We always talk about interracial dating and interracial sex. Well today, let’s take the debate a notch or two higher and pose the following question: Is interracial dating a preference or fetish? And at what level or point does admiration of certain features – say kinky hair, petite stature – become total fetish?
Posted by Ria, April 16th 2008
62 Responses to “Fetish or Preference?”
Evan Marc Katz
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It is easy to spot when it is a fetish. Conversations usually revolve around stereotypes (negative and or positive). Unfortunately this is the picture painted to me by some divorcees with older white men…the ones who have already lived a first life with marriage and children. Based on my interaction with the ones I have dealt with, their new freedom comes with a need to experiment. I refuse to be anyone’s experiment.
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I am a Black female. I know that I have always loved men of every color. I have dated and fallen in love with men from all over the world and from every ethnic group because that was what my heart felt. I believe that society later made me feel ashamed of my preference not to limit myself to only Black men. For me, interracial dating is certainly a preference, but I have had the misfortune to make the acquaintance of more than one white man who proposed to use me as some sort of living cultural experiment. For those men, dating interracially is most certainly a fetish. These type of people, as Anonymous stated on 23 June, tend to rely on stereotypes and have very unrealistic expectations of their partners. I try to steer clear of men, White, Latino, and/or Asian who are hoping that with me they can fulfill some sort of “chocolate fantasy”. I also refuse to be anyone’s experiment.
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I guess the real question is this…if no one wants to be the “experiment” then how do people of different colors date outside their race for the first time?
Sounds a little like “I won’t buy a new car. Let the other guy buy it and take all the depreciation then I get what I want with a few miles on it and don’t take the loss in value” argument. Works for cars not sure about it working for human beings…..
Ken
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You have to be kiddin me. Experiment Im not a science project nor is anyone else. Ok everybody let’s all put blind folds on and try the topic again.
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Um… wow, hahaha! First of all, a fetish is a sexual obsession. Anything can be a fetish, but all fetishes are ABNORMAL OBSESSIONS. So if a white guy likes black women SOLEY for for his own sexual obsession, then yes, he has a fetish for black women. If a white guy likes a black woman because he enjoys her company or finds her attractive, then he simply has an attraction to a black woman. How on earth can someone be stupid enough to confuse a fetish with attraction???!
Again, I’m worried about the original author’s thought process. I’m beginning to think Ria likes posting crap articles for their shock value rather than for an informative and intelligent purpose. I refuse to read anymore of this Ria’s articles. I advise the rest of you to do the same.
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Thanks unknown person, people of all should find pleasure in each other not because of fetish, I think two people should be attracted to each other and get to know each other first and then they will know what the prefrences are. God bless.
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Do Homosexual men and women have gender preferences or fetishes?
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10 years ago I had a relationship with my first ever black man, since then I have not gone with a white guy, so the expression’once you’ve had balck there’s no going back’ is so very true in my case! I find that black guys are more manly and generally in better shape ! Yes, I know that sounds very superficial but it’s ‘my preference’ which is not a fetish !!! Fetishism is based on erotica, rubber, bondage, sado/mach etc etc etc. The two should not be confused !
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I am basically new here and have been checking out a lot of profiles and i noticed that a lot of persons declared that they did not want a person that has not been in an interracial relationship before because they do not want to be someone’s experiment. do you know that you can be in a same race relationship and still be someone’s experiment? I think it is unfair to form a bias like that because in it i can hear anger and resentment. I have never dated interracially not because i never wanted to but i live in a predominately black country and there has never been a opportunity but i have always found men of all races attractive. anyone who has dated interrracially is someone’s first,so i think that to make a statement like that is hypocritical.
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preference is choosing over the other such as choosing to date australian males. most preferences aren’t limited to one option, it’s simply what they desire on “most occasions.”
fetish is an abnormal degree of desire. the lenght people go to attain things such as nice tan, straight hair and so on makes it a fetish not a preference
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For me a fetish is kink. BDSM or any of those associations, and anything that might be an obsession that is out of the ordinary such as exhibitionism. To connotate a preference for black women would be to classify it as an obsessive interest.
The features of a black woman racially, very dark skin, full lips, curvy figure, are very much a turn on but when I am with them, it is not an obessive factor and rarely are the women I engage with part of that fantasy.
I grew up in Miami where the major part of my dating life was with hispanic women and red-haired blue-eyed or green eyed Irish types and also black women. They were much different from my own cultural backgounds and inspired curiousity and interest. White women just were not really interesting unless they were mediterranean types or deep southern belles. Very different, preferences.
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You people talk as if fetish is bad or that it means u can’t love a person and have a fetish for them. I think to better understand this some of u need to know what fetish means because fetish is broad and culturally and socially diff from region to region
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