Sometimes people – women especially – reach this age when they get tired and just plain NOT interested in sex.
Well there is this woman who has been married for over 20 years and much as sex wasn’t a top priority in their marriage, it’s pretty much off the list for her now. Well she definitely worries about her starved hubby.
Is it ok to delete sex from your to-do list? Any suggestions for the starving party?
Tags: sex in marriage, black women black men, interracial dating sites
Popularity: 8% [?]
Comment by polyglot on 22 February 2008:
Wow! I don’t agree with a person deleting sex from the menu. Thankfully, I’m not at that age, and hope I’m never at the age where a healthy sex life is non-existent.
I think the woman who isn’t interested should meet with her doctor to talk about her low sex drive and what options are available to her. To be completely without sexual urges is NOT normal. Neither the husband nor wife should accept it as such. We are sexual beings, and if a husband is seeking physical affection from his wife, she should be able to meet his need, within reason. (I have to throw in that within reason for some of the high sex drive people)
I hope, starving party, that your spouse understands the importance the sexual relationship plays in the marriage and agrees to take the necessary steps to improve this problem.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 23 February 2008:
I am coming back to comment on this one!
Smiles,
Sharon
Comment by Rivax on 23 February 2008:
It is alright to delete sex on menu… but it is quite impossible to delete sex on the mind…
Comment by cocokisses on 23 February 2008:
It’s not okay unless you don’t mind your man dining elsewhere…
Comment by HereIamBaby on 23 February 2008:
Hello everyone…
This had pretty much happened to me.
I had lettle to no sex drive…then I came across Mona Vie…it changed my whole way of thinking…it has this berry in it that comes from the rainforest…the tribe members there give it to their women after they give birth and let me tell you it works!
My girl friend and I call it MONA VETRA! LOL
It does the same thing for men too! They start sleeping on their side…if you catch my drift!
Anyone who wants to know more can contact me.
Southern smiles,
Sharon
HereIAmBaby at AfroRomance
Comment by misslady1970 on 23 February 2008:
Hello everyone.To me it’s not normal to just not want sex.But, at the same time, Sex, has to be special to both parties.
They have to crave each other,and have that non stop chemistry…
Some times,it might take certain people to get into there zone….and just explore each other, and take it to the next level…
Comment by Fran42 on 24 February 2008:
delete sex? who really thinks they can get away with that and have a real loving relationship hmmmmm I plan on wanting sex until I die from a massive organism at a very ripe old age with a 20’something year old stud.
Comment by fala on 24 February 2008:
Sounds like a plan to me Fran!
Comment by ethereal99 on 24 February 2008:
Bad idea to delete sex, you gotta find a way to recycle the sex & make it interesting.
Comment by 43andrew on 24 February 2008:
i think you should talk to you husband about it openly….accept any and all things that come up…no pun intended…and your doctor too…and if you don’t get genuine interest and involvement with your doctor …get a new one…sex is sex…but it is also more than sex…you should consider all aspects of how this plays out…even if your husband is ok with becomming a monk for the next 40 years…seriously…what else could you be missing….i would ask also this question ..and you may not be able to answer it objectively…you’d be surprised…are you experiencing depression???….how are your hormone levels…you don’t need to get into costly pharmaceuticals to effect real difference in these areas…are you active physically??/do you have food sensitivities…there’s a lot to consider…including setting aside a couple hundred dollars for an assessment by a reputable chinese medicine practitioner….bite the bullet ..it may be the best thing you’ve ever done for yourself…and your marriage.
Comment by HereIamBaby on 25 February 2008:
Don’t give up on sex…it’s so great for the mind and body!
Smiles,
Sharon
Comment by Nick Carter on 27 February 2008:
What if it isn’t physical? What if it isn’t mental? What if it isn’t being tired of the same old same old? That doesn’t mean that “this woman” should give up on life. Hard as it is to believe (and I don’t think I intended a pun there), sex is not the be all and end all to life. There are folks who just are not that interested. There is probably a guy out there who would be perfect for this gal. It just isn’t me and I’m grateful that I’m not her husband. I would hate to have to make that kind of choice.
Comment by mossimo on 1 March 2008:
Gotta have some kinda sex…this woman should be worried. You can’t expect to be in a monogamous relationship then take the sex away.
Comment by fala on 2 March 2008:
Mossimo: nice guy or sex fiend?
Comment by jewel65 on 6 March 2008:
I agree with mossimo. Obviously if you’re not getting it at home, go out and get it! Sex is a basic human requirement, like breathing and eating, and no-one can expect someone to do without it, that’s just cruel. In my opinion, there is no point in being in a relationship if there is no sex, what’s the point, you’re better off on your own. If you don’t want sex, then go to flower-arrangement classes or something. But don’t make life miserable for your husband or wife and expect them to stick around, that’s inexcusable.
Comment by jewel65 on 6 March 2008:
Ha ha! I agree with mossimo. Obviously if you’re not getting it at home, go out and get it! Sex is a basic human requirement, like breathing and eating, and no-one can expect someone to do without it, that’s just cruel. In my opinion, there is no point in being in a relationship if there is no sex, what’s the point, you’re better off on your own. If you don’t want sex, then go to flower-arrangement classes or something. But don’t make life miserable for your husband or wife and expect them to stick around, that’s inexcusable.
Comment by soulmate2u on 10 March 2008:
This has actually happened to me and it has destroyed my marriage. It(not ever having sex) created even more problems in the marriage. When it first started happening, I was angry and hurt by it. Over the years, however, I have learned to let it go and forgive my wife for her lack of intimacy and physical love. I have learned to understand that this type of thing just happens to some women (it’s much more common than many believe), and mine just happened to be one of them. Right now I am ending my marriage and my divorce should be final by the summmer of ‘08. Obviously I agree that sex is a very important and wonderful part of any loving marriage. In the end I feel sorry for my wife because she has given up something very beautiful and has lost my true love and her marriage. I feel bad for her that she will lose much more than just her sex drive.
So, even though this seems like a funny thing to casually discuss, it does create a great deal of hurt and pain in any loving realtionship. And the real sad part is that in many instances the woman just does not know what to do; so, she does nothing, and that makes it worse.
Comment by Jeff on 10 March 2008:
My experience is that sex is best when these are present:
(1) Trust
(2) Affection
(3) Meeting of the minds-mutual goals and plans for the relationship.
Fran42, your plan seems very good as well. I’ll be pursuing the same with a 20 year old version of Janet Jackson. Our wardrobes will totally malfunction.
Comment by mossimo36 on 11 March 2008:
Haha Fala!! mossimo…..sex fiend within a monogamous relationship..HA!
Comment by big daddy on 24 March 2008:
3 reasons why men lose interest in sex
-fat women
-ugly women
-loud feminist bossy career women
enough said
Comment by mossimo36 on 24 March 2008:
Fala, good girl, or ice queen
Comment by Morningflower on 25 June 2008:
wow! there ought to be a law against deleting sex from a marriage/relationship? - seriously! there has to be! - Why would anyone do that? I don’t get it. I just don’t..like cocokisses said “he will be dining somewhere else for sure”!
Comment by jewel65 on 26 June 2008:
3 reasons why women lose interest in sex:
-fat men
-ugly men
-loud macho bossy career men
enough said, big daddy!
Comment by homesteader on 22 January 2009:
Yes you are correct in your thinking , indeed some months have 31 days .
Comment by cntryrob on 17 February 2009:
well it sounds like this woman is very selfish,she doesn’t really consider the needs of her husband,like someone said,get some help to find out why she isn’t interested,you can’t expect him to just become a monk for no real reason,it isn’t fair to him.sex is a great beautiful way to express the love you feel for your companion.
Comment by homesteader on 8 March 2009:
Yes , March has 31 Days , Life without Make King Love is just Life . Failure to Consummate / Grounds for absolutory Separation of a contract of MARRIAGE on grounds of undue stressful lack of Sexual Needs and Desires for a Healthy Heart functioning .
Comment by homesteader on 9 March 2009:
Before I would leave one establishment to Dine at another / I would be Kind enough to pay my Bill in Full and Place a Health Tip for services Rendered . Use the restroom to wash my hands and whatever else needed to be done . Then close the Door on the way out , as I have Grown to Realize that The way I treat others in Life / Is how they will treat Me in return . Bye make King another Happy in a Sexual Relationship / They in Return will make You Happy . My advice is for Y’All to Grow - up and take time to stop to smell the Roses , Love Les
Comment by reecey on 31 May 2009:
I am a woman who has been married for 33yrs, I was a teenage bride, my husband even as a young man was not that interested in sex, I feel I have to make the first move all the time, this makes me feel unloved, un-attractive, and destroys my confidence. Lately he has lost all interest completely, I am a christian so would never look else where, I am still only 52 so the thought of no loving relationship for the rest of my life fills me with dread, we do not get on in other areas either. I feel the strain is taking it’s toll and affecting other areas of the marriage also. He has been the only person in my life in that way. so you see it can be the other way too, the man with no interest.
Comment by Girlstar7 on 31 May 2009:
To Jewel65: I just read your comment that was june
2008 and I really had a good laugh. Women can loose interest for those reasons and if he can’t kiss and
has bad breath (lol). I really had a good laugh, if
you ever read this I ‘d love your feed back.