Interracial dating: Is this where we at?

Posted by Ria, 28 Sep 09

interracial datingSometimes I tend to write very controversial articles on this site and some of you have been quick to point that out. Well, today isn’t that day. Just want to look into interracial dating trends.

One thing I have noticed is that gender has played a big part in shaping interracial dating trends. Whilst this is kind of a generalization, an article I read the other day says White women are least likely to date Asian men and that White men in the U.S. (not my words) “tend to be least attracted to female African American's.” How true is this?

The article also says that when it comes to online dating, interracial dating is one niche that is still untapped and apparently, statisticians claim this will remain so due to lack of ‘potential demand’. Apparently a considerable number of singles dating online prefer to date “within their own domain.” - Are we doing that badly?

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Much as some interracial couples have issues with their relationships, there are those who have managed to blend their traditions. Here are interracial marriage stats based on the 2008 U.S census:

Black husbands: Married 310,000 white women - Married 4,190,000 black women - Married 39,700 Asian women. White husbands: Married 55,399,200 white women - Married 137,000 black women - Married 713,000 Asian women. Asian husbands: Married 193,000 white women - Married 8400 black women - Married 2,790,000 Asian women.

Even though they say the interracial dating niche is lacking in some way, I believe the internet has contributed a great deal to more interracial dating and marriages. For those singles looking to date outside their race, interracial dating sites take you directly to like minded individuals; you avoid constant negative influence that you might have encountered offline.

Not all stares are bad. So when you get stares from the public when walking with your interracial love, they could be stares of intrigue, fascination and envy. Pat yourself on the back for the contribution you have made to making the world one race – the human race.

95 responses to "Interracial dating: Is this where we at?"

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  1.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Apr 10

    I found your blog on facebook groups. I just added you to my MSN News Reader. Keep up the good work pal! Look forward to reading more from you in the future.

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  2.   Melissa says:
    Posted: 21 Jan 10

    The thing about dating is that it all comes down to your mentality, on how you see it. I have had this wonderful dating experience which might be quite surprising for many people who read this.

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  3.   kath09 says:
    Posted: 11 Jan 10

    I totally agree with you last statement. right on!

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  4.   carmelswrl says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 10

    @MST I have to agree I too have always been accused of not acting"black enough" and find myself having more in common with other than black men. All I want is to do is be able to find love and love who I'm with and if that just so happen to be a man of the caucasion persuasion or any other so be it

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  5.   carmelswrl says:
    Posted: 10 Jan 10

    I was dating a Chinese man and I can tell you the stares were overwhelming at times. I have to say that America is the most closed minded place when it come to interracial dating/marriage. Having live in Europe and several other US states such as California and Minnesota it is more common to see Black men with every other race. I look forward to the day when the word race(referring to color of ones skin) is obliterated from the dictionary. I for one have always dated other than black me because they seem to be far more passionate and able to communicate feelings far more than the majority of black men that I have came across. I'm not saying all black men are unable to do so that's just my experience.

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  6.   MST says:
    Posted: 09 Dec 09

    I keep on hearing about how white men do not find black women attractive, but my first husband was white. I am on a few other sites which do not specialize in interracial relationships and have received quite a few replies from white men. I even dated two. I personally like black and other dark-skinned men, but I grew up in (quite racist) white, middle class community and have always been accused of not acting "black enough." It often seems that I have more in common with white men than black men. I live in Philadelphia where there are quite a few mixed couples (most black men and white women or Asian women with white men) and my husband and I did receive some stares, especially if we were out with our children, but we just ignored them.

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  7.   CanadianGC says:
    Posted: 05 Dec 09

    First off the title of the article is offensive to those who actually simple are more attracted to others from other cultures/races. Referring to it as a niche is more suitable for a marketing campaign then a relationship discussion. Are there more people dating interracially because it seems like the latest trend? I'm sure there are. If nothing else it will open up their minds. As for stares from others.. funny thing is that I tend to be oblivious to others staring and it is usually the person I am with who will notice or someone will say something to her and she will mention it too me. It doesn't take long for people to realize that I really don't care what you think about how I choose to live my life and don't care how you choose to live yours.

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  8.   nightmare says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    man all this about dating other races is cool. i also have this thing for asians especialy indians, japanese, chinese and coreans, but knowing how their are rescrited to their own envioroment that keeps me whit my mind desires to my self. maybe one day are will date one, who knows

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  9.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 13 Nov 09

    Birds of a feather / flock together . You two should get along well.

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  10.   whurr says:
    Posted: 12 Nov 09

    I love that you actually have to take time of your day to reply to my posts! It means that something I have typed has ruined your day. The fact that I can occupy your life enough to quantify a reply, makes me happy. Please keep it up! It makes me laugh intrinsically when people get so riled up over random internet comments. I hope you put as much effort into life and try to make better decisions about humanitarian issues. The internet is awesome!! If I took anything that you said seriously, I would be attacking you for commenting about my 13 year old needing therapy, almost wishing him to be there. Wahh wahh wahh. Its the internet! Personal comments...attacks on my family...attacks on me! Give me a break! Like I said, I truly find this whole thing amusing. I can tell your comments are starting to become darker and deeper. Since I mentioned my son, you decided it is good enough for you to address him as well. As I said, cyber fighting is so amusing! You are my official cyber-stalker and I think its cute! You love commenting on all my posts on other blogs and I think its great! You are my number 1 fan now! Thanks

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  11.   Glock says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 09

    Whurr, you're not the only one who feels like that when it comes to Homesteader.

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  12.   oldschool56 says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 09

    @WHURR, Seeing how you want to call me out of my screen name..lol...I can tell by your post, that you are just a pathetic "little"(and Im not talking about your height) man with nothing better to do than stir up trouble. I find it amusing that you use others quotes to insult or give an opinion. Which means you dont really have a mind of your own. So I can just ignore you when you are annoying and reply when I want to be amused. You probably dont even date outside your race because no self respecting sister (all races) would have you. If you are that foolish online you are probably worse offline. YOU BREED?? LOL! Only two ways that went. His mamma cant stand you or you are still with her in which case..why are you even on here?..And if she is with you and you are trying to make friends with women of different races, the one thing I do know is SHE doesnt know about it. So your 13 year old is pre-destined to seek therapy for the 20 years when he does grow up. And that also means you are the perverted one. Im free single and wayyyyy over 21 and if I want to date a 27 year old so be it. You only wish you could find a 27 year old to date you...oh wait...your wife/girlfriend wouldnt like that would she?

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  13.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 09 Nov 09

    Whurr ; You stay with your ' grammer check ' / You failed to answer the questions asked . You Insulted a Lady and I with your brief writing of incomplete Quotes . Take two aspirin and call your Doctor in the morning .

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  14.   whurr says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 09

    @Homesteader Your ramblings are inane and they cause me migraines. An interpreter is needed just to identify the predicate. After reading some of the things you have rambled on about, I am wondering if it is possible to sue my English Composition teacher for lying to me about the rules of grammar. I ran one of your postings through the 'grammar check' in my Microsoft Word 2007 and the response was 'What The F*^&???'

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  15.   SnazzyBella says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 09

    WOW, I can feel the passion between two people on here. The back and forth dialogue bespeaks of interest. Is there another afro match here????? Whurr??? oldschool56???? Are yall K I S S I NG in a tree? Nosy afro peeps wanna know

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  16.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 09

    Whurr P.S. ; I made use of the entire paragraph of your comment and you failed to Quote the Entirety of my comment . Omission by Intent or Fraud in order to claim Perverse and gross , ???? as I stated that it was a Dinner Date in my paragraph . Please feel free to define the word " Misogynistic " if it means any other than Hatred of Women .

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  17.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 09

    P.S. I learned years ago to Respect my Elders /each and every one of them .

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  18.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 09

    Whurr to quote you " I have been discovered . My misogynistic ways have been evaluated properly ." On 10/29/09 . It is still in print Please feel free to Deny that fact . And it was a Ladie that personally wrote me saying how you turned her Dinner Date comment into a Personal Insult toward her Enjoyment . I could see that you had added your Perverse thoughts to her dinner date comment in your comment .

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  19.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 09

    I will stand by the fact of taking a Ladie to Dinner / no matter her age or mine is still Considered being a " Gentleman " .

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  20.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 09

    @Homesteader Ehhhh... nothing I said was misogynistic. The weakest argument against making comments towards others comments is misogyny. When a woman makes a comment and a man has a rebuttal, is this the new 'race card'? Lets all cry 'misogyny'. Give me a break. Don't post generalizations about someone if you don't want them to make a rebuttal back. When I see my name, I clearly have an opinion as well and it will be posted. I made a joke regarding someone's comments about liking how 'white men express themselves during sex'. The comment was quoted. I always use quotes from others. I made an obvious joke! I was then labeled to be a 'red flag' by OLDSCHOOL. Because I used LOTUSLOVES exact words, I had some comments to say to her regarding that. She openly talked about dating a man who was 27 years younger than her. As most people who read that winced, I openly commented on that. So I not only winced with everyone else, but I commented You can be 'Mr . Chivalrous' and try to use the same generic comments that you want. The fact is I say it like I see it. YOU DATING AN 84 YEAR OLD WHEN YOU WERE 50??? THAT IS WAYYYYY MORE PERVERSE THAN HER!! "When I was 50 years old , I dated a Ladie 84 years old " <---- by far the grossest comment I have seen on this website in years!!

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  21.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 02 Nov 09

    Generally Speaking ; Sometimes Personal conversations with other people on these Blog topics / bring a Literal Usage of others Words into the open sight of the World at Large . Slang may be comical in Cartoons / Insults as to anothers Enjoyment of Life are Not. When a Ladie whom I speak with , Feels that an Insult has been made in a Public Forum / Ain't no fool like an old Fool - I earned my voice on these matters I will be the first to Defend her thoughts of Happiness . Older people have gotten that age because they used common sense and knowledge in Hard times to Survive the oppression of Childish Behavior of others . [ Misogynistic ways - Meaning Hatred ] being Evaluated Litterally as Written . This will remain a Date Ting site Promoting Love .

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  22. Posted: 01 Nov 09

    @pumpkin22 Thanks for that statistic. Good to know. Where did you find it on NCFR site? P.S. My hair is natural, too, and I love it. @homesteader Not getting why you say the things you do. In honesty I just skim. They don't make sense. And please don't bother commenting to this, we just process things differently. @snazzybella Glad you feel that way. Check out the new hair documentary, it's seem black women are still trying too hard with the hair. My comments speak to another POV of what I hear and experience. Sometimes I wish we didn't have the sad racial experiences we do. I'm deeply optimistic. I grew up in a life of unlimited possibility that didn't see color. I'm attracted to certain white guys b/c I have more in common with their life experience.

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  23.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 01 Nov 09

    @OLD FOOL56 Actually, you made a pretty bold generalization about a joke I made with someone. You expect that I am going to sit back and not have much to say to your genralizations. I enjoy posting on this blog and I enjoy reading the emails sent to me from users who enjoy reading my posts as well. As for you and your 'man-child' that you were dating, different strokes for different folks I guess is the best cliche for your case. Jealous?? Don't flatter yourself! I still stand by my claim that I consider it to be perverted that there is 27 years age difference between you. As far as my children go, they are all like me. Stay away from my son... he is 13 now and I don't want you to get too worked up!

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  24.   pumpkin22 says:
    Posted: 31 Oct 09

    @WHURR Thanks for the offer but I think and hope I just met my prince. @Homesteader And thanks for the kind thoughts. He did say that based on knowing me so far he wouldn't care whether I become bald-headed or disabled. @chistlst and smiletellsit I agree that most other women get played up in our society. Still remember the men who can appreciate our different beauty-inside and out- are out there and growing. Recently, I found it interesting to hear about a study done by the National Council on Family Relations. Their conclusion was that the most successful interracial marriages are between white men and black women. In fact, they were found to be 40% more successful than even white male/white female marriages. For a while there, I've been making no bones about being primarily attracted to white men. While my attraction was originally borne out of a rejection by black men, my feelings have evolved into a full-blown attraction for white men. And no, there is no self-hatred going on here. I have no desire to be white or to assimilate into white society. My hair is natural and will remain that way. While I do speak standard English, my inflections will remain African-American. And for the rest of my life, I will always relate and sympathize with other blacks including my black brothers. It just turns out that the people I feel most comfortable around and spending most of my time with are black women and white men. Rather than using the term stereotype, I would say that we are more or less affected by the culture that we were raised in. So in general, white men are more acculturated to be more open, honest, masculine yet humble, and giving in my experience. That in turn can often translate into increased intimacy-in and out of the bedroom. At the same time as males and females- we are often most attracted to what is opposite of ourselves.

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  25.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 09

    P.S. As We all grow Older / It just gives us more years of Practical Experience in order to Learn the Practice of Daily Respect shown to all others . Change in more recent terms . When I was 50 years old , I dated a Ladie 84 years old / this is 34 years difference and in my Personal Opinion taking a Ladie to a Dinner Date is Considered " Being a Gentleman " for Anyone of Intelligence . A trait some younger boys / children shall never Possess no matter how many years they try . Please stick with your Legos until you yourself grow old enough to Speak with Total Respect to all Ladies / Whurr. Yet , showing your red flags in a Public Forum with Misogyny [ Hated of women ] . Publically places you in a class of boys who must like other boys , I would Imagine you should search at another site .

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  26.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 09

    Whurr ; If you are chase Sing " Sisters " for only one thing / in Texas , we call this " Inbred " - Too closely related for healthy children or " Pervert " if you wish . " Scarey " / so to speak [ Sick wood be the proper term in my eyes ]. Knot the age of the Tree / The Beauty of the Foliage on Display at all times . Alas Business Associates go to Dinner together [ Monkey Business and it ain't none of your Business what others are doing anyway . Jealousy : Would more than Likely be the Main Reason /People who are Stare ing - Stare . " Feed em Cake " or _ _ _ _ em and Feed em Fishheads if you please . You fill in the Blanks / Offensively if I am Correct as to Manner of Prior Statement .

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  27.   SnazzyBella says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 09

    @smiletellsit, Ehhhh, no i spend time and money on my hair because I kind of like myself alot. And my beauty is not dictated by society rather by the great genes of my mother and father.

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  28.   oldschool56 says:
    Posted: 30 Oct 09

    LOLOL must have hit a nerve if you had to waste all that type to try and show just how dumb you are...if you read everything I posted which you probably didnt...you know and I know what you meant..you come on her to be sarcastic? Dont they have sites for that? I think you just get on here to see what you can start by your words...so Im done with you....have fun making fun of whatever it is you think you are making fun of...oh and as for my 26 year old?..lolol you sound jealous..trust and believe whatever the reason they were staring didnt bother either of us. Men have been doing it for centuries. Call it what you want..he and I made a cute couple. As I said it was only 4 days. And we still talk with each other. I stand by my observation of you...and as far as where I got my degrees from..you might try to go yourself. And God help the world if YOU have children unless they break the cycle and not turn out like you....later...

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  29.   WHURR says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 09

    @OLDSCHOOL56 Yes you are correct..I "only think of women of color as being good for one thing" and I know for sure that "this would send up a red flag for sisters". I am definitely "A little too cocky." (sic). I have been discovered. My misogynistic ways have been evaluated properly. Women of color are only good for one thing...... .............. to laugh at my sarcastic humor.... ARE YOU FOR REAL??? DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT I WAS BEING FACETIOUS WHEN I SAID I WAS DRIVING TO ATLANTA TO "Express myself" AS LotusLove24 STATED WAS THE REASON SHE LIKED WHITE MEN IN BED?? Enough said...thanks for sharing your 'beliefs'. I am so happy that you publicly have stated that I am a 'red-flag' for women of color because 'I think about them for one thing.' Please let us know what university your graduate degree is from so we don't mistakenly send our children there. 27 years difference ( the difference you refer to for you and your 'kid-luva') in dating is a little too much for me. It definitely is a little too 'Oedipus' for me. I would hate to think that when I am 5 years old, a 32 year old woman might be scoping me out while I am playing with my Legos. I think the reason people were staring at you was that... THERE WAS 27 YEARS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU! I don't want to hear all the rebuttals about 'if they are in love, who cares'. They should have never gotten to the date. There was a point that they weren't in love etc. The whole buildup to getting to a date should have never happened!! 27 years is motherly. The 26 year old dude you were dating is definitely a classic 'Oedipus Complex'. 27 years is perverted for a dude and perverted for a woman. Thanks for pointing out I am deserving of a 'red flag from women of color'. I am sure that everyone on this site takes my posts as literal as you. For theraputic reasons...I thank you for your clinical diagnosis. So please except my diagnosis about your 53 year old self and your 26 year old 'love toy' that you openly shared because you are unaware of why 'you got stares'. The reason you got stares wasn't because you were black and he was white. THE REASON YOU GOT STARES WAS THAT YOU WERE 53 AND HE WAS 26. PEOPLE WERE LIKE DAYUMMMMM... THAT MOM JUST MADE OUT WITH HER KID OR HER KID'S FRIEND. WHURR - Now offically known as: The man who "thinks of women of color as being good for one thing. And Im sure this would send up a red flag for the sisters where you are concerned"

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  30.   oldschool56 says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 09

    Whurr, Im afraid that its men like you who fuel the stereotypes of what a black woman is for. Your statment "express myself during sex as you have demanded." shows you only think of women of color as being good for one thing. And Im sure this would send up a red flag for the sisters where you are concerned. A little too cocky I think. Try looking at us the way you look at white women. Sure we might be a little more aggressive but I know some white,asian and latino women who are also the same.

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  31.   oldschool56 says:
    Posted: 29 Oct 09

    Well I have gotten stared at but probably because he is 26 and Im 53. Or maybe they wondered how this big beautiful diva attracted such a handsome lad. I lost myself in a real-life dream for 4 wonderful, tantalizing days this past September in San Francisco, what can I say?. The stares didnt stop him from holding my hand, stealing a kiss, and holding open the doors for me buying me flowers..sighhh!!! I did wonder how come I cant find a guy who is closer to my own age with the same qualities. Seems they have more issues with people staring than the younger set. They still want to limit it to under the cover of darkness. I know if Im starring at an interracial couple it is with envy..I do wish it were me too...But Im not giving up hope.

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  32.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 09

    How old must one be / before they realize that we are all just people ? Bigotry continually shows in all these Blog topics /conversations with the useage of the same two words . And myself , I though that change is what we all are seeking here . My wife and I did not change / We are still just a woman and a man in Love , who met on this site. As change becomes advanced with educational levels at this time / Each must learn to Broaden their Vocabulary to Accept these Changes .

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  33.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 23 Oct 09

    smiletellsit ; Men are all individuals also / They do not look for Women who openly Stereotype them . Separate them into color classifications / Men seek women with Class in the way they walk through Life . Every woman that I personally have ever met , was treated with the respectful way in which she carried herself . This is an Inter-racial date Ting site / and there are many online everyday of Many different Heritages that spend time reading these Blogs . The President Obama and his Beautiful Family / they walk together with Pride . Alas , I wish you luck if you are seeking a color instead of an Individual .

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  34. Posted: 23 Oct 09

    Pumpkin22, love what you said 10-16-09. Finally to be appreciated for our look. Frankly, it's the reason why black women have spent so much time and money on their hair, to try to comply with the demand for us to look white, for the rejection we get for having natural hair and our look. AR is an online tool to broaden our search and the men here who claim to be so attracted to black women should be wanting us for WHO we are. Men are visual, but so are women; and the good women have been blessed to go deeper, to want a man beyond looks, for his quality of character and his ability to love. BF/WM is an awesome pairing!! It's hard to imagine my life turning out any other way, but there are still so many white guys who are looking for black women to be white/asian with just darker skin. These white guys should be attracted to us for us. For the curvy hips, full lips, shades of brown skin, bright smiles, high intelligence, elegant behavior, etc. Instead, they believe the stereotypes. They make fun of the First Lady. They compare black women to apes or male characteristics. They just want us for sex or curiosity or exploration. Please. And the white guys who do appreciate us do nothing to defend our honor among whites. Come on. My favs are the guys who have always been attracted to us and who want a good black woman, period. Who are not ashamed of us, but rather proud. And who appreciate all black women in all our looks and types. Those awesome white guys who get it. Now they must educate their white brethren, and not just keep all the great black women for themselves...lol.

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  35.   kragwitt says:
    Posted: 21 Oct 09

    The comments about the role of black people in Biblical history is true, Im white and I have to admit that Black people have been denied the recognition that is deserved, Mostly at the hands of the majority white population. Many are aware of George Washington Carver, but there were thousand of other plain hard working people the just never recieved recognition or worse were slandered in the name of raceism. Not many know where the term "real Mc Coy' actually is from. No its not Irish. As for Glocks coment, I agree there are many who look when they see a mixed date only wishing they had such an attractive lady with them. But we need to be careful not to fan some flames too much. As well, IR dating should not be used in this manor, Just be with who you want to be with simply because thats who you want to be with, not to make some social statement or draw attention to your self. There is a lot to be said about not irritating others sensativies or ruffling feathers.

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  36.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 09

    Wise Choice ; Those whom we meet daily in our visits to towns / Respect Us in OPEN CONVERSATION WITH uS . All WHO DO KNOT - NEVER SAY A WORD / We are just people in Our cities in East Texas . We smile and Laugh and it seems to spread among all we see . Life is to Enjoy /bottomline.

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  37.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Oct 09

    pumpkin22 ; We all change in appearance as we get older / even our minds change . With Daily knowledge / my own ways are changing . Hopefully for the Better / I have been study ing Psychology though Observation . Here at the Blog topics . This site has became a Tool / I use to Grow with Knowledge + or - , I have still read interesting Topics which have given me change in the ways of Our personal life together . Love does knot change / it is the small habits I have grown to use which with insight are becoming Finely Tuned , I hope for the Positive We live an Enjoyable life together / Have found that conversations Daily help to adjust Us to lifes Good moments in time and there are many . Wish you luck in your search / Time to Believe it will happen for you . This site helped bring Us together over 2 and a half years ago and we are growing older Enjoying daily what we are Building as a Family unit . Still remain just a woman and man in Love .

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  38.   BELLARA says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 09

    African American women will be more attractive to men of other races if they can stop complaining about white/asian b*tches stealing all their men. I'm a black girl too but many wish to kill me with their dirty looks when they see me talking to an African American guy. I'm black but just not African American (how nonsensical)!!!! I also think most men of other races are not that attracted to them because many go for the 'ghetto fabulous look" ranging from the attire to the physique. I'm not saying all of them are like this, but truth be told...many of them are.

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  39.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 09

    Sympathetically,... I took a fresh look at my harsh response to poor grammar in the title, "Interracial dating: Is that where WE AT?" I realized it could have been a typo. We all make them... I try to keep my prose-style tight; but forget to hit the Enter key and keep typing... And being a little dyslexic, when I'm tired, words come out looking stranger than usual. It could have been a tired afternoon... the word "are" was missed. It's an easy mistake... deadlines could have caused it to be overlooked in the rush to get the page on. So.. if I was over-critical then I truly apologize. (I was a little harsh on the poor use of English; feeling that it is demeaning to the Black Woman.. in that it makes her look uneducated and "hoochy". "Do dat be whur WE AT ? ".;... We need to present a more sophisticated, polished personification of Black Women to the international internet-viewer. I feel that far too many (white males) tend to view average black women in that lower "hoochy" light... and it behooves us all to raise the level of esteem. In case anyone should read it and think I am taking an unwarranted crack-shot at the authors who work so hard to produce this web-blog please know my heart. Sincerely, John. .

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  40.   shotgun007 says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 09

    To: melliott, I was kinda thinking the same thing. Thank you for taking the words right out of my mouth. Good post. Take Care....

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  41.   Member says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Dear "whyt_b0y": Thank you so much. Sharing that article is very informative and revealing of certain cultural aspects of life in America and elsewhere; which must improve. For those of you who may not have read it, I would like to repeat the url address whyt_b0y referred to. It's another great example of bigotry-gone-wild. I despise it!! http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091015/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff Let me,.. for the record, say that ANY interracial couple who seeks marital counseling, advice or any assistance in the quest for marriage ordination, I will deeply honored to serve you respectfully. This problem of romantic interracial relationship goes much deeper into the bedrock of thinking in both political and religious thinking, than may meet the eye of the average on-looker. Homesteader,... I did not ignore your comments.. (and I truly appreciated Glock's supportive augmentation)...Thank you Glock! Homesteader,... I don't entirely disagree with the sentiment of what you stated. It's true, we are all here for the virtual discovery of love among each other and mutual support in it. I would remind you, though I'm sure you already know,... that most of the prejudiced opinions formally advanced against interracial marriage stem from misunderstandings and outright twists.. of truthful facts contained in religious belief systems today. Think about it with me for a moment. For years, many Southern churches in America refused to sanction interracial marriage. When you actually have preachers in pulpits (TODAY)--NOT 2000 or 6000 years ago -- preaching a doctrine which precludes acceptance of a married couple in their churches ...they propagate hatred. Not LOVE !! Further, they make it as impossible as they possibly can, for an interracial couple to survive in their community..let alone the fact that they outrightly REFUSE to sanction then. Not only will they not perform the ceremony..they teach the is is sinful and degrading to the church and the American (at least) way of life! They DO this .. in the NAME of their religion. So, while may I agree with you that we now live in somewhat different different "times",.. in some ways "times" haven't changed much at all!! This problem dates back thousands of years. It's not new; by any stretch of imagination. If you care to write to me on this site's address address (WiseChoice) I will gladly give you documentation that will substantiate this fact. At the time of the translations... there was such an uproar over the fact that... (WATCH THIS!!) Nearly EVERY WOMAN IN SCRIPTURE WHO WAS GREAT--- WAS A BLACK-WOMAN!!!!!! They couldn't accept it! They KNEW it was true and could not dispute it. So they buried the fact through the way they splayed the language!!!!!!!! It really happened! Turn the descriptive words. Make her of NO color at all! Don't indicate WHAT color she was..period! Then, PAINT the heroin as being WHITE..in all the port rates of events of the times! Children couldn't read! They believed what the artwork depicted! Because most adults couldn't read Vulgate Latin anyway...so they believed what they SAW, as well! So the belief STILL stands ! No??? Ask ANY (white) bible scholar!!! I may be one of the few exceptions...!!-- St Mary was WHITE !! Queen Esther was WHITE!! St. Peter's mother was WHITE!! RUTH was ....!!!! The Proverbs 31-Woman was WHITE !! So was the Song-of-Solomon woman (even though she STATES that she was BLACK and that her lover was WHITE)!! ---But why bother with the FACTS????!!!! After all,.. it's centuries-old !!! Tell a lie long enough,... censure any rebuttal, burn any book that says otherwise,... and you can propagate anything you want to!! Ask Hitler!! Ask the corpses of the Spanish Inquisition!! Ask Galileo!! Ask Aristotle!! Ask George Bush!! Or ... create a NEW REVISED VERSION to cover it up... just in case the truth still seeps through!! The greatest women in history have nearly ALL been .... well,..now you probably think I'm prejudiced for believing so heartily in the black race..men as well as women!! Want to hear about Black MEN?? But I know of a few prestigious Bible Universities that will NOT condone, accept or admit interracial married couples who apply for student enrollment!! AND--- they teach OPENLY against such marriage!! If I told you the name of them it would literally SHOCK you with disbelief..until you examine their roster as see that NOT EVEN ONE interracial couple has been admitted for enrollment in 45 years!!! Tell me,.. peoples' religious/political attitude is of no consequence .. or that their misguided view of Biblical times is not adversely affecting the world-view of interracial marriage and dating! I have the scars on my body to PROVE I know what I am talking about!! I stand up for my brothers and sisters (excuse me ladies; "sistas")!! And it has cost me a LOT !!! But I'd do it again!! I love my black "family"!! And they know it!! And everything I can do, to inspire and lift them, I do it with all my heart and soul!! They have been cheated out of their God-Given inheritance!! Few white people will ever admit that fact!!! And then... now the White-Elite are fearful that they may win it back..now that we have a President who is of interracial heritage!! Let me help you!! Let me put MY blood on the line for my Black Brother! I'm ALREADY there!!! As for my Black Sisters,... I love them totally!! And YES....!!! The Bible DOES matter to them... because it PROVES beyond QUESTION that they are of ROYAL HERITAGE..!!! --Even if it IS more than 2000 years old... the history is their validation! EVERY GREAT KING or (married) leader ..political or religious... regardless of HIS color... was MARRIED to a GREAT BLACK WOMAN!!! NO EXCEPTION! So,... YES... ancient heritage DOES matter TODAY! And like you,... I salute Interracial Websites that promote such a good cause as to bring the world together in LOVE, regardless of skin-color! I Support this website and this blog-site!! I may disagree with articles and positions, but Thank God for freedom to speak openly!! Just--- do it harmoniously and ...with Class!! Thanks, folks. I love you;... ..but then, (you know that already!)! WiseChoice

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  42.   Member says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Thank you, Precious Pumpkin, for your comments! Also to you, 8betheada8 Thank you for noting of my deep, personal respect. It is true; I honestly honor, highly respect and regard the Black Woman and totally believe in you. Sometimes I don't know if that point comes across with the all of the depth it is intended, or not!! Some men, Black, White and Asian may "say" they respect you;...hopefully, actions follow words. If they treat you like a "hoochy-mamma" in the way they act toward you in public,-you deserve BETTER. But "better" means that you must ACT in a way,.. and SPEAK in a way that makes a classy statement! Respect comes at a price. Sorry; but that's how it is. If you act tasteless,-what are you saying? Are your actions... the way you carry yourself,.. the way you speak or allow others to speak to you ..making a statement that genders the respect you desire to receive? If not,... think about it. You have a chance..(-right on this blog-page-) to CHANGE a WORLD-VIEW of THOUSANDS of men about you! You can tell the WORLD that the AMERICAN BLACK WOMAN is a QUEEN; WORTHY of INTERNATIONAL RESPECT! Or,... you can tell the WORLD that you're really a "hoochy" without class or quality of character. That is sadly the impression of many men around the internet-world... partly because of others. Take, for example,... the poor grammar in the title of this very blog. What example is THAT??!! I appreciate this blog and all of your comments... Glock, Melliot, Willie827 and other good men. And I appreciate the authors and the fine work they do as well. We need MORE of it; not less!! But we need a tone of quality that reflects the fine definition or a true Royal Black Queen!! --You can BE in the ghettos but not allow your mental level of ascension to dwell there! If you rise in your MIND-set,... you will rise in your physical dimension as well. Is that clear? If you ACT like a ghetto-tramp,... it is because you THINK like that..and SPEAK like that as well. But if you are a woman or man of class and honor, your actions and words will CAUSE you to rise !! And it is NOT necessary to lower your vernacular to the level of people who refuse to improve. Look at the diction in this blog: on "interracial dating: Is this where ( we at?)" Is that actually the way you women talk?? Does that offend you,.... or are you used to it? Have people talked (way-down) to you for so long, that you can't see yourselves above that level?? I really understand that everyone does not have a college degree. But come-on, somebody,...!! Can't we speak to the world with a higher level of respect for the Educated American BlACK Women?? "is this where WE at"??? ...and then we wonder why Black women get less respect than truly deserved ! Actually,... I am going to give you a piece of my opinion about thit article....: Like so many others I read, the questions are so poorly posed, they leave ...unbelievable gaps. Take for example,..."is this where WE at?" Now,..I ask you,...what kind of grammar is that? To persons like yourself or like me,..it's almost insulting;... in that, we speak BETTER than that. Yes,..I realize when you have to talk "down-home" with some people,... the language quality suffers. But in a blog like this,..seen all over the world, it doesn't make sense...to me anyway,..to do that. Shouldn't we present the ability of BLACK WOMEN to relate (in English) much more intelligibly ??? Doesn't the Black Woman deserve more respect for intellectual prowess than: "is this where WE at?" Okay!! It you want to sell cell-phones and want to advertise to "the hood" in that language, Okay! "Where YOU at?"...Look at the market it attracts. But when you are dealing with feminine respect..?? Do authors of this blog really think all "blacks" talk in that lower vernacular all over the world? What kind of signal are they sending,..about the caliber and class of YOU American Black Women?? It honestly disturbs me;..because I ONLY will date or marry a BLACK QUEEN...who respects English. I'm sure I am not alone!! Many Black, White and Asian men agree;...--though some (clearly) don't. Not that it's the only criterion of course;.. there are naturally other considerations as well. Intimate propensity, brains, practicality and spirituality may also be primary considerations. It all counts..... and to me, it all counts in a way that can make or break the love-interest. I need an intelligent Black Woman;..whose bearing and language skill-set equals her classy demeanor. It goes,..I would think,.. that a woman who knows how to speak well, also knows how to dress.. ...how to do conduct herself appropriately in the various discriminating socially correct settings.. and other situations where it is important for a man of distinction to present his classy mate. I think it goes, that such a woman also has an innate sensitivity in other ways as well. Intimate proclivity is important but so is the ability to respect and appreciate correct English. Granted,... a lot of white men can't put two sentences together without grammatical errors. Chances are, they neither know or care, how you speak or talk...as long as you...do your homework. And perhaps that's all some women want to do... and really don't care to even try to improve. Or,... maybe some of the Black Women reading this may not realize language = class distinction. Maybe some of them never stopped to think about the fact that the word, CREDIT IS NOT "CREDDICK". Perhaps they have grown so-used to bad grammar, they don't realize how it sounds to cultured men. But I think,..for the sake of raising the esteem of Black Women,...Classic English is important. The person putting this blog together should surly be aware of the awesome responsibility involved. Properly representing the Black American Female mind-set to an international community is crucial. In this case I think "hoochy" English should be totally verboten; --in favor of BLACK WOMEN. "Is WE right-on ???" I thAnk thEt da black womanS should git moor creddicK fur good spaking! "Whut YOU thAnk?" ---- Again,... I love you for taking time to read this and for your response.--(Can I get support from men too)? Perhaps you may be instrumental in favorably changing things by helping to endorse the point. We're talking about bringing respect to the Black Woman in her interracial roll in the community. If interracial relationships are to be respected across the spectrum,.. we must raise our paradigm. I really desire to encourage interracial romance. I believe we all do. --Let's Lift each other. I look forward to hearing from you, if you care to write. I'm also grateful for responses received. By the way,.. you ladies look very lovely in your photos. --I took time to view your profile. Very impressive. Sincerely, (WiseChoice) Please have a success-filled morning! .

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  43.   christ1st says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Wow, again for the 100th time I had a discussion with a Physician I work with regarding this topic on Friday. Seattle is suppose to be the great melting pot of every color under the rain bow, but yet there is less of white men with black women. The number of black men with white women here is astronomical. The supposed reason is that white women are more gentle and less confrontational than black women. This gentleman says that white men are afraid of us and they fear rejection no matter what. This is simply one mans opinion. I have learned not to trust a lot of statistics because People magazine wrote an article a few years back stating black movies/actors do not sell in other countries outside of the US. A reporter totally discredited the article by doing his own research in Europe, to find that black movies/actors sell far greater than white. So I do not agree that white men don't want a beautiful, elegant black woman who has her "stuff" (for lack of a better word)together. I think some simply are unsure of how to approach us.

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  44.   Whurr says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    PUMPKIN22: Im now taking a detour to Naples....How YOU doing?

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  45.   pumpkin22 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    @Neisy It IS nice when our African looks are appreciated(finally). At that time I sometimes wonder if some guys who respond to me actually read my profile! I'm looking for deep connection of personalities, habits, and life views not just a I-would-love-to-show-you-off-on-my-arm connection. Then I also start to get a little paranoid. So what I get in a disfiguring car accident, will you love me then? What about when my body starts not looking the same? Bottom line guys, keep the kudos coming but ask yourselves would you really have enough in common with this lady to go the distance?

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  46.   pumpkin22 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    @Wisechoice and others: I appreciate your words. @WHURR You are too funny. I hope you rescue your damsel.

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  47.   pumpkin22 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    I agree that a major reason WM largely do not approach BW is because of negative stereotypes of BW (as well as fears about what others would say). That is until they make meaningful contact with real BW. What I think they discover the type that's the focus of the stereotype makes up only a minority of BF's. For myself for instance, All the BF's I associate with as friends are intelligent, wise, nice, as well as a lot of fun to be around. BF's are a well kept secret. I also think the sexual prowess of WM has also been underestimated especially by black people. Imagine my shock after my first make-out session with a white guy. I was like, I didn't know you could that(lol)! So I'm ashamed to say that I too was dealing in stereotypes. One thing I appreciate about a lot of white guys on sites like this is that you have strong, independent minds and you're willing to go after what appeals to you even if you risk society's disapproval. To me that is a major part of what defines a real man and is a major source of my attraction.

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  48.   8betheada8 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    WISE CHOICE.. SORRRYYY! I WAS CUT OFF IN THE PREVIOUS COMMENT BEFORE FINISHING... But I wanted to Thank you for your rendiction of how to Love, honor, respect and cherish a woman! I enjoyed reading all the comments you guys left before me.... Thx...... 8betheada8

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  49.   8betheada8 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    *The STARE*, that makes so many people uncomfortable! I too have experienced those *stares*, But it is throughout many yrs. of Interracial Dating that I've realized and accepted the fact that ...... "IT IS WHAT IT IS!" But it can ONLY be as strong as the POWER you give it! GLOCK!... I enjoyed reading your comment and I strongly agree with you, People aren't born racist, they are taught! and raised! to be racist...So many people are consumed by the preception of others, when the main focus should be directed more towards how you precieve yourself! your self worth, the love, compassion and respect giving to you by the individual you're with. With that said.... MELLIOT!... I sentimentalize with your emotional views mainly derived from the sterotypical analysis unconsciously given by LOTUSLOVE24, stigmatizing our ancestors! For I don't think that she realized, in giving her explaination as to why she prefer dating another race, she branded and labeled men of her own race! I find that behavior obnoxious and belittling, and in my experience it's widely prevalant among every race. Both male and female. And she herself fell into the category of sterotyping. One should never hold against the other, the wrongs committed by another. But it HAPPENS! And it's sad that some people feel the need to belittle and degrade another to make themselves appear greater than..I find it hard to believe that anybody walking hand in hand with a person of a different race would make such arrogant comments towards a person of the same nationality of their date????? WOW unbelievable, but I have seen people who publicly criticize and ostracize interracial dating discourage their offspring from engaging in said relationships... and on the DL they secretively fornicate and fraternize with inhibitions. WISE CHOICE!... I

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  50.   whyt_b0y says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    AINT THIS SOME MESS EVEN IN 2009 DISCRIMINATION here in louisiana just this week a justice of the peice refused to marry a black man and a white woman .he claims in his opinion most interracial marriages do not work out ,like his dumb ass is a leading authority or something .this might or might not coinside with this artical but i figured it's something some folks might care to see this is the link to the article . http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091015/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff i know one thing when i decide to get married or date i should not have to go to outside my own town or state just because of some bigot's views. hmmm i wonder if al sharpton is gonna tackle this one lol.

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