Couple Haven't Had Sex for 6 Years Since Wife Ignored Husband's Weight Loss Advice
There are quite a number of couples in sexless marriages. In fact, it is the top most marital issue searched on Google. This happens to couples in long-term relationships.They just drift apart sexually. Well, a man sought advice from US-based psychotherapist, Pamela Stephenson Connolly, who specializes in sexual disorders.
How they got into a sexless marriage:
The man hasn't had sex with his wife for six years. And he admits to have played a part in this.
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After the birth of their daughter, he tried offering advice to his wife about post-pregnancy weight loss. The wife chose to ignore. The dude overreacted and began ignoring sex; I am guessing as some sort of punishment. This led to their sexless marriage.
Two years ago, he began making sexual advances at the wife in a bid to get things back to normal. Unfortunately, his efforts are hitting the rocks. The wife just keeps running away.
Connolly advises the dude to be patient. Since the guy was the one who started rejecting the wife, it may take time for her to overcome that humiliation of being rejected. His punishment approach may have brought about trust issues on her part. And all she needs is a sincere reassurance that it won't happen again.
Part of why she is running could be because:
- He offered her weight loss advice which means he didn't like her post-baby weight.
- He ignored having sex with her which the wife may have interpreted to mean her body is a turn-off.
Bottom line is: He needs to reassure his wife that he truly appreciates her body.
Since the man has learned that sex should never be used as a weapon, he needs to open up to his wife and sincerely apologize for his approach. "Ask her to express her own feelings about being physically close to you, and listen very carefully without interruption, defensiveness or turning blame back on her. She needs to feel safe with you again or she will never be comfortable with intimacy," advises Connolly.
Couples need proper conflict-resolution without which relationships can follow the doomed patterns of avoidance, passive-aggression, escape,or a cold war. These aren't conducive patterns for a healthy, passionate, sexual relationship; hence, a sexless marriage.
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