Dating websites - the favorite list
Most dating websites have various features that members can use to show interest in other members. Take this site for example… we have the send a kiss, send hug and send flower. And then we have the famous “favorite list"? where you add all those cuties.
But have you ever wondered why some people send you those “kisses�", put you on their favorite list but NEVER write. Sometimes you even decide to give them a little nudge by writing to them, but STILL, they don’t write. It’s like you never even existed in that favorite list. Once I even wondered… “Did I just add myself into someone’s favorite list?"
One woman once asked why this happens. And this is the answer she got:
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
Do you have a pantry? Somewhere that you store food that you’re not planning on eating right this second? That’s what a hot list is for men. A pantry to keep track of all the lovely ladies who may have caught their eyes while browsing.
True as that may be, do you think being on someone’s hot list or favorites list is better than not being put on at all? Does being in the ‘pantry’ mean that you haven’t been eliminated from contention entirely? Much as some may think that it’s better to be in the ‘pantry’ than not to be at all, there is never a guarantee you’re going to get an email. The food will eventually rot and have to be discarded.
Question is, should you then hold on to the favorite list as some kind of promise ring or ignore it entirely?
This is one big problem with online dating. I know too well because I can identify with this experience. You reach home, log in and see that people have browsed through your profile like 500 times. And the end result… 4 kisses and a couple of emails. And what registers in your brain that instant:
494 PEOPLE JUST REJECTED ME?!!! :lol:
As much as this may not be entirely true, this is how most of us end up feeling. You take it too personally that you decide to give online dating the middle finger… you never bother to consider the logic of online dating and you probably don’t log in for a while. Consider this for a moment – haven’t you also browsed through more than 500 people – most of whom didn’t interest you? How many have you put on your favorite list and never sent even one “Hi? email? Should each and every one of these people feel hurt coz you browsed them and never bothered to make contact?
Imagine people going into a store to window shop. And when they don’t buy, the owner gets mad and decides to shut the store down. Online dating is filled with browsers… you know, those who just look but don’t pay for the site. So if 50% of the people are not even potential buyers, then I guess this is expected. So when people don’t write, it could mean a lot of things. They are probably busy writing to the most favorite people on favorites list. And maybe… just maybe… some of them won’t be interested and they’ll work their way down to you. But don’t hold your breath… you may never exhale.
Favorite or not, I wouldn’t want to date some guy who wouldn’t pay the equivalent of a couple of cups of coffee a week to contact me.
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