Are internet initiated marriages doomed to head south?
Cyber love… success stories… we never cease to hear about them. Well it’s a great way of reassuring those of us who want none of that to at least realize that love is love. It doesn’t matter where you find it coz when cupid strikes… he knows no time or space or distance.
There is an emergence of people who have clicked their way to the altar… and Matt Frassica was one of them. He was featured in People magazine as a cyber-love success story in 1998… he had found his love on the Internet.
Six years later, he became a divorcee. And all those common interests he shared with his Cyber bride - long walks on the beach, homemade lasagna and a love for the romantic comedy "While You Were Sleeping" weren't enough to make Frassica's marriage last. He realized he was gay and so ended his once successful cyber dream of "happily ever after".
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Internet dating sites began to sprout up about 12 years ago and come 2002 it raised less eyebrows. According to the Pew Internet and American Life Project, about 3 million Americans have found love online, entered a long-term relationship, and/or married.
However, area therapists and family-law attorneys say that they are noticing an increasing number of cyber-splits. Apparently, much as most have found their one-and-only on the net, it seems that cyber-romance will also bring with it its fair share of divorces.
Why this line of thinking?
Given that the median length of a first marriage that ends in divorce is eight years, (according to a 2005 Census Bureau survey) so far there has been no formal statistics showing if Internet marriages fair better than traditional forms of meeting. But their biggest fear is the RUSH…
A Match.com study revealed 11 percent of married couples who met through it's site were in love before meeting. What people portray online through their profile and e-mails exchanged is just enough to start the fantasy of happily-ever-after. "They have already created this image that this person is perfect for them," said Orange County relationship specialist Michelle Conboy. "They become so excited about the prospect of this fantasy coming true that they ignore red flags and don't ask the right questions."
Another marriage-family therapist described it as the dessert plate you see at a restaurant and you create an idea in your head about how it's going to taste. But when you get down to eating it it's a different story - 'Wait, this tastes different. It's not what I ordered.'
Most people usually turn to online dating coz they are fed-up with short-lived romances and bar hopping hence they are on a mission to meet someone. "They are eager and looking intently but are they at more risk of rushing it and eventually divorcing?,"
Are online daters rushing into the altar too soon? Are we going back to the days of impulsive Vegas weddings which have raised the divorce rate in America? Are internet-initiated marriages doomed to head south?
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