It is funny that I have never really considered my self an expert at much. I have always known that I had an amazing talent, several actually. I knew that I was a great communicator, mentor, teacher and even writer. It just never crossed my mind that I would be considered an expert. But… I am!

Expert defined, ’cause you know I like to do that right? (It’s the teacher in me)…anyway, an expert is “somebody with a great deal of knowledge about, or skill, training, or experience in, a particular field or activity.” That makes a lot of you out there expert daters huh? So, I guess that makes me an expert in dating advice and opinion. Lord knows that I have been doing this for a long time now.

My question is; would someone still be considered an expert at dating if they hadn’t been out on a date in over ten years? Maybe they have been married for twenty years and dated before that, does that still qualify someone to give dating advice today? Dating was a whole lot different back in the 1980’s.

This whole topic came about after a very good friend who is an expert in her field of Broadcasting, (with over twenty years of experience in the corporate world including ten as an entrepreneur). She did an interview with some “experts”. They happen to be educators with enough degrees and credentials to make you feel like you’re back in forth grade being asked to spell Onomatopoeia in front of the whole school.

These fine educators run the business school at a very well respected establishment that happens to offer programs on entrepreneur-ism. Imagine our surprise to learn that not one of these well-educated, highly respected and published individuals ever happened to run or own their own business…ever! So, how can you teach me to be an entrepreneur if you have never been one? Don’t even get me started on the “relationship/marriage” expert that’s not only single, she’s NEVER been married.

It is one thing to learn from books and another thing all together to learn from living. I like to think that my expertise comes from not only reading and doing, but also succeeding. I really offer up more opinion than advise and I hope that the majority of you, (cause there is always one in the crowd), understands the difference. Advice is someone giving you their “opinion” about what you should do. Opinion is simply someone giving you their view based solely on personal judgment or experience.

I will never forget thinking I knew it all as a teen. I even went as far as to ask one of my mom’s friends to “ask me anything”. Thank goodness, he was more interested in impressing her than embarrassing me. As I matured, I learned that the more I knew the more there was to learn. I asked my grand-ma once, at what point in your life do you “get it”? When does it all start to make sense…Life and stuff”? She just looked at me laughed and said, “I’ll let you know when I know”.

So all that to say this is my expert opinion on dating…do it. Do it often. Date who ever you want no matter what color, height, weight, sexual preference, religion, ethnicity, education, what kind of car they drive or neighborhood they live it. Every date is a “blind date” because you never really know someone until you get to know them. Not everyone is who they say they are nor do they have the things they say they’ve got or believe in the things they say they do. Feel with your heart, more than your hands.

As far as being an expert, okay, I’ll admit…I am! I am an expert at being me. I am a beautiful, educated, black woman, with a little extra junk in my trunk (but, I know how to use it). I know how to be a lady and how to treat a man. I know when to hold on and I have learned how to let go. I understand pain enough to know that I prefer pleasure.

My favorite saying is… “I like it when you tell me you love me; I love it when you show me”.

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