The other day, we were discussing the division of labor when it comes to doing household chores. Trudy stated that she got up in the morning, made breakfast, got the kids organized for school, went to work, came home and put the washing on, prepared dinner, did some cleaning and then relaxed watching some TV before collapsing in bed and doing the same thing the next day. My friend Ben’s day was a little different. He got up, went downstairs and ate breakfast, went to work, stopped in at the local bar for one or two quick beers with some collegues, came home and ate dinner then relaxed in front of the TV before going to bed. It just so happens that this couple are married so it was clear who was doing all the chores in their house! I asked Ben how he thought he contributed to the house and he said simply “I’m the breadwinner” This answer started a lively debate between everyone on how our roles have changed in society.
“Where is the time to do household stuff? In the morning I am getting ready for work and in the evening I am at a bar drinking before I have to race home in time for dinner! Seriously Ria, where is time?� went Ben. Then he got interrupted by Eric, who said he often ran around picking up the dry cleaning or helped out bathing the kids and putting them to bed. He was even know to put a load of washing in the machine AND hang it out to dry!
“It’s only fair, after all, we both work and we are a team, if I can help out it means that my wife gets more free time….free time that she can spend with me” said Eric, grinning at his wife with that “You know what we are gonna do later” look on his face!
Now listening into this conversation, I could see that whilst Trudy did most of the chores in the house automatically, she did actually resent it and I seriously doubt Ben was getting half the action that Eric was 
Maybe men just don’t like to admit publicly that they do ‘womanly’ chores (as our chauvinists dub them), being the optimist that I am I hope that these days most men think like Eric. I know his wife really appreciates it when he cooks one of his famous Italian Sausage and Spaghetti dinners while she puts her feet up and relaxes. I think it makes them stronger and happier as a couple, each of them making home a nice place to be.
Poor Ben must have taken a lot of what was said to heart as I am sure he felt a little like a Neanderthal because the next week Trudy called me and said
“You are never going to believe this! Ben’s doing all the washing now and he’s even helping me get the kids organized in the mornings!”
So why this sudden change in Ben? Did he just feel guilty and wanted to look better in his wife’s eyes? Was he really totally oblivious to everything that was going on around him and thought the house was cleaned by the housecleaning fairy? Did the smile on Eric’s face make him realise he was missing out on a little something something?
Eric and his wife seemed to me, to be a lot happier and grounded as a couple and this seems to extend to the bedroom…so what do you think? Does having a partner who helps around the house really improve your sex life?
Tags: equality, working women, sex life
Popularity: 1% [?]
Comment by mossimo on 9 October 2007:
Taking this article to heart!! Thanks for posting.
Comment by cocokisses on 9 October 2007:
I guess I am lucky, my man works hard on his job, cooks, takes care of the yard and washes dishes. I in turn, take very good care of him
LOL!
Comment by laugh_sailor on 20 October 2007:
A long time ago, I noticed my crew was happier when fed well and looked after and that makes more laughs for this sailor - Besides, it’s a ton of fun turning out gourmet meals from a small galley and seeing everyone’s reactions.
Comment by homesteader on 12 March 2009:
Mutual
Comment by homesteader on 13 April 2009:
Ladies , let’s not get excited this time ; As I am only cooking for two this evening .
Comment by HoneyKissed6 on 16 May 2009:
I love the article. I believe less resentment equals better sex. Less stress and more relaxation for both equals better sex. The feeling of equality and knowing my man is my true partner that wants and will help in every way is sexy and I’ll definitely keep him happy and supplied with sex so that he can keep doing what he’s doing to keep me happy. Just trying to keep a positive cycle moving!
Comment by Wise Choice on 1 October 2009:
I agree with you, Ria; and with Honeykissed6 !
It is definitely worth the extra effort on the
part of any man, to get involved the day-to-day
maintenance and normal household responsibilities.
For any man to say he’s too busy to relate to the
common chores and dirty-work is (to me) a cop-out.
I think it comes down to true partnership. There
might have been a time when it made sense for the
female to do most of the interior-type household
duties. It some instances perhaps it is still a
realistic approach to dividing responsibilities
between two people in a monogamous relationship.
But with women assuming a larger external share
of involvement in today’s economy at least in
the U.S., …it just seems reasonable that both
partners share in whatever way they are able, in
order to make the relationship as fair, fun and
compatible possible, through mutual participation.
Granted, due to social indoctrination, men have
often been conditioned to believe it’s not their
roll or responsibility to maintain daily routines
…dusting curtains, vacuuming, laundering and at
least cooperating in KP duties …and sometimes
find these normal household functions distasteful.
Yet we all know that “somebody has to do it”.
The basic household chores including cooking, sewing, ironing and other similar things are
all part of normal life-style management and
are in no way gender-related; even though we
are culturally conditioned to think otherwise.
–and perhaps men are not the best at doing it.
But to show his mate a genuine participatory
interest in her as a person worthy of equal
respect, … gosh;…what would it hurt, to
swing a dust-mop across the kitchen floor?!!
If a man busts a little sweat around the house..
..the come-back in the bedroom may be worth more
currency than he man might suppose!! It can be enjoyable; taking time with a life-partner in the
kitchen and so on. –And who knows??!! Once chores
are all done and lights are dim,… perhaps she
will enjoy making her man REALLY bust a sweat!!!
I agree with laugh_sailor !!
It’s actually worth the effort!!
I think any guy who does it regularly would agree!
—But;..that’s my personal take on the issue.
All men may not be willing. Some are perhaps too
insecure and not as open or emotionally available.
Would you agree?
.