When spouses lose focus, a marriage can be as fatal as a distracted driver on the road prone to accidents.
To some extent, we can compare a relationship between spouses to the way drivers conduct themselves on the roads. Some drivers believe in themselves too much to type out text messages while controlling the vehicle simultaneously, forgetting it only takes a split second for something to go wrong that requires sharp reflexes. Isn’t this a lot similar to couples who conduct themselves with such reckless abandon that leaves the relationship death-defying in case of an accident?
When a spouse goes out and sleeps around with no concern for his health or that of his spouse, an encounter with a STD leaves both of them infected. Much as a reckless driver is to blame for an accident, so too is this promiscuous spouse. Unfortunately, the innocent passengers or other motorists, or the other spouse in the case of a relationship also have to bear the consequences.
My point is, it is important for both spouses to remain focused on their marriage to avoid going off-track. First time you learned how to drive, your eyes were totally glued on the road. Then the over-confidence checked in and you became slack … driving with one hand, watching that lil’ screen on your dashboard focusing less and less on the road.
This is the same with marriage; you were focused on your spouse and his or her needs during the honeymoon phase. But just like the mini TV screens distract you, you allow yourself to be distracted by your work, that sensitive man that listens to you more than your hubby does or that hottie at work … You have already shifted your focus!
How do you expect to have desire for your spouse after a whole day of flirting with his or her competition? How do you expect to pour your heart out on your spouse when you have already emptied it on someone else?
Unfortunately, husbands and wives are recurrently diverting their focus from those they vowed to honor and be faithful to for the rest of their lives. Why is it so hard to devote the time and effort you are expending on someone else to improving your marriage? FOCUS…
Tags: black women white men, interracial dating sites, black women black men
Popularity: 16% [?]
Comment by whurr on 6 June 2009:
The best ways to kill a marriage:
1) have an affair
2) tell her your gay
3) let her catch you boning ‘Mr Bunny’ her lifelong cherished stuffed animal
If you have any questions, you shouldn’t be married.
Comment by NOPLAYER on 6 June 2009:
Marriage is hard work, point blank! It can be emotionally taxing and trying at times.
It’s easier to ingore the issues than deal with them, so people start putting in more time at work, hanging out more with friends and or spending more time away from home as if absence will fix the problem,not!
There are many reason for the question at hand, a lack of trust, the feeling that your spouse no longer cares and emotional divorce.
I used the term emotional divorce because the distance may have grown to the point where two people live under the same roof but they may as well live on different coast or they’re married but they’ve become room mates.
I think it boils down to having the “WILL” to deal with the issues that threaten the peace within your marriage because anything else is just a cover up of the real issues at hand.
Comment by surprised on 7 June 2009:
The quickest way to kill your marriage is to repeatedly demonstrate contempt for your spouse because he or she is not perfect. Which is very easy to do in today’s world of quick fixes and better choices” The grass is greener theory” for those of us who are lucky enough to have found someone to share our life with , we need to remain grateful that someone is willing to put up with us.
Comment by NOPLAYER on 9 June 2009:
@ surprised
When it come to the “Grass Is Greener” theory, I’ll say this, ” If your neighbors grass is greener, so is his water bill!”
You’ll only get out of a relationship what the both of you put into it.
Peace
Comment by surprised on 11 June 2009:
agreed!
Comment by homesteader on 25 June 2009:
They cut my dead oak down this morning.
I put the fence back up / Mowed most of the Lawn / wheel broke on front of lawnmower .
HAD SPARE ON OLD MOWER / FIXED IT .
Had company / only got about 5 square of lawn tomorrow and will be cut until probably September .
Love this St. Augustine grass .
Comment by miri2008 on 13 July 2009:
Easiest way to kill a marriage (or any relationship for that matter) is by being non-genuine and dishonest. Trust is the basis for all good relationships. If you can’t trust a person to be real with you, you never know where you actually stand with them, and that is the beginning of the end. period.
Comment by flowers to Philippines on 31 August 2009:
1). Blaming. When things aren’t going well in a marriage, it’s easy to blame the other person. Blaming allows you to feel righteous - you feel clean for a moment, but you don’t get anywhere in the long run.
2). Contempt. Quite often, contempt shows not by what you say, but by the tone in your voice. It can make your spouse feel shame, embarrassment, or bad about themselves. They might get angry and shoot back at you with contempt of their own. Ugly.
3).Pace. In a good relationship, the pace of the conversation starts out slow, then picks up, then it slows down again. If a bad relationship, the pace is moving fast and it stays there. It makes it difficult to communicate, because both partners are trying to talk over the other one.