Is matrimony the golden ticket to a lifetime of great sex, meaningful conversations and a lifetime of blissful love? Most single people rush into it with the notion that this is how it’s going to be. But those who are mired in marriage know that once the hormone-induced endorphine wears off, marriage is pretty much your same old boring life. Only now, there’s another person to crowd you and take your space on the couch.
Someone once said, “You know you’re really married when you quit holding your farts and burps in.� Audible gas or not, most people agree that marriage is more challenging than dating.
When dating, everyone usually paints a picture of how marriage life will be… your spouse running about the house in lingerie, your man bringing you breakfast in bed…, your well mannered imaginary kids, family days out. And you definitely can’t forget the usual sending kids off to a friend’s place just to have quality time. I know the picture I have in mind… totally superficial.
Having seen my parents around each other, it’s like suddenly, they are brother and sister. It’s even hard to fathom that there was once all cuddly. Ever gone home and tried so hard to hear if your parents still have sex? Well someone told me that once you get married, the chemistry suddenly vanishes and all that is left is just care… no love.
Some woman said “whenever I talk about the truths of marriage, the married women in the audience all nod their heads and smile, but the singles tend to think I’m some jaded middle-aged woman who didn’t do it right�. During the courtship, everything your spouse says is funny… work woes and kooky relatives are all part of the fascination. But do you think those stories remain fascinating after 3 years of hearing same ol’ shit? So what if someone was to track us down 10 years from now? Will we single people be thinking the same?
Well apparently that’s marriage for you. The exciting things always fade, but the kinda boring stuff you don’t give much thought to, turn out to be really important. So what changes?
Tags: black white dating, black women black men, marriage
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Comment by Got the T-shirt on 29 May 2007:
Well said laugh_sailor. I don’t think I could agree with you more. The spontineity that is present in dating is one of the main things that has always supported my relationships.
I am lucky in the sense that I learned that attitude somewhere along the way. Dont get me wrong. I have my stubborn, precocious moods at times, we all do. But it is part of my personality to do the little things throughout the week, week after week, month after month.
If both partners have that mentality, the relationship will likely last and endure the hard times with much more ease and bliss.
Very good explanation.
Comment by Cocokisses on 29 May 2007:
Great post Laugh-Sailor. You make it sound like you are an expert
Comment by Thomas on 30 May 2007:
If poeple married a longer time they get experience in relationship. You can not always live like the first weeks of the relationship because you would collaps in a short time. Yes, it is routine in the relationship but it may not be boring because this would be the end. The couple have to work on the relationship all the time. Than they will be strong to get over hard times.
Comment by seekhonesty on 30 May 2007:
I somewhat agree that when you get married, you tend to take things for granted. It’s too easy to take for granted that your partner isnt going anywhere because you are married. It seems that there is that maybe element when you dont get married, for example, hey maybe i better put my makeup on and keep myself up because he could leave at any time for someone who does. I think you have to work harder when you are not married, as they dont have anything stopping them. I guess it could work both ways, i know married men who dont care they are married. I just feel that you do tend to try a little harder and take alot less for granted when they are not your husband.
Comment by Thomas on 1 June 2007:
Very interesting, seehonesty
Comment by fala on 2 June 2007:
I think your 4 points are right on laugh_sailor.
Comment by Cocokisses on 2 June 2007:
Marriage is a lotta work…just like having a 24/7 really really really really hard job!
Comment by The_Dude on 3 June 2007:
I haven’t posted on here for ages.
Comment by The_Dude on 3 June 2007:
hold the press!
I just found the girl of my dreams and we’re getting married. She’s chinese, and amongst her hobbies if professional pleasure giving.
I couldn’t be happier.
Comment by The_Dude on 3 June 2007:
hold the press!
I just found the girl of my dreams and we’re getting married. She’s chinese, and amongst her listed hobbies is professional pleasure giving.
I couldn’t be happier.
Comment by mossimo on 4 June 2007:
Congrats Dude!!
Where are those types in the US?
Comment by Thomas on 11 June 2007:
Do you looking for this type of woman, mossimo?
Comment by mossimo on 11 June 2007:
Lol Thomas….if I wanted one I would find one. No thanks!
Happy “Loving Day” everyone…..June 12!!
Comment by Thomas on 12 June 2007:
Yes,mossimo,I think it would be not a problem. I also do not looking for this type of woman.
Comment by mossimo on 24 June 2007:
Great post Laugh Sailor
Comment by laugh_sailor on 25 June 2007:
Why thank you!
Comment by Thomas on 5 July 2007:
mossimo, have you found your lady already?
Comment by TOYOTACAMRY on 4 May 2009:
Marriage is the stupidest, most overated thing ever created. My first and only marriage ended in divorce 5 years ago, and it left me in financial ruin. It favors the woman and if you have kids which i do, u become a check writing machine. Thank God I got back on my feet financially. I would rather be in a long term committed relationship than be married. Women stop having sex after they get married, it is the old bait and switch.