The perfect stranger … never met him or her but he or she must be out there … that dream man or woman. That’s what most of us in relationships - wonderful relationships I must add - tend to believe. We just can’t help constantly looking over our shoulders with the idea that there is someone much better out there. This very myth has massacred millions of once loving relationships … it has made most people cheat … it has broken marriages.
Is this some endless ambition that will follow us all the days of love lives, that we never see a good thing even when we are sleeping with it? Are we really wired this way?
Tags: black women black men, black dating site, interracial dating sites
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Comment by Mick369 on 5 December 2008:
Well, what can I say? Other than, probably right! I love looking. Don’t want to make the mistake of missing the Best One!
Even If I’ve gotten that feeling of, This is Special, i think, what if still not right.
Sometimes you go back and find that she’s gone! And then you see all that was good and right while chasing the instant gratification and wonder.
I know now after much scurry and roaming around that I must trust my gut feeling and trust my spirit and the higher power!
Comment by msgenuine on 7 December 2008:
I think most people realize a good thing when they see it. Unfortunately two people have to feel this way with each other at the same time. One person may feel it and the other person may not realize it at the same time. If two people are on the same page I say go for it. If not, I think it is better to move on and not settle. I do believe there is someone for everybody but it takes a lot of weeding out to meet that special person.
Comment by Superlite27 on 7 December 2008:
Any match is merely a game of competing preferences. Look at the solidity of arranged marriages compared to those we choose for ourselves. Marriages arranged by parents are immensely more succesful than those we think we want. This merely confirms my belief that all people are really compatible, we just choose not to be because of our ingrained preferences. I’m sure there are plenty of white women out there who I would be perfectly happy with for the rest of my life. However, it is unlikely to happen because I am just not seeking them out. I am not attracted to them, therefore I have limited myself in finding what I believe to be my ideal mate. Nothing more than what the majority of others have also done by limiting their interest to WITHIN their own race. The exception being, they are more likely to find one because they are in the majority. Is the perfect person out there? Thay are ALL potentially the perfect person. We are merely limited by insisting on our preferences. Whatever they may be.
Comment by ashley720 on 9 December 2008:
I think this is a very interesting article. My present relationship is like this. The guy is great…amazing…but we are extremely different. I’m afraid to leave him because I know I might not find anyone who treats me like he does anytime soon. On the other hand, while I’m with him, I’m “looking over my shoulder” at other guys…i’ve yet to cheat..but as you can see I’m on a dating site that I signed up on since we’ve been together. Help?
Comment by lovelybbw on 14 December 2008:
…I think I’m one of the good ones being overlooked!
Comment by southernmoca on 21 April 2009:
Oh my goodness, I must comment on this blog. Isn’t it amazing how we as society are always looking for the perfect mate and we are as far from perfect as the miles between the earth and the sun. It all comes back to selfishness. We are always wanting more instead of appreciating what we have before us. when we selfishly look for that better person, a good person is being treated badly. The man I met on this site is not who I had in my head as the man for me but I gave him a chance and he is GOOD to me and he has answered the desires I had in my heart for a good man. Please read my profile I put a sentence in there that is very prevalent for this blog. I want a man who knows that I am not perfect but he knows that I am perfect for him.
When people realize that there is only ONE Hallie Berry, One Brad Pitt, One Denzel Washington and ONE Tamia and all of them are taken by other people already; things will go alot better for them. Throw away those selfish tendencies and appreciate what you have or else you will wake up one morning alone regretting your choices. Selfishness can’t keep you warm at night.