Grab-and-flee relationships

Posted by Ria, 23 Jan 08

Many women have been known to forsake love and embrace the art of preying on wealthy men to finance their lavish lifestyles. Well nothing comes free!

For gold diggers, the last thing sex is pegged on is love and for some, even physical attraction aint important. All that matters is what they stand to reap from a man under this spell. They are just out to get as much as they can. They, therefore, operate in their relationships on a ‘grab-and-flee’ basis. And besides the gold digger label, these women have also earned the tag of a tick that feeds on the unsuspecting prey until they have their feel before moving on to the next victim.

I remember the days when the term used to paint a picture of a young, curvaceous bombshell that went after a moneyed, wrinkled octogenarian who had no idea what to do with his money. Think Anna Nicole Smith, a stunning blonde – then 26 - who got married to 89-year-old billionaire J. Howard Marshall in 1994. 18 months later he was dead and Anna, in order to win some lengthy court battle for his estate against his son, insisted that her marriage to Marshall was not motivated by money – we all know better.

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Some people however don’t agree with the tick version arguing that the relationship between a gold digger and that tycoon is symbiotic … both parties stand to benefit and that is why such a relationship actually takes off.

“It is hypocritical to say that it is the woman who takes advantage of the rich man. Every man in such a relationship is aware that it is all about his money and in return he gets himself a woman who is indispensable, attends to his every whim and treats him like a king.᾿

There is an evolution with the gold digging art. Nowadays, people don’t seek the ‘Marshalls’ coz there are thousands of young millionaires. And the 21st century gold digger isn’t school dropout but a well educated woman with a degree or two under her belt and a stable job – and oozing an aura of class. Who wouldn’t want to be seen walking around with such a woman even when she is milking you dry?

Like I said … nothing comes free. And landing a rich one won’t take a wink in some club, or bumping into one at a supermarket. That only happens in the movies. Research goes into this search – where do the rich men hang out? And since a bar will get you noticed will all the wrong men, the tick has to upgrade her socializing haunts and start frequenting the joints for the rich. This entails spending a tidy sum of money, at least before she catches the attention of a moneyed man.

Since most rich men belong to the club of being cultured, the woman is expected to exude sophistication and class (translation – live a lie) so f your idea of standing out means dying your hair green, you don’t cut it. Every choice one makes comes with a price and responsibility and for the gold digger; it is greater than the ordinary woman whose relationship is motivated by anything else but money. There is the part of being at his beck and call at all times … fatigue is inexcusable. And despite all the trapping of wealth, there is always the constant fear of some other woman upstaging her.

Obviously gold digging as become an acceptable hobby with several dating websites exclusively created for gold diggers and the men who love them. The man must verify his fortune and this is listed so the woman will know exactly how much he has to spend on her. I was totally amazed when I heard about one site and had to go look for myself, I was sure there would be lots of pirahnas....oops women...but not many men, boy was I wrong, there are probably MORE men than women and their ages range from their 20's right through to late 70's...It did get me wondering which guy would be more popular :)

I also found that gold digging is no longer exclusively a woman’s domain. With more women scaling the corporate ladder and earning six digit salaries and an impressive number own their own businesses, a few ambitious men are turning the tables going after the wealthy women with one intention only … getting their money.

So, do such men adjust their lifestyles to suit that of their women? Do they also live in constant fear of another one luring the rich mama or is it the other way round? Who is the king – or queen for that matter?

Tags: gold digger

Responses to "Grab-and-flee relationships"

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  1.   frankyrland says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 08

    hello how are you doing,acttally am here for business trasanction which me and you we benefit alot from it and i need someone who is honest that can handle ti for me ...So are you honest and can i trust ni you??

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  2.   whitelion says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Why all the semantics? If you have sex with someone for money,you are you called a...gold digger, trophy wife... or a prostitute?.Pretty much the same thing. The only difference is gold diggers dont usually have a pimp and they have better make-up.This whole thing reminds me of Charlie Sheen's response to a question put to him by David Letterman on why his name was in Heidi Fleiss' little black book implicating him as a frequent customer. David asked why it is that a young,handsome,famous Movie star would require the use of a call girl service.Charlie looked at David and with complete clarity said..."That's exactly my point Dave, I KNOW that girls all KNOW I have money.So I am not paying women to have sex with me,I'm paying them to leave after I have sex with them" Food for thought.

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  3.   27606nikki says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    First of all, the problem here is the intention when giving and I think both sexes have it wrong at times. If you are giving anything in life with the expectation of gratitude from the recipient or to stroke your own ego, you are bound to be disappointed. Life owes you nothing. Sincere giving has nothing to do with how it benefits YOU. People who complain about gold digging or even women who feel men use them for sex are giving with expectations and strings attached. Think about it, guys. Did you lavish her with gifts, offer to pay her rent, take her on trips because you genuinely cared, because you thought it would guarantee you sex or because you wanted an ego boost knowing that you were improving her quality of life (in your mind)? Women, did you share your body with that man because you felt a strong emotional connection, because you needed your bills paid, or because you felt he'd forsake all other women for you? What were your motives? Chances are if you gave with the spirit of giving you will never be disappointed. But if you will feel bitter and taken advantage of if someone doesn't give thanks or doesn't give what you secretly felt owed for your efforts, you shouldn't give anything at all. You will rarely be pleased with the return on your "investment". Unfortunately, too many men feel the need to immediately tell you all about their signs of wealth as if you are the IRS. It amazes me how quick some guys are to tell you about their assets after only a few emails or one phone call. Guys, don't reduce your personal value down to your bank balance and others won't either. Finding the right person takes time. Be patient and trust that you can be loved for who you are rather than what you own.

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  4. Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Further to the above, why should the relationship of a so called "gold digger" be any more illegitimate than other relationship?

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  5. Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Hi, This interesting, but it does get me wondering if we don't all seek "gold" from a partner whether that gold be their their education, their friends, their family, their looks, the way they present themselves, their cultural background etc. Should it be wrong to desire someone for their money as opposed to their looks or their charm? The point i'm getting at is, we all have different wants and needs, different capabilites; and it seems we form partnerships to satisfy each others wants and needs, first, and to increase mutual capability. So the so called "gold digger" is given too hard a time just because they are aware of their needs and wants and pursue their satisfaction; is this wrong?

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  6.   dusi says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 08

    this is very interesting.

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  7.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 08

    Fala and Fran...y'all know y'all are wrong...LOL!

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  8.   fala says:
    Posted: 25 Jan 08

    LOL@Fran yeah, I'm off to bed too!

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  9.   Fran42 says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    Ok just re read what I sent should not be making comments after 13 hours of working. some words got lost in between lol but its late and I am not up to trying again.....have to get my gold diggers beauty sleep LOL LOL j/k.

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  10.   Fran42 says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    Looks to me that people are assuming that rich men are idiots when it comes to women. rich men didnt get there by being idiots and they are grown ups and know what it is that they are getting into. I doubt very much that it is easy being a "trophy wife" which to me is what a 'gold digger " which me to sounds like the trade off for both parties involved,I say live and let live.

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  11.   fala says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    Good point about the sexist take on it HereIamBaby. I was thinking the exact same thing. It's just as easy for a man to use a woman for her money as it is for a woman to use a man for his.

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  12.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 24 Jan 08

    What goes around comes around. Women that take advantage of and use men will get what's coming to them and vice versa.

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  13.   hershey1 says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 08

    It boggles the mind to hear that society is utilizing such a juvenile term as "gold-digger." Such terms are uttered by men that cannot or will not provide the lifestyle to make the women in their lives feel secure and comfortable. And women use this term if they have never or have decided to not have men provide a secure and comfortable lifestyle for them. I am both a traditional and modern woman. Sometimes that can be complicated for men. I prefer the man to be the bread winner, but at the same time I am educated and have the choice to work inside or outside of the house. Even today, society has trouble seeing the value of housewives. There is this ever present competition of housewives versus women who work outside of the home. And unfortunately, women continue to feed into this senseless comparison that continues to keep us (women) apart. The truth of the matter is most women are not going out of their way to date an uneducated, homeless man and most men are not going out of their way to date an uneducated, "quasi-modo" looking woman. Simply put: Everybody has preferences that may not be accepted by others. By the way, everybody knows that people who complain about others do so because they are NOT happy in their own lives (smile). Find your preference and be prepared to standby it. As long as you and your partner are fine with it, that is all that matters. Good Luck To Everyone On Your Search Hershey1

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  14.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 08

    WHY is it that a woman is called a GOLD DIGGER and men are only called Jigalows [hope I spelled that correctly]?????? Once again sexist words...developed by men... Now, don't think I haven't missed the subject matter. Here is my take on it... FOR ever action...there is a reaction! If it is negative that is what you will get back. But, I do feel that there is something of a give and take in this type of arrangement, coz face it, can we actually call it a relationship? Are there feeling involved??? Anna Nicole Smith said that of all the men she was with, that she loved J. Howard Marshall the most...that he gave her the most. And I do not think that she was talking about monetary, either. Who know what goes on behind closed doors. Good luck in your search. Southern smiels and wrold peace, Sharon

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