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Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?

Posted by Ria, 24 Dec

..."Perhaps one way to see the status of racism is to go to dating sites and check on the preferences of people, the ethnicity is a case in point."...

When creating your profile on dating sites, one thing one has to fill out is the ethnic preference of your potential mate. ‘I am looking for a man, age: 24-35 of ethnicity: Hispanic.’ Much as there is the option for all ethnicities, being specific kinda narrows down the search to what you consider as the cream of your milk.

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When it comes to online dating preferences, most women choose men of their own race and fewer women added Asian/East Indian to their preference list. Racial bias seems to have remained unchanged. Racism still exists and the only thing that has changed seems to be the ethnicity of the ‘stranger’ – from Native American to black, to Hispanic, to Asian, to East Indian etc.

Are interracial dating websites encouraging racism by making such a racial categorization when it comes to stating what you are looking for? Is it ok to let a member state the race of the person they would like to meet or should it be left option in order to discourage prejudice based on ethnicity?

Much as I believe in preference, when we talk of interracial dating, then it should mean open to one after the other – regardless of ethnicity or skin color. I believe that being open – minded and tolerant is the beginning of a non-racist society.

And how do you explain someone who is attracted only to another race? How about those that are open to just one race that aint their own. Does this qualify them as non-racist or will it be politically correct to say that they still think along racial lines = RACISM?

Tags: racism

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  1.   REDMIRROR says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    Black women are looked at as dirty and slutty, I think thats funny because how can we sleep around when noone wants to sleep with us! There are white people that believe because our skin is dark brown and purplish around our pubic areas that it means we are dirty and unclean. you are only healthy and attractive if your pubic areas are pink and red like white people's pubic areas are. And then we have the lovely people that believe that black people are responsible for all crimes, one radio host even went so far as to say that the crime rate would go down if you kill black babies. Yet they have not given a logical explanation for the wonderful contributions to society by humanitarians such as henry lee lucas, john wayne gacy, jeffrey dahmer, and theodore robert bundy. Mr. bundy whom after reading a slip of paper that showed his biological parents were not who he thought they were spent several years dedicated to kidnapping, raping, and killing as many women as possible. He did all of this while expertly pretending to be hurt in a cast and even going so far as to act like he had true human feelings of love for these women In order to get close enough to cut them up and put their heads, and all that other stuff that gets in the way in Lake Sammamish when he was finished consulting with them. He did the stuff most sociopaths find hard to do, {like smiling, laughing, and sometimes even saying the words i love you) all In an effort to accomplish his goals. But wait a minute though, these scholars were white, so should we blame the spirits of the black babies that were aborted during the lives of these philanthropists for not doing their jobs: making the crime rate go down???

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  2.   REDMIRROR says:
    Posted: 03 Jan 08

    It is true that white women are considered prettier and better than black women. we are given little hints that tell us to straighten our hair, change our dark hair to light hair and be the shadow of a white person. i am sick and tired of seeing this fake looking ugly brown/white wig color that black women are encouraged to get because (it looks nice with your complexion) or it looks better. You know the beyonce hair weave color. my hair is jet black and its staying that way and i will not be programmed to believe that if i lighten my hair color that i will be a better and prettier person. The hitler hair program is if your dark haired your better color would be light brown or jet blonde. thats why paris hilton"s friend nicole richie died her pretty dark hair jet yellow she was raised to believe you are only pretty and refined if you are a blonde white woman. now she looks like the proper blonde clone the white world wants. i was in the club at PURE last night and paris hilton showed up she was high on liquor and dancing on top of the d.j.'s turntable station shaking her panties at people. I was shocked to see her in person acting like your average pole dancer gettin loose, when the press always says how beautiful and special she is. now if a black star did that they would call her a ho and slut and bring up the reasons why noone likes black people. but when a white star does it people cheer them on and think its cute. I realize in this world no one will respect me, noone will love me, noone will care about me, noone will treat me equally, noone will think i am beautiful and i will always be urinated one for a white person's benefit and pleasure. But at least i know who i really am and i love and care about myself no matter how much someone else hates my guts.

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  3.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Freedom: The man who runs POF out of his apartment is an Australian. He lives in Australia. Keep in mind that socio-racial constructs mean different things in different countries. In a country such as Australia with a large Aboriginal population, perhaps the term "Black" is more appropriate. In the United Kingdom, the term "Black" includes Southeast Asians, Africans, as well as people of West Indian (Carribean) origin. The term "Black" means different things in different parts of the world. In Italy, the term "Black" could denote Sicilian... If he included an entry for African-Americans, then that would open up a can of worms for other terms, such as Carribean-Americans; British-Americans; Latino-Americans, Scottish-American and who knows what else ON A GLOBAL SCALE. If it is really important to you, you could further explain what your exact racial origin is. I am about to go make an orange juice mimosa... Cheers... ZN EDITORS NOTE: The man who runs Plenty Of Fish is actually Canadian and runs it from Canada not Australia and he isn't Australian

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  4.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Freedom, wrote: [quote]One site that absolutely does spread racism at the site administration level is the free dating site called Plenty of Fish. If you sign up on that site as African-American, you will see your profile ethnicity listed as Black. That wouldn't be so bad if when you did a search by ethnicity all peoples other than African descendents were listed by geographic ethnicity (Caucasian, Asian, Middle Eastern) but instead of African the term Black is used. [/quote]

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  5.   ZoraNeale says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    Happy New Year, Everyone... It seems I've missed some fireworks of a different sort... To answer the initial question, YES, dating sites do encourage racial prejudice. I first started a couple years ago on mainstream dating sites such as eHarmony, True, The Right Stuff, and the Square. eHarmony is a site that selects potential matches to its members, rather than have a free for all. When asked what my preferences were, the site **strongly** recommended that I select males of my own "race" as I would have better "success" that way. I'm not even sure I could have completed the initial questionnaire on eHarmony without selecting males of my own "race." This recommendation, however, belied my experience in the real world. The pool of males on True were interesting to interact with, but there was no guarantee that they would be interested in dating interracially; identified or self-selected themselves as being interested in dating interracially, nor had even thought about dating interracially. Both the Right Stuff and The Square, were communities for Ivy League educated individuals; they were both "non-starters" for me. I have even contacted two matchmaking services... a couple of years ago, Valenti graciously and very professionally stated that I was not a good candidate for their service. I say "graciously" because I recently contacted Steve and his mama Joann Ward at mastermatchmaker dot com. Steve is a very immature and spoiled 27 year old. He perfunctorially made derisive comments leading me to the conclusion that I was not good enough for his service. He called me "bitter". This did not dissuade me, however, because calling a black woman "bitter" is like calling a strongminded woman of any race the OTHER "b" word. I thought perhaps the mother, being older and more mature, would be more professional and customer service oriented. She called me on the phone and stated that I am nothing to them. The mythology of romantic love in the Christian world means that "love" and "relationships" are often viewed as something akin to a human right. It is more difficult for African-American women to find quality relationships in a society that is degrading toward African-Americans in general.

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  6.   Lyn335 says:
    Posted: 01 Jan 08

    It's fairly obivious by the comments here that this is a non-issue for most of us. Why would we be members of an interacial dating site if we were racists. I don't want to get into semantics and Lyt has made quite a fine job of clearing that up anyway. I pray we all find that special person this year. Happy New Year to all. God bless us all.

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  7.   kirabira says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 07

    i like this

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  8.   Lyt says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 07

    First off let's define racist and racism Racist: 1.a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others. 2. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races. Racism: 1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others. 2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race. Now answer me this, where does my preference for who I want to date and marry put me in the catagory of thinking one race is more superior than the other? This is one stupid topic. What am I prejudiced against Chocolate Ice Cream because I like Black Cherry more. Let's not make Butter Pecan mad now. It's called a preference, nothing more. Something I PREFER is to date white men. It's not to say I don't date black men or haven't found a Mexican attractive. If you are going to print something make it make some sense to me. This doesn't!!!

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  9.   tiger says:
    Posted: 31 Dec 07

    I remember high school. None of the black guys wanted to date me, they all wanted to date the white girls. Does that mean they were taught to self-hate? No, by numbers alone there were 8 black guys in the whole school and I was one of 3 total black girls. So, should they have all wanted to date me?? I don't think so. Now I walk down the street and see black guys with black, hispanic, white, asian and indian or middle eastern girls. And vice versa and every version in between. I think this new generation is really getting the point. Whatever 'color' you prefer, we are all still one thing and one thing only: HUMAN. I realize that this concept is hard to get because American and European society teaches this to us from day one. But we are all human, not some totally unrelated species, based purely on what the outside color of our skin is, the curl of our hair, or the shape of our eyes. If that was the case, My mom would be Asian and White as well as Black. Her eyes are shaped just like asians and she's a pale color and her hair was red when she was born. History has enlightened us that all of us came from similar origin. So, trace your family tree and tell me that there is not one white person in a 'Black' family. Do the same with 'White' people and tell me the same... It just won't happen. Oh, and think about this: When a male dog sees a female dog in the park, does it say before it humps the female; Are you the same species as me? lol

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  10.   ball123 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    Lynn335...LOL, do you really believe everyone will be one colour? You are so, Funny.

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  11.   Lyn335 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    I forgot to add this: Dating should be a matter of man and woman (or whatever), not black or white, yellow or green, etc. Genetically in a few generations (ok...maybe longer) we will all be the same color. What's gonna happen then? Prejudice by hair color, weight, age...let's spend more time finding that special person than beating this dead horse again.

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  12.   Lyn335 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    Linny is right (my opinion...sorry). Let's all just try to understand each other. Race should be a non-issue.

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  13.   linny98 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    whenis this all gonna stop, we are here looking for the one person to be with,in terms of a complete happinss,not because of their colour..what ever our preference are..and on the dating site selection, i think i s best if they list it plain and simple..man and a woman..fullstop.everyone who visit whatever site, all know what preference they after..i do not think there is even a need to clarify or distinguish people by colour..whats with all,caribean black, african american,black of non african decent..all this is just to even discriminate between all people of colour, mind u even caucasian of european decent, all this is just crap..there are whites born in africa, why is the no reference to them too, e.g white of african decent..does that mean that is not white is too good to come from africa?..

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  14.   Rivax says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    I think that online dating has nothing to do with racism... we are dating on a virtual world and the virtual often reflects the real world... The virtual can erase the real. But the online dating site enhances prejudices on skin colour, body shape, visible and invisible handicaps etc... I really mean that a beautiful woman is beautiful in any colour, red,yellow, black, green,rose, blue, white... a sensual woman is sensual in any flavour... I myself like the woman first, her personality,her body and maybe her skin colour if it is smooth...

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  15.   Lyn335 says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 07

    I am a white male and I love black women. If this makes me a racist I give up! At the end of the day we all have preferences. Some like tall and thin, some like big and beautiful, etc. Let's face it, we all do that! I am sorry if that offends anyone. I don't want to spend my life with someone because it is expected of me. I want to be with someone that I feel at ease with and who loves me. My relationships with black women have been nothing short of wonderful. I remain devoted to ladies of color!

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  16.   ball123 says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    ladylight...preference is simply another take on racism. Only, this time it is from within. ok, you prefer black guys good for you and yes, i agree with you I do not believe white guys really care about your "prefer".

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  17.   ladylight says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    Preference is now seen as racism? We cant like everyhing and everyone. Because I am black and brothers want to date women of other race, does that has to offend me? Cause  dont feel left out. Why do some women do then? It is not even about that. It is about what you like in a man. I like a man who I can talk to, relate to, a man with a different cultural background atracks me a lot. My own race, well for me it feels like, been there, done that, with exeptions ofcourse. Should I be hung for that? No, it just makes me, me. And we should not winge on about how we feel discriminated by others because they are not into us. There are many that do like us. And we should feel blessed.

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  18.   ExitDetroit says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    Huh!!!!!????

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  19.   riverrunsred says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    Racism is the one thing that keeps this country and world from moving forward. I am so tired of my family asking me " Hey Riv, Why do you like black girls". That in a whole is what this world is about. I then return ask them why do you like white women. That will usually have them starrin and the floor or change of subject real fast.

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  20.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    Seems to me idicus, you have what is called "HIDDEN RACISM" (said with a loud echo please). "Redneck town, if you can find 1 black person with in 15 miles, they are driving thru at 80 mph". Thats funny! Screams racism, against your own. Real people know that if a black persons goes thru a town that has "REDNECKS" they aren't doing 80mph, because that means they will get stopped. Those of us who knows what that means you can fill in the blanks. My point to some people making statements are clear and I am sure understood. The reason why I would smack my son for saying the stuff I read is, how could you say things about a person who resembles the person who carried you for 9 months and raised you for 21 years. I am to be celebrated not berated, or belittled. Also I don't find grace in putting down black men, because my father is black, and I have respect for him, because without him I would not be here. Food for thought, I was always told, "to SEE where you are going, you must KNOW where you come from. idicus, get clued in , you are excatly the topic of the blog. Dating sites encouraging racism. Your blog screams it, and not only in black but white as well. Oh yeah idicus, dreads made a comeback, like, 15 years ago. Looking more and more white he says, what is your ideal of looking more and more white idicus? Weaves, psst, white girls get weaves, and they go hard too with the glue and wefts of hair so what are you implying, that we are looking more and more white. Heres another one for you idicus, white girls get corn rows to, next time you venture out of the "redneck town" you live in , go down to the beaches in the carribbean and see who's sitting there getting their hair braided. Watch this one ladies, he is just here to sample..lol Stay true to yourself! Out!

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  21.   idicus says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 07

    *grumbles* i blogged 1/2 of what i wrote out of screen.....didnt even get to the fun part....*grins evilly* at least i can tell when i need to shut up eh?

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  22.   Freedom says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 07

    One site that absolutely does spread racism at the site administration level is the free dating site called Plenty of Fish. If you sign up on that site as African-American, you will see your profile ethnicity listed as Black. That wouldn't be so bad if when you did a search by ethnicity all peoples other than African descendents were listed by geographic ethnicity (Caucasian, Asian, Middle Eastern) but instead of African the term Black is used. I even wrote the site administrator to explain that this special treatment sends an unconscious message to the millions of people using the site that says that all people come from somewhere on Earth, except Black people. This is the most pernicious sort of racism, the kind that does brainwashing without people even knowing they are mentally being influenced. I explained in my letter to the admin that he surely didn't want to be spreading racism, given how much harm it has done in the lives of so many people. His response was to leave Black in the list without adding African, but change Caucasian/White to just Caucasian and add a second white choice of European. My response was to change my ethnicity on my profile to Other Ethnicity, since I consider myself to be African, not black. Black is a political concept, just as white it, while African and European/Caucasian is an actual ethnicity.

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  23.   Ball123 says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 07

    Idicus...you know darn well there are females who were taught the "smile and laugh" and "Tell the guy what he wants to hear" theories. Marry the richer guy and have the blk. stud as a side dish. These types of behaviors are still happening. Many Asian and wht. females are the experts... actually, good for them. If you are going to lay with a guy one may as well get something out of it and there are men who will agree.

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  24.   idicus says:
    Posted: 28 Dec 07

    ExitDetroit--- i agree with Some of the things you have said. i cant stand rap or hiphop for 1 reason, its a insult to women (well rock can do it alot too.. thats why i enjoy the music, but never watch the videos)YET there are some rappers out there that respect black women...Will Smith is one i will Always listen too, although most of my black co-works will laugh when i tell them they should listen to him instead of 50-cent and P-Diddy.its that sad. and i also have to agree...hmm last time a saw a black woman with dreadlock or a fro? hmmm 25+ years ago? black women are looking more and more white with their hair...(which i cant say anything about, maybe they like it cause its easier to manage or ? i keep my hair Short myself.) DeeAnn--In other words, do what you have to do to get the man. Play up to the guy. Whatever he says smile and laugh. play Up to a guy? i would perfer a woman just to let her personality catch my attention.... VT33--Lets keep this on the real, how many people really need to go to a "interracial dating site" to meet black or white. NO ONE! I think it is a little out there when the question is presented, "your preference". hmmm! hmmm ME, im white and moved to a SMALL town in redneck part of Texas(took job offer from Monster.com)....if you can find 1 and i really MEAN 1 black person within 15 miles of me they are driving through the area at 80 miles an hour. I know this much my son ever comes home, talking some of this crap that I read to day I will smack him so hard, his blood line that started in Africa will feel it.

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  25.   nfpexec says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    I dont think asking the question regarding race encourages racism. Either you are a racist or you arent. Personally, I read the entire profile with preferences before I respond to an email. I am annoyed at men who check off every box BUT African American, but if he does contact me, I tell him directly that I am not interested because he's not doing me a favor by responding to my profile. I am just as direct with them. I will respond if a man leaves the boxes unchecked or doesnt specify. The sites dont encourage racism they just bring out the truth that someone may be hiding and spares me the trouble of rooting it out at a later time and wasting my time.

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  26.   deeann says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    New Year, New start! A reminder to all ladies and teen girls...Love yourself enough not to allow anyone to be abusive to you.

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  27.   deeann says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    STANDING OVATION FOR VT.

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  28.   vt33 says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    Wow this blog is pulling the dirt out the clothes! Lets get to the nitty gritty. Truth, black, white, puerto rican, pink, purple, yellow, green. Yes it is color, culture what have you. Dating sites, do they encourage racism? In the broad scheme of things yes they do! Simply because of the words that are tagged to the websites addy, hence black love, yadda yadda. Its like the addy, sugadaddy.com, of course we all know what a "sugadaddy"is and there are women who are in search of them. Freedom to seek love, is everyones God given right. Yet society of course says, yes and no to what is acceptable. Lets keep this on the real, how many people really need to go to a "interracial dating site" to meet black or white. NO ONE! I think it is a little out there when the question is presented, "your preference". hmmm! Everyone resides in a location where both races and a few more are clearly present so to date outside of "your race" isn't a hard thing. I have read a few of these blogs and some of you got some issues here. Beyounce, being numbers below Lindsay and people are pissed at that. Dumb me thinking, what more can I do to stop global warming! Dude, with the whole, "Carribean Black women and Afro-American sisters". First off, we are all "women" the need to seperate both cultures appears to be somthing that you are into. Keep in mind Mike, we all got captured around the same time on the coast of Africa, some just went further south and some made it to American shores, so we are all "BLACK WOMEN" no need to seperate the two. I find that a insult just saying, women and sister, it's like you are putting one above the other, and we are all the same. BLACK WOMEN! Perhaps you need to be honest about which you prefer, carribbean or american women? Nothing wrong with picking which you perfer, be honest! To the blogger, who made reference to his preference of all races and he gets flack! Here one for you and you really need to ask yourself this on the serious note, the other day , two gentlemen where at my job, and two ladies were sitting on the opposite side of them, I came thru doing my duties, and the both of them were trying to clown me, to impress the two ladies sitting across from them. I knew what the game was, I have been a part of this many many times before, and I am just the one to stand up and let you know that sh**t don't fly over here! To try and clown a black woman in front of white women seems to be the game that men like to play.."impress them", "belittle her" and then when black women pick up on it, and turn the tables it is called "flack" or "hating". Here's a little secret, a lot of black women aren't hating or giving you flack because you choose to date outside of the race. It's you, because you act a fool, when you see a different race and you already say in your mind, "she gonna act like this, so let me put my defensive up", lot of black women are and have already "jumped the fence", so it is moreless ego that is giving you the "flack". Oh yeah and EXIT, I am a big fan, Van Morrison, The Doors, Kenny Rogers, Tom Jones, Skynard, Seal and a host of other music. I dig Japanese, food and am a fan of anything that can be Tempuraed, I like seaweed paper, not a fan of caviar,(a little to salty for me) but can eat it on one of those swanky crackers. I like Indian food, Thai, Vietnames, Italian, oh yeah Gourmet food, really isn't a big deal, most of it is southern infused anyway. Southerns been putting bacon, on everything for years all of a sudden now, bacon wrapped shrimp, is gourmet, frying somthing in duck fat is gourmet. Putting, sauce on chicken is gourmet, and most of the sauce, is nothing but preserved fruit, which last I check, is a southern thing. Fish and Shitake mushrooms, gourment. Last I checked, eggs used to be fried in bacon grease, fish was always served with grits, and mushroom soup always had cream and some sort of pork fat in it. This months Essences stated black women were ranked pretty high on how much money black women spend on fashion. Keep in mind, a lot of black women do wear 500 dollar shoes, and carry bags outside of Coach, I personally am a big fan of Cole Hann, and Marc Jacobs. Last I checked, I cut all my hair off so it would look good when its wet and I can whip it back into shape real quick. I also like how you just put down black women from the begining to the end of your blog. Nice going EXIT you just did the same thing Kanye, Maury, music video, and society has done. Labeled us below nothing. Read Cane River,by Lalita Tademy, and see what happans in society, when you try to change and filter to make somthing better, you still aren't accepted, by your own and others. Keep in mind EXIT there are a lot of black women out there who are trying to impress "your type", to no end, bypassing child bearing years, getting PH.D's, so they can get these six figure positions, spending thousands of dollars on weaves, half a years salary on fashion, to be told they are good at making the "ugly face". No one, loves black women, like black women loves themselves. Yes black women loves themselves more, than anyone else in the world. We are not viewed sexy, beautiful, desireable anymore. Strip clubs, porn, music video, Kanye West, Maury Povich show, and people, these factors don't all put the spotlight on us in a very postive light. I'll leave it at this, doesn't matter who you are and where you come from, racism doesn't have to be stated bam in your face, by a dating site as you can see from the bloggers, the seed has already been planted and it is growing at alarming rates. No photosynthesis needed. Just shows racism, will never die. I know this much my son ever comes home, talking some of this crap that I read to day I will smack him so hard, his blood line that started in Africa will feel it. I guess some evil will come from this blog towards me. So I have to put on my thick skin..lol Till the next episode!

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  29.   mikecharlie says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    If I may reverse this a bit; I'm finding that Carribean Black women living in the New York City area respond to me at least twenty to one as do their Afro-American sisters. Any reason for this or is it just by chance happening?

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  30.   fala says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 07

    Yes Mossimo, it happens to women too. :-(

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  31.   litlemermaid says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Happy Holidays all

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  32.   deeann says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    ExitDetroit...most blk. females are honest about their feelings. Some men do not have a problem with real honesty...not that other race females are not straight forward. Their are blk. females who like wear dreads and so do their men. However, most other race females are taught to keep their opinions to themselves and some other race females read and study the behavir of blk. men- I have seen other race females buy a certain magazine that is usually read by blk. females...what is that all about? In other words, do what you have to do to get the man. Play up to the guy. Whatever he says smile and laugh. On the other hand, whatever floats your boat just be honest about it. Men scrutinize all races of females way too much.

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  33.   ExitDetroit says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Hmmm..Very interesting topic! I'm a black man who loves ALL women of all nationalities and hues. BUT...(despite the flack i will get from sistas for saying this) i will tell the truth as a lot of black men who date other women see it. Including myself. IMO, it has a lot less to do with appearance, and more to do with attitude towards life. I'm a chef, skilled in French, and Japanese cuisines among others. I've lost count of how many times an evening special of gourmet food was presented to my (mostly black female) waitstaff, only to be responded to with an ugly snarled face. My sistas (black women) are exceptionally good at making ugly faces. Mention an unfamiliar food..ugly face! Mention that you like anything other than R&B (rock for example)..ugly face! Talk about the fact that you (me) used to have long dreadlocks..ugly face!..etc..etc..It's this kind of attitude towards life, coupled with the fact that most black women simply can't afford to dress and look as nice as a lot of other women, (not their fault in many cases) that turns intelligent open minded brothas off. And me personally.. LOVE a sista with dreads, braids, an afro..ANYTHING but that bouncin and behavin (chocolate covered white girl) look. (which will also keep them from enjoying the beach or pool with you) I would guess that 99% of black women these days would not be caught dead with a nappy head. But i like women who are authentic with their cultural look. Tell a sista how good she would look with some locks, and what do you get? The ugly face! Now i know that as far as black people go, a lot of our behaviors and attitudes are remnants of racism/slavery itself. But this is the 21st century..and who wants to deal with that mess. Get smart allready people! It can get downright exhausting AND lonely waiting and looking for that progressive sista to come along. Then along comes a white female who doesn't mind that you like sushi, she likes it too. Doesn't think your'e wierd for being a black guy listening to rock & roll. (because they actually UNDERSTAND that rock IS black culture anyway) They see your dread locks and just want to touch them instead of thinking they are nasty or whatever. And the BIG thing!!! Many of them (white females) are not as hard pressed for a brotha to be doing better than they are financially. And this, people is how it happens. Now i can't speak for the white males who run the media..thus..Brittney..Lindsay..and Paris 24/7, but i do believe that once sistas worldwide start loving themselves more..so will everyone else.

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  34.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Merry Christmas to all.

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  35.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Its funny how some women make assumptions on other sites that you prefer a white woman because you are white without even bothering to read the profile. Am sure it happens to women as well.

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  36.   fala says:
    Posted: 26 Dec 07

    Merry Christmas, My Fellow Bloggers!

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  37.   Starthai says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Hi Glock, nice to see you back posting:)

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  38.   idicus says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Thursday Dec 20 Anna wrote: Tell me why Beyonce is at number 16 (I think or number 13) on the Maxim Hot 100 List of 2007, and yet Lindsey Lohan is proudly at number 1??? oh thats so easy to answer.....Beyonce is a Adult Woman that respects herself......while Lindsey Lohan is a whore and a drug addict

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  39.   idicus says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Lord where to begin eh? Hmmm well as a White Man that has dated just about every race so far and/or had a minimum 1 year relationship with i can say this: --Me a racist? YEP, its all in how you treat yourself and everyone else Regardless of race! you work hard everyday? pay your bills? take care of Adult Responibilites? ect? then your a White/Black/Asian/Spanish Adult! NOW if you get in trouble with the Law, do drugs, cant hold a job....and have a excuse WHY you "cant get a job" all the time....well take every racial word that can be insulting and thats how i look at you (and that covers every race when i look.) Take your Pick on how you wish to be treated! Also one of the ways you dress is also a factor...Dress like a Thug? im going to treat you with the contempt like one! Want to be White shave your head and Look likea racist Skinhead and be accused of it? tough! you chose the look, Deal with it!. “Do dating sites encourage racial prejudice?᾿ from what ive seen from 2 other Sites? YEP! cant find a black female that sounds intresting enought to talk to cause they are few and far between(i mean very few black people register with these sites). Thats why today i joined this site.....and its a far more active site than the other 2 combined. i know i missed out saying alot of what i really wanted to cover but this is on the spur post while reading all the blogs. eh? *shrug* look to the future, yet remember the mistakes made in the past. Merry Christmas All, Mateo

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  40.   deeann says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    jungle...the truth stings.

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  41.   Jungle says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Love life and romance vs. misunderstanding and fear.....do you really need to debate?.....Merry Christmas everyone! Hope your season brings us singles closer to couple....

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  42.   Jungle says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    PLEASE!!!!! Don't don't even try to tie racism with romance!.... I am here on the site cause of ATTRACTION! Racism is based on fear and not understanding...I know we all go to extremes to find and prove to the one we love......But Racism?...lets not taint the sheild of true romance with accusations.Romance is a belief of attraction desire attitude and action not built on fear on stepping out side the box of hate is stepping outside your everyday norm comfort zone to grasp life and love away from the ordinary grind. Racism is not and understanding....is a miss understanding. If yall wanto diesect and interracial romance with hypothesis when feeling should be more taken into consideration then maybe you should listen to the heartbeat of an individual ( and we all are our own person) Is not a poll or a senus nor a percentage... Everybody feels and has attractions and desires... is what drives us and gives us hope and future within ourselves...

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  43.   deeann says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    doccwg...too much eggnog? Relax! Between the 60's and 70's every where you went one could hear the phrase, "Black is Beautiful" that saying was instilled in me. Therefore, I innately believe I am just as good as any other race of female. Some men are openingly being prejudice with their choice of females. Some actually believe they are moving up when they choose the other race? Ok...just remember one day some of those same guys are going to come looking for a great blk. female and she will not be there waiting the way she used to. Press on and do not worry so much about what "they say".

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  44.   doccwg says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Do black men have more respect for "other" women?yes 16 41% bw dont respect themselves 16 41% we try to respect bw 4 10% most of the time we do 3 7% Current Total 39

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  45.   doccwg says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    Thursday Dec 20 Anna wrote: Tell me why Beyonce is at number 16 (I think or number 13) on the Maxim Hot 100 List of 2007, and yet Lindsey Lohan is proudly at number 1??? I want to cry and I know you guys will think I am crazy but, it just seems to me that it doesn't matter how light or dark, successful or intellegent a black woman is - she will never be given the equal share of all the world has to offer as her white counterparts will. When I think about it - I just want to break down sometimes because, I can't believe life is this damn hard for black people!!!! It's not even about the list, it's just the everyday struggle that black women face just to receive a fraction of success. Beyonce has to work her butt off, touring all over the darn place just to stay on top, yet Paris, Lohan, and now this 16 year old sister of Brittney Spears, do nothing but flash their "God-Givens" and they are the best thing known to man - they don't have to bust their butts life Beyonce. I am sick of it. Exactly, Anna. Even though there's a preference for light skin in the African American community, compare to White, Latina, Asian, and, Indian women, I hate to say this, but light-skinned black women will always be at the bottom of the barrel just like their dark-skinned black sisters. That goes to show you, Anna. We can't talk about light skin and dark skin anymore because BLACK WOMEN OF ALL SHADES ARE BEING S****ED ON!!!!!! I mean, black women of all shades noawadays are the butt of jokes nowadays. Black women was always degraded, but not in higher levels as now!!!!! At least black women back in the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 90s were represented in a positive way. We're living in a time when even light-skinned black women ain't good enough anymore. First it was dark-skinned black women, then brown skinned black women, and now light skinned black women!!!!! Let's face it, Anna. No matter what shade we are, we are still considered the least attractive in the broader society. That's screwed up. How can you put ugly ass Linday Lohan over Beyonce???? Are you kidding me?????

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  46.   Raqsi says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    At the end of the day people want what they want. If you're not interested in a Black women, let me know. I agree that it's frustrating to see every box BUT Black checked off, but it saves us from wasting time. If it's one thing I can't stand it's someone who pretends to be open to all races when they clearly have preferences. I think people being able to check a box allows us to be more honest with others (and ourselves) than we would be if we were all in a bar or a club. And hey, I live in the DC area. I've never had a problem meeting Black men. I'm on this site because I'm open to other races too!

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  47.   fala says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    God bless us, every one!

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  48.   Babiegurl says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    I dont know if racism is encouraged on these dating sites, but I know as a black woman who is interested in dating someone regardless of race, I find it extremely discouraging when I go to the more popular dating websites and I see every ethnicity checked for a preferred woman to date EXCEPT black women...I am like what is wrong with dating an African American woman? It's degrading and frustrating...Like black women are not worthy or deserving of a white, Asian, Hispanic, or East Indian man's affection....

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  49.   CocoBeBee says:
    Posted: 25 Dec 07

    I do not date in order to be consider not racist. How dumb is that? I date someone because I am attracted to them. I look at them and think he is sexy. He speaks and I think gawd he is smart too. Really how can you think I could be standing there think I wonder if he considers me non racist for talking to him. Dating preference can be changed but I dont think it should be based on what others think of us. It should be because we want to get to know the person NOT their race.

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  50.   Glock says:
    Posted: 24 Dec 07

    I think in American society that we have developed a culture that encourages people to classify everyone as a racist. Even whites who 20 or 30 years ago were put on the defensive and bent over backward to convince someone of color that they were not racist. Now even whites are more inclined to use the accusation of racist and prejudice than they ever were in history. Why is that? Because the accusation works. It gets attention. It does put people on the defensive. But it's used way to much in situations that doesn't even warrant it. It is human nature to desire to associate with people like ourselves. But it's also huan nature to be drawn to someone that we find attractive, regardless of "race". Some people are open and some people are exclusive to their own or another race because that is what their preference is. And what is wrong with that? We always want to judge people based on what our own idea of how the world should function. If we want to break it down as far as a "racial" preference, then how about those who don't want to date someone obese, tall, short, skinny, etc., we exclude these people as well but only question it when it comes to the issue of someones race.

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