Dating-what constitutes cheating?

Posted by Ria, 08 May 07

Dating and cheating are two words that can’t be separated when it comes to relationship issues. ‘What constitutes cheating’ is an age-old question that can make or break a relationship. Where do we draw the line?

Would you consider sex with a prostitute as cheating? Some guys don’t simply because there are no emotions involved. Unbe-fucking-lievable :roll: . How about that fantasy about Beyonce or Taye Diggs for the case of women? For some people, cheating is a black-and-white issue but there exists a lot of that gray area for most of us. So where do we draw the line? Do we draw the line at that harmless flirt with an online buddy or workmate, a kiss, or the banging itself?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

All these may be grounds for breakup depending on who you are dealing with. And we all have those free passes at work, in our fantasy worlds and what may seem harmless to the relationship could get your freaking ass dumped.

When our relationships deviate from the fairy tale plot we have for them, it’s rather human to entertain the sweet-nothings from some other guy or chic. And these harmless things could create trust issues which may further ruin the relationship. Plus question is how far will you take these sweet nothings? And your spouse ever found out, how would they react?

I think the best thing to do is to discuss the cheating boundaries… the rules of distraction, coz no matter how you define it, it’s disrespectful and no matter how someone else justifies it, if in your view an action is cheating, then it’s unjustifiable. So set boundaries in your relationship based on how both of you define it and work with that.

Am not much of an advice giver but I guess that should do it. Good luck ;)

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  1.   Bellara says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 10

    cheating can be either emotional, verbal or physical, go figure! and for mike and co: what are the chances that a woman is seen staring at another man especially in the company of her man?am sure you know its not uncommon but not as common as men. if you are gonna stare at a lady, there's something called a face, women are not just made up of ass and breasts and thats the problem a ton of men have, they look at women as if they are piece of meat.

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  2.   Snazzybella says:
    Posted: 11 Feb 10

    I am a seriously jealous possessive woman, and anything that pops into my head that i dont like is CHEATING

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  3.   CanadianGC says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 07

    Cheating is when you do something that you don't want the person you are dating or in a realtionship with, to find out about.

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  4.   Waylon says:
    Posted: 09 Jul 07

    Gah,, As much as i hate to have to agree with it..Mikes right... A woman can get caught looking and a man will forgive it..but a man gets caught looking... well..let just not go there..

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  5.   mikeb143 says:
    Posted: 31 May 07

    if im walking with my wife or signiffence other an look at a tight ass, its ok. if ishare that thought i could be dumped on my ass or at least get a stare of distain.

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  6.   Vivacious1 says:
    Posted: 26 May 07

    Last time I checked, the Bible didn't say thou shalt not talk to another person - how is conversation cheating? I'm sorry, but unless my man slips and falls on someone else's, well, you know what - I won't consider it cheating. Men and women think and fantasize about other individuals ALL the time - it's called being human. Forgive me but that's my rant.

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  7.   Andrew says:
    Posted: 25 May 07

    Cheating is simple to define - breaking the rules. In college, taking an exam, looking at your notes is not cheating IF it's an open book test. Lovers should care enough to inquire about one another's expectations and discuss and arrive at agreeable boundaries. Cheating could mean different things in different relationships. Also, thoughts are just thoughts, sometimes thoughts come into our head that do not reflect our true character. Ever think of killing someone? Ever say you would? But would you? Are you a killer? I think when you like the thought and dwell on it, elaborate on it....fantasize. Then you've crossed the line. Everyone should check NPR's News and Notes from May 16, 2007 titled "is lifelong fidelity possible?". Some interesting cultural differences are that the French tend to expect that their partner thinks things and tend not to want to know, whereas Americans fall into this ideal of intimacy as full disclosure without consideration of emotional effect. Then then end up in long term therapy to get over the ideas their partner had.... intriguing.... which do you think is better?

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  8.   Andrew says:
    Posted: 25 May 07

    Cheating is best defined as breaking the rules. Taking a test in college, looking at your notes is not cheating IF it's an open book test. Most important is to inquire about and understand your partners expecations, then to discuss and arrive at a mutually satisfying boundary. Thoughts are thoughts, we all have all kinds of good and bad ideas cross our minds, its part of being human, I've thought of killing people, but I'm no killer. It's when you begin to dwell on the thoughts, to elaborate, to...fantasize. Then you've crossed the line. You know what's very interesting - the NPR discussion on news & notes, may 16, 2007 titled "is lifelong fidelity possible". They discuss cultural differences. For example, they say that in France, on would never tell their spouse of a cheating fantasy, especially if it was never carried out, they understand and accept that people have idea; but in America we have this romantic ideal that intimacy involves full disclosure regardless of it's effects on the other's emotions. Its very intriguing....

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  9.   fala says:
    Posted: 13 May 07

    Careful Dude, I'd hate to see either of you get burned.

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  10.   CleverChaos says:
    Posted: 11 May 07

    I think it's safe to say that most people are flirts and that is usually one of the elements in keeping a relationship exciting. I believe that flirting is innocent as long as it doesn't go beyond that. I also think that most dating boundaries go without saying. Some people have more open views on dating than others, so it's a good idea for couples to clear the air on what is or isn't acceptable in their relationship.

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  11. Posted: 10 May 07

    I think even if the idea enters your mind mind then then that is considered as cheater. I don't think you have to carry the act out physically because we can commit as well as omit mentally.

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  12.   The_Dude says:
    Posted: 08 May 07

    The cute waitress at my local cafe is acting strange. Today she gave me 3 extra stamps on my loyalty card for a regular capaccino. This must be a sign but I am male and will ignore it completely. But at least now I have a free coffee waiting for me even though I haven't fully earned it. I don't think I'm cheating, but she's definitely cheating on her boss. I don't know how long our secret will last but I will savor every last drop.

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