Dating to get free meals?
Being on a first date for quite a number of women is like talking about yourself and getting a free meal and drinks out of it. You meet someone, talk… talk… talk and expect them to get the check.
Well, I read an article by Calee Prindle the other day and really laughed my head off. She went on a date with this man who did not pick up the check after dinner; they split it. Much as she really liked this man, this wasn’t what she is used to (a gentleman is always supposed to get the check right?) Well, she shared this with her roomy and told him how great he was … only he didn’t pay for her drink. Roommate’s advice: "Dump him!"
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I seriously began questioning if I was going to see this man again because he did not pick up the check. I also became insecure and questioned if he had as good of a time as I did. Because of my dating history, I was programmed to think men always picked up the check.
I continued to date him, and he continued not picking up the check. After about five dates, I broached the subject with him. His response made me like him even more, "If I, or you, always pick up the check this, dating, becomes transactional. It is like I am paying you to spend time with me, or you are paying me to spend time with you."
Transactional? Some reality check that was... IS for me too!!!
Well, just like Prindle, I always expect the man to pick up the check… at least have the courtesy to do it on the first date. But honestly, I have never looked at it as me getting 'paid' to spend time with someone. Quite harsh huh?
"I don't want my love life to be transactional. I'm not dating to get free meals; I'm dating to find someone who I can commit to -- a partner and an equal. I don't need a man who showers me with meals and drinks; I need a man who showers me with thought-provoking conversation, smart humor and new ways to see and live in the world. So, I split the check, and I hope more women will start, too," she concludes.
Most of us have always equated a man’s picking up the check (or not) on the first date as an indication of whether they enjoyed our company or not. But is this really the case? What do you think about this man’s reasoning? Drop us a line.
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