Chronic pyjama wearing good for relationships?

Posted by Ria, 12 Nov 08

Familiarity in relationships: Is it good (signifying intimacy) or bad (complacency)

Some new poll claims romance lasts exactly two years, six months and 25 days. After this, couples stop trying and start wearing their night gowns during the day, leaving dirty laundry lying on the floor and disregarding their wedding anniversary.

Is this kind of untidiness what we call maturity?

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Well, John Sewell, spokesman for One Poll, the organization that conducted the poll points out that this kind of comfort is a type of intimacy, as a relationship advances from the honeymoon phase to a more settled-in partnership. Apparently, if you are comfortable enough to let your man see your make up free face, you are in the mature stage of your relationship where trying too hard to impress your partner becomes a thing of the past.

In his song "Comfortable", singer John Mayer agrees. It has lyrics like: "I loved you/grey sweat pants, no makeup/so perfect."

There is so much comfort in knowing that he wont break up with you coz you wore some tattered lingerie to bed or have smelly feet. That is the upside. However, getting too much into your comfort zone can turn into boredom and complacency, making a couple miss out on the romance and excitement of the new relationship.

We know everyone loves to relish the intimacy of a long-term relationship but try and fins a middle ground. Don’t be too comfortable to the point of not being able to enjoy the mystery and energy of a new relationship. Try finding a balance between feeling comfortable and taking each other for granted.

Are things too comfortable with your partner? Do you think familiarity is good for relationships? How much is acceptable? How do you do to keep romance alive?

4 responses to "Chronic pyjama wearing good for relationships?"

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  1.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 05 May 09

    Maybe I'm the exception that proves the rule, but then the women with whom I have had that length of a relationship are exceptions as well. I'll count my blessings even more for having known those exceptional few. I love to romance my partner. That doesn't mean that I can't be myself. I'm a romantic. Taking each other for granted ruins the romance not wearing comfortable (or no LOL) clothes. In my experience, if we left our clothes on the floor we were just in a hurry to get them off. I can't see anything wrong with that!! ;-) On the other hand, I have had several relationships that sort of petered out right around the 21/2 - 3 year mark, so maybe the poll Ria cites is on to something. I've also had several that lasted longer including a ten year marriage. I was with one woman for six and a half years. When we began to spend the night with each other on a regular basis, and when we lived together, she would come home from work or wherever we were, don a long black nightgown and get comfortable. They weren't always "sexy" lingerie nightgowns but I never complained. They looked very sexy on her. For my part, I would wear a pair of comfortable "inside" shorts, almost boxers of silk or light cotton and a shirt to lounge around the house, but she loved my legs, so she was happy. She would also wear that nightgown to bed and that certainly did nothing to quell my appetite, so to speak. However, I agree Kenyanito in that I seldom wear clothes to bed with a loved one. I don't even own pyjamas. On cold nights we have each other and blankets to keep us warm. As to forgetting anniversaries, birthdays, Valentine's Day and such, what is the sense of having a significant other if we can't make those days special? It's part of love (even if we have no ulterior motives). Never forget. NEVER forget.

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  2.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 08

    honestly why would one sleep in pyjama with a loved one? I find this demeaning and kind of disgusting..But this is just me

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  3.   bradaesop says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 08

    Yes I agree that wearing a pyjama or putting your dirty clothes on the floor do have sort of complacency that can be bad for a relationship. Taking something too far granted can be dangerous. This was one the reasons for my breakup from my big-boobed girl. She used to wear my shirt in the bed and used to sleep all day not caring aboout me.

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  4.   bradaesop says:
    Posted: 18 Nov 08

    Yes I agree that wearign a pyjama or putting your dirty clothes on the floor do have sort of complacency that can be bad for a relationship. Taking something too far granted can be dangerous. This was one the reasons for my breakup from by big-boobed girl. She used to wear my shirt in the bed and used to sleep all day not caring aboout me.

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