Does she baby you?

Posted by Ria, 08 Dec 08

Why is it that at the first indication of a committed relationship, a woman tends to treat her man as a child?

This is somewhere along the list of things men don’t understand about women. The thing is, when the relationship is casual, most women are usually more flexible and accommodating. But once a dude declares his commitment, it’s like some kind of switch in her head gets flipped and she becomes mummy No. 2. Much as most admit that there are certain benefits that come with being babied (like the nurturing affection), the disadvantages (the nagging, the endless lectures) outweigh that affection most men crave for.

“The person you have sex with should not remind you of the person who gave birth to you”, says one dude. This could kill a relationship.

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One thing we have to understand is that this nurturing instinct is a woman’s inherent biology. And much as most women who don’t have children would really love to fight it, they tend to project this motherliness to the closest person in need … their spouses. Much as some aren’t born with this nurturing instinct, most of us just feel the need to take care of something … or someone. When the mothering is about making soup when you are sick, listening to you whine about your boss after work, most men welcome it. But when she is constantly nagging you about picking up your socks… :roll:

Is it possible to prune her motherly behavior in the bud and get her back to her flexible self where you were equal partners?

My advice: If she treats you like a child, counter that behavior by acting all manly, independent and self-sufficient. That ought to nip her mummy instincts till you two have kids of your own. Whatchu think?

5 responses to "Does she baby you?"

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  1.   Tim78 says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 09

    Its of significance that a relationship is built on trust & understaning,when any social engagement becomes an act,it erases all the confidence that would have ordinarily cemented it.If you are uneasy with an element of your relationship,feel free to share it out with your partner.

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  2.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 04 Jan 09

    knot as a child , rather as one who needs guidance to do everyday cookin ' / too many cooks - one kitchen . P.S. it will change for the better time time n ' time again

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  3.   whurr says:
    Posted: 11 Dec 08

    Vivacious1 ... would love for you to mother me. I will be honest..I am interested. I want you to smother me. Stop banging your head against the wall, I know what I want.

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  4.   Vivacious1 says:
    Posted: 10 Dec 08

    I completely agree with Superlite. Why can't we have more honesty in relationships? Tell me exactly what you want instead of making me bang my head against the wall to figure it out. Why can't we communicate more? Why do we have to play these games? If you're not interested, be honest and tell the person. Don't shut down. It's rude and it's hurtful. Men know women nurture. It's in our DNA. But if your woman is "smothering" you - tell her. I'm sure she'll be more than happy to back off. Thanks for the commentary!

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  5.   Superlite27 says:
    Posted: 08 Dec 08

    "If she treats you like a child, counter that behavior by acting all manly, independent and self-sufficient. That ought to nip her mummy instincts till you two have kids of your own. Whatchu think?" Counter? This terminology already suggests "confrontation" or "contest". Not a very good outlook on changing behavior in what should be a partner not an opponent. You also suggest "acting" all manly. I suggest, a real man wouldn't need to act. I personally reccommend complete honesty. What's wrong with a discussion? What's wrong in saying "Baby, we need to talk about something." Then sitting down and hashing over each others expectations? A man would probably get better results by actually stating his likes and dislikes instead of playing yet another game as if his lady was a contestant in a game show. Unless a man is from Hollywood or has a wonderful stage presence, "acting" so she could guess the problem is probably better off left to the professionals. I personally believe the "mothering" instinct isn't a deal breaker. I find it a rather good indicator that a lady has what it takes to be a good mother. Just the thing some of us might like in a potetial mate. So before taking steps to "correct" the behavior, why don't we take the time to make sure this particular behavior is "bad" and in need of correction? Maybe I need to learn how to pick up my damned socks. Whatchu think?

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