Is marrying for wealth such a bad idea?

Posted by Ria, 27 Aug 10

marrying for moneyWell, it all depends on how you look at it.

I hate being broke. Who doesn’t anyway! Its not like I am a gold digger or something but trust me, in my relationships, I have come to realize that a drop in cash flow affects my mood, hence how I relate to my spouse, hence the relationship. So for this reason, I love money. And for this reason, maybe I should follow the advice of Elizabeth Ford and Daniela Drake in their book ‘Smart Girls Marry Money - How Women Have Been Duped Into the Romantic Dream--And How They're Paying For It’ (who say that a husband’s paycheck is important) and get me some Rich Mr. Right ;-) .

These authors look at various angles of money and marriage ... including divorce. They talk about divorce settlements and how divorce exposes women to poverty. So according to them, marrying a good provider is entirely significant to an equitable settlement and urge ladies to settle for a package deal - a Mr.Right who is also a Mr. Rich.

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

But how do women choose their mates? Is it entirely for love or lovePlus?

Before, women used to look for men who could provide for them. And parents used to vet suitors based on their ability to provide. And if you look at some of these marriages which were based on practical reasons – the man’s ability to provide – they actually flourished into loving marriages. Even to date, a man’s status in society (not necessarily financial but personality, intelligence, well built body) is a very important attraction base for women.

Romanticizing about marriage is quite a new phenomenon. This is because women have gained financial autonomy. Coupled with the culture of ‘finding soulmates’ the significance of a man’s earning power has somewhat declined. According to the survey done by Ford and Drake, women who earn lots of money didn’t care much about money. Any cute guy would do. But for the low-income earners, money is very critical. Most single mothers said they would have married their baby daddy if he had a decent job.

Looking at most studies and my case for example, couples fight more about money issues than about other things. Constantly worrying about money has affected quite a number of relationships. And it’s even worse when children are involved. We all want the best for these cute money-sucking beings. Which is why some people opt to stay single … some opt not to get children because of their current financial situations.

But this doesn’t mean we ignore the love factor of the equation. Ideally, every girl wants a Rich Mr. Right. Do you think marrying a moneyed man is a better idea than marrying a broke guy you are head over heels in love with?

35 responses to "Is marrying for wealth such a bad idea?"

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  1.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 10

    The number one reason for divorce is money problems. Yes money matters.

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  2. Posted: 31 Oct 10

    I do not believe setting out to marry for money is anyone's agenda. However, I dated a man for 12 years whom I really loved. I fell in love with him instantly & thought that we would be able to build a life together. After finishing school, I realized that this man did not want to expand his horizons by getting an education. He would change jobs, sometimes not having a job at all for months. Also he had constant child support issues. If I had married this man, his issues would have become my issues. The court is able to use my salary to award how much child support his ex-girlfriend gets. My tax refund can also be garnished if we file jointly & he is in the rear. (not fair). Also buying a house, or obtaining any kind of property with someone who is not financially compatible or just not motivated to make life better for the family is unacceptable. There will be a life of hardships, constant confusion, & ultimately, a lack of respect. Every girl wants a man she can be proud of. Having a husband & borrowing money from family & friends to stay afloat is certainly not the ideal life.

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 10

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  4.   nenaone says:
    Posted: 28 Sep 10

    I am not judging you. Its just my opinion and nothing more. For me , just for me marrying for money is a very bad idea. I have never dated anyone because they could give me anything. Im all about chemistry and marriage is about: intimacy, being friends, being lovers, lifting each other up, support, trust, being there, heat, hot sex, attraction, and so much that money can not buy. A million dollar bill, a new car or pair diamond earrings cant kiss you or bring you to ecstasy.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  5.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 19 Sep 10

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  6.   Sirdavies says:
    Posted: 18 Sep 10

    Its totally wrong to base a relationship on material things like money or wealth. Relationship should be based on love and most importantly trust. NOT WEALTH

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  7.   Kelligirl says:
    Posted: 17 Sep 10

    naaa...I'll never "settle" I'm gonna find my Prince....or maybe he will find me this time!!!!!!!!!!!!! Money....you'll never have enough.....so give me the "real thing" PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8.   Jan says:
    Posted: 15 Sep 10

    Has anyone read the article, Most couples fighting directly ties into money issues. Mr. Right is someone u r compatible in every aspect that is important to u, that is why he is Mr. Right. If he was not then he is Mr. Wrong. Also, there is nothing wrong with wanting him to be rich if u r not or even if u r. It is a preference. Anyway....... most rich people marry rich. Again my stance is marrying for money+love is using your smarts. And for the girls that have and will I say, Go girls let your independence roar!

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  9. Posted: 15 Sep 10

    Women in here in Cali don't have to worry about marrying a rich man because the courts will find a way to give them money even if they both were low income. The fact is the guy still loses no matter what. Prenups mean absolutely nothing (ask Johnny Carson or Frank McCort owner to the LA Dodgers) since the courts have set their guidelines to destroy any man under the impress of being fair who earns more than his spouse....It's a shame, but its reality.

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  10.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 10

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  11.   Jan says:
    Posted: 12 Sep 10

    Don't be stuuuuuuuuuuuuuupid. Money is important. Lack of money is the major cause of divorce. Of course he should be Rich, Mr. Right. Mr. Right is Loveplus. enough said.

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  12.   bijourex says:
    Posted: 08 Sep 10

    IT IS A BAD IDEA!! PERIOD!!

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  13.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 10

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  14.   1Bee says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 10

    ummm just depends on what you want. i don't think it is too bad to go for someone who has a good economic standing. i love the finer things in life. however, spending all your time with someone you don't love may get old. it could be a business partnership though.....you could both cheat. or you can get married for the googly stuff and hope that he has money. i would personally start hanging around people who have money. they have personalities too! you're bound to hit it off with one of them :)

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  15.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 10

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  16.   canadiangc says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 10

    If you are going to marry for wealth.. Marry young to an older man, so that you have the rest of your life to find love.

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  17. Posted: 01 Sep 10

    The best advice I received as a young woman was "Become the man you want to marry". It was a powerful concept that shifted my attitude to one of self-reliance. I still find this concept helpful. It applies to life in general. If you are looking to another person to meet your needs, financial or otherwise, you are denying yourself personal growth in that area of your life.

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  18.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 10

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  19. Posted: 30 Aug 10

    nothing wrong with having financial stability. But it shouldn't be the focus of a relationship.

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  20.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 10

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  21. Posted: 29 Aug 10

    I'm with you teri2009 - it's all about companionship for me. Money isn't an essential ingredient.

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  22.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 10

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  23.   teri2009 says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 10

    I personally am very content with the material things I've obtained on my own. I am looking for a man of substance. My best friend...someone to share my life with-good and bad. I want to navigate through life with someone that is able to laugh and love no matter what his financial status is at the time. Just because someone has money today it doesn't mean they'll have it tomorrow.

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  24.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 10

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      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  25. Posted: 28 Aug 10

    Wealth does seem to offer a certain attraction.

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  26.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 10

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  27.   jaydub2468 says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

    Of course money matters. It is amazing how much more witty, handsome, and an overall better catch I became since I finished law school. That's life, I suppose.

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 22 Oct 10

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  28.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 10

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