How to sexpose yourself

Posted by Ria, 27 Dec 11

sexual fantasiesAre you struggling between not being able to communicate your innermost sexual fantasies to your partner and not wanting to miss out on all the fun and spice these fantasies will bring to your bedroom? Even the best people in the sack find it hard to share their wildest thoughts for fear of how their partner might react. But the thing that intimidates most is the fear of getting turned down. That can crush someone’s sexual spirit.

So before you embark on your kinky reveal, here are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you get out of your sex fantasies closet:

    Your perfect partner could be online right now...

    What are you looking for?

  • Can he/she handle your fantasies or will the sexposition cause more harm than good?
  • Once you come out, your partner might reciprocate. Are you ready to hear his or her freakish sexual world?
  • Is your relationship secure and trusting enough to withstand such a reveal? Will your partner be judgmental?
  • Are you sure you want to expose these inner freakish sexual secrets because once they are out there, you cant undo that.

YourTango expert and sex coach Dr. Dorree Lynn tells us in the video below, how easy you can go about sexposing yourself without having to feel pressured or embarrassed.

You need to hammer it your head that if it goes well, the rewards you will reap are greater than the fear you have. Imagine the spice and variety you can bring into your bedroom. This can salvage a somewhat plain and routine filled sex life. Plus if both of you get to share your thoughts in the process; this can build such closeness and understanding.

Any more strategies on how to reveal your somehow perverted and steamy thoughts with your partner? Feel free to share. But meanwhile, I gotta get Snoop Dogg to do some dirty and nasty to me these holidays. Let me go tell my dude now and have me my Snoop!!! ;-)

6 responses to "How to sexpose yourself"

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  1.   subbob says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 12

    oops i meant SUGAH....sorry, SUGAH! lol.....

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  2.   subbob says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 12

    ahh a subject right up my alley! first dominant partner was in 1974 and through two kink groups in St Louis, i have had the pleasure of meeting hundreds in this lifestyle...several studies that have been done show that 10-12 % of the adult population REGULARLY engages in some form of kink, which translates into millions....Sugar makes some very good points, e.g., communication and negotiation are imperative before embarking into this a group dungeon setting, safety is strictly one is ever forced or coerced into doing something they object to, and the rules are enforced by dungeon a one-on-one situation, there is no substitute for common sense.....although some like to engage in "Breath Play", carotid massage should never be used in this situation, as it can be life-threatening.....MUTUAL consent is the thought i will sign off with.......subbob

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  3.   Curvy_Eden says:
    Posted: 02 Jan 12

    Perhaps another question is less about freaky fantasies and more about "when I think of my partner, I long for these things..." How do you ask "honey, can you do it this way?" without hurting his ego? It's not fantasy as much as desire. Perhaps someone enjoys their partner immensely but his style is not quite "doing it" for her. How does she approach that one without damaging the good thing that IS there?

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    • SugahRush says:
      Posted: 03 Jan 12

      Great question Curvy. Asking for a lover to learn a different technique can be really touchy and tough. Several things have ALWAYS worked for me: First, CHOOSE A SAFE NEUTRAL LOCATION. Open up a dialogue in a neutral setting and when you both are fully clothed...NOT during or in anticipation of the "throes of passion." Second, CREATE A COMMON GROUND/BENEFIT. Invite your partner to share with you a desire or fantasy he may have suppressed. Third, BE POSITIVE... When your partner does something you love SAY SO....OFTEN. Let him know that you love the way he does that or touches this...AND THAT YOU WANT MORE...AND MORE. If you want "less" of something, the principle is the same. "hey, that's nice but THIS IS GREAT...THE GREATEST EVER!!" Not only do you say it...but "put it in writing": a love letter or a loving note will get his attention and prompt his memory. Next, SEEK & SHARE RESOURCES... Share snippets from books, articles etc with your partner which sound interesting to you. Pay special attention to and share, enthusiastically, the scenes which really match your desire. Lastly, and MOST IMPORTANTLY.... PRAISE!! PRAISE!! PRAISE! Praise his performance. Praise his presence ( in your life, heart, etc...)! Praise this Passion! Praise his talents, gifts. If you keep the conversation light and outside the "performance arena", you'll come across as more understanding. Your compliments will encourage him to adjust his own behaviour. Your willingness to hear HIS desires will bolster his confidence. There are some great resources which answer your question. These are tips which I've found useful and successful. Great Successes! SugahRush

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  4.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 30 Dec 11

    Before sharing a meal, couples discuss favorite restaurants, allergies, foods. Before sending a gift, couples discuss favorite colors, stores. Before going to a club, there are infinite conversations about techno vs country or dub vs reggaeton music! We spend hours and hours TALKING about world events; family issues, careers and cheating exes! Many people frequently "Talk Erotic/Sexy/Dirty",but will invest no time on Sexual Substance!! It's incredible that people do not have in-depth discussions about Sexuality and Sexual Expectations. I'm of the opinion that these discussions should be LONG before one is actually considering a sexual encounter. I've found, however, that many lack the ability to have a sexual discussion without becoming aroused--or frustrated. For some, the discussion will "drift" into phone/chat sex encounters. This may be a red flag to be considered. It's good to take turns as "The Designated Driver" in such intimate conversations. The 'Designated Driver' should be able to keep the conversation safe, open, and focused. Discussions should become gradually more intimate, detailed and daring. MOST IMPORTANTLY, each person's preferences as well as 'non-negotiables' should be respected and considered. NEVER ridicule; name-call; or react violently or repulsively--no matter how "strange or deranged" a desire may be. OF COURSE, EXCEPTIONS WOULD BE ACTIVITIES WHICH ARE DANGEROUS, ILLEGAL OR LIMB OR LIFE-THREATENING!! But...ONE PERSON'S FREEDOM IS ANOTHER PERSON'S FREAKY!" (i'm just sayin'....) Open lines of communication is key to the success of any relationship. I, for one, appreciate "FREEDOM OF SPEECH" especially in relationships. In love's Bondage, it's imperative that couples Submit to Mastering safe sexual communication and negotiations.

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  5.   reese says:
    Posted: 27 Dec 11

    If you cannot share a fantasy with your mate without fear of losing them your relationship is already in trouble. You need to be able to discuss sex with them maturely and communiate what you want, desire and expect with each other. And want to share and make their fantasies come true. Unless they are really out of the box. I am not doing any roots slave escaping master, baby diaphers or whatever. But if that is what you need better to know now so you can move on and find someone who can satisfy you.

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