No matter how well-packaged our dolls come to us, Mr. Wonderful is guaranteed to have at least one bad habit, flaw or idiosyncrasy. But suggestions about him behaving badly translate to being b**ched at. And you know what happens to a man who feels nagged – he turns off his henpecked ears. So how can you give your man the minor makeover he needs?
If he is fashion challenged, forget about his favorite cotton T-shirt, or that you’ll always have to go shopping with him. What you can change is his bas hair or too much aftershave. All you got to do is say something like “I am really turned on by guys with long hair and goatees.� If he still wants to impress you, trust me, he will grow that goatee so as to turn into your dream guy.
If your man’s sin is ogling women, then you can never change the fact that he finds other women attractive. But what you can change is his staring at women and commenting about their body parts. The remedy to a pop-eyed dude is simple: Ogle other men in front of him and see how he deals. What an ogler needs is a good dose of his own medicine … over-medicate him!
Then we have the porn addicts. What you can’t change is the fact that looking at porn turns him on. But you could change the fact that he keeps it stashed somewhere in the house. Let him know that it’s not the fact that he gets off on porn that bothers you but the fact that porn is in the house (women just don’t want to be confronted with it.) Better still, tell him his porn habit kills your libido.
Some dudes just have horrible manners in general. Trying to change the fact that he was never taught proper etiquette and that you will have to play coach will be kidding your self. But there is still hope. You can change his belching in public, not introducing you properly to friends or his terrible table manners.
To build a mild mannered man, baby steps are the key – “Will you hold my coat while I slip it on?� Then move to simple seduction: “You are so sexy when you escort me through the door.� Never put him down in front of other people and when possible, use humor to clue him in.
You can also make him a deal. When Charles’ girlfriend realized that her nagging about his manners started blowing up into full-blown fights, she bribed him – “I will start wearing those sexy slit skirts – the ones you can make out my thong panty line – if you promise to be on your best behavior when we go out.� What can I say… bribes work for me … worked on Charles too.
If he is a slob, then you can’t change the fact that tidiness is not his priority and that you will have to police him – always. Women are usually happy when the house looks like a maid just blew through. Shedding bits and pieces of your clothes in the whole house definitely won’t jazz her. Try placing a basket strategically by the closet or bathroom to catch those dirty clothes or whatever.
If he is still tossing things down and you feel that house work is never going to be divided evenly, hire so help and see how quickly the bickering will go.
Let’s hope he is the kind of guy that picks up on hints.
Tags: man makeover, black dating site, black women white men
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Comment by gillian4u on 1 February 2008:
Hmmm… as much as I’d love to try a few of those tactics, my only one question is: What do you do with a man-child who exhibits temper tantrums and outright stubborn behavior while using crass and disparaging words? Can one really makeover a narcissistic sociopath? I guess some guys are a bit more challenging to work with than others and simply may require a major overhaul.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 2 February 2008:
Men are visual creatures…paint a great picture of what you want and what he will get and I find that it works for me! It won’t get them of the Super Bowl couch…but most of the time, it works!
Southern smiles andworl;d peace,
Sharon
Comment by Nick Carter on 2 February 2008:
It is true that you get more flies with honey than vinegar but you have to decide whether it is flies that you want.
Telling a woman that you love her in those slit skirts may get her to wear them more often but a guy who stares at women when he’s with you and comments to you, “Damn she has a fine behind!” is probably beyond your help.
Comment by kathugga on 2 February 2008:
Lol! I love this one! Every woman I have dated more than twice has decided I needed a make over! Hair (I like it short), some like the ’stache, some didn’t, no one (THANK GOD!) wanted me to grow a goatee! New clothes, which I will admit I do need from time to time–my usual time for a wardrobe upgrade is when the old ones start falling apart. Or they get stained by doing something to my current vehicle or whatever, lol! All but one of my ties are at least 10 years old. I will admit, fashion sense is NOT one of my strong suits.
Soooo, I suppose that I do appreciate it when women dress me like that. Plus they encourage me to keep buying new clothes–I get pretty lethargic with that. I hate clothes shopping. I can stand maybe an hour tops. I do keep my son fairly up to date for his wardrobe tho–Lol, i can’t help it, he keeps growing, 4t 4 months ago, 5t now, size 12 shoes 4 mo months ago, 13 1/2 now! I have no choice! thanks to the grammas tho, he gets new suits and dress shoes!
So, unless I’m atypical, guys do like it when women dress them up, unless they are mr GQ already, however secretly we are. And no matter how much we complain, inside, we are (ok, I know I am!) saying, “wow, I look pretty good in this!”. Just don’t try to make me shave or grow hair!
(OH! and about ogling women, I KNOW women look at men too, I work with enough of them who are honest about it, they just aren’t as obvious about it!)
Comment by tigerlilies on 2 February 2008:
Women can be just as bad. I hate cleaning up all the time, so I hope the guy I fall in love with doesn’t mind having to hire a maid!
I don’t expect perfection or to be perfect. Just knowing that the other person tries is important.
Comment by mossimo on 2 February 2008:
This should really start the battle of the sexes, lol!
Comment by fala on 2 February 2008:
Well of course, you have to train them as soon as you get them. It’s like bringing home a puppy. Break him of those bad habits right from the get-go and make sure he knows who the Pack Leader is!
Comment by mossimo on 3 February 2008:
Where is Ceasar Milan?? The Man Whisperer?
Comment by fala on 3 February 2008:
Sit, stay Mossimo!
Comment by HereIamBaby on 4 February 2008:
Who couldn’t use a make over…take him shopping
Smiles,
Sharon
Comment by cocokisses on 4 February 2008:
I love these replies. I just figure that most men should wear an “under construction” sign. When you are finished showing them what to wear and how to eat amongst other things, then you can consider it done. The only thing is that they are never quite rebuilt. Best for me to leave my guy as he is…he will pick up on the rest with some gentle nudging
Comment by fala on 4 February 2008:
Coco’s not watching the Dog Whisperer. You’ll never be the pack leader that way!
Comment by nfl24 on 7 February 2008:
Hmmmm…. this is the trap question. People fallin for the trap down and can’t get out.
Comment by nfl24 on 11 February 2008:
Trap I tell you trap.
Comment by Jeff on 17 February 2008:
Left to my own devises, I’m not the best dressed man on earth so when a women tries to get me to change a little in that regard, I welcome it. No problem whatsoever. Unless I’m getting herded toward Brooks Brothers or Armani or of that ilk too often, because it gets expensive.
But so long as it kept within reason…and then…there are the rewards of appreciation expressed later on:)
Comment by ethereal99 on 21 February 2008:
Like the song goes “Don’t Make me Over” my second blog where’s my points ???