Interracial marriages - why the discrepancy between attitudes and actions?

Posted by Ria, 14 Aug 07

In some not so very ancient polls on interracial dating, findings show that 83% of Americans are okay with it. Its like moss people are gradually moving towards a race-less society if you wish to call it that.

Is this a positive sign? Yes? No? Maybe?

Well these poll results are quite surprising. Ok at least that’s what I thought. Lets analyze this:

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

The number of interracial unions in the US is around the 7% mark. My dear readers, who will so kind to explain the disparity between the high approval rate and relatively low numbers of interracial couples who end up tying the knot?

So the trend is growing… but we must admit one painful truth… it's been slow to develop. Considering the prejudice that was like the fashion trend in the earlier part of the 20th century this is hardly surprising.

Well, this discrepancy goes to show the talking the laws off the books, hasn’t changed some of our attitudes. The demographic surveys make interesting reading and produce some unusual results. Stuff like Asian American females are 2.5 times more likely to marry a white American than an Asian American male… or African American males are 2.5 times more likely to be married to a white female, than African American females to a white male could be the reason for such a discrepancy.

Does this mean that having a positive attitude towards interracial dating and actually dating interracially are not related whatsoever? Well I always thought attitude builds actions. Are those that welcome the idea of interracial marriages scared of being regarded as sell "selling out the race᾿ when they actually intermarry?

Well another reason for this discrepancy may be that resistance to interracial marriage tends to be hidden. When people are responding to surveys most respondents probably just want to appear progressive in their views. They don’t want to be the ones pulling American’s down. And if this is the case, then their answers may not be entirely representative of their true feelings.

Going by this assumption, will we ever get to the society in which race will cease to matter as much as it has in the past? Or are we just comfortable with dragging our feet hope to get there eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ventually?

Tags: interracial marriages

Responses to "Interracial marriages - why the discrepancy between attitudes and actions?"

Be the first to leave a comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

  1.   Kes says:
    Posted: 29 Dec 09

    my opinion on this is cool with me. personally i feel like im attracted to all races. I am a black lady and i see no problem with interracial couples matter of fact my brother is married to a white women and my aunt who is a beautiful black women is married to a red haired blue eyes white man and they have a lovely daughter who looks white with red hair and with black facial features and she is engaged to a white male. on the terms of me ive dated a biracial w/b man and a black man. like i said before im opened to dating any race guy in my eyes love is love no matter what color.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  2.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 09

    Moved 1,500 miles away from N.Y.S. LONG AGO , My Aunt married a Venezuelan Man in the 1950's , I met my Uncle in my pre-teen years . My female cousin in the 1980's married a Black Man , I have never met him because of our distance apart . They have raised three children together as a family . I am just the third inter-racial marriage in our family that , I know of . This in Fact ; Means in Our minds that the Human Race has gotten closer and I never even thought much about it till " Today ". All these years / Never gave it a thought - Who should care about anothers' Happiness ?

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  3.   mimi says:
    Posted: 20 Apr 09

    Does it really matter, known for a fact we all bleed the same blood. Just as long as they have love for one another is what counts, get over it live for the future not the past.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  4.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 09

    It really ain't Nobodies Business save your own . Me and my wife and Our neighbors a mile and a half , down in the woods . That's two family , three other family both white , one Mexican and white family , five single households and one with two men living together . 17 % Roughly in our neck of the woods . This is National Forest Preserve Land and a Partrige in a pear tree. God only knows how many white tail deer , can bag 2 Buck 2 Doe during season legally .

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  5.   Brazilian says:
    Posted: 08 Jan 09

    I'm brazilian and interracial relationship is very commom here. I think that the media shows only the beautiful part and not the bad part. First, the child will be ugly( sorry,but is my opinion), second, won't have a defined identity and always will prefer the minority part. When you come here you will understand. I invite you to think about the future if everybody become mixed,this miscigenation is nothing less than genocide ( it is not needed to kill), primaly the whites that all countries are receiving greats numbers of non-whites and non-whites countries not. Will be very weird visit England ans just meet mulattos, cause I won't feel that I am in England. Whites will be extincted. It's a opinion of who lives in a country of mixed people, I know how bad it is, you don't need to mix to respect other race, ethnicity. It's not racism tell the truth, so respect me.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  6.   sao1 says:
    Posted: 23 Jul 08

    This is a great topic and here is my reply almost 1 year later lol. To answer the main question of the post, I think the reason there is a discrepancy in the approval rating vs. the actual # of interracial marriages is simply that most people are attracted to their own race. I disagree that people just "want to appear progressive" I do believe that most people are ok with it but then again maybe I'm just being hopeful:) There are many theories on why people are more likely to date/marry in their own race whether it be from a psychological or biological perspective. I am an exception to this because I am a black woman who is attracted to white men predominantly. My husband is absolutely gorgeous to me and he has blond hair and blue eyes. I wouldn't say that men of other races are not attractive but I do understand that you can't control what you like and for most people what they like is the race that they are (for whatever reason). Just because you prefer your own race for dating/relationships doesn't mean you don't approve or care if other people choose to marry outside their race. I met my husband when I was 19, he was 18 and we have been together ever since. We just celebrated our 3 year wedding anniversary, he's 26 and I'm 27 now and we are just as in love now as we were when we met so I don't want to read any future post talking about curiosity or experimental dating lol. People are just people, but for whatever reason the majority prefers familiarity, in turn, leading to predominantly same race marriage in our country.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  7.   Kimelodi says:
    Posted: 04 Jun 08

    I've dated all kinds of men including asian and am not silly enough to apply a stereotype to one nationality or culture. I also am offended by CityStreet23's comment. I have male and female friends of all nationalities including asian and white women who tell me that I'm too passive. That's not a very nice thing to say CityStreet just as you don't like comedians generalizing about white men. I don't prefer any one race over another. I also don't choose just to date one particular race of men. Even if I'd met people who actually have the stereotypical qualities, I could still never apply that to everyone in a specific group. Ignorance never ceases to amaze me. lol

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  8.   nfpexec says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 08

    I find CityStreet23's comments narrow minded and racist. If you want to suck up to every asian go ahead but who are you to put anyone else down or assume what goes on in the minds of black men. I've dated all kinds of men except asians and i still won't make stupid ignorant statements about any ehtnic group and unlike CityStreet23, I actually have experience and got to know them.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  9.   nfpexec says:
    Posted: 28 Apr 08

    I find CityStreet23's comments narrow minded and racist. If you want to suck up to every asian go ahead but who are you to put anyone else down or assume what goes on in the minds of black men. I've dated all kinds of men except asians and i still won't make stupid ignorant statements.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  10.   DeVone26 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 08

    I am writing and English paper and one of the topis was should people of different races marry? I have found this particular informational site quite helpful. I have read everyones' views and opinions and everyone has made valid points. To Martha I agree with HappyKitty65 I myself stare at interracial couples but not to judge to ask what made you want to do it. Some people don't have the courage to date outside of their race because they are affraid of the stares, comments and resentment from possibly family and friends. I am a 26 year old female in the National Guard and before leaving for training I had never interacted with anyone other than Caucasions when I arrived in South Carolina I was afraid that I would be looked at funny or judged because seeing all the people there I knew that they were not like me, but as time passed and i started to learn about all of my battles the one thing I learned is that all of us were alike. Hispanics, blacks, whites, asians we all go through the same things just in different places. I actually dated a white guy who was 18 when I was in AIT and yes the white females in my platoon gave me hell and all of them were younger than me. They were upset that he was not interested in one of them but me instead. It was not the color of out skin that drew us together it was the type of people we were and the things we had in common. We ended up not lasting mainly because he was tired of the comments and arguments I hade been getting into with them about my personal buisness. Yeah age palyed a big role in people judging us but i know it was mostly the color of my skin. My point is I was afraid to date him because I did not know what to expect but I took that chance and so did he because he said he had never dated a black girl and he wondered what his mom would say if he tolds her that he has a black girlfrined. The expereience is not one that I would take back because it taught me to look beyond the surface of a person no matter what color they are. Martha I congratulate you on being strong enough to follow your heart no matter what andI congratualte you on your new bundle of joy.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  11. Posted: 19 Feb 08

    Also, as for the white man/asian women trend, I won't deny that Asian women are just awesome because they are so respectul and loyal to their husbands...hands down, they are the best spouses

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  12. Posted: 19 Feb 08

    The truth of the matter is that as white man, I have no interest in or attraction to black woman whatsover. They seem rowdy, loud, and feisty, and quite frankly, I am not all that physically attracted to them. I think black men turn away from them for this reason as well. However, quite frankly, there is a cultural aspect here as well. African-Americans and white people have carved out different subcultures in our society, and I personally don't feel I can relate to black people that well, and even if tried, I would just be posing, like an impostor. Also, I don't appreciate some of the reverse racism going on, with black comedians and minority comedians in general making white men look effeminate, geeky, and high-strung. There should not be any kind of jabbing towards other races whatsoever, and that personally offends me.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  13.   deji40 says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    There are two main reasons why wm and bw dont get together more often. As rubir_ru stated, black women think that non-black men dont want them for anything other than sex. It is a defense mechanism. Yes a lot of black women sincerely love black men it is true. But brothers dont hold mystical powers over black women. There are more successful, wealthy, white men married to black women than you know or is publicized ( I hope I spelled that correctly). There is a blogsite that shows it and I will come back with that blogsite. But I will tell you that if more good looking, rich white men were approaching black women everyday, they would be leaving black men in droves. If there were more good everyday working or middleclass white men approaching black women everyday they would be leaving black men. Believe that. Black women are loyal but not that loyal. Now the other reason is that most white men dont know how to approach black women. There are white men out there that are attracted to but just dont go there. As a black woman, I cant say that I blame them. Dont get me wrong, I love the sisters but we are a bit to deal with. Not only are these white men scared of rejection but the way that the rejection will be played out. Black women can be kind of rough sometimes. At least that is the only sterotype you see of us. Sisters are very conservative and get offended at the drop of a hat. Now on the other hand, there are some amazing sisters out there and when those barriers are broken you will see some more hot relationships. Some of those barriers are actually being broken right now. The numbers will surface in the next few years of the increase. Black women need to get over that whole "nobody else wants us" syndrome. That is the real major reason that there is such a disparity.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  14.   jnr4ever says:
    Posted: 21 Jan 08

    I think more people will be honest in these polls because they have no name or face. So why not let spill. I often do the double take. Curiosity I guess, but it always makes me smile. People stare at us ALL the time. But I take it as a compliment. My wife is very beautiful and we make a very handsome couple.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  15. Posted: 09 Sep 07

    First, I want to say best of luck to Martha and her husband as they welcome their new family member. I found her comment about how people stare at them very interesting. I've been stared at, but I've also been guilty of the double-take. While there are some people who disapprove, I think others might be envious of you; they wish they had the courage to have an interracial relationship.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  16.   Martha says:
    Posted: 09 Sep 07

    Interesting article and I agree with laugh sailor that folks want to "appear progressive in polls, but approval of interracial marriages is something linked to experience most don't have in their lives and they fall back on stereotypes too easily". I'm a 27 yo Mexican-American women married to a 48 yo African-American man and I'm pregnant with our first child. I'm kind of petite and my belly is showing. Walking through the mall holding hands with my husband turns people's heads. I see people start whispering when they see us walking towards them. Some of them smile at us but others just stare. While I don't lose sleep about it I do wonder what kind of nasty thoughts go through their minds?!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  17.   rubie_ru says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 07

    could it be the 2.5 times more black men marring white women that are quick to cast doubts in there black sisters minds about what the white man only wants. in my 40 years of trying to have a relationship with a black woman that has been the most successful poision used to kill the relationship in the bud of an ivory man who wants nothing more than to make a special black woman happy and the queen of his life.and sex if one doesn't know, he and she will find out is not all that different with the lites out. it's the black woman's personality and approach to life and appreaciation of her man that makes her a queen.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  18.   starthai says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 07

    Great post VT :)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  19.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 07

    Vt you are never brief.You always make very good points on any of the topics or in general in the chat room.Keep it up sis.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  20.   musicman65 says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 07

    Thank you. I tried to make some good valid points. You just have to get past my typing errors....that is definitely not my strongest suit...lol...

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  21.   Jade74 says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 07

    Very good comments Musicman.Thanks

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  22.   fala says:
    Posted: 20 Aug 07

    Some good points Musicman.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  23.   musicman65 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 07

    Alot of polls are unrealiable. Which 83% of Americans were asked? What age group were they? What were the demographics and the size of the sample? What was the deviation of error of the sample? Is this a weighted average or a mean average? Its just like political polls. They are almost always off or skewed depending upon the auidance asked and how the data is evaluated. If you asked people in Manhattan, then 83% would probably be close to accurate. If you asked people in other parts of the country then this might not be a good number or the case. So 7% is probably a good number and relavant. I also think it is a accurate number given that Civil Rights laws are just over 40 years old (1966 passage). Our country is 231 years old so that is less the 18% of our history. As of my take, I believe we are becoming a much less "race based" society. Look at music, corporate America, politics and the number of multi-racial people of prominance (Derek Jeter, Tiger Woods, Halle Berry, Barack Obama). This would not have likely occured 30 years ago. Another factor is commonalities. We are all creatures of habit to some extent. Many people tent to congregate with people they know and so and so on due to geography, work situations, church or just natural habits,ect. Alot of it is location. When I lived in Queens New York, there were people that I knew that were 35 and older that had never been to the Satute of Liberty, the Empire State building and Yankee Statium. Was this because they had a disliking to any of these landmarks (and each landmark is no more than 10 miles away). Not really. They just never ventured out, had any interest and were in their own little safe havens that were comfortable to them. Some were Mets fans (so Yankees Stadium was not their thing), some did not have cars ect. The World is Flat is a real good book by Thomas Friedman of the New York Times. He is right. Our world is smaller all the time due to communications, trade and transportation From that standpoint we become more aware, better educated and comfortable with new ideas and interests as we become exposed to them. Pizza was around in America since the mid - 1800's but was rarely eaten or seen outside of Italian neighborhoods. It did not become popular until the GI's brought it back from WWI after being in Europe in the mid-1940's. I personally think that as we tend to move more in that direction, you will see more and more interracial relationships and you will see that number go well beyond 7% in the next decade. The best to all of you!

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  24.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 07

    I think that only you know the answer to that question Jabali.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  25. Posted: 17 Aug 07

    Great question, Jabali!!!! That's the type of CRITICAL THINKING we need to illuminate the fallacies in these types of questions and beliefs.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  26. Posted: 17 Aug 07

    The discrepancies between "attitudes and actions"....have been KNOWN for quite sometime, especialy when the questions are about "racial" acceptance. The same type of discrepancy arose when whites were asked "Would you welcome Blacks as neighbors?" Research into housing patterns show that "once a neighborhood becomes over 20% Black, whites start to move out." The same discrepancy arose when whites were asked about affrmative action. All of this tells us one thing: When asked questions about "race" issues face-to-face, whites will provide an answer that doesn't identify them as being racist. Another problem, in my opinion, with the Census data on inter-ethnic marriages is that "the increase in inter-ethnic marriages are being driven by 'Americans marrying immigrants'....while the rates between Blacks and whites and other groups living here for over 100 years are NOT increasing at the same rate." Don't be fooled.

    Like or Dislike: or 1 (-1)
    Reply to this comment
  27.   Jabali says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 07

    Could it be that we are brewing a storm in a teacup. I am a black guy. If I fell in love with a black lady does that in itself necessarily mean that I have rejected the idea of interracial marriage? Just asking.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment
  28.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 07

    Sad to hear Coco. Lol@Fala!!!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  29.   fala says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 07

    My thoughts exactly Mossimo. I guess great minds DO think alike! ;-)

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  30.   Cocokisses says:
    Posted: 16 Aug 07

    Very true Mossimo. People want to at least think they don't care until their son or daughter brings someone of another race home. I personally lived that horror...not something I want to re-live.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  31.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 16 Aug 07

    Perhaps 83% are ok with it as long as its in someone else's family. The not-in-my-backyard syndrome.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  32. Posted: 15 Aug 07

    Good insight, Ria - I agree that folks want to appear progressive in polls and that in itself is a good sign. I also think approal of interracial marriages is something linked to experience most don't have in their lives. Lacking that experience, they fall back on stereotypes too easily. I think there is a percentage of people that is enough to allow most people an experience of friends who are interracially married and that will tip the balance but we're not there, yet. As you pointed out, we're making progress, though!

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  33.   Kara says:
    Posted: 15 Aug 07

    I think you're definitely onto something with the suggestion that people being polled prefer to seem progressive and also to give the "right" answer in that context. Could also be that most of the 83% think it's fine for others--live and let live--but have no interest for themselves. I've gotta say, though, that other 17% scares the bejeezus outta me.

    Like or Dislike: or 0 (0)
    Reply to this comment
  34.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 14 Aug 07

    Very true....us moss people are moving toward a raceless society, I just wonder about the other 99% of Americans

    Like or Dislike: or 0 ()
    Reply to this comment