdue an Assaillant / who has no regard for the Rights of the Weaker Sex . I still Believe the First time May be a Mistake . Alas if it Happens Twice / That Baseball Bat to the knees May save your Life . A boy who touches a woman in anger , Should be Known to Many . Their are still Men out on the Street who will Dish out Attitude Adjustment . Due to a word ” Chivalry ” the Honor implied upon a Man to Protect the Rights of a Woman . punk is a word that carries more worth , than a boy who would do this kind of Damage to a Ladies Face . Some of you Men out there , when you see this Lowlife Bastard should feel free to see how tough he maybe when Face to Face with another who acts with Pride .
Comment by homesteader on 18 March 2009:
IT IS NOT POSSIBLE TO DO THIS TO ONE YOU LOVE
Comment by homesteader on 18 March 2009:
That boy who turned the Gun on himself , Saved the Taxpayers alot of Money and the Life of the one he Abused . I will never feel Pity for anyone who will willingly Abuse a Ladie .
Comment by Vivacious1 on 19 March 2009:
Wow NoPlayer - you hit the nail on the head. I’ve been trying to figure out why on EARTH any woman would put up with abuse. But what you wrote makes a hell of a lot of sense. But abuse is sometimes more than physical, it can be subtle, too, in the way things are said or the way a man treats you. I wish both of these young people luck. Brown may very well wind up in jail and if you read that affidavit, and you see what Rihanna initially told the cops he did to her - it’s heartbreaking. He beat her to within an inch of her life - so bad she needs plastic surgery to fix some of her injuries - they ones she’s hiding under makeup. And I guarantee he will beat her again. It’s sad, but we live in a free country and she can do whatever she wants - including stay. I just pray he doesn’t kill her.
Comment by homesteader on 19 March 2009:
Men ; Remembering a comment made in another Blog / as to the United States Attorney General , Stating that we have become a Nation of Cowards . I Look at this Picture again and can see if None of Us have the Power to Correct this Wrong Done to a Beautiful Ladie . He may be correct in What he says . At least One of us is a Coward for Abusing a Member of our weaker sex , And any that would freely Allow this to Happen . Truly Shows that ” Chivalry is indeed Dead ” when we are not able to Even Protect our own Women .
Comment by salsera77 on 19 March 2009:
They both need longterm separate serious counseling.
Rihanna needs to stop it with the co-dependent I can’t live without you, already….
….but then that’s why she needs couseling just as much as he does.
You are right, QT. Some people have to learn for themselves.
Comment by pepperlee on 19 March 2009:
I agree that opinions about the whole Chris Brown/Rhianna situation should not be leveled until all the facts reveal themselves. However there is no good reason to put your hands on someone in anger whether you’re a man or woman. . Woman can physically batter their mates too. Of course if you’re defending yourself that’s a different story.
I agree with one of the previous posts, Rhianna will leave this particular situation when she’s ready. No amount of prayers, messages of hope, or well wishes will change that. I just hope that this incident can be used to educate men and women about the dangers of physical abuse, preventatives, and recovery. The sad part is if these two were not celebrities this would be just another sad foot note in some newspaper if it would receive any media attention at all.
Comment by party1 on 19 March 2009:
For those watching the basketball tournament,Syracuse star Eric D. was guilty of punching and pullin hair and throwing girlfriend down the stairs and the alumni and coach conspired to overturn suspension for only 1 game .Morally no matter how good he is SYRACUSE is a bunch of LOSERS for supporting him and not the girlfriend.
Comment by homesteader on 20 March 2009:
And to think ; I was born there and smart enough to Leave before this Tragic Occurance
Comment by homesteader on 20 March 2009:
Thank you party1 , Go Bulls
Comment by homesteader on 20 March 2009:
Remember Dennis Rodman
Comment by VA_SongBird on 20 March 2009:
The Syracuse Team Coach should be fired. I was watching Oprah yesterday and she had a show on “Men who’ve abused their partners”. The main point, I received from the Show is nothing will change until the men in our community revolt against such activities. I really appreciate the real MEN on this blog who have stood against this type of activity. However, you must take it to another level by speaking up in your own communities or cirlce on influence when you witness such behavior.
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
VA_Songbird ; all I offer is knowledge as to a Means to an End . Women have the God given Right to Live without Fear of an Abusive boy . Counseling is meant for children / Who are still able to Learn .
Comment by party1 on 21 March 2009:
In response to Va..Being politically correct around here is wise yet bein honest can be admireable to.I could never counsel other men on treatment of women.Never could I think of hitting a woman nor do I condone another man doing it.But the fact remains for some reasons women do push mens buttons and as I write this I have no answers for human behaviors why men resort to swingin or why women push men to swingin.A guy who does it or did it could justify it in his mind and it still wouldnt be a good enough reason.Many of us have seen a woman take a poke,swat or a BLAST and the guy took it and turned the other cheek.QT above said “love is a powerful thing” and thats so true,,jealousy and betrayal are overwhelming to some.What I am tryin to say here is,,the real MEN on this blog u refer to need the help from coaches,teachers ,parents and the entire process must start early in life and be constant.Sisters and brothers(siblings) cant be scratchin and pullin hair etc,I wonder now if corporal punishment or NO SPANKING is the right way to go,,hmmmm so very hard to know.A church I drive past has a sign “A child raised in the church seldom ends up in court” .Counseling I dont necessarily agree is meant for children but I dont think I agree that all men who have ever had domestic issues cant be rehabilitated and positively will do it again.I repeat my opening line being polically correct
is great on a dating site but lets be honest there is areason or reasons we have this problem and just to say its terrible throw em in jail and losing sight of the next potential batterer is not solving the problem.
Comment by VA_SongBird on 21 March 2009:
Party1, I respect your opinion. I agree, let’s keep it real. I do agree with your point that training must take place at an early age for both boys and girls. Parents must set an example in their homes as to what is acceptable behavior. Also, I think it is wise once a man or woman began to observe violent tendencies in their partner, to bring it to him/his attention and let this individual know his/her behavior is coming across as threatening. Party1, you also touch upon another great point. Women are capable of violence. I had a friend whose wife was the physical bully in the relationship. She was a large woman and her husband was a petite man. In order for my friend to defend himself, he was forced to hit her. I’m definitely not suggesting, abuse is gender specific. But the statistics suggest the majority of incidences reported are crimes against women. Perhaps, the men are too embarasssed to admit that they have been physically abused due to the social stigma attached to this claim. Whatever, the case might be. I think it is very important for every individual know when they have reached their BREAKING POINT. You need to know in advance, how you plan to manage your anger before a person press your BUTTON. I can’t control you… but I definitely can control ME.
Comment by party1 on 21 March 2009:
A follow up point !!! 1 punch,slap etc. 1 time can do serious damage.Women are built different (brilliant observation Party1 lol) and even a strong woman isnt a match for a man most times.My own personal plan to manage anger is to walk away ,,being a REAL MAN doesnt always mean you have to get physical with anybody man or woman.Easier said than done,,like I said I am not the one to be giving advice on emotions and reactions.But I do know right from wrong!!!!!
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
I myself have taken hits to the Face , Stood with my hands to my side in a Public place . Being Disabled . I turned the other Cheek and took it again before I reminded her as to my Heart condition which she had aforementioned knowledge of . I turned and walked away as to Strike a Female is in my own mind Unheard of . HAD SHE JUMPED ME FROM BEHIND as I was leaving , I would surely have restrained her without Laying a hand on her body in Anger . A Real Man does not Strike a Women .
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
I CUT A PEAR SWITCH , from the tree at the Gate and only ” once ” applied it’s sting to the side of my female childrens’ Butt - with them wearing Bluejeans . Never after that Needing any training as to Respectability of Our children . Their Intelligence now far Exceeds mine . After they had gotten their Bachelors Degrees , They said to me ” Dad , you sure raised us Right . ” I will always be a Proud Father and Person . Amen
Comment by VA_SongBird on 21 March 2009:
Amen Homesteader. Thanks for the Kudos. Yes, I was raised in the country. I’m very familiar with switches (branches broken off of trees). Back then, this was referred to as discipline. Now, it is called child abuse. The only thing I can say when I look back on my upbringing is …. I straighten up my act, after only one “encounter”. My mother never had to too much trouble from me. I think depending on the personality of the child, the parent has the right to decide the appropriate type of discipline. But I do believe, discpline should never be done, while you are anger or you might cross the line of abuse. Again… we’re talking about managing our ANGER under every cirmcumstance. Whether that involves disciplining our children or resolving conflict with our partner, or colleague.
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
The Key Word here is ” Once ” , the knee trick will only Require the same word / Abuse Problem Solved . Everyone feels Pain . Call 911 and Walk away .
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
Re-look at that photo and tell me how MANY TIMES HE STRUCK HER
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
Sleep Well , child - Self-Defense is not Abuse
Comment by fergie.baby on 21 March 2009:
Not only is Chris Brown an abuser, he is a lousy cheating SOB. Why was he receiving a three page text from some 40-year old woman with whom he has been rumored to be sleeping with anyway? he has the nerve to become violent over Rihanna being upset about it?
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
TRUST
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
SAFELY
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
PROTECT
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
MONOGAMY
Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
love
Comment by vt33 on 22 March 2009:
Unfortunately young love is crazy. NO matter the age, women will endure so much to make a man happy.
Sad to say the old saying “you can do bad by yourself”, isn’t instilled in young women and kept in their minds until old age.
If Rihanna and Chris have made up it’s a very typical thing, no matter what the world is telling this girl, she’s not gonna listen. Thousands of women dye each year at the hands of a man all because “I still love him and he said he won’t do again he can change”.
Can’t change bad love, and you can’t change bad people, but you always have the ability to change yourslef. Rihanna needs to take a que for her own song, Take A Bow, it’s over now.
Later peeps!
Comment by malcolm on 22 March 2009:
They’re not back together and they did not record a song. Its sad when the main stream media is quoting blogs and tabloid magazines. the song “bad girl” was a demo they did for the movie “confession of a shopaholic” last fall. the pussy cat dolls recorded the song for the movie. what Chris did was wrong,but he’s 19 yrs old: he made his first mistake, and everyone is out to lynch has ass. what these kids need is guidance. they have their whole life ahead of them
Comment by Keiwei on 23 March 2009:
I personally do not believe that a woman should be able to beat up on a man and not expect to be hit back or at the very least, restrained.
What makes a woman think that she can swing on a man and then play the “weaker sex” card when he knocks her on her tail. No, if you want to fight a man like a man then be able to take a punch like a man. It’s ridiculous. Men hurt just like we do. Just because they appear to be bigger, have more muscle mass, be stronger, does not mean that they do not feel pain. It not only hurts them physically when the woman that they love hits them, but it hurts them emotionally too.
I’m a woman and I wouldn’t hit the man that I love, nor would I harm him physically to incite him to hurt me.
Now, that does not mean that if I do NOTHING to him that I will allow him to strike me. Don’t get it twisted. If he lays hands upon me without me laying hands upon him first…it’s on.
Do not see that as being hypocritical. I have simply said from the beginning that first lick deserves a lick back. Be it a man or woman who delivered. It should go both ways; don’t hit me and I won’t hit you. Let’s give each other that respect.
Comment by NOPLAYER on 23 March 2009:
VA-SongBird you have a point. Men should deal with the men within their sphere of influence, their friends, relatives, frat brothers and so on.
It’s something about not wanting to be an outcast amongst your peers or on the receiving end of a brotherly beatdown.
Men should enforce the standards of manhood amongst eachother or should the women do it for us?
Speaking for myself, I’m very protective of the women in my family and I’ve gotten involved in more than my fair share of altercations with the abusive husbands and boys friends of my female relatives.
I’ve come to the conclusion that when a women is in love with a man, it’s a waste of time to get involved.
If you’re not careful you could end up having to physicaly defend yourself from not only the abuser but the woman you’re trying protect.
I look back on all the fights and almost one shoot out and I think to myself, was I a fool for getting caught up in that drama, every last one of these women went back to their abuser, everyone!
They didn’t care that I could’ve gottten myself hurt or arrested. I don’t know how many times I’ve helped some of the women in my family move out only for them to move back in.
I hear alot of women tear down the male relatives of the abused woman for not helping her, yeah we have some cowards amongst us but most men wont stand for someone beating on they’re female relatives.
The brave ones who do get invloved risk alot trying to help and often times their risk is rewarded by her going back to her abuser.
I understand from first hand experience why people don’t want to get envolved with an abused woman and her drama.
My attitude now is, “don’t call me until you’ve been to the hospital and had your injuries documented and photographed and you’ve filed a complaint with the police and pressed charges”!
I’ll esscort you to the courthouse to file for a restraining order and I’ll help you move out, after that I’m done with it.
CarolinaQT was right, you’re only a victim the first time he hits you, anything after that is on you!
“First time shame on you, next time shame on me”, this statement relates to domestic violence as well as infidelity!
Ladies think about it!
Comment by party1 on 23 March 2009:
NO PLAYER!! Everybody in the whole world can believe what you just wrote,,but I dont believe it .When those sisters,daughters,etc come to you with big crocodile tears and say they need your help,,you will moan and then you will be lugging furniture up 2 flights of stairs AGAIN.lol
They can cry WOLF a dozen times but one time it ll be for real and you dont want it on your watch.Thats why you are thier favorite !!!!!!!!
Comment by steve.toy on 23 March 2009:
Kein Mann hat das Recht so mit einer Frau umzugehen. Auch wenn man jung ist und sehr emotional - das ist keine Entschuldigung.
Sicher ist es manchmal einfach die Ohnmacht etwas ändern zu können an einer Situation. Aber es gibt andere Wege um Agressionen ein Ventiel zu geben. Niemals nie darf es gegen einen Partner sein.
Comment by steve.toy on 23 March 2009:
Kein Mann hat das Recht so mit einer Frau umzugehen. Auch wenn man jung ist und sehr emotional - das ist keine Entschuldigung.
Sicher ist es manchmal einfach die Ohnmacht etwas ändern zu können an einer Situation. Aber es gibt andere Wege um Agressionen ein Ventiel zu geben. Niemals nie darf es gegen einen Partner sein.
No man has the right as a woman deal with it. Even if one is young and very emotional - that’s no excuse.
Certainly, it is sometimes simply the powerlessness to change anything in a situation. But there are other ways to make an aggression Ventiel factors. Never never can it against a partner.
Comment by homesteader on 23 March 2009:
Today , We have to opportunity to Learn a few German words , thank you my friend .
Comment by Justin_1974 on 24 March 2009:
“Like most women, Rihanna is a victim of domestic violence.”
This is a very dangerous and highly ignorant statement. A blaze comment with no basis in truth or any facts to back it up.
In my eyes it undermines the credibility of the author and the veracity of the article - thus rendering it redundant. Which is a shame as it tried to tackle a serious issue.
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
Two pictures indeed say thousands of Words
Comment by NOPLAYER on 24 March 2009:
party1 no one wants a serious injury or death to happen to a loved one when they had the power to stop it.
You have to take into consideration that, you as a person may have others that rely on you to provide for them, like a wife, children or some other loved one.
God forbid you end up seriously hurt or locked up for assult and battery, how will that effect your ability to take care of your children or wife?
You could miss time form work to recover from an injury or you may get fired because you were arrested and charged with a felony.
In the mean time, where is this woman you tried to help? She’s more than likely laid up with the same guy who kicked her ass in the first place.
A former co-worker lost a six figure a year income with a Dept of Defense Contractor because he was arrested after coming to his sisters rescue.
He was charged with assult/battery, he lost his GOV SECRET SECURITY CLEARENCE and as a result he lost his job.
His sister moved back in with the guy, so much for trying to do the right thing, huh?
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
That Handle to the Knee , one Should do for herself . Problem solved / Walk away . The SOB , MIGHT HAVE KILLED YOU THE NEXT TIME HE STRIKES YOU IN THE FACE REPEATEDLY - If a boy will do it once he will do it again without Proper Training as to the Pain he gave you . If it had been one of my Daughters , May God Bless his Crippled Butt . Cause , I will give her an old axe handle and they saw no physical Abuse growing up in Our Household . Get Real / Call 911 after they fall asleep
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
And if present at the time of the injustice happening , A father has the God Given Right to Protect the life of their sibling / Texas State Law says with Deadly Force if Necessary { No Billed ] - A steel Toe Boot will do the same Teaching . Sleep Well - Abuser of a Woman .
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
I Repeat / One who Loves Never Strikes a Lady in Anger , this childish act should Never have Happened Due to Parental Training in youth / As you will never teach an old Dog new tricks . LADIES LEARN TO PROTECT YOURSELVES / BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE .
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
We are gathered here today to lay to rest , this Mother / who was Beaten Repeatedly in Life by a boy she felt she could not Live Without . She was correct in Thinking that she Could not Live / Without being far away from the Pain he inflicted upon her .
Comment by Glock on 24 March 2009:
Hey I was 19 once, I didn’t hit anyone. For being his “first” mistake, he really went to town on her face! As far as “lynching his ass”, what if he was a “nobody” would you really say that? What if it was your daughter he beat the crap out of? I don’t think anyone is here to “lynch” him but rather hope he is held accountable for what he did. Regardless how old he is.
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
I was raised in an Abusive household , My Father hit my Mother very very often for many years . He also abused Me repeatedly , occasionally I desired it . When I had grown to become a teenager / he had hurt his Back badly at work and one time when he was going to jump me again . We that a heart to heart talk as I was through with being Abused . I graduated high school at 18 moved away and found a job washing dishes / when I left the house my Mother did also and Divorced him on Cruelty charges . She took my brother with her and he started Psychiatry sessions at the age of 12 . You feel like Coddling his ass / I lived throught it . Amen
Comment by homesteader on 24 March 2009:
P.S. I never did place a hand on my Father / as I LOVED HIM TILL THE DAY HE DIED . He also had a hard time in Life , but we never went to bed Hungry because of him working everyday to Provide for Us . May God Bless Him Amen .
Comment by Sciencegeek on 24 March 2009:
As people on the outside looking in; lets just pray for both parties involved. I agree that niether, man nor woman should lay their hands on their respective mate in anger. If your mate causes such anger or mistrust that you must hit them; then it is time to take a minute to yourself, process what made you that angry in the first place and then make a decision to talk it out or move on. An act of violence is just that, an act of violence. Men shouldn’t strike a woman and a woman should not put herself in a position that a man will feel that he has to defend himself. I personally will not sit there and let a woman strike me with her fist or come at me with a weapon of some sort either. This particular story above is still ongoing and the truth is yet to come out fully. I Do Not Agree with what Chris Brown did. Although, I am waiting to hear what happened to cause him to react the way he did. I do feel this in my heart of hearts. If he beat you like that before, the odds is he will likely do it again. Both, need to take a break from one another and seek guidance and counseling on life and career balances. This can be a huge impact on their personal and business endeavors.
Comment by party1 on 24 March 2009:
NoPLayer thank you sincerely for your thoughtful answer,,very commendable.They may not have shown the appreciation the way you wouldve liked but its my guess that if you needed them ,,if a situation arose and you called upon them theyd be there for you..At least that is my hope for you.In your words the reader can feel a commitment you have to family.That said ,,those girls and women that surround you they feel that.Also I personally have lived this movin em helpin em stuff as if I couldve signed my name to what you wrote.Having a calm demeanor and able to think it thru as u obviously have is a lesson I shall not soon forget!!!!!!
Comment by jadediamond on 25 March 2009:
Glock I agree, if he wasn’t a celebrity would it still be a lynching? I think not. It doesn’t matter how young he is, he’s a young abuser that will grow into an old abuser. No matter how much counseling he gets he’s not going to change unless he really wants to and because of his celebrity status people will excuse his behavior. Remember Ike and Tina!!! It didn’t stop until she got tired and left for good.
Keiwei, you think that one punch deserved a choking, busted lip, stitches, and plastic surgery…that’s the stupidest shit I’ve every heard. What kind of women would make such a fool ass statement about another women gettin the life beat out or her. He is a disrespectful “punk” texting another woman in front of her. What happened to “what goes on in the streets stays in the street.” Whereas I understand self defense, he took it to another level and deserves to be locked up. No matter who he is……and she will go back if she hasn’t already.
Comment by homesteader on 25 March 2009:
Glock ; If it were one of my Daughters , A True Man Steps up to the Plate - Batter up / You’re Out . Head injuries cause Permanent Brain Disorders and maybe Death . Lynching is your thought / Mine was a simple Knee injury , - TO BE DONE BY THE ONE WHO WAS ABUSED - . A battle no matter how small one is Takes an Offensive unit to win . A defensive unit shall see Conflict again and again . Many years , I saw what it did to my Mother , I was Powerless as a child . My Father beat me also , some I may have Provoked . But not All . Jadediamond ; If a boy were to do you this way - Just Once / Would you feel the same way you speak Now .
Comment by homesteader on 25 March 2009:
Ladies /One and all . If you Feel like waiting till the Second time he does this to you , before you see him sleeping and you take action . This is your Choice , it is your Life in Danger . An old saying : First time your fault / Second time My fault .
Comment by homesteader on 25 March 2009:
party1 : do you have any Daughters ?
Comment by homesteader on 25 March 2009:
what if someone were to do this to your Wife ?
Comment by homesteader on 25 March 2009:
sciencegeek : I ask the same questions of you ? Circumventing the truth is just a bunch of words that mean nothing in the Reality of todays World . We are able to talk all day and never answer the Question . Are our women worth Protecting . My mind does not see one insident / I see all Abused Women Equally in my Thoughts . It DIGUSTS ME to see one , alas there are many everyday who suffer this Treatment . Go ahead and take your stick to flush the Rabbit from the Bush / I would rather turn the Dog loose on them .
Comment by jadediamond on 25 March 2009:
homesteader, I’m not understanding your question - I am against a man abusing a woman and I will forever be against a man raising his hand to a woman for whatever reason. As I said in regards to self defense you can defend yourself but not to the extent of beating the hell out of a woman….you can defend yourself with throwing a punch.
I was responding to Keiwei’s statement above who feels Chris Brown should have hit her because she passed the first punch and that is the stupidest shit one woman could say about another woman being abused. I have two daughters and 2 daughter in-laws and I raised my sons to never hit a woman. I was raised in an abusive home…my father beat the hell out of my mother until the day he died.
In regards to the lynching, I don’t feel he’s being lynched…..but the gentleman above may feel that way because he’s a young black man..but regards to his race, creed, color or national orgin he should pay for what he did. He say’s that’s his first mistake…..NO WAY. He didn’t just start abusing her, 9 times out of 10 it’s been going on for awhile. And as I stated, young abusers if they don’t want help or feel they need help will become old abusers.
Comment by jadediamond on 25 March 2009:
Corrections “without throwing a punch”
Comment by party1 on 25 March 2009:
Homes. what I do have is 20yrs exp hearing employes say that black eyes and bruises were caused by doors opening.The exp. of moving furniture minimum 7 times in 90 degree sweltering heat so a woman could run from getting whooped again.The exp of seeing dedicated hardworking churchgoin women have to pay for door jams and windows they didnt break.Employees that were so redeyed from cryin all nite that it affected thier work.Mothers that have been thrown around by thier son like a rag doll.Judges that gave light sentences,families that bailed thier brother out of jail so that he could take his drunken,disrespectful fool self back to do it all over.
So yes I do get emotional when I see this firsthand and that is why I am appreciative of NOPLAYER being estute enough to remind me that 20 yrs of hardwork building a company could be lost quickly by not stayin calm and thinkin things thru.
Comment by Sciencegeek on 25 March 2009:
Homesteader what was the question? “What if that was my wife?” Is that the question? This posting was about Chris Brown and Rihanna and what our opinion was on their issue. You need to read my posting again. You are taking my statement out of context. If a man beat my wife, may God have mercy on his soul. If my wife gets angry at a man for texting another woman then I would be asking her some questions. As a stated above neither man nor woman should lay their hands on each other out of anger. Man hitting a woman. Woman hitting a man. You think I support what he did? You are sadly mistaken.
Comment by Afrodeli on 25 March 2009:
Rihanna is still very young, and does not see what kind of danger her self esteem and well being are in. Hopefully, she will learn that hapiness, even alone, is better than protective abuse. I view it as protective abuse, yes. Women look for safety, younger women as well, but they have less experience and make worse choices. Rihanna sees herself safe in the arms of her abuser, with the vindication of love. Yes, it’s twisted. I hope she grasps the truth before it is too late.
Comment by HotWomen on 26 March 2009:
I have been looking for a long time and found this post.
Comment by homesteader on 27 March 2009:
Thank Y’all , this was just much to my Personal thoughts
Comment by keiwei on 28 March 2009:
Okay for jadediamond: I was responding to this comment when I wrote my comment: Comment by homesteader on 21 March 2009:
I myself have taken hits to the Face , Stood with my hands to my side in a Public place . Being Disabled . I turned the other Cheek and took it again before I reminded her as to my Heart condition which she had aforementioned knowledge of . I turned and walked away as to Strike a Female is in my own mind Unheard of . HAD SHE JUMPED ME FROM BEHIND as I was leaving , I would surely have restrained her without Laying a hand on her body in Anger . A Real Man does not Strike a Women .
That’s what I was referring to and because this just happens to be a post about the Chris Brown/Rhianna incident I made reference to Rhianna.
I was not there and neither were you. NONE of us knows what REALLY happened. There are only rumors about what allegedly took place on that fateful night. Neither of the two parties actually involved have made comments. Chris Brown has only made an apology as to his part in the altercation.
I look at both sides of a coin, just because I did not start off my comment by bashing Chris or any other man doesn’t men that I’m pro-women getting their asses beat. You totally took what I said out of context and ran with it because of some history that you have with violence. I’ve never been in an abusive relationship. One because I don’t draw those type of men, two because I keep my hands to myself. HOWEVER…as I also stated in my comment…if a man did choose to put his hands on me then the fight is on and he’s out of my life. No second chances.
So, I just wanted to clarify which comment my comment was in reference to. I don’t think abuse should take place on either side on any level. But if push litterally comes to shove then defend yourself…be you male or female. Period.
Comment by Sciencegeek on 28 March 2009:
keiwei: read my two posts above. I got bashed myself for saying similiar things you just spoke of in your recent posts. Some individuals are quick to judge before they read the posting all the way through.
Comment by keiwei on 29 March 2009:
Thanks Science. Thanks for taking the time to acutally READ my comment and not jump to conclusions from just reading the first line.
Thanks for re-directing my attention to your posts as well. I see that we are on the same page. Neither of us are advocating violence on either end of the spectrum, yet we are getting beaten up (figurativley on this board). It’s that ironic?
I’m still trying to figure out which line I wrote this in: “Keiwei, you think that one punch deserved a choking, busted lip, stitches, and plastic surgery”. And when exactly did Rhianna get stitches and plastic surgery? I don’t mean to make light, well…maybe just a little, but not at the CB/Ri Ri incident, but at how a person can see one thing and blow it totally out of proportion. Stitches and plastic surgery…was that a TMZ I missed? And where in my comment did I say that she hit him, and therefore she deserved to be choked out and have her lip busted because of it? Let me go back and read my own post…just a minute.
HEY!!! I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING ABOUT CHRIS BROWN AND RHIANNA AT ALL!!! THAT CHICK GOT ME TWISTED!!!! Wow! She’s used my name in TWO (2) of her posts and I wasn’t even talking about CB & Rhianna. Ain’t that some you-know-what? See, that’s the stuff that rumors are made of. People with their own agendas, getting facts twisted to suit that agenda so that they can look superior or righteous. What I said is what I believe and others feel that way as well. What is wrong with what I believe? If you read it you would say, um, yeah that does makes sense…how about everyone just keep their hands to themselves. But NOOOOOOOOOO…some people have to take things out of context because of their own personal hang ups…and whomever is not on “their side” or believe what they believe must be wrong. That’s called facism. Don’t be that person.
Comment by Sciencegeek on 29 March 2009:
*smile..Keiwei put the claws back in. I know that subject matter like this can lead to numerous individuals who has different opinions about this posting. The key is to not let anyone get to you or upset you with their words. All of us is entitled to our opinion and we won’t always agree, but we at least need to try to respect each other’s opinion, because it is just that, our opinion. Not every person share that same respect. I value what you said and I basically said comments that were similiar. It’s just unfortunate that some people on here did not read the posts all the way through before they responded.
Comment by keiwei on 29 March 2009:
lol…You’re absolutely correct Science…can I call ya Sci? Thanks for reeling me in. I do tend to get a bit *excited* when I’m called out and cursed in vain. Cest la vie. Whaddaya gonna do? lol.
Thanks again Sci…have a great afternoon where ever you are.
Comment by Sciencegeek on 29 March 2009:
Keiwei-did you take “shorthand writing” in college? First I’m sciencegeek, then science and now sci? Dang whats next, a symbol like “*”? Who am I Prince? Lol. Sci is fine. I suppose. As long as I can call you Kiwi Fruit….uh, uh. Ha
It appears that some of us on this post need anger management classes ourselves. Lol
Comment by homesteader on 29 March 2009:
Such is life
Comment by jadediamond on 30 March 2009:
First Kewei, If you wasn’t referring to CHRIS BROWN AND RHIANNA, which is who this blog is all about than you got the whole thing twisted. Second, this statement and I quote you, “I donot see that as being hypocritical. I have simply said from the beginning that first lick deserves a lick back. Be it a man or woman who delivered. It should go both ways; don’t hit me and I won’t hit you. Let’s give each other that respect.” Those are your words and they wasn’t saying Rhianna deserved to get hit. If not, than I’m not too big to apologize. In reference to the busted lip, stitches, etc. that’s what she received in return. Third, I’m not a chick……I never referred to you as anything other than your screen name.
To the both of you, Sciencegeek included, I read both ALL THE WAY THROUGH…and rendered my OPINION.
Last, this blog isn’t about neither of us….so please don’t turn the table to bashing each other.
Comment by keiwei on 31 March 2009:
This is my last response on this board about this topic because now it’s just redundant.
Sci…lol@you…no, I didn’t take shorthand, lol…I just like taking the easy way out sometimes…lol. I like you’re sense of humor, funny guy. Hope this isn’t the last time that I hear from you, but this is my last time on this board…whew!
Okay…Jadediamond. You say you’re not a “chick”, but at least I didn’t call you the expletive that YOU called me, so yes, you did refer to me as something OTHER than my screen name…so it is in fact, already twisted. And yes, this board is about CB/Ri Ri, but I’m not the ONLY ONE on here that is NOT talking about that topic specifically…there again…twisted. Furthermore, I posted the comment that I was referring to directly. I didn’t even know that you existed. So no affront was meant to go towards YOU or anyone else….just as YOU have an opinion I have one as well. And I have just as much RIGHT TO EXPRESS MINE as you do yours. What makes you think that your opinion is the only one that counts?…the only one that matters?…and that any other opinion is wrong because it doesn’t fall in line with yours? These are all rhetorical questions, but you can answer them if you want; however, I’m not coming back on to read them, and I’ll delete anything that shows up in my email from you. I didn’t come on here for drama. It IS a board for EVERYONE to express their ideals/thoughts/again…opinions on a particular subject/topic, without being called out their name. NEVER ONCE did I curse at you. But YOU choose to take it there and use profanity with me. And you don’t want to be called a “chick” well I’m not calling you a “lady” either, and that’s MY opinion.
Adios!
Sci…take care of yourself…don’t let the bad things in. Peace.
Comment by keiwei on 31 March 2009:
Comment by Keiwei on 23 March 2009:
I personally do not believe that a woman should be able to beat up on a man and not expect to be hit back or at the very least, restrained.
What makes a woman think that she can swing on a man and then play the “weaker sex” card when he knocks her on her tail. No, if you want to fight a man like a man then be able to take a punch like a man. It’s ridiculous. Men hurt just like we do. Just because they appear to be bigger, have more muscle mass, be stronger, does not mean that they do not feel pain. It not only hurts them physically when the woman that they love hits them, but it hurts them emotionally too.
I’m a woman and I wouldn’t hit the man that I love, nor would I harm him physically to incite him to hurt me.
Now, that does not mean that if I do NOTHING to him that I will allow him to strike me. Don’t get it twisted. If he lays hands upon me without me laying hands upon him first…it’s on.
Do not see that as being hypocritical. I have simply said from the beginning that first lick deserves a lick back. Be it a man or woman who delivered. It should go both ways; don’t hit me and I won’t hit you. Let’s give each other that respect.
–I actually had to come back because something about what Jadediamond typed didn’t seem right about my quote. And it wasn’t, the last paragraph does not begin with the pronoun “I”. There again, my words have been twisted and taken out of context in order to fit other’s agenda. It begins with “do not” instructing the reader to understand that I am not advocating battery on either side, but I do adovate self-defense no matter the sex. And that last paragraph clearly refers back to the paragraph before it. Those who are not blinded by their own agenda, and who are open-minded will understand that.
And I’m out!
Comment by jadediamond on 31 March 2009:
Keiwei, obviously I have offended you and for that…I sincerely apologize.
You’re right, you have just as much right to voice your opinion as anyone else. I didn’t think my opinion was the only one that counted and I welcome any and all opposition…that’s what this forum is all about. Don’t allow anyone to silence your opinions….not only does it count but it might help somebody.
I wish you well.
Comment by fkoi on 1 April 2009:
This is a hot button topic for sure and an extremely complicated issue. What was Chris Brown (or fill in a name here) so angry about? I guarantee that it was nothing that Rihanna (or likewise fill in a name) did, said, thought or is. There are issues there that he may never know, much less me. I do know that even if both were volunteers, the ref would have stopped the fight long before she got the beating she did. However, his (or her) feelings of powerlessness and frustration over the situation CANNOT be allowed to extend to that degree of physicality, by the assailant or, if the assailant has no restraint, by society. If I beat a man down to that degree, even if “hit first”, I would face criminal charges of battery. Self-defense only extends to ending the threat, not to payback for the “dis”. Ending the threat of someone I outweigh and out muscle, in any case I can think of, does not require “throwing a punch” (as jadediamond expressed so eloquently).
And what of the “poundee”? Is there no fault there? Well pushing buttons does not equal a beating. Throwing a punch, even a well-placed one, does not earn/require repayment in kind. In preschool it calls for a time out. The same is true in “real life”. If someone strikes me I have the option of walking away. Does this make me not a “real man”. Not if you know what a real man is. I’m not suggesting anyone test my “realness” because I am not a saint. But if that someone is one I love, they are safe. Guaranteed. But they won’t see me again without an escort and/or a whole lot of therapy under their belt. Guaranteed.
To anyone who has been struck by a “loved” one I recommend leaving and not looking back. The odds that it won’t happen again and in fact escalate are too small to take the risk. If you feel that you “love” your assailant too much to “abandon” them, know that your feelings can’t be trusted. Your sense of self is a little too warped to rely on. You wouldn’t stick your hand in a fire repeatedly and claim good judgement. Why would you repeatedly stick your face in the path of an oncoming fist and claim to be capable of good decision-making. Take the advice of someone with better judgment. Someone sane, at least in this regard, at least about your situation.
Your assailant will almost always show remorse, swear it will never happen again and treat you sweetly afterward. That should not signal to you that they truly love you and that their brutal attack was an aberration. It should signal that they are aberrant and unable to be consistent in their behavior or control themselves. They are bent, warped and NOT TO BE TRUSTED. People tend not to change. Drinkers drink. Liars lie. Cheaters cheat. BEATERS BEAT!
I echo the sentiment of the EXPERT, Kristen Rambler, quoted above:
“GET OUT NOW!”
Comment by GlenStef on 6 June 2009:
Hi, Thank you! I would now go on this blog every day!
GlenStef
Comment by whurr on 7 June 2009:
The closest thing that I have experienced to abuse was mental abuse. Its hard for a male to admit that he was visciously abused by a woman.
The last straw was when she took my Breyers ice cream stockpile adn replaced it with that nasty Ice Milk…Pathmark brand.
I was an emotional wreck. She claimed I was gaining weight. 30 pounds in a week isn’t much. Made me look very ‘healthy’
She knew how to make me warped mentally. Unlike Rhianna, I packed my stuff up…grabbed my Breyers from the secret hiding place (I found it!) and left.
Any dude who ‘man’handles a woman needs to remember two words……………
LORENA BOBBITT
case closed
WHURR
Comment by Shotgun007 on 3 August 2009:
Another old ass topic, but I’m still gonna add my 2 cents.
P Diddy and other famous artists mentioned to pray for both of them, but Chris new exactly what he was doing that night, he was in control. My regret is that the judicial system didn’t hold him accountable, instead….gave him a slap on the wrist!
NOPlayer, thank you for your post.
What a TrainWreck of a judicial system we have.
Shotgun007
Comment by miri2008 on 8 August 2009:
People trapped in abusive situations are in a maize where they are having difficulty finding the way out. I’m amazed at the self righteous posturing of some who have clearly not experienced or been close to anyone who has experienced being tangled in an abuse relationship. May you never come to know just how much you do not comprehend.
Comment by bini on 28 September 2009:
he is so much mindless, and rihanna is so sedactive girl and it is better to start love with jt.
Comment by ange on 3 October 2009:
jag kan inte tro mig likzom dehär innan men nu ja aaså 911 kunde hjöpa digg om du visste att det skulle bli nogåt sånt
Comment by theTruth on 11 November 2009:
this is not the truth……he didnt beat her, he didnt put his hands on her.
ever.
*sighz* but you guys can believe what you want to believe
Comment by Bellara on 12 November 2009:
a real man walks away when things get ugly, a real woman doesnt let things get ugly. in the end, chris is a spineless creature who like kanye west, picked his target well. kanye should have interrupted 50cent & chris should have tried fighting tyson. what manner of man lays his hands on a woman especially putting her in such state because she questioned him about him being in touch with an ex lover. if u think she’s partially to be blamed? then am sorry to say that you are just as demented as he is. u seldomly hear ppl crediting others for something he/she accomplished, but once they do something bad?good riddance they gotta blame it on the booze, abusive step dad, bad neighborhood..what the hell happened to the good ole self accountability? responsibility for one’s action and so on….its sickening that red blooded human beings have the guts to say she will learn not to poke her nose in other ppl’s buisness in future and that she deserved it..looks like there are too many animals in human form these days. what goes around comes around….as we all know.