Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?

Posted by Ria, 24 Dec 07

..."Perhaps one way to see the status of racism is to go to dating sites and check on the preferences of people, the ethnicity is a case in point."...

When creating your profile on dating sites, one thing one has to fill out is the ethnic preference of your potential mate. ‘I am looking for a man, age: 24-35 of ethnicity: Hispanic.’ Much as there is the option for all ethnicities, being specific kinda narrows down the search to what you consider as the cream of your milk.

When it comes to online dating preferences, most women choose men of their own race and fewer women added Asian/East Indian to their preference list. Racial bias seems to have remained unchanged. Racism still exists and the only thing that has changed seems to be the ethnicity of the ‘stranger’ – from Native American to black, to Hispanic, to Asian, to East Indian etc.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Are interracial dating websites encouraging racism by making such a racial categorization when it comes to stating what you are looking for? Is it ok to let a member state the race of the person they would like to meet or should it be left option in order to discourage prejudice based on ethnicity?

Much as I believe in preference, when we talk of interracial dating, then it should mean open to one after the other – regardless of ethnicity or skin color. I believe that being open – minded and tolerant is the beginning of a non-racist society.

And how do you explain someone who is attracted only to another race? How about those that are open to just one race that aint their own. Does this qualify them as non-racist or will it be politically correct to say that they still think along racial lines = RACISM?

Tags: racism

Responses to "Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?"

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  1.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 10

    It depends!,it can and it can't.I think it solely depends on the individual,if you asked me,but,what do I know?!.

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  2.   AhTrini says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 09

    Why should it bother me if someone checks all other races that he's willing to date, other than mine, which is Black; that is his issue not mines. Most societies devalue Black people as a whole, so why should you all expect something different on a dating site? Wake up people, the people online are the same people in society; they may be just thousands of miles away from you or right next door, being online doesnt change them.

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  3.   zidane says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 09

    i like this site

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  4.   pink says:
    Posted: 20 Mar 09

    Girlsixdiva, Lindsay Lohan's tabloid name is Lilo ;)

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  5.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 09

    hey pink: Lilo who?

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  6.   pink says:
    Posted: 18 Mar 09

    Hey, I think Lilo is kinda hot ;)

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 25 Feb 09

    hi .... :)..im only 17, and im afro-caribbean...i have interracially dated, simply because i wanted to try something new. I will say that we broke up for religious differences though, he was Hindu, and Im a Christian. Wasn;t gonna work for me because I'm not raising Hindu children. Its not what I beleive. I think the problem is that people are quick to accuse one another of being prejudice, when in reality we all are. I'll be quick to say it..I am..I'm gonna try my best to find and marry a black man. Because I want black children, who are proud of their heritage, and race. Not saying that mixed children wouldn't be, but thats not what I want. Ide highly respect anyone that says hey im white, or im spanish and thats the only type of partner i want. GOOD...its simply an interest in keeping the culture in your household strong, thats all. it becomes a problem when people only date in their race for negative reasons. But if people would be real, and step out and say, 'Im a WOC and all o want is a MOC' then people should stop trying to make them feel bad for that. Because God willing I will marry an educated, hard working, God fearing family oriented beautiful black man and we will have beautiful brown babies. And theres nothing wrong with feeling that way. There is so much separation and resentment in the black commmunity that we need to to actually uplift our men, and women instead of turning our backs or getting fed up and just 'trying something new'...we need to renew, replenish, and redefine ourselves.

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  8.   lala2qz says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 08

    i havent read many of the responses. but i'll give an example of why some people pick everything but black. OK, so well, maybe they dont want the hassle that comes with a black woman, and I dont mean hassle from her, but from others. For some, its instilled at a young age that black isnt good. I've witnessed this myself when this little boy had the biggest crush on me but after his mom and grandmother found this out, they were quick to give him a lesson on how he should feel about black women. and how he shouldnt like me because I'm black. DEFINENTLY showed that they taught him this. Example being him saying that he cant like me anymore because Im black. But nevertheless, if he were to have a page sometime in the future, he would not have black checked, and I dont blame him for it. I only feel sympathy that this is how it is for some, because he undeniably did not dislike black women personally. SOOO, I believe that an example like this is why some people try to make it racial or site racism as the truth behind it.

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  9. Posted: 31 Aug 08

    Everybody has a preference, whether it's for a particular race, hair color, body type, breast size, etc. Those who say I'm "open to" or will date "any" and "everybody", are not being honest with themselves or others. We can nitpick and label all day long. We accuse those that prefer fit people as discriminating against fat people, those that prefer redheads as racist against blondes. Where does it end? It is possible to appreciate the beauty in all people, but have a natural attraction to one particular look. There is nothing wrong with that. It is possible to change a preference, but don't change your preference based on what society tells you. I started dating outside my race about 11 years ago to broaden my horizons. I wasn't having much success with black men. I've dated every race (except asian) but found that I prefer white men. I haven't met any black men lately that I feel attracted to and I have felt guilty about that. Why? Because society tells me I should stick with my own. If I prefer a tall man over a short one, nobody forces me to explain this. Bottom line, I want what I want and I'm done with the guilt and explanations. If you want to call that racist then go right ahead.

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  10. Posted: 25 Aug 08

    Salsera77, bornfree2008, and Sxybrwnsuga have summed it up perfectly.

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  11.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 08

    Hey, I'm comment number 85! :-P

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  12.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 08

    Hey, I'm comment #85! :-P

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  13.   chrisFromMs says:
    Posted: 27 Jun 08

    Well, I don't mention my ethnicity on any federal or state forms. I am a male human. I will only date female humans, beyond this live and let live (given where I live this attitude is actually the loony left, but it's how I feel).

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  14.   Sxybrwnsuga says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    It's called having a preference people. If I want to date someone who is black and not a white person that is my preference. It does not make me a racist. You are attracted to who you are attracted to. I'm so damn tired of everyone trying to make a racial issue out of every little thing. If you don't like it then stop joining these sites.

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  15. Posted: 15 Jan 08

    Hello all, To answer the original question "Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?", I answer a resounding YES! They also encourage ageism (you have to state an age range preference)and other little known ism's related to : Geography, height, color of eyes, religion, drinking habits, smoking habits, whew! what a list of prejudices! I'm appalled at these sites! We should take whatever we're offered, no questions asked, no preferences stated!

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  16.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 08

    Vt33, great post it pretty much summed it all up, I totally agree with you that we love ourselves more than anyone else loves us. I just hope Exit do all black woman a favor and stay way!

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  17.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 15 Jan 08

    ExitDetroit, I can respect your opinion, but at the same time I'm getting sick of that tired excuse negro's like you and some other blk females use, when it comes to sista's like myself wearing extentions. 99% of black women that wear extentions are not trying to look like wihte women, we like how it looks on us and our features. I don't have a problem with the dread look but I don't want to wear them, I would get twist's done with some extentions added depending on the length I desire, but due to me liking to change up my hairstyle so much the "Dreads" look isn't for me. I wish some blk people and others would stop the tired excuses and assumptions, when it comes to sista's wearing weave. You do what works for you and others have the right to do it too, because nowadays you don't find to many woman that are 100% natural. Even white women and others add to their hair too. Just for the record, I like trying different dishes myself and like (in the process of learning) different languages. So stop your freakin generalizations and continue to date what you normally date.

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  18.   Salsera77 says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 08

    Do dating sites encourages racial prejudice? Of course not! Dating sites ask you for your "PREFERENCE" and that's ok. I WANT This. I for one don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me and they shouldn't want to be with me if I'm not attracted to them. That would be a waste of my time and theirs. In other words, I want the truth from the start. I'm not trying to convert anyone and there needs to already have been a history of respect in the other person's life for other races for me to be attracted to that person, otherwise, YUCK.

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  19.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 14 Jan 08

    ...come on...if you like BBW's you wouldnt go to a Barbie site...you go to where you find what you are seeking... Southern smiles and world peace, Sharon

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  20.   cm0008 says:
    Posted: 12 Jan 08

    Although, I haven't read all of these responses....I find it pretty ridiculous that black women are crying over black men on an interracial dating site! There are a helluva lot of other races who love all women and an equal helluva lot of men who only dates black women exclusively. And personally, I find myself getting alot of hits from black men who has on their profile that they want to date white, latino or asian women. Now the only problem I ever have with black men wanting to date white women or others, is if and only if, they do it to make themselves believe that they will gain some type of 'status' or recognition for it. Everyone knows that there are 'ghetto', downright raunchy and fake women of all races. You may need to broaden your horizons and start to figure out why you only meet the same type of black women or black men who you have nothing in common with. I could easily say that I don't date black men because they have chips on their shoulders and want people to believe that they are more than what they really are. But, I'm smart enough to KNOW that every black man is not that way! I like all races and have friends of all races, who actually date all races. I have interracial family members. It's quite silly to categorize all women or men of a race within the same category. I could actually write a whole blog on the insecurities of races, but I'll save that for another time.

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  21.   ms.ebonia says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    I agree that for the most part,people on here are open to diferent races-its just that it has been proven, and I am speaking from experience-sometimes, people are situationally racist.A man comes and hits on u in the bar or asks u out on a date, and then if u politely refuse u are the "n" word. Or this guy has been hitting on you, and trying to get with you then you hear him saying derrogatoy racial things about another black person.so that would explain how a kkk person or the son of one might mess with someone of a dif race.I worked at quite a few nursing homes and the old farts there are generally racist initialy then when they get to know u or are attracted to u start becoming aroused and or make advances, yet the are calling black males or other black females "n" word. Its quite common.As far as being pro ones own race, i think to a degree it is natural and a norm, and the only place i see it lacking is in the black community.Myself, I undestand that God is a God of variety and everyone is beautiful yet different.There can be two beautiful types of flowers, both equal but different cuz they are supposed to be...two butterflies, both equally beautiful but dont look the same, cuz they arent supposed to they were made differnt.And that is the way it is with people, but some people have tunnel vision and cannot see beautty outside of what looks the same as them or what is a norm to them. Then there is definitely people like you and I who can see it...Life goes on.Long as I can find someone who mmakes me happy and I am attracted to them that is all i cae about,whatever race they may be. However, black men in geneal seem to me to be less capable of fulfilling a woman's emotional needs. Dont know why it is but I know women of all races whobeen with blk men who realize the same.

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  22.   kathugga says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    ms.ebonia, I hope you don't think that is always the case. If someone asked me to choose between 3 women of different races, I would pick the one I thought was most beautiful regardless of the race--tho I'd probably try to take all 3 home with me instead, lol! I would hope tho, that all 3 had more than just their looks going for them. But, if you said I had to pick 1 of the 3, and that that person was the one I would marry, have kids with, live the rest of my life with (again assuming that all 3 had more than just beauty going for them, ie, brains, sense of humor, etc), I'd pick the one with the darkest skin. I really don't understand why there is so much debate over this issue. Everyone posting here (at least i hope so) is a member of this site, and is at least open to dating and marrying and having kids with someone of another race--usually black and white, but there are some latina's here, and asians that I've seen. Maybe a better question that could be asked or should have been asked is Why do people prefer someone of another race? It should be (or mebbe I'm being too idealistic) patently obvious that the people on this site are not racist. At least I hope not. yes, there are those who just want to "sample", and sadly probably a few stalkers buried among the members here, but I think we all have this in common: We all either prefer or are willing to date a person of a different race. Some of us have been married and have kids who are mixed. I know that doesn't prevent someone from being racist (my ex wife had a son with the son of a former grand wizard of teh kkk in mississippi--NO it's not me!--, so she said) but it should be a sign that probably, most likely, the people that belong to this site--or someting similar--are not. I'm going to shut up now tho, before I ramble on and change the subject again, lol. I hope that everyone here has a great year.

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  23.   ms.ebonia says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    I feel there will always be ignorance and hate, and that having a preference for a race doent mean racist-its the REASON why.Thats what maters.Yes, I DO believe black men especially believed that dating white women was better for his status than dating black women, i feel that they judged standards of beauty based on catering to the white man's standard of beauty...when it boils down to it, white people in general are pro white and geared more toward their own in standards of beauty without even realizing it.I wont necessarily say that it is wrong.Its not their fault that blacks aren't pro black and the fact that blacks dont embrace their own beauty the way other races embrace theirs and view theirs as a norm. This can be done while still recognizing beauty in other ethnicities on each racial group's part. What I am saying, is if u ask a white or asian man who is the hottest girl, they both gona pick someone from their own race. Ask a black man, he is much more likely to say a female that is not black. That is why beyonce was not chosen by the majority of men and lindsay was.White people see other races as "different". If a black woman is pretty, she is pretty"for a black woman" or an asian "pretty for an asian woman". But the white woman is pretty period-get what I am saying? ANd like i said black people could be that way about their own but of course they aren't. We are the most ununified, chaotic disastrously structured racial group there is and I am sure it will stay that way.

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  24.   jade74 says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    Lol.....Kemo.....no the chat room is not the only place for fighting.

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  25.   kemosoby says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 08

    i thought folks only fought in the chat room lol

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  26.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 07 Jan 08

    lol@idicus and aimnnoire, the two of you should date...lol idicus can try to clown you to tell you about who and where you came from. Then the two of you can bicker about his tribal stuff. Sorry Idicus, you can't insult me. lol...I've been fed far to much knowledge from hard core radicals and scholars. Don't be so quick to put people down because you broke bread in Africa. The gift of knowledge is a life long class, and your professor will come in all shapes and forms. Lessons are a part of in life, where it shapes your mind, and allows your will to soar to all heights. Oh yeah, idicus, if you even had a hint of a woman interested in you, what you put up there made you look like a complete azz..lol Seems like the only lesson you learned, was how to get drunk, snort, and roll your eyes, and disrespect, the so called culture you grew up in and profess to love...lmao!

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  27.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    Great post kathugga!

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  28.   kathugga says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    Interesting question and even more interesting answers. To me, racism is a dislike or out right hatred of another race, while prejudice is a preference for (or not) another. I am prejudiced because I prefer to be with women who have brown skin, in all it's shades. The first question my family asks me when I mention a new lady that I'm interested in (whether we are dating or not) is "what color is she?". followed sometimes by "you and your black women! you need to date different women!" sigh. I have my preference, and it will probably always be so. There are many beautiful women of all races and colors, but to me, black women are the most beautiful. Don't ask me to explain it, because I don't think I can, any more than a person could explain adequately why people love. It just is. I've dated white, black, asian, hispanic and keep coming back to black. I even broke up with a lady I was dating (asian) because I realized (after watching some old Envogue, and TLC, and Destiny's Child videos)that I loved black women more and just wouldn't be happy with her. Why? Dunno, and don't care. I just am. Hopefully, everyone on this site is the same, even knowing realistically that not everyone is. So, whether not I made sense here, I just have my preference, and know that I would not be truly happy with any other race of woman. All I can say is, be true to yourself and your beliefs and how you feel (yes, how you believe and how you feel can be reconciled, lol!) and date and marry and have kids with whoever is best suited for YOU. Not your family, not your friends. For YOU. It's the only way that ultimately you will be happy. It's entirely possible that the way you feel will change over time, and you will have a new preference. Great, as long as that change is right for YOU. Will our society ever change? Once the old haters die off, it will. Once comment above mentioned seeing people of every different race dating when they walk down the street. The kids get it, as long as we let them. The old stereotypes, the old hates, WE perpetuate them. Put a bunch of little kids together and they don't care what color the other ones are. They might be curious, but they'll play and be friends as long as the parents let them. Let's hope the old haters go to their reward quickly (well, not wishing ill on anyone btw!) and that their messages of hate die with them or get ignored by the new generations. If we are luckly, those of us in our 30's will be the last to have any in them, if we let our kids be people and not colors. So, let dating sites like this one that cater to peoples preferences (prejudices?) flourish! They are a small thing to pin the hopes of a future color blind world on, but those of us who are here, if we teach our kids right, possibly children born from a union of people who met here, it will be a color blind world.

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  29.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    Please go to sites to find a mate...people go to specific sites because that is the type of person that they like...but most sites are about all races...I vote...it is a good thing! Smiles, Sharon

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  30.   Idicus says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    yet again both my posts get cut off *rolls eyes* probably a good thing too, VT33 inst intresting enought to bother the rest of ya with my comments on her thoughts.

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  31.   Idicus says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    vt33--we all got captured around the same time on the coast of Africa, WE WHO? i dont recall any slave ships in the last 100 years.*SNORTS* hmm first off you REALLY need to reread History, the first slaves were captured war prisoners in tribal warfare(and SOLD to slave ships by their own culture enemies , after the fighting stopped....THEN the raiding began.(lords im White and know more history on slavery then you, (then again i GREW UP IN AFRICA) clueless arent ya VT33? ask a History Professor about it (my mothers Family including ME grew up in Zarie...UNLIKE YOU.) Sad to think you can talk about a place you have probably never been? want to come to my house and see all the tribal stuff IVE got...including what the tribal shaman( his name translation which i cant remember meant "Seeker of Clouds") gave me at 18 when we moved BACK to texas? hmmm i cant WAIT to talk to you about this....if ya ever bothered to ever LIVE in AFRICA..........LIKE I GREW UP IN. *snorts* please VT33, dont post here unless you know what your talking about hmm?

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  32.   Idicus says:
    Posted: 06 Jan 08

    hmmm * makes new whiskey and coke drink before responding after a week vacation* Vt33--- hmmm maybe you need to reread my post (well the post i left that didnt get cut off) ya i moved to a small redneck town ( im a REDNECK, but not the racism kind of this small town, hell for past 20 years all i have dated is black females! Why? cause i find them honest and real *shrug*. when i mean "the only black people you will find in this town is those travelling through town at 80 miles an hour"...simple WHO in the HECK would want to Stop here for anything but gas and snakes before driving on?(btw, i can ask a girlfriend of mine from Austin texas to respond also...she will tell you flat out, i live in a racist small minded pissant town...after 2 "lunchdates" (we are simply friends) she flat out refuses to come to my town ever again(well NOT MY town, this town im in makes me sick) both times i took her to lunch you could HEAR others talking about " look at the white boy and his N gf"

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  33.   Aimnoire says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 08

    Everybody seems to know better than the other. When will this bickering stop? I thought at highschool right at ya vt33

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  34.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 08

    yawn!

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  35.   tiger says:
    Posted: 05 Jan 08

    Vt...didnt know nicole was adopted. Anyway, I'm a female and wasn't clowning on you at all. Nope, you're not a killjoy. And I don't feel denegrated but I know many who have, that's what I was talking about. And How many Middle Eastern nations are considered a world power? Much less Japan or even Jewish people. No, America is considered the world power and who controls it: White America. Bill Cosby's comment? Don't remember, so I guess it didn't bother me. Nor does it bother me about the elevator thing, I just think it's sad to see this still even now. I don't know why you felt the need to attack when I was only agreeing with you, just disputed the Nicole thing, which my bad... And if you want figures in a state by state breakdown of prison census, look it up on the net. There's also one of the total federal prison population. I know this because I helped write a paper for school about that. And as far as knowledge goes, whatever I don't know today, I'm opening to learning tomorrow. Me and my black rare two lips...lol ;)

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  36.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 08

    lol@tiger, Nicole Ritchie, is the niece of Sheila E. Remeber her, Glamrous life. Nicole was adopted by, Lionel and Brenda Ritchie, who are both black. Being that she is the offspring of Sheila E's brother and a female band member at the time, that makes her HISPANIC...lol Now Lionels second set of offspring, their mother may be Jewish. Quick Comment..lol..again trying to clown me, never fails, a so called brother man who wants to show who he is always got to take a sister girl out to make his point. When Lionel did Oprah, Nicole was on the show, and they both said that, she was adopted, and she is the niece of Sheila E. Tiger when's the last time you filled out a Cencus form or any other form printed in the USA that did not have the color choices available. Sure we all come from the same place, but the world seperates the colors. Minorities, have always been considered, blacks and hispanic's in AMERICA. Around the world that's a whole different ball of wax. Also hence the words AFFIRMATIVE ACTION (pfft yeah right joke those two word), that was designed to allow MINORITIES, a fair and equal chance at jobs, schooling, and the like Lets not confuse this either tiger, in other countries, people of darker hues are treated as inferior. Brazil, for example, the Brazilians who have attained their African looks are treated horrible. Watch the documentary on IFC channel, Bus 57, it plugs the life of a Brazilian and the system that keeps him and his commorades down. Mainly because of their color. Also the whites have not controlled the money in this world for years. You need to see the Optician and get a thorugh eye exam. Open your eyes, Arabs, Japanese, Jews they control the money in the world. How do you think they built Dubai, on white folks money? How do you think Japan has billionaries popping up all over the place? Jewish, how do you think they control the media in every angle? MONEY, POWER, RESPECT, key to life you say. Medical Miracles, I think not, they still haven't came up with a cure for AIDS or Cancer. Yet they can shrink peoples stomachs so they can slim down and die a slow death to be slim. Doesn't look like they are going to try real hard to find one both AIDS and CANCER generate money, for drug makers. Plus the AIDS is the highest killer among blacks and hispanics in the USA, next to heart dieases, now what does that tell you. Still upset when those white women grab their purse when you and your mom walk on the elevator. I think there are more pressing issues, than you focusing on some dingy broads in a elevator. Robbing them of what? It's to late, the robbing and raping, murder has never stopped. It's done more openly then it was many, years ago. It's just done more civilized and more if you will "diplomatic". You may have a point on the political part of the blog. The rest well...! They rob you of your right to exist and be treated fairly and just, the rape you to obey laws that were designed to control "you". They kill, you because you feel the defeat, and you give up on the struggle , thus you have subcummbec to their will. Those people who define and degenerate "YOU TIGER" then you need to stand up for yourself. No one defines who you are but you. No one degenerates you but you. You read the books, and follow the words, yet you don't open your eyes to see what the gift of knowledge really is. Put your numbers out to read and impress those who are not clued in. You are one of those folks who were mad at Bill Cosby for his comments a couple of years ago aren't you? Heres somthing for you to digest, read Tony Browns, Black Lies White Lies, you might get a better grip on your figures and your black rare tulips. I am such a kill joy!

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  37.   sasa says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 08

    Sometimes maybe like that. But there are still some cool site to join. I just joined a site casualpal.com and met a cool black man, he was humorous and active, I liked him very much. We're going to have a wonderful night this weekend.

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  38.   tiger says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Just one quick comment. VT, Nicole Richie is black and white. Her dad is Lionel Ritchie who is black and her mother is Jewish. I think the ultimate point is, white society has made being a person of color out to be a bad thing. Its just time for people to realize that it's a numbers game. The world is 6 billion. Mostly 'minority' since Chinese and Indians are 2+ billion of the population. Then add all the other 'minorities' and mixed color people and that's about 70+% of the world population. That tells me something: we are NOT the 'minority'. It's enough to make alot of 'Caucasian' people scared. But really- we all came from the same place and we are all HUMAN. This is just a political game that's made us separate. As long as people of a darker skin color feel less than and inferior, as well as confusing ourselves with in-fighting, we will miss the major point: We still allow Whites to define and denigrate us, as well as control the money and politics. Now is this a bad thing? Only the part that keeps us separate is bad, ('cause I love all people equally.). Only the part the allows us to feel so bad about who we are we try to hide it or dress it up as something else. Yes, I come from African roots. As well, as White and Native American roots. Not one part of it should cause me shame. Too bad no one else has got that message. We've had 2008 years of industrial revolution, computer technology, and medical miracles. Yet we're still bogged down by something as simple as what color we are? How sad is that? When we look at paintings it's the colors that make it beautiful. When you see a tiger it's yellow, white and BLACK, but the BLACK and white ones are more reveered. Roses and tulips are considered rare, but rarer still if it's a BLACK one. So, why are brothers killing brothers, whites killing brothers and vice versa, and people blaming society downfalls on blacks? We're 20-25% of US population and only 30% of the crime. 80% of all prisoners are white. Obviously no one heard the report from the prison system statistic count? Yet, the second me and my mom get on a elevator, white ladies grab their purse. Like grabbing it would keep it safe if I was going to rob them, anyway??? LOL. Nowadays, you can't count on just the color of someone's skin to tell you if they'll rob/rape/kill you, anyway. ----2008 and everyone is still asleep. WAKE UP!!!!!!

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  39.   Lora47 says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Well, here goes my first "blog" I am a white woman who "prefers" black men. That doesn't mean that I don't think men of other races are attractive, that is just my "preference". When I look at a man, the color of his skin is not the first thing I see. It could be a fabulous smile, it could be that little seductive look in his eye, or let's be honest, it could be a great bod, with large bicepts and washboard abs! I can be attracted to men that are very different from each other. There is not just one thing that gets my attention. But I do notice that when I am out with a blk man I get (some) dirty looks from blk women. This used to bother me a great deal, but I've gotten over it. I know what I like, and truthfully, I don't think it is anyone elses place to put me down for it. If more people focused on what made THEMSELVES happy and stopped looking for things in other people to put down, I think the world would be a much better place to live in. I think it is a shame that we look at people and make assumptions on their physical appearence. By looking at someone on the outside,you have no idea what is in their mind, spirit or heart. I really just do not understand the whole concept of prejudice. We are all just people. We can't change what has happened in the past but we can make the future (and the present) a better place to be. Good luck to everyone in their search for true love, and may we all have a Happy New Year!

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  40.   outri says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    I don't think they promote racism. I believe they cater to the preference of those who prefer someone out of their out ethnicity.

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  41.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    hmmm! A lot of dirty clothes in the hamper again...funny. Uh RedMirror, I am not sure what part of the USA you live in, but where I am from The New York Post, slams your Pure dance buddy, Paris Hilton, every single chance they get. (read Page6 when she does somthing slutty). Brittany Spears, isn't a natural blond either,(Page6 rips her, Lynn and now preggers baby sister to shreds) yet i don't see you mentioning her in your blog as a ditzy blond. As far as Nicole Ritchie goes she's hispanic, my hair stylist is hispanic, and she dyes her hair blond and always have, Marilyn Monroe is my stylist icon the color of your hair doesn't make or break you, red go thru little Havana, thats all you see bottled blonds and red lipstick. I think it's cute, tan, bronze and dark skins with blond. "Thats hot". Besides, RedMirror, I don't see you slamming MJB she is the hair color queen, and she hasn't changed kept it real thru and thru, yet you slam Beyounce. hmmm! J-Lo isn't excatly dark haired either, with the help of Ms. Clairol yet she was a Hollywood harlet. Beyounce, well am sure her natural hair color is somewhere around the sandy brown hue, she just lightned it. Red Mirror, I see a lot of racism towards your own in your blog. Look at it from this angle, Don Imus, said somthing stuiped, got fired and came back bigger and better. Paris Hilton, did somthing stuiped got jailed, cried and came back into social graces. Brandy Norwood, had a serious accident, quit her commitments to her tv program, been cleared and off the hook. Michael, playing with little kids, don't understand that sh**t, yet he has not been jailed but still has been able to come back into the good grace fold. Scott Peterson, well last I checked he still hasn't been granted the "logical explanation" you speak of for his crime. The woman who cut her husband up and thru him in suitcases, off the Maryland Coast and came back to Jersey, is now convicted. No "logical explanation" for her yet. You see where I am going here people. Red whoever this radio person was who said, if you "kill all the black babies crime will go down". Here is your dose of reality. Black Children already are at risk for crime, 85% of our children are born out of wedlock, born to drug adddicted mothers, born to HIV mothers, left in maternity wards, born to teens and the baby's grandmother was a teen mother herself. The Foster care system are loaded with black and hispanic children needing homes. Most of these children have physical and mental health issues and it is hard to find a home for these children and or relatives don't want them. The Radio personality who said that took a view from our reality in the communities we live in. A lot of our young are in gangs now, not church anymore. A lot of our youth don't attend school, but they attend the streets and do stuiped stuff. A lot of our youth don't graduate college, but they are home tending babies. Keep in mind folks, people on the outside are always looking in and what they see, is what they judge and make comments on. Your radio personalities comments are ass backwards, crime IS what's killing our black babies. Those of us who are on our uppity high horse, worrying about some folks in the meida and not getting involved are the reasons why our children are getting sucked into dispair. Think about the last person who wasn't a relative you looked up to and strived to be like him or her. Mines was a teacher at my school, she had such grace, and was always polished, she talked proper, NO slang, perfect grammer. Our children don't see that any more. You talk about what "white people believe". Let them beleive what they want, they have their own little secrets that they are ashamed of. Believe- verb-accept as true Fact-noun- somthing known to have occured or to be true. Both words tried and true, ones a verb a action, ones a noun person, place or thing. White, Pink, Purple, can "BELIEVE' what they want if you don't have "FACTS" then what you believe can't be proved. I don't know who is or isn't loving you red, but I do love myself, and wouldn't change one thing about me. I don't need to lay on no beach or get sprayed, or lay on a toaster oven to look brown. I don't need to shove jelly in my chest to look full. I don't need to shoot lotion additives in my lips to have the soup cooler look. Will-noun- desire, choice, pleasure. volition. Redmirror, you hollering about no one "will" do this or that for you. Suga you suppose to do all that for yourself. The definition says, desire, choice, pleasure, all of those three words are within yourself. Stop putting yourself down and placing yourself up. pfft. Fact Lena Horne, Ruby Dees, Phylica Rashad, Debbie Allen, Leotyne Price, Susan Taylor, Eartha Kitt, Cecily Tyson, Debbie Morgan, all run the gautlet from light to dark, from split tooth to straight tooth and from "good hair" to kinky. Fact is every single one of them are beautiful. Fact every single one desires and receives respect. Fact every single one has someone who has or currently cares and loves them. Fact every single one is treated equally and with high respect. I don't know what black women's club you belong too. Those women at the top of the paragraph, I am in that club. Trust me anyone who steps out of line they get put right back into check, don't matter if they black or white! (ty Michael) Point, people, RACSISM is rooted within your mind. Everyone feels contempt for the other, and it looks like black women from this blog put themselves down. For what I don't know, last I checked, I am the sh**t. Those fools acting a fool, thats them. I see, the cute little spanish boys, looking at me, I still make the cute white boys blush, and I can still turn a few black mens heads. Point beauty is in the eye of the beholder. From the looks of things, a great majority of people are pissed off at the dating sites, because of the word "Preference". What do you do when you are in a store and you were waiting and someone places "Preference" over you and you were in line waiting for help or a purchase. You say somthing get moved to the proper place and pay for you item. Wrong! you drop whatever you were going to purchase right there on the floor, or converyer belt, and make sure the cashier or sales person sees you, and EXIT, STAGE, LEFT, with grace and style. Fact, that grabs attention, and also sets the tone, that you will not tolerate "Prefrence", you want equality. Besides, thats what I do when people do that mess. You Will RESPECT ME. OOPS..over did it again..Sorry!

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  42.   ,ds says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Hey i would like to take ur afro for a date tonight, well sorry dude i not liking ur fro lol

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  43. Posted: 03 Jan 08

    * MORE SO IN THE UK UNSURE ABOUT THE US

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  44.   ameriea says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    RedMirror... I really like the way you write/express yourself. You make your point(s) without being crude. This is classic: "He did all of this while expertly pretending to be hurt in a cast and even going so far as to act like he had true human feelings of love for these women In order to get close enough to cut them up and put their heads, and all that other stuff that gets in the way in Lake Sammamish when he was finished consulting with them." Love the word consulting. I do not have much to add this time because what you said was on point. As for others thinking that, "Black women are looked at as dirty and slutty."... I behave so ladylike to everyone (all colors and creeds) that NO ONE thinks of me as slutty. This is what more Black women need to practice [I can tell that you behave ladylike as well].

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  45.   REDMIRROR says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Black women are looked at as dirty and slutty, I think thats funny because how can we sleep around when noone wants to sleep with us! There are white people that believe because our skin is dark brown and purplish around our pubic areas that it means we are dirty and unclean. you are only healthy and attractive if your pubic areas are pink and red like white people's pubic areas are. And then we have the lovely people that believe that black people are responsible for all crimes, one radio host even went so far as to say that the crime rate would go down if you kill black babies. Yet they have not given a logical explanation for the wonderful contributions to society by humanitarians such as henry lee lucas, john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer, and theodore robert bundy. Mr. bundy whom after reading a slip of paper that showed his biological parents were not who he thought they were spent several years dedicated to kidnapping, raping, and killing as many women as possible. He did all of this while expertly pretending to be hurt in a cast and even going so far as to act like he had true human feelings of love for these women In order to get close enough to cut them up and put their heads, and all that other stuff that gets in the way in Lake Sammamish when he was finished consulting with them. He did the stuff most sociopaths find hard to do, {like smiling, laughing, and sometimes even saying the words i love you) all In an effort to accomplish his goals. But wait a minute though, these scholars were white, so should we blame the spirits of the black babies that were aborted during the lives of these philanthropists for not doing their jobs: making the crime rate go down???

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  46.   REDMIRROR says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    It is true that white women are considered prettier and better than black women. we are given little hints that tell us to straighten our hair, change our dark hair to light hair and be the shadow of a white person. i am sick and tired of seeing this fake looking ugly brown/white wig color that black women are encouraged to get because (it looks nice with your complexion) or it looks better. You know the beyonce hair weave color. my hair is jet black and its staying that way and i will not be programmed to believe that if i lighten my hair color that i will be a better and prettier person. The hitler hair program is if your dark haired your better color would be light brown or jet blonde. thats why paris hilton"s friend nicole richie died her pretty dark hair jet yellow she was raised to believe you are only pretty and refined if you are a blonde white woman. now she looks like the proper blonde clone the white world wants. i was in the club at PURE last night and paris hilton showed up she was high on liquor and dancing on top of the d.j.'s turntable station shaking her panties at people. I was shocked to see her in person acting like your average pole dancer gettin loose, when the press always says how beautiful and special she is. now if a black star did that they would call her a ho and slut and bring up the reasons why noone likes black people. but when a white star does it people cheer them on and think its cute. I realize in this world no one will respect me, noone will love me, noone will care about me, noone will treat me equally, noone will think i am beautiful and i will always be urinated one for a white person's benefit and pleasure. But at least i know who i really am and i love and care about myself no matter how much someone else hates my guts.

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  47.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Freedom: The man who runs POF out of his apartment is an Australian. He lives in Australia. Keep in mind that socio-racial constructs mean different things in different countries. In a country such as Australia with a large Aboriginal population, perhaps the term "Black" is more appropriate. In the United Kingdom, the term "Black" includes Southeast Asians, Africans, as well as people of West Indian (Carribean) origin. The term "Black" means different things in different parts of the world. In Italy, the term "Black" could denote Sicilian... If he included an entry for African-Americans, then that would open up a can of worms for other terms, such as Carribean-Americans; British-Americans; Latino-Americans, Scottish-American and who knows what else ON A GLOBAL SCALE. If it is really important to you, you could further explain what your exact racial origin is. I am about to go make an orange juice mimosa... Cheers... ZN EDITORS NOTE: The man who runs Plenty Of Fish is actually Canadian and runs it from Canada not Australia and he isn't Australian

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  48.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Freedom, wrote: [quote]One site that absolutely does spread racism at the site administration level is the free dating site called Plenty of Fish. If you sign up on that site as African-American, you will see your profile ethnicity listed as Black. That wouldn't be so bad if when you did a search by ethnicity all peoples other than African descendents were listed by geographic ethnicity (Caucasian, Asian, Middle Eastern) but instead of African the term Black is used. [/quote]

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  49.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Happy New Year, Everyone... It seems I've missed some fireworks of a different sort... To answer the initial question, YES, dating sites do encourage racial prejudice. I first started a couple years ago on mainstream dating sites such as eHarmony, True, The Right Stuff, and the Square. eHarmony is a site that selects potential matches to its members, rather than have a free for all. When asked what my preferences were, the site **strongly** recommended that I select males of my own "race" as I would have better "success" that way. I'm not even sure I could have completed the initial questionnaire on eHarmony without selecting males of my own "race." This recommendation, however, belied my experience in the real world. The pool of males on True were interesting to interact with, but there was no guarantee that they would be interested in dating interracially; identified or self-selected themselves as being interested in dating interracially, nor had even thought about dating interracially. Both the Right Stuff and The Square, were communities for Ivy League educated individuals; they were both "non-starters" for me. I have even contacted two matchmaking services... a couple of years ago, Valenti graciously and very professionally stated that I was not a good candidate for their service. I say "graciously" because I recently contacted Steve and his mama Joann Ward at mastermatchmaker dot com. Steve is a very immature and spoiled 27 year old. He perfunctorially made derisive comments leading me to the conclusion that I was not good enough for his service. He called me "bitter". This did not dissuade me, however, because calling a black woman "bitter" is like calling a strongminded woman of any race the OTHER "b" word. I thought perhaps the mother, being older and more mature, would be more professional and customer service oriented. She called me on the phone and stated that I am nothing to them. The mythology of romantic love in the Christian world means that "love" and "relationships" are often viewed as something akin to a human right. It is more difficult for African-American women to find quality relationships in a society that is degrading toward African-Americans in general.

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  50.   Lyn335 says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    It's fairly obivious by the comments here that this is a non-issue for most of us. Why would we be members of an interacial dating site if we were racists. I don't want to get into semantics and Lyt has made quite a fine job of clearing that up anyway. I pray we all find that special person this year. Happy New Year to all. God bless us all.

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