A trial seperation saved their marriage

Posted by James, 23 Dec 11

Do you think a trial separation can salvage a dying relationship? It’s a well known fact that once a couple decides to separate, there is no escaping divorce. But counter intuitive as it may be, this couple : Jenen and Mark (Featured in the video below) say taking some time out saved their practically dead marriage. And much as this couple warn that taking a vacation from a relationship can be risky, three months down the line, they were back together and stronger than ever.

Well, marriage therapist Gary Newman confirms that this rather unorthodox fix to a troubled relationship does work – especially if this separation is well structured and the couple uses this time for reflection and personal growth. Newman gives advice on how taking a break from marriage can actually save it from divorce. Watch video

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Knowing too well how risky this can be, would you put your already failing relationship to such a test?

2 responses to "A trial seperation saved their marriage"

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  1.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 12

    A failing relationship is not tested in a trial separation. It's the testing of the "failing resolve" of one or both parties which causes such consternation. I agree with BiloBikko, that a trial separation may save a marriage. I also agree that many couples do not recognize the difference between a "Bond" and a "Choke Hold". An appropriate adage is " if you don't have a plan, you plan to fail". It's funny to me that we plan for "success" but we have no plan for our failings & failures. A "trial separation" should never be entered into without a plan. What is the desired result of the separation? What is the REAL REASON that the separation is needed? How long is this to last? What do yo hope to learn about yourselves and about each other? What spiritual, emotional support will you both require? What boundaries will be set between you both and which boundaries will be set AROUND the both of you? (after all, this is someone you love or are at least are "accustomed to have in your life"). How much 'transparency' will be expected? (Secrets WILL be destructive to the success of your separation--IF the goal is an eventual reunion or the POSSIBILITY of a reunion.) MAKE A PLAN!! AND WORK IT! Couples should establish AND PUT IN WRITING the terms of a trial separation. Be specific about behaviours such as social/sexual/dating interaction; what will be disclosed within your business and social networks. Agree on how your families will be told...if at all. Work jointly to inform and protect your children. (This is even more important if yours is a blended family--avoid pitting 'her kids against his kids'.) Trial Separations are hard work. There's a lot to untangle and a lot to repair, but, whether the goal is to reunite the marriage or to stabilize and "call it a life", it can be great time to make room in hearts, homes and lives for a great deal of beauty. Sugah!

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  2.   bolobikko says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 12

    I believe that a trial separation may save some marriages! Before couples get engaged and married and begin having children, the relationship they had have always been different from the one after they get married. Many couples get too close to each other and don't allow each other enough space and privacy. It is not surprising if after a few years, especially after having some children; they feel like they are suffocating and begin to nag each other and with time decide to divorce. Some couples can be possessive, suspicious and jealous. While these are normal human feelings, but they may fracture a weak relationship and cause it to collapse into a divorce. I strongly recommend that couples play a game sometimes by stopping to communicate with each other two days weekly and pretend as if they are strangers. It may also help if for a few days monthly they go away from each and not see or communicate so as to create some space between them and be re-energized and re-empowered. Sometimes they should sleep in different beds and rooms apart from each other. Too much closeness in a relationship can create boredom that choke and put out a fire in a relationship. BOLO BIKKO, NEW YORK CITY

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