Are you in an interracial dating site to date your own?

Posted by Ria, 05 Nov 09

interracial dating siteWhy are you a member of this interracial dating site? Well, as most of us would assume, it’s because you want to date interracially. I mean, it’s an interracial dating site, right?

OkCupid – an online dating site – analyzed messaging habits of almost a million of its members. They came up with some very interesting findings: one being that your race determines whether you will get a response to messages you send out to other members you are interested in.

Some of the findings are:

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

  • Black women are the best respondents. They are more likely to reply to a first message from another member. However, they get the fewest replies. In essence, all races single them out (sad as it is to say) - even black men.
  • White men get the most responses – from women of all ethnicities. Irony is: they are the worst respondents to messages sent to them.
  • White women – much as they have an above-average compatibility with men of almost all ethnicities – respond much better to white men. Asian and Hispanic women utterly prefer white men. The rate of reply of these three groups of women to non-white men is terrible. What’s more; even though very few people considered interracial marriage a bad idea, 45% of whites prefer to date within their race, compared to 20% of non-white (with 54% of white women preferring to date white men).

Could these findings be true for this site – that underneath, a significant number of members on our interracial dating site still prefer dating members of their own race? And does race really determine ones success or failure on an interracial dating site?

144 responses to "Are you in an interracial dating site to date your own?"

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  1.   simple75 says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 10

    Comment by MissJamaica on 5 December 2009: Okay some of you women are not thinking. If black men are approaching you on the site as a black woman despite having other races on their profilethat says that maybe they take it for granted that people know they like their own race and are specifying, since this IS an interracial site, what OTHER races in addition to the obvious one of their own, they want. I almost left off black men in my profile because i thought it was obviousthen realized how biased it would look and just put all ethnicities. You should then realize if black men try to talk to you on here that maybe its not black women they run from but the types of black women they tend to encounterif a black man approaches you here thats a good thing, it says he is openminded without feeling the need to turn his back on his own kind to do so. ------------------------------------- Exactly! Yes, yes, yes! The crux of this is not race. ...Inter-cultural dating NOT interracial... Lisa Turtle over Lil Kim. Besides, the only people that make things about race are those outside of the relationship. ------------------------------------- Comment by simple75 on 25 November 2009: This site teaches me way more than black planet ever could. Why? Black women present themselves differently here. There is a certain honesty that they speak/write with here (at least in this thread), even if it hurts me as a black man. (Yes, takinitall, your post hurt to read. I can only imagine what it was like to live it.) Im not here because I hate black women. I love black women. Personally, I dont date bigots of any race. Period. Hence why I am not a member of other race based dating/social sites. I know it sounds stupid, but Im more likely to get along with and share commonalities with a black woman that is willing to date outside of her race than one who is unwilling to even consider that as an option. Why? Truthfully, I dont believe this is an interracial dating site. Its an intercultural dating site.

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  2.   cheney44 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 10

    LMAO,some these comments are great and some are.. hmmm.. To some it all up, this an interracial dating site. If you want to date within your race, it will be much harder here, but it can happen. My advice to all you, If u want to date any race, go to match.com or a crap load of dating sites that specialize in mainly everyone but black or very limited. Make room for the people who really want to date interracially. I waste a lot of my time looking at profiles of white men testing.

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  3.   cheney44 says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 10

    There is a lot of truth to what you said. I have had white men on this site kick me to the curb over and over. That is all I contact because that is why I am on this site. Blackmen are always looking at my profile, like they are going to change me back or something. I haven't given up, but I am very dissappointed in the fake men on here, especially the white men. I think the white guys on here are just wanting to test the waters. They put on their profiles, all races, so just as you said that rules us sistas' out. I will stay single, until that right one comes along. Of course the men on this site need to get serious.

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  4.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 07 Jul 10

    @ Comment by whurr on 7 November 2009: Statisticsstatistics they make me happythey make me money!! This is the 3rd intelligent post of my life! @talnwhite1 - Without being facetious, you are way off base on everything you have stated? NYC has a lot of immigrants, ethnic variations, variety of races, but to say that the entire population is 95% non-white? ---------------------------------------- Thank you whurr! What a crock of shyt from a "libertarian" spokesperson.

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  5.   tina3219 says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 10

    First marriage black man (died) second marriage divorced from white man (issues that could not be worked out). We are still friends, cannot live together. He has a character flaw and this is not attributable to him being white. Any race could have that character flaw, lol. My first white boyfriend was in grade school. I am on the site to find a white man who I will love for him being him and he will love me for the person I am.

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 26 May 10

    I have read most of the comments.... some are very introspective, heartfelt and enlightening. I say this.. simply put. America is hyper sensitive about the issues of RACE. If one is willing or desiring a person to love and share your life experiences with who is not of your own RACE, then please do carefully explore and seek what it is you believe you need. Worrying about RACE, and its poisonous effect on our culture is counter productive. It can get you "down" if you let it, please don't. I know at times in life it is much easier said than done. Working at, and yes, it takes work, as our emotions, needs, desires are in constant fluctuation. Working on keeping your needs in front of you will bring YOU success! I am learning that the internet is a cool tool to use, but don't exclude finding spots where the men or women you desire hang out at. Take up a hobby, go with some "ethnic or white girl friends" to these functions, places, groups, etc and see what happens. Get out and enjoy life to the fullest. That is what I am doing. So, I am practicing what I preach. Myself, I have always been attracted too and been involved with White men on some level. Much more when I was much younger, I am 39 now. I have been married to a black man, divorced for 11 years now. I have dated black men and have discovered for myself, that although cosmetically black men can be attractive and yes even beautiful, they way the express themselves in THIS culture does not match mine. For me it is acidic. Its oil and water. So, having known this all of my life, I started paying attention to the white men that were attracted to me, the Arab, East Indian, Spanish etc. I have found much more relaxed and natural compatibility with them, than with my own. I feel no shame, remorse or regret. I have a beautiful black daughter from my previous marriage and am teaching her not to see color. But to see other attributes, such as the soul. I was naturally like that, still am. My wish, my desire is to find a non black man to marry or partner with one day in the most loving, endearing and supportive way! I read a post by someone who was raised in Europe! I would love to visit there and to be with European men! I have been a member of a few of these interracial sites and have "hit it off" with a few men from the UK and Ireland. The only thing stopping either of us was distance! Good luck to all and may your blessings abound. Moon

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  7.   Rapid58 says:
    Posted: 26 May 10

    Everyone has an opinion about dating, black, white or what ever...I am on this site to date out of my race...I am white and I love the Black Woman to date or to marry, but there are no Black Women in my area of the country..I have loved Black Women ever since I saw one when I was a small boy in central Colorado where I lived...I still live in Western Colorado, but still there are no Black Women to date where I live...So I must go out of my area to chat with and try to get to know someone to connect with who is Black... I am going on 64yrs. old and love older Black Women about 52+ no younger....To answer everyones Question, Yes, I am here to date interracially. I am not here to date within my race,,,No exceptions....LOL to all...

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 30 Apr 10

    I just required some information and was searching on Google for it. I visited each page that came on first page and didnt got any relevant result then I thought to check out the second one and got your blog. This is what I wanted!

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  9.   mts2sea says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 10

    a few of the people posting on this thread are arguing/debating about the most basic topic in either psych101 or soc101. and some are even hypocritical on their own positions, just for (what seems like) the sake of espousing their writing prowess. nature or nurture take a position and dont try to mask it in hyperbole. wisechoice---RIGHT ON!!!

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  10.   maymiedoll says:
    Posted: 22 Feb 10

    Personally, I am on an interracial dating site because I wish to DATE INTERRACIALLY. Everyone, if attracted--I don't care WHO you are--is initially attracted by that very first visual when he or she meets somebody on the street. It is my personal opinion that I belong with a black man. The first time I fell for a black man I did not see "color or ethnicity." What I saw in his eyes were all the colors GOD created. I saw deep passion; care, love, intimacy and substance. I am not on an interracial dating site to date within my race; this is why it is called "interracial," isn't it? I also feel that part of feeling the gap between all races is to admit that there are, indeed different characteristics and points of personality between us all. I am not only attracted to the personalities of black men; I have to include black women--who I believe are the most beautiful women in the world. In general, they raise their children with deep and strong family values and the males are (for the most part) raised very closely to their mothers, rendering them in touch with the female persona. This results in a level of intimacy I, personally have not found while dating within my race. To all the beautiful black women out there who have raised such wonderful sons, KUDOS. You are doing the best job in a world that makes it extra tough for you to do your work. I believe there are no differences in the desire to be loyal from one race to another and if a man/woman is ABLE to reach his/her parther with the level of love and intimacy needed and take care of a single heart, there is just no reason for disloyalty. Soon, I hope to find the black man I will marry. Being a confident and responsible woman, I do not fear my partner's eventual wish to cheat. Interracially, it might be a good point to make if we just all look from the inside out but to start with ourselves first, admitting the simple truth. I, personally, just plain love the black race. I love black men, women and children. That is why I am on an interracial dating site. I just plain belong with a black man--and believe me; there really are some wonderful ones out there.

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Feb 10

    So my lady says to me the further day, "I love you just the way you are." How cute, right? Well, fall on; it's not that trouble-free. Let me offer you the past of the discussion ... We had just sit down for a pasta dinner.

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  12. Posted: 06 Feb 10

    I do not hate myself so I will never make a statement that I chose another race over my own due to how those in my race treated me. People who make those statements have psychological problems, especially black women. The first interracial relationships in the United States was between white men and black women. If white men were that great to black women they would have elevated them at that time and we will not be dealing with racial issues today. The relationship that white males had with black women back then are basically the same today except there is no slavery. It is shocking that black women allow white men to do to them what they claim to hate black men for which is to only want them for sex. My point is that I agree with your great grandmother and your mother that white men only want black women for sex. If this is not true then ask the white man who is interested in you to marry you first before sex. Then watch him turn black. You have to have self respect.

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  13.   big.C says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 10

    just because you date or are on a interracial site should not mean you hate your own color or race. this site says "where love is more than skin deep" if your not getting past the skin of anyone here to see them for who they are, your dumb. Black woman (like my mother) I prefer you, but most if not all of the black women on this site that don't want to date black men, are silly and need to grown up. You like black men, stop lying, I see you'll with the white guy here and there, you'll be checking me out hard then white women, you just tired of niggas (niggas come in white,too).

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  14.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 09

    P.S. I received messages from Four Different Continents and Two States just this morning about My Positive Comments on Blog Topics And you ask for Censorship on Comments . To Screen me - a Successful Member / Who started here looking same as you ?

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  15.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 09

    In Contrast ; These topics bring you into the Limelight at a site where others may never be seen as Openly by hiding in the Shadows of having a Profile . Many days has this Life and a Multitude of Chances to Prosper in knowledge learned by others Opinions . If , I ever say anything Negative about your comments / that will only be my opinion , and openly judged by the World at Large . Who is Correct and who is Incorrect / I only remain here because I have lots of time to Voice my Deep Thoughts . This is a Free-World afterall

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  16.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 09

    Smiletellsit ; I , myself find these Blog Topic conversations to be Entertaining . Being my youngest Daughter / Paid my Membership at this site years ago . I wanted to continuously make it shown that her money gets every pennies worth of time . Her Father was Alone for many years / Yet he saw no Reason to Quit even being Teased daily by others of Grander Expectations of what they Desired . I Enjoy reading others opinions / I also Enjoy commenting my thoughts , this being the only place I can Openly Voice my Opinion . I was raised a Poorman / I also became Disabled at a young age . Knot being a Quitter / My Disability only slowed me down a Little bit until 34 years later , I became Disabled a Second time . Slowly I turned and with Patience my wife found me here , Hehe . This Site was Designed to bring people of Various Heritages Together / It is very successful for some . The Fact being ; commenting on Blog Topics Brings Visibility / and helps to Characterize Individuals Thought Patterns openly . Tis like the Expert Golfer who is seen by millions daily / We all judge his actions . Some with positive , others with negative / Yet I know that I could never beat him in his chosen sport , I still Honor his Skills . I would challenge him to a Game of Billiards / Yet he does knot have interest in Competition against me in a game of my Interest . to be continued / breakfast is ready , LOL .

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  17.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 21 Dec 09

    @ smiletellsit To answere your question, "why would anyone come on this site to date their own or why would people that are not really available com on this site?" The site's moto is "Where love is more than skin deep", so if it's not about the skin color, as far as I'm concerned this leaves room for "MY OWN"! I'm sure no sane married person will be on this site trying to hook up with someone, then again who knows? Trust me there are people on the site that contact you even when you state that you're in a relationship or you're married and you're not looking for anything. The blog is fair game and open to all. You don't hook up with people on blogs you do that elsewhere. At the end of the day, it is what it is! Peace

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  18. Posted: 20 Dec 09

    @fadedsuede on 11 November 2009, your comment is not accurate, but since you think that way, you attract those kind of blk and H women. There are plenty of successful, intelligent and loving blk and H men. White men don't have that market cornered. My choice is a preference, based on attraction, as Jungle said, and on common lifestyles. Period.

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  19. Posted: 20 Dec 09

    OMG, Ria, I'm so glad you posted this article. I've been wondering the same thing. Why would anyone come on this site looking for their own race OR "all ethnicities." What? And why do married people or people not really available come on the site at all? So silly. It's too bad the site administrators don't have better screening practices for the membership. It would be nice to know there is a better quality of members than there are. I've heard a lot of complaints lately about some of the membership being quite creepy. AS FOR THE SURVEY: I'm not big on statistics because the variables are often too broad and it's very hard to avoid the bias of the person or group administering the survey. They usually can't help but put their own personal spin on it in the way they word the questions and responses. People are people. If they get together, regardless of race, and haven't taken the time to really get to know the other person is compatible in values, goals and lifestyle, then it's going to end no matter what. So again, race is just preference. It's the content of the person that really matters and transcends all else.

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  20.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 09

    Wise Choice ; You are Welcome . A few people , Truly came here to Seek Success . Les

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  21.   WiseChoice says:
    Posted: 16 Dec 09

    . Thanks, Mr Homesteader. Your comments are always welcome. W.C. .

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  22.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 09

    W.C. / Hehe : upon further witness to your Story / mine eyes have seen the Glory

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  23.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 14 Dec 09

    WiseChoice ; these Blog topics may find the one you are looking for / Sure Nuff brings a man out of the " Shadow " and women also who come into the open by being seen everyday . This year still has a long way to travel . This is the site for Inter-racial Success . Churches only read from one old book / There have been many written about Life around the World . Send your money to God / Here is my address lol . And the Pastor said " We need to pay our electric bill " to me Hehe .

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  24.   WiseChoice says:
    Posted: 12 Dec 09

    @ WhiZZ... Dee, I'm not against "white"(or anyone) for that matter. Heck,.. I've got enough Alligator (in me) to know that none of us are all one race or another. Well,... there are some, I suppose, who claim to be. Who knows if they're right?? "One Day" we'll ALLLL be surprised to find out who we (really) are. Well,.... that's a deep subject. Not fit for the ears of those who think we all "just arrived" here sometime in the (last) few decades. Most people want to believe that we all came from ADAM;... even though I can PROVE that it is not even a sound Scriptural notion; however popular. But if we WERE (and we're NOT)... then it goes that we are ALLLL black, white, yellow, red, brown, pink and polka-dot. We just mix differently. But anyone serious enough to look at the facts, will soon come away with a different opinion than the stoic one we were raised to believe. Some things just aren't SO;... no matter HOW many pulpits preach it this coming Sunday!! And we all know it;.. deep in our souls; ..admit it or not. But we DID come from other realms. That much (IS) so. And Earth is the great mixing pot of life as we know it. So,.. You are right, Dee;... It probably doesn't matter. It's just that when I think of the feeling of being held in the arms of a beautiful (to the eyes of the beholder) black woman.. even mixed/multi.... something goes off in me so deep, I can't describe it. And when that happens,... I just know that no other person on earth... even the polka-dot ones........ can ever match the charm and the total completeness I feel;... the sense of knowing I where I belong. Of course that can be a problem too. I once heard that somebody told Liberace to go back where he belonged/came from and take his @#&$@@ Piano WITH him. (Of course, it KILLED his MOTHER). And the idea of all the church folks (including me) going to "HEAVEN"??? Here's one you'll enjoy (Thanks, Janice).: -------- I was shocked, confused, bewildered As I entered Heaven's door, Not by the beauty of it all, Nor the lights or its decor. But it was the folks in Heaven Who made me sputter and gasp-- The thieves, the liars, the sinners, The alcoholics and the trash. There stood the kid from seventh grade Who swiped my lunch money! twice. Next to him was my old neighbor Who never said anything nice. Herb, who I always thought Was rotting away in hell, Was sitting pretty on cloud nine, Looking incredibly well. I nudged Jesus, 'What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How'd all these sinners get up here? God must've made a mistake. 'And why's everyone so quiet, So somber - give me a clue.' 'Hush, child,' He said, 'they're all in shock. No one thought they'd be seeing you.' JUDGE NOT. Remember...Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car . Every saint has a PAST... Every sinner has a FUTURE! ------------------------------- So,... Thayer is hope fer' you n' me YET!!! LOL. I know some churches still teach being interracial is of the devil.! What the 2@#$^@^ kinda **** is THAT???!!! Just be glad you didn't come out "Alligator".!~! RRAauuuuuughhhhhGGhhh!!!!! There are worse things to be. LOLOL. LOVE to ALL,.... (you & T... especially) WC~ .

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  25.   deewhizz says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    WOW Wise what an incredible compliment thnk u and u know I think very highly of u as well:) But u also know very well u r only getting 87% of the black queen! I did end up being incredibly happy to be whatever this mix is after HS it seems to attract the most innnnterrresting men lol! BUT Wise remember U would STILL be in love w/ the 6% Asian, 2% Native American and YES GOD FORBID the 5% EUROPEAN. Even if that blood came in2 my veins under the most terrible of circumstances(and who knows? I'm so boggled about the Asian/Pacific Islander I don't give the Euro much thought, jst the usual slavemaster who preferred a more exotic partner? But Wise its still in there too :)

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  26.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    . Sorry about the bottom blurb at the end of my discourse. I didn't finish the thought. If you were of an ethnicity OTHER than black, I realize I would not probably not respond to you as easily as I would if you (WERE) black unless you understand me. I KNOW that I am drawn very naturally to a BLACK woman, ... just like many of (YOU) are drawn very powerfully, to a BLACK MAN,a WHITE MAN, Hispanic, Indian, or Asian!! It's just "IN" you. You can't help it. You just feel "special" when you're with the ethnicity that suites your inner nature.. your inner-drive! It's just that way. If you're (Black) and you are ONLY attracted to a (White, Hispanic or Asian, etc.,) ... or if you're White and ONLY attracted to BLACK or another ethnicity, it just "is whut it IS", folks; for what-EVER reason. Like Mr. Homesteader says;.. Life is to enjoy! Go for it! "We are all Grown people / here on this site for the same Joyful Results." As for me, I ONLY find deep romance with my Black QUEEN. Thanks for allowing my point of view. W.C.

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  27.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 09

    . @ Mr.Homesteader: Thank you Sir; for your wise advice. I appreciate the way you always say comforting things to people who are reaching out. You are always encouraging. @ Precious DeeWhizz: Dee,... Honey you know I think the world of you. I say that in front of the whole world and I know you well enough to say it to you and mean it!!! But I have to tell you a fact you may not like: If you were white,... I honestly wouldn't think of you as any more than a friend. I truly mean that. I realize that you are indeed a beautiful woman; Skin color has little impact on your natural, very attractive and breath-taking physical perfection. Who would fail to notice your innate qualities; irregardless of color or ethnicity?? I am sure that even other women study you with certain awe. You are witty and ingenious, creative, inventive, and willing to think outside the box of tradition when it comes to the ways of love /relationship. You're a dedicated lady, committed to home, kids and a man who could support, love and respect you; and recognize your need to be responsively sassy. You are a wonderful lady, a fantastic flirt and a perfect companion for a man who can keep up with your charming ways and not get jealous or selfish. ..but ... as much as I admire you...and you know it,... I would never entertain a relationship with you... --never even think of you other than a friend.... ...unless you were Black. My desire for a Black mate is that deeply ingrained in me. I love your intelligence. But I also love your ethnicity. I know;... you can tell me you are mixed with all sorts of races; and I know that it's true. But to me, it is your rich Black heritage that attracts me. You and I have become great friends. Who knows where it might lead, eventually? --Well,..provided that you and (TakinitALL) can keep getting along. (You KNOW she asked me to marry her, over in the blog on "Saviors or Manipulators" I posted her a long "acceptance speech". I'm awaiting a reply. (smile). If I were married to either-or-both of you (yeah, rrrRight!!) I would INSIST that you stay on this site. because I LIKE a wife who flirts with the guys!! Hey,... who knows??? Laws are changing. We might get back to Pre-Roman-Era biblically correct marital standards YET.! Is is wrong?? I'm not Mormon..... ... not looking to become anything like it. But if it's so WRONG,... how come the twelve tribes of Israel came out of FOUR women and ONE husband?? Oh,... and did I tell you that Rachael was BLACK? Perhaps either of the servant-wives were also. But Rachael DEFINITELY was a black woman. Ask me and I will explain all that. But suffice it to know that her two SONS were black: Joseph and Benjamin. Joseph married a BLACK Pharaoh Princess. His two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh were BLACK. They were blessed by Jacob to take the inheritance of Joseph;.. who became 2nd to the Egyptian Pharaoh. So,... if you know nothing ELSE,.. you KNOW that These three tribes were BLACK: Ephraim, Manasseh and Benjamin. You can't get away from the truth. So,... is an extended family actually WRONG?? or is it just culturally and socially incorrect? Look at all the single women wanting a good man! Is THAT "culturally and socially" acceptable?? Don't you think something ought to get back to common sense;... when you can SEE it's not working? Families can't make it on TWO incomes today!! TELL me what would it hurt?? I DARE you!! TELL me! You know I'm right even if you don't like it!! And you can play church til the cows come home and it STILL won't wash.!! But if you don't like THAT attitude... you will HATE me when I tell you this: There is NO reason to OUTLAW marijuana--- because it is a medical miracle and the AMA KNOWS it!!! Why am I bringing it up?? I don't even smoke!!! But the TRUTH is,... that it is one of the most VALUABLE crops in the WORLD!!! The U.S. NAVY uses hemp for ropes on ships. Tell the NAVY hemp is wrong! You can make bio-FUEL from HEMP cheaper than you can from CORN!! Cheaper than you can from CRUDE OIL.! And it's a sustainable CROP... Sustainable ENERGY. Some of the nicest and softest Fabrics are made from HEMP. I can show you HEMP in the BIBLE; but not by that name. STILL,..it makes excellent fabric. It does it as GOOD or BETTER than COTTON and it's cheaper to process than cotton, I am told. Hemp is used to make ALL KINDS of textile products. Hemp makes PAPER. Why harvest TREES when you can make a BETTER GRADE of paper from HEMP.. cheaper!! Somebody said the Declaration of Independence.... ... is written on HEMP parchment paper. Is this really true??? WOW. And yet that SAME GOVERNMENT passed a law making it restrictive or illegal to grow! Talk about Hypocrisy!!! "Oh,.. but Dr. John.. (I mean WISE CHOICE)".....People Smoke it and it KILLS BRAIN CELLS IN MONKEYS!!!" ?? --In a PIG's EYE!! Did you ever find out about that "government report" and how they arrived at those "findings"??? Any body ever bother to research it and see it??? --Didn't think so. Just swallow the government line... hook,..line,..and sinker!!! They GASSED the darn monkeys to death while withholding OXYGEN.!!! The poor babies died of asphyxiation, suffocation and NO OXYGEN!!! The brain cells died!!! But let's just bite into "Government Reports" like CANDY!!! Why bother to THINK??!!! Let's not look at the fact that hemp can SOLVE a lot of medical problems INCLUDING it's positive affect on GLAUCOMA. Let't get an operation instead.! Let's not look at the fact... which AMA LOBBYISTS know VERY well... that HEMP would cut into PROFITS. The BIG PHARMA would suffer sustained losses!!! The PAPER Industry and TREE-Harvesting Industry LOBBYISTS know full-well, the affect HEMP would have on their respective industries!! BIG-TIME!! So do the LOBBYISTS who represent the CORN-4-FUEL industry,...The COTTON industry, the TOBACCO .... ... don't EVEN get me started on THAT bunch!!! SHOW me the FIRST report that CONCLUSIVELY PROVES that HEMP ... EVA' caused ANY-body to get CANCER!! SHOW ME!!! --Because the Jury is IN on TOBACCO!!! "What are your saying Dr.John/ I mean Wise-Choice???" Simply this!!: You can manufacture "facts" all DAY that don't prove a darned THING!!! --Like the Government does.! But if people want to be gullible enough, and don't want to study the REAL motives behind an issue, then the "BIG GOV" is going to KEEP duping people! So I come along and say,... all these wonderful women shouldn't have to suffer behind a shortage of good men.... and somebody gets sideways about it! Why??!! Because I honestly WRONG??? Or because my ideas stretch the religious stiff necks of a few bigots in the pulpit who sleep around ANYway??!! Anybody who has studied their history at ALL knows what I am saying is the truth. Before certain governments made laws forbidding it, it was practiced. If GOD was upset about it, he NEVA' would have let JACOB get by with it!! The Twelve TRIBES?? C'mon!! REALITY-TIME. We'll look at David, Solomon,.. Gideon (67 of 'em).. and we haven't even cracked the pages of the good book YET!!! You better be ON IT if you want to argue THIS one.! Don't you get it?? It's about the government CENSUS! It didn't USED to be that way in AMERICA!!! But then,.. until Lobbyist PAY-OFFS.. HEMP was legal. No,.. I don't smoke. (psst... the cookies are BETTER). But we have got to get REAL!!! We need to repent in HONESTY!! Inflation is a BIG-GOVERNMENT THANG!! The BIG GOV and BIG PHARMA and BIG AMA and BIG BUSINESS are all in the sack TO-GETH-A..!!! LOOK.. --THE KING AIN'T GOT NO CLOTHES!! Open your EYES! STOP saying we (white-folks) didn't do our BLACK HEBREW BROTHER a DESPOTIC WRONG... AND we are ... God help us,... STILL DOING IT!!! You stick it to him in his economic REAR... then wonder why he HATES you when he sees you coming... let alone when you take his BLACK WOMEN!!! See I LOVE the Black WOMAN!! But I ALSO love my BROTHA!!! And you Brothers KNOW it!!! DANG!!! I'm TIRED of seeing the jails crowded with you!!! I'd give my LIFE to change that!!! I LOVE you!!! Tell me it makes sense that 76% of the crimes are done by what?? 3% of the population?? Okay?? I know my figures are not accurate.. and you can help me get it right;... but you know what I am saying!!! The percentages just don't add UP!!! ---Now,... back to my precious DEE-WHIZZ and Lovely Ms. TAKEinitALL,... You ladies know I love you. And you know I'd do anything in the world for you. But if you were white (instead of BLACK)... I assure you that "friends is all we would EVA' be". I am the humble KING to my BLACK QUEEN!! And I know how and when to submit to your authority; and I RESPECT and HONOR your in your throne of my heart! No other woman will ever take your place or my love. A white woman??? Her great-great grand-daddy may may have been a slave-owner, just like MINE may have been!! I'm not proud of that but I admit it! But show me a woman (or man) with a black heritage that stems from the West and Central regions of AFRICA about 6 generations ago or more.... .. I almost GUARANTEE you that I'm looking at a Hebrew Descendant of King David or Solomon or his high Court!!! And I can by-golly back it up!!!!! So of COURSE I want to marry ROYALTY!!! EVERY great biblical HERO who was (provably) married,.. no matter WHAT culla' he was... married BLACK!!!! He may have had a light-skinned wife too... maybe three or twenty-three! But I'll double-guarantee you ... YOU CAN"T PROVE that the BEST ones weren't BLACK.! And if you think I'm WRONG... I'll admit it!! But you CAN'T;... because they WERE. History proves it!! ESTHER was BLACK. DEBORAH was BLACK. RUTH was BLACK. ABIGAIL was BLACK. BATHSHEBA was BLACK. RACHAEL was BLACK. MOSES' WIFE was BLACK. BET me that EVE wasn't BLACK!!! MARY-the-MOTHER OF JESUS... come'on,.. Church!!! Somebody needs to SHOUT right about.. HERE.! I haven't even touched the surface yet!! And it REALLY gets rich when you see all the BLACK MEN!!! But I said all this to say... this is the REASON I won't settle for anyone LESS than my BLACK QUEEN! And why SHOULD I??? Because it isn't POPULAR??? When have you EVER known me to worry about cutting across the grain of popularity to get to the bottom line of TRUTH... no matter WHO it hair-lips??!!! I don't give a flying THUMB-NAIL about being in favor with religiosity and sanctimonious traditional beliefs!! By Golly, if it's right, then it's RIGHT!! Help me out here!! Jesus turned water into WINE.. but (you) can't HAVE none!!! Here goes the grape-juice fairy-tale!! I can hear it now! IT was Wine..! When have you EVER heard of a Jewish WEDDING Feast, where they served.. "grape-juice"???? REALLY!!! And they called Jesus a WINE-imbiber.! GRAPE-JUICE?? So ... give me my BLACK QUEEN... I love you better if your BLACK.! At least I KNOW I've got a-hold of ROYALTY!! Let's make a fortune... just being REAL. I am ONLY the mate of a BLACK woman! PERIOD. --and.. that's all I've got to say about it. I know I stepped on toes and I'll hear about it. That's okay. That's my take on it. I LOVE you. (And you truly KNOW it). Sincerely, Wise Choice. And lest I offend a lighter-skinned lady,... I can show you YOUR biblical roll-models also. AND... a WHALE of a lot of BLACK MEN!!!! WHALE??? Did I mention JONAH ??? WOW!!! What a story THAT one is!! The BLACK man that turned WHITE!!! Interested?? W.C. . . f you were of an ethnicity that I know I do not respond well to. because I KNOW that I am drawn very naturally

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  28.   Blkprinc47 says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 09

    I came to the site to meet woman of all ethnic groups - its just another site that I use to meet intersting people. Unfortuantely I continue to run into the same ignorance here regarding black men as I do off line from both black and white women. It seems some woman continue to generalize all black men based on there own sad past pathetic choices (you chose him, slept with him, had kids by him - blame yourself not me). It gets tiresome hearing that black men only pursue career choices that involve sports and entertainment. Seems odd considereing ther are more black male millionaires outside of these two areas than black women millionaires. I don't think we could have gotten there without being intelligent.

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  29.   Member says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 09

    . @ Mr.Homesteader: Thank you Sir; for your wise advice. I appreciate the way you always say comforting things to people who are reaching out. You are always encouraging. @ Precious DeeWhizz: Dee,... Honey you know I think the world of you. I say that in front of the whole world and I know you well enough to say it to you and mean it!!! But I have to tell you a fact you may not like: If you were white,... I honestly wouldn't think of you as any more than a friend. I truly mean that. I realize that you are indeed a beautiful woman; Skin color has little impact on your natural, very attractive and breath-taking physical perfection. Who would fail to notice your innate qualities; irregardless of color or ethnicity?? I am sure that even other women study you with certain awe. You are witty and ingenious, creative, inventive, and willing to think outside the box of tradition when it comes to the ways of love /relationship. You're a dedicated lady, committed to home, kids and a man who could support, love and respect you; and recognize your need to be responsively sassy. You are a wonderful lady, a fantastic flirt and a perfect companion for a man who can keep up with your charming ways and not get jealous or selfish. ..but ... as much as I admire you...and you know it,... I would never entertain a relationship with you... --never even think of you other than a friend.... ...unless you were Black. My desire for a Black mate is that deeply ingrained in me. I love your intelligence. But I also love your ethnicity. I know;... you can tell me you are mixed with all sorts of races; and I know that it's true. But to me, it is your rich Black heritage that attracts me. You and I have become great friends. Who knows where it might lead, eventually? --Well,..provided that you and (TakinitALL) can keep getting along. (You KNOW she asked me to marry her, over in the blog on "Saviors or Manipulators" I posted her a long "acceptance speech". I'm awaiting a reply. (smile). If I were married to either-or-both of you (yeah, rrrRight!!) I would INSIST that you stay on this site because I LIKE a wife who flirts with the guys!! Hey,... who knows??? Laws are changing. We might get back to Pre-Roman-Era biblically correct marital standards YET.! Is is wrong?? I'm not Mormon..... ... not looking to become anything like it. But if it's so WRONG,... how come the twelve tribes of Israel came out of FOUR women and ONE husband?? Oh,... and did I tell you that Rachael was BLACK? Perhaps either of the servant-wives were also. But Rachael DEFINITELY was a black woman. Ask me and I will explain all that. But suffice it to know that her two SONS were black: Joseph and Benjamin. Joseph married a BLACK Pharaoh Princess. His two sons, Ephraim and Manasseh were BLACK. They were blessed by Jacob to take the inheritance of Joseph;.. who became 2nd to the Egyptian Pharaoh. So,... if you know nothing ELSE,.. you KNOW that These three tribes were BLACK: Ephraim, Manasseh and Benjamin. You can't get away from the truth. So,... is an extended family actually WRONG?? or is it just culturally and socially incorrect? Look at all the single women wanting a good man! Is THAT "culturally and socially" acceptable?? Don't you think something ought to get back to common sense;... when you can SEE it's not working? Families can't make it on TWO incomes today!! TELL me what would it hurt?? I DARE you!! TELL me! You know I'm right even if you don't like it!! And you can play church til the cows come home and it STILL won't wash.!! But if you don't like THAT attitude... you will HATE me when I tell you this: There is NO reason to OUTLAW f you were of an ethnicity that I know I do not respond well to. because I KNOW that I am drawn very naturally

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  30.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 09

    WiseChoice ; Enjoy ! stay on these Blog topics / many will see your thoughts . Few may agree / Only 1 is Required to fill your Dream . Believe , time and only time will make the difference . Everyday I see others talk the talk online , I am Retired with totally no restrictions on my personal time . Yet , I always wonder why most of these conversations on Blog topics are continuously History related or color motivated . We are all Grown people / here on this site for the same Joyful Results . True Love after contact has to be Earned by two people who give 100% of themselves to make it work . My opinions are just my opinions / yet I do knot sleep alone any longer and when I travel , My Wife travels with me , Hehe . " If " will remain the Largest word in life .

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  31.   deewhizz says:
    Posted: 06 Dec 09

    @Wise, I know how u feel but we've talked, would I be less attractive REAALLY 2 u if I were white even after knowing me? I only ask because I'm pretty sure my most significant relationships outside my race(I've dated brothers 2) were men who did have any preference for blk women or ever displayed any until they met me. Because there was something about me that transcended their normal "comfort zone". Not that they might never have dated a blk woman otherwise. (I seem 2 only get serious w/ open-minded intellectually curious men whatever their color) but I prefer "hot" guyz who definitely wouldn't have to look too far 4 a woman and I assumed by their looks that they preferred the classic model of American beauty, the large breasted small waisted blue-eyed blonde but I was happy to be completely mistaken!! And wise, what if I was a lovely chocolate SHREW of a woman? Would u still feel the same? :)

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  32.   CanadianGC says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 09

    Using a poll based on percentages of who contacts whom, makes no sense. Does not take into consideration the fact that the person who initiated the contact my not even be close to what the recipient has stated as their preference in their profile. from those who have contacted me first, I would say 90% appear to not have read my profile in regards to my preferences. Why would I reply??? Just to say thank you but not interested. The only reason I may not initiate contact are that distance and age, Location is important because of my schedule. Age I couldn't care about but leave it to the female if she is looking for an older man. I am surprised from black females I have met from just everyday life that they tell me white guys aren't attracted to them or are scared of approaching them. I don't know the answer but glad that I'm not one of those white guys.

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  33.   MissJamaica says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 09

    Okay some of you women are not thinking. If black men are approaching you on the site as a black woman despite having other races on their profile...that says that maybe they take it for granted that people know they like their own race and are specifying, since this IS an interracial site, what OTHER races in addition to the obvious one of their own, they want. I almost left off black men in my profile because i thought it was obvious...then realized how biased it would look and just put all ethnicities. You should then realize if black men try to talk to you on here that maybe it's not black women they run from but the types of black women they tend to encounter...if a black man approaches you here that's a good thing, it says he is openminded without feeling the need to turn his back on his own kind to do so. Strangely enough, the first and only man I met off here was a black man. I thought to myself i was defeating my own purpose but you know what, our first date was church...and then lunch out after. It didn't work out and i am not even sure why...but it was definitely a guy like any you would meet in real life. I have met a real person off another site that is not about race and not about blacks, just regular...and that guy was white, from europe. He seemed to want sex too fast though, but i was not his first black female (we didn't sleep together, just date), and i get the feeling he moves so fast on sex because the black women he dated in the past all let him move that fast. I mean like first and second date sex fast. I have no rule as to when but i wasn't ready for that with him then. If it's true what you guys are saying that the white men mostly want to experiment...then that's a shame. Guess I should tell you all to register on more than one site so you don't end up putting all your eggs in one basket...

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  34.   Tiina says:
    Posted: 04 Dec 09

    We are talking about Black and White interracial couplings, but, what about Asian male and Black female couplings? Any stats, stories, interests there?

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  35. Posted: 04 Dec 09

    "Black women are the best respondents. They are more likely to reply to a first message from another member. However, they get the fewest replies. In essence, all races single them out (sad as it is to say) - even black men." That's such a shame. But at least it shows we're a lot nicer than the popular stereotype would like to people to believe.

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  36.   Member says:
    Posted: 03 Dec 09

    @ homesteader: Thank you, sir, for your encouragement. I have met wonderful friends here,... and I am so in favor of supporting this site and it's affiliates. It would be such a joy if I could eventually join the ranks of those who have found life-mates here. I'm not the kind of man who does "single" very well. I honestly have a very "married" heart... for someone. Dating around is not my thing. Save it for others who like that sort of lifestyle. Me? Gimme a wife-4-life! Granted;... like anyone else,.. I do have specific qualities that I desire to find in a mate; and it isn't unreasonable. And I do believe the woman is QUEEN.... so I don't treat her "like" a QUEEN;... but respect her AS my QUEEN. BIG, BIG, Difference.! But then, Homesteader,... you know that. On the other hand, if a woman (of ANY color, race, etc.,) doesn't have a true queenly bearing... well you know...... It's pretty hard to treat someone with dignity they don't even try to measure up to.... (but want to be treated royally). That's about the same as a man wanting to be treated in a way befitting a KING;.... but operating way below his station. It just isn't worthy. I don't have any desire to go to the dumpster to find a well-prepared meal;... and am sure it would not be there. So, likewise I don't feel any compunction to settle for less than true royalty-of-heart, when seeking a mate. I want a (TRUE) QUEEN.!~ Skin-tone (light or dark) is not an issue; nor is weight, body-style, size, height, age or origin ethnicity (as long as she's BLACK). More than anything else, I am looking for the virtues of the heart. It's what I offer;.. and don't see any reason to settle for less returned. Mr. Homesteader, I am very honored to make your acquaintance; I feel you are an excellent example of what can successfully happen. I never thought I would join a dating site to find romance. But this site makes a lot of sense to me. It's a quality site. There are other things I never thought I would ever do (or do again). Like joining an all-black band,... doing events of all kinds;... all that. But recently I was asked if I would become a agent/member of a band... they have a great sound; need better promotion and so on.... They are all black members... and I don't know why they picked on me exactly.... but I hope I have the acumen needed for this. I do play lead guitar, back-up, keyboard and things like that.. and I love music. Plus, I sing, harmonize and write music.... In addition to my publishing business and journalistic work, I do contract negotiation for a local firm as a legal administrator. Being a journalist, graphic designer, seminar speaker, hopefully I can help them get a few new "gigs" and help market them at least. But I never thought my life would ever take all that and meld it into an adventure of this kind. But God knows what is the right course. Perhaps in all that,... I can add new faces to this site .... I know I will encourage all the guys to join.... and any ladies I may meet too. Mr. Homesteader, I'm saying that I know you have to bring something of quality to the table that's worth what you want to carry away. I see so many of the women on here... (NOT ALL,.. thank God)... who think if they bring their "body" it is enough to attract a good man. Maybe I'm wrong. Perhaps that's what people settle for these days. But I think there is much more to a woman than simply "that". Am I wrong?? Am I asking too much,.. to believe a woman can offer more than a pretty face and a body and all those surface things ?? Is that really all they think good men are after??? Why can't somebody just be .... a QUEEN.?? A REAL one.! Show genuine character. Come to the negotiating table with something between their EARS.... Not just between their thighs.... ( no matter how good I KNOW it must be). But intelligence counts. Honesty counts. I can deal with a woman who is screen-dating a few other men;.... I'm not jealous or controlling.... I like a woman to have a certain flirt about her that attracts admiration. I'm open minded in a lot of ways like that; and have no problem there. But honesty is important. Keep it up-front where we both know the score. I can deal with a flirtatious woman just fine. But be real with ME about it. I know a lot of men wouldn't touch that;... insecurities or whatever.... or dogmatic control issues..... But I know you understand my drift. Women are gonna be "women" in front of you or behind your back.... or in the back of their minds (while you THINK they're thinking about YOU). So why not keep it real so everyone can be on the same page? Why play a dishonest game? What's wrong with just getting it out in the open?? A lot of us men would rather have it straight up;.... so we can be on the same page with out mate and keep the marriage/relationship HOT. Well..... That's MY take! Thanks for hearing me out. Sincerely Wise Choice...! .

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  37.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 02 Dec 09

    NoPlayer ; Women and Men are all just Individuals / each has their own needs and Desires in Daily life . You talk of others / you in totally no knowledge of how each has to maintain their lifestyle to Survive day by day . Inorder to make themselves Happy . When my flaws are of a problem / she tells me of them and I try to correct them . When my prior relationships ended / I searched my soul and saw the errors of my ways , I did knot place the blame on any other person Save Myself . My wife and I met here online , her profile stated 72 years old in December of 2006 . She looked Magnificent to me and in March of 2007 / We started talking on the telephone for hours Daily . My ex-co-driver was Recovering from an almost Stroke in February of 2007 , I allowed her to rest in my spare bedroom [ I cooked cleaned and Catered to her needs - she was my friend for over 6 years ] and while I was out walking away from the house - They would get on the telephone , sometimes for over an hour at a time . Alas all my Bad points got told behind my back . Hehe . By April 2007 , we had decided to go for it / she arrived on the 7th and we married on the 10th after going to the County-Clerks office to get Legal Documents . She had checked me out Thoroughly / as far as she wanted to . She had talked to a Ladie who had known me for over 6 years . We did knot start as a Perfect match / we get better everyday because we talk and agree to disagree . Yet being Adults makes this easy . God gives you life eternal / only if you are worthy and work for him . We all are born equal with faults / Love is when two people Desire to work together to allow it to grow . I will sign off M.W.M. / Happy with life as it comes to Us .

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  38.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 09

    Wise Choice ; I searched 5 years here and Success came to me because / I stayed with it . Go for it / it shall come for you Too .

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  39.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 09

    . Hello;.. Just a note, based on comments by takinitall, Smiling_g and deewhizz. --- I understand your points of view and basis for conclusion. And no doubt your viewpoints are very valid, based on your own experiences; to which no one has the right to dispute; nor would I even try. Your points are very well taken;... and I'm sure millions of people all over the internet community agree with you in tacit. Your stance is very valid. I just would like to assure you that there ARE men who prefer to date black women exclusively. Yet, then again, some just don't care about color. For them, it's really all about the PERSON they are relating to; and "color" plays a very minor or insignificant roll in their dating preference. Then ... there are men like... (yours-truly). That kind (speaking for myself) are "color-CONSCIOUS"; ..while others are, in many respects, "color-BLIND". Let me explain please. A color-blind man... is like a guy that doesn't care if you use Worcestershire sauce or Heinze57 on his steak; as long as it's medium-rare. He likes his steak a certain way, regardless of the garnishing. Slop the sauce on the darned steak and just serve it; for gosh sakes! He's hungry for steak.! ---I'm not saying he's not picky. He probably is, in most cases;... but in the end... he just wants a belly full of steak. Who cares if the sauce is Chinese.!!! If the steak is good, he's satisfied. End-of-Story!! It could be Mexican steak, Guatemalan, Ecuadorian, German or Portuguese, Martian or Plutonian! Who cares?! Just give the guy some STEAK!!! Any brand of sauce!! Serve it on any kind of dinnerware from a paper plate or fry-pan-lid to fine china. I doesn't care anyway. A woman is a woman!!! Who cares where she comes from or what nationality or color of her skin-deep flesh??!! He just wants a good date.! --Like a steak; --one more meal.!! Well, Okay. That's crass; I admit. But you get the point. He will TELL you that skin-color doesn't matter but his choices in women may tell you another story. Now a color-conscious man, in my opinion, is very very different in his approach to who he dates or marries. He honestly DOES care about nuances and uniqueness.! He has his preferences... sometimes they are even quite exclusive. He knows EXACTLY what he desires and won't settle for anyone less than his expectations demand. He will commit!! By all the Angels and Saints, he will stand beside you at the alter and put a ring on you... and he really MEANS it when he says "I DO"; -for REAL. He may or may not be so inclined or concerned about the intonation of your beautiful brown color; although he's clearly aware of it. But he IS..."color conscious"! By that, I mean,... while he isn't prejudiced AGAINST any other color,... he maintains that the ONLY woman for him,.. is a BLACK woman!! Regardless of "shade". He KNOWS that no other kind of woman satisfies him; He KNOWS that he is uniquely designed and qualified to serve the needs of only ONE woman on earth; = BLACK. He will smile at others but not take their flirts as seriously;... because he KNOWS where he fits in life; ----and that's at the side of his BLACK QUEEN.! You could try to turn him on... with erotic movies or anything else... but unless it involves a BLACK woman,.... forget it!!! It's not happening!! PERIOD!! He IS... TRULY, "color-conscious". And if not BLACK, -then BROWN,..YELLOW,..RED or WHITE! But what EVER he's "into"... he's EXCLUSIVE!! I can't... and wouldn't try (as I said,) to speak for anyone else but (yours-truly). Everyone is welcome to their own take on this. But for (me) I know what works. I am the exclusive mate of a BLACK QUEEN. That's it! --End-of-Story. Not even lookin' an' not even interested in anyone else! Stop right THERE. So,... others can say race doesn't matter if they want to believe that. But (for me) I know better. It DOES matter very MUCH to me. I won't date or marry another. See,... what you've got to realize,.. is that some of us white-guys gave up a lot of "white-privilege" when we made the choice to cross the color-line. It COST us. Some of us,... gave up a LOT.. including job promotions and influential friends... even careers... because we dared to cross that (very REAL) color-line. Oh,... I know;... the media and politicians and church leaders say it isn't so. But if you haven't been-there and done-that,... you just plain don't know!!! Some of us have been severely injured because we dared to stand with our Black Brothers and "Sistas". Again, ya jus' don't know;... unless you've been there. Some of us have said "good-bye" to blood-family, and left all our formal family ties,... to stand beside a woman of "culla" whom we love with all our hearts!! So... when WE make a claim,... to love a Black Queen and take her to our own flesh,... you better believe it's real LOVE; -- not some kind of romantic "fling". The percentage of divorce between a white man and a black woman is the lowest in the WORLD; so I'm told. Geeezzz--- I wonder why?? And when a divorce DOES happen... DAMNnnn.. we hate it! We gave up EVERYTHING,... a lot of times... to make it work.!! Took so much S*** and STILL stuck with it!! But.... S*** happens sometimes and there's nothing a man can do about it! -- Like,... when a black wife decides to go TOTALLY gay...???!! Whadda-ya-DOoooh ?? But that STILL doesn't stop us from believing that SOMEWHERE in the world, there is a BLACK WOMAN who actually knows how to appreciate a good committed man! And there really ARE some of us,.... who are committed to you;... willing to live and give their very lives to serve you in every way... and love you EXCLUSIVELY.! WE REALLY DO EXIST.! Very truly yours, Wise Choice. .

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  40.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 01 Dec 09

    @ takinitall - "We search all things and hold on to that which is true" That quote from the Bible came from the writiings of Paul, I believe. "Wise Choice help a brother out if I'm wrong!" LOL I find it funny that as humans we safe guard everything but our hearts and minds. We have an alarm for the house and the car, we buy insurance for our material possesions and we're careful about who we allow acess to those items. Should it not be any different with our hearts. I find it strange that we can manage every other area of our lives but when it comes to romance and dating many of us are helpless. We fall for any old line, we fail to ask people to "put up or shut up", and we take everything at face value and then we get mad when people turn out different than we thought they were. I learned a thing or two about women by going with my mother to the meat market, I notice before she bought meat or fish she'd carefully inspect and examine it. She'd ask the sales person to take it out of the case, place it on the counter she'd look at it, smell it and then ask the person to turn the meat over and she'd do the same thing over again. One day I ask her why she made such a fuss over the meat and she said, "son, people will sale you anything if you're willing to buy it, so you have to make sure they don't sale you anything that aint worth your money!" I learned to trust but verify, how to choose and not take anything thats offered to me and I learn to pay attention to the details. I applied what I learned from watching my mother shop to dating and selecting a mate and it has not failed me so far. I can honestly say my failed relationships with women were a result of something I failed to catch on to in the beginning, the signs were there I just failed to pick up on them. As human we're victoms of our humanity, meaning we're incomplete and flawed. We bring these defects into our relationships rather we know it or not and we just have to search out which flaws we can accept in a partner and which ones we cant. I've had my share or heartbreak and ache at the hands of BW, I've been a fool more than once, you know when you thought you were sharing only to find you'd been taking, yeah been there and had it do to me! LOL Did it hurt, hell yeah, but mama always said love is a contact sport and if you cant take the hits, you shouldn't play. Even in my pain I was lucky that I was not blinded by my pain and I could see and understand that, it wasn't about the women being bad or no good, it was a matter of me making a bad choice in that one particlar women, nothing more or less. My sister and friend, I know the condition of our people, many of us are not emotionally healthy, we're hurt, traumatized and confused. Many of us are not whole by a long shot and this shows up in our relationships both BM and BW. As many times as I've been hurt by sistersI could never look harshly apon BW because I understand the bigger picture and I just learned to be more careful and not select someone that's not emotionally ready for a relationship. All and all BW have been good to me even outside of romance and I love them just because, no reason needed, so try to look beyond your hurt and disappointment and try not to judge us (YOUR MEN)too harshly! We're in need of the same healing and the need to be made whole as many of our women are, keep that in mind. Just saying what I feel!

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  41.   deewhizz says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    Some of the posts here have been far different than my experience in many respects. Its interesting but I don't know if I would like to be just a new thrill 4 someone because I'm different(which of course I'm not, color is only skin deep) I've never had a white partner that only dates women of other races. In fact, because I'm all up in a man's business b4 we r together(I believe in a rigorous screening process LOL) And it goes FAR deeper than skin color life is too short! But not one of the white men I've had serious relationships with (I'm just going to stick with the marriage proposals here) had been with a black woman in a serious relationship b4 or after me. I know they haven't after, because in addition to my husband of 7yrs (who normally prefers blondes or "black Irish",that's what my friend from Ireland calls it, it's very dark hair w/ ice blue eyes) And I cant argue with him on that one, it's a gorgeous combo! I am still in touch w/ the men who proposed to me so I know who they're with and they went bk to the blondes too in both cases. One blew 10yrs of his life w/ a crraayzee redhead but that's another topic :) I don't know why but I'm never able to completely jettison anyone I've had such a serious relationship with, they just become friends and we have a deep caring and respect for each other. But I was never into casual relationships, maybe that weeded out the "experimenters" because I was just too much of a pain 2 pursue just 2 "try it out" so 2 speak :)

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  42.   Smiling_g says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    The heart wants what the heart wants. I'm just glad I have the opportunity to go after it. I believe most on this site came here because we all have an attraction to people outside our race. Here I feel comfortable knowing there a those who feel as strongly about the topic as I do. Remember, there are some places in the world that a persons parents would kill them for being on a site like this, really! I've met many guys on this site, one that's even become kinda special; I had to weed through the jerks but hey, if that's what I need to do to find the reward in the end then that's what I need to do. My heart wants what my heart wants.

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  43.   Member says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    . Good Morning..Everyone...! Heck,.. I just want to say that ... I can't and wouldn't attempt to define anyone else's position on this subject... It really is (that) complex. But as for me,... I'me VERY ready to "COMMIT" and I have an extremely FAITHful heart toward my mate. I love with an intensity that stops my breath.! I can ONLY be satisfied.. my desire to be a life partner,... my willingness to be all I can become in order to please my wife.... in "commitment"! When I hear comments like,.. "men won't commit", it really touches me at the core of my soul. --I JUST DON'T FEEL THAT WAY!!! I really don't! --I DESIRE COMMITMENT.! I WANT a woman who wants commitment also. I can deal with the kids, the drama,.. the over-indebtedness, the weight and all. That stuff doesn't bother me at all. I KNOW HOW to love a woman... enjoy and appreciate her size and allow her to feel self-conscious about "looks". I find that soooh much of the time, women seem to be hung-up on .."STUFF". "What-ja-GOT??" I'm so sorry;.. but that is SUCH a turn-off..!! GeeeZzz!! See,... I've been through it with women who want a man's possessions and love him for what he can give her materially and alll that ...STUFFFFF...!! Are there any real women with a head on their lovely shoulders,... who understand what I'm saying? Where is a woman with a strong motivation to achieve?? THAT'S what turns me "on".! Give me a woman with POTENTIAL... who can SEE potential and is willing to reach for it together with her committed MATE. Let's share life COMPLETELY. I'll peel potatoes. I'll help (or do) the laundry and household chores so that YOU... have more (time and energy) for ME.! I'm a rascal.! I can require a LOT. I love to hold hands... kiss in public... show you off and let others notice you (and your features).... I'm not jealous at all...and it doesn't bother me one bit,.. for you to get compliments from others. -- What you DO about it of course,.. we'll talk about it. Yes,... I did say that. But I LIKE men to notice my wife /life-mate. I think that's very sexy when my mate gets lots of attention in pleasing ways. I'm not jealous about it a bit, and welcome it. But--- for being as open-minded as you need me to be,... I am a man of Commitment. I want YOU ONLY. I don't need to flirt behind your back. I don't need to get approval or kudos from any other female and I have no desire to chase anyone but YOU ONLY. Where-the-heck ARE you??? I'm not age or race conscious,... except that I ONLY desire a black wife. If that's prejudiced,... then ... oh well.! But I KNOW I am the future husband of ONE Black Woman who has the good sense to pick a great guy based on qualities superseding his material wealth. That has NEVER worked out for me... and it gets so boring after awhile. I don't ask my wife to work outside the home unless it is withing her desire. We can make it without her wearing herself out, trying to help pay the bills. I just want her to be a partner in life; whatever we're blessed with. I want her to roll over in the morning and kiss me without feeling like she has to go freshen up first. I want to be the one to turn out the bedroom light. I want to fix her Calgon Bath water and spray her towels with perfume... tune the bathroom radio to soft and slow jazz... and put the wind by the side. GODDDD!!!! HOW I want to take care of my woman!! But where is a lady who wants a man of commitment? They TALK it,... but... they want STUFF; not Love. And a man FEELs it when a woman wants him for his STUFF... She's not fooling him... He sees right through her! And THAT KILLS love and deep affection in a man.!!! Want a sure way to make your husband lose his deep childlike love for you??? Show him his STUFF is more important than his TOUCH. ---That'll do it!! Frankly,... there are a LOT of internet dating sites... and beautiful people flock to them all, I'm sure. But I am HERE...because I want a wife from this site. I hung my hat (here) because I believe that MY WIFE is somewhere on THESE PAGES. I'm tired of looking. I DON"T want to play "games" or serial-date, etc.. Can't anybody hear me? I NEED my black companion. I'M WILLING to be committed for life to a loving relationship. Somewhere there MUST be a match. Large breasts and a pretty face aren't enough!! Bring me some BRAINS.! I love intelligence!! I like a smart woman,.. a bit flirtatious & fun.. One who is willing to try new things... that are new to BOTH of us... someone with a sense of industry.... Spiritual-but-not- ... you know...! I love the LORD but I have no patience for the "church-n-the-box" mentality of religious INCorporation. The LORD took a whip to it in the temple and so do I. If they were RIGHT, they would AGREE and they DON'T. Sorry,.. but "the King Ain't Got No Clothes". The corporate church-shield is just to transparent. Show me LOVE... not denominationalism. I am on this site for LOVE;... and by-Jiminee I know my INTERRACIAL WIFE is on THESE pages on this site. So... I don't know what all the talk of percentages means in the end,... I mean it's great for marketing. I'll use it to great advantage. Good Demographics. But when you move beyond "numbers" you've got to come back to the REAL reason we are all here. We need to be loved by someone special who loves us also. And for LOVE?? I'll make a commitment! By Godd I will! I didn't come here to waste my time with cat-n-mouse. Let the church say, AMEN.! Very sincerely, Wise Choice. . .

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  44.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    To Quote from my Life ; " I see way too much one-sided Alphabetizational use-age of terms in these blog topics comments / Leading me to Believe that it has a bunch of " BS " related to the effects talked about " . I was successful here and see no mention of my Heritage . Ladies all men are as Individual as you are . Love has to be Nurtured to grow for the nourishment of the act of Togetherness . Missouri is the Show-me-State on License tags / Texas on the other hand is " The Lone Star State " drive Friendly on Our roadsigns .

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  45.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    P.S. I fell asleep during the movie as did she . At 2:30 A.M. this morning I awoke to make fresh Black coffee and finish the Dishes and silverware from yesterdays meal . It was only Fair as she Prepared Thanksgiving Dinner and did those dishes . Life is a Partnership where both give 100% .

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  46.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Nov 09

    Boys ; Calm down a little / This man who married from this site. Last evening Cooked , Cleaned the Kitchen and did the dirt Pots , Pans , dishes and silverware / before placing a movie in the DVD player to watch while we ate . My wife did knot find a Richman here at this site / she found an intelligent man who can do housework / lawncare and tells her he Loves her many times each day . Money does not buy Happiness / My cooking and cleaning skills does .

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  47.   honeyflower says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 09

    To the blogers it would be nice to read more from other black men on this site, on why they're on a interacial dating site. I would love to know the reasons.

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  48.   honeyflower says:
    Posted: 29 Nov 09

    In our modern world--we have a plethora of options for communication. You can ring, ping, email, fax, text, post, comment, tweet, myspace, facebook or skype. Nearly anywhere you go--anytime you want--you can be logged on and dialed in. We are easily the most connected society in the history of mankind. Yet, despite our ability for constant contact, (or perhaps because of it) feelings of social isolation persist. Step 1 Stop comparing your life to the lives of others. Absolutely everything you "know" about others is based on assumptions of a partial picture. We can never really know what goes on inside the mind and heart of another person, because what we show to the world is an edited version of ourselves. You know how it is: we put on happy faces and rarely talk about our pain even with those who are closest to us; therefore, what we see of others is really an incomplete picture. Comparing the complete picture of your life (which, of course, only you see and experience every day) to the incomplete picture of another person's life is futile and stupid. Remember, just because you see a couple locked in a loving embrace doesn't mean they don't fight beyond closed doors. You cannot and should not judge the quality of your life based on what you see of the lives of your friends or stories you hear in the media. Step 2 Allow yourself to feel your feelings of loneliness. It is OK to feel lonely. Loneliness is not unique to you, nor is it proof that you are weird or a social outcast. Loneliness is a natural part of the human condition. When you feel loneliness, know that you are not alone. Hopefully, this will help you feel less lonely. Step 3 Find something you love to do and find a group of people who also love that thing and do it together on a regular basis. It really is that simple. Step 4 Be patient. Friendships and strong, fulfilling bonds take time to develop. Step 5 Volunteer to help people who have less than you do. Not only does helping people increase your opportunities to have meaningful social interactions, it also helps you to put your suffering into perspective. Step 6 Transform negative thoughts with gratitude. If you keep telling yourself things like, I am alone. Everybody rejects me, black men are like this, black women are like this" then your life will form to these thoughts, and you will create a socially isolated reality for yourself. You will look around and see only the things that reinforce your negative worldview. You will dwell on the person who ignores you ( eg black men ingnore me etc), while completely missing the three other people who smiled at you. Instead of allowing your negative thoughts to become you, be grateful for all that you do have and put your focus there. Step 7 Remember, emotions are like weather patterns passing through your mind. Just because you are lonely today, does not mean that you will be lonely tomorrow. Your future only resembles your past if you allow it to do so. Step 8 Get off the computer. Get out and start interacting with people. Right now! Surfing the web, reading blogs or sending email is not interacting with a person; it's interacting with a machine. If you feel socially isolated, you need to have more face-to-face interactions with other human beings.

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  49.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    @ melliot - I'm with you on this one! In the dating game it's cost women time and men money and we all know time is a given, while money is earned! @ The rest of the ladies - It boils down to my being willing to share what I have to share with a woman. A woman that I'm in a committed relationship with is entitled to all I have within my means to provide for her but a woman that I'm only going out with is only entitled to respect, movie & a meal and good conversation! LOL Just as I make sacrifices to go out with a woman, I'd expect her to make a few, such as paying for a baby sitter for her children. Maybe this is why I didn't do too much dating back in the day! If a woman couldn't respect the fact that I worked hard for my money and I made wise choices for spending my money then this woman wasn't worth my time. This explains why many women don't make good choices in picking good men. If you see a man is working hard, taking care of his obligations such as: helping his mother out every now and then, paying his child support if he has children and supporting himself, this should speak volumes for his character. Something should tell you, "this is a responsible man, he honors his committments and he backs up his words with action." Is this not the very thing BW complain about us as BM? His actions would prove that he's not a childish or selfish man and he can and will shoulder responsibility! Is this not what BW say they want in a man? Some women miss the forest for looking at the tress! Women get knocked out by a man willing to spend a little money for their intertainment but a man doesn't need character to spend money. I can spend my money on you and still be a liar, a cheat and a dodger of responsibility. My wiliingness to spend my money on you only means I have money to spend but it says nothing of my potential to be a good mate or do you foolishly assume I'll be a good mate because I'm willing to spend money? Let's get real, this aint about a lack of good BM this is about some women not knowing how to find and wisely select the good ones from amongst the bad ones. Women allow a man to select them instead of them selecting the man. They fail to analyze, to study and carefully observe the man that they form relationships with. These men don't turn out to be dogs in the end, they were dogs from the start and these women failed to pick up on it! They were looking at everything but the right thing and the most important thing! Somehow they get knocked out by the nice car, the flashy clothes and his ability to provide a good time but missed the qualities that showed him to be a good man. As a young man on the dating scene more than a few women called me cheap but I was disciplined with my money, I was looking beyond a good time at the moment and I was focussed on long-term stability and security for me and the woman that I might have married. It wasn't always about wining and dinning a women, hell I was focussed on trying to secure a home so that me and this women might be able to sit at our own kitchen table and enjoy a home cooked meal, that's where my mind was at. Some of these women passed me up for drug dealers and high rollers, the legal and illegal type. As a young man this really hurt me and I talked with my aunt about how I was feeling and she told me, "baby keep your eyes on the prize and go after what I want in this life and don't worry about these silly women, go out and get yourself together and you'll never have to run after women because they'll run after you!" She didn't lie about that one! Long story short, I left all their asses back in N. St. Louis, Mo. and for 14 years I've been living a life that many of them crave at this very moment: the security, stability, being able to travelling around the world and have a good husband, they let that slip away from them. Until women learn how to carefully select man and make a wise decision to form or avoid a relationship with a man, she'll continue to make bad choices in men from all ethnic groups or have some of you grown to believe that liars, cheats, dead beats, and bums are exclusively found amongst BM? Woman-Up and take responsibility for your own bad choices in men. Learn to see value in you, love yourself and stop looking for this validation and affirmation from men, that's part of the reason why many women keep falling for these bums. Some of you are so hungry for love you put with foolishness for the sake of having a man and after you get so fustrated you start thinking that it's something wrong with one group of men and you go for another group of men only to run into the same foolishness in a more refined form but it's still foolishness! I'll close with a quaote from my grandmama, "just because people shouldn't steal don't mean you should leave your house door wide open when you leave to go to work!" Ladies think on that!

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  50.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    20 % is the going rate for tipping / Got two Antique trucks - Fords and another soon enough to become Antique . Along with Our Chevy motorhome . Retired from Driving years ago / Yet still Licensed - Class AM . Big Rig and Motorcycle . " Gimme 40 acres to turn this thing around " Red Sovine music from the 50's . Chauffeur Driven transportation / seems so cheap to have to drive oneself . Before Retirement from Professional Safe Driving ; my company truck / 2000 model W900L Kenworth was worth $ 168,000.00 and I looked down on them Foreign Vehicles , everyday LOL . and someone Paid me to Sightsee the U.S.A. ( 48 States ) and Canada from high above the Highway . Bluejeans and A-shirt , Pearl buttons on dress shirt , Leather Vest and shiney shoes . Happy because of this site . Amen

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