Is sleeping apart the key to a happy marriage?
A woman faced jail after stabbing and beating her husband to death. In Britain, one in four couples resort to separate beds. Reason? SNORING partners :lol:
The above are tragic-comic glimpses into a serious but rarely discussed issue for couples – sleep incompatibilities. My dude wakes me up more than six times a night because he keeps snoring and fidgeting. Wonder what he does in his dreams. Well, I am not alone. Both men and women suffer just like me.
According to Doctor Chris Alford, sleep psychologist, University of the West of Eng land, sleep conflicts = relationship conflicts. The problem is so great and more people seem to be taking to single beds. And if the analysts’ predictions are true, come 2015, more than 60% of custom built houses in Britain will have dual master bedrooms.
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Is this the way to go?
Well, snoring is the most obvious cause of bedtime tension (and those that play computer games in bed, don’t think you have escaped). Snorers may be denying their partners two hours of sleep. And don’t get me started with all the kicking during dreams, blanket wrestling … I could go on.
Then we have the larks (those that go to bed early) and the owls (the late nighters). Now imagine if your partner is a lark and you an owl. What time will you communicate? And what time will you do the did? Schedule it?
What can a couple do? Only so much. According to Professor Jim Horne of the Loughborough University Sleep Research Centre, sleep conflicts seem to be bound up with fundamental biological and behavioral differences of the sexes. After attaching movement monitors to men and women sleepers, men moved much more than women and were much more likely to disrupt women’s sleep than the other way round.
Why? Hormonal fluctuations during a menstrual cycle can disrupt sleep. And male assertiveness plays a part too. Sammy Margo, author of 'The Good Sleep Guide', believes that couples shouldn’t despair since her book aims to provide practical solutions to people with sleep problems.
“When couples first start sleeping together, they are willing to sacrifice comfort to be closes to their partner. After a while, when emotional closeness is assured, many just want to have a good night’s sleep again. This isn’t selfish, distant or unromantic, it’s just practical,᾿ she explains.
Much as she gives advice on how to go about all this, Margo still feels that a couple with serious sleep conflicts should consider separate beds.
And who came up with this idea of couples sleeping together? Could sleeping in separate beds save you from hacking your partner to death or impair your love life? Well, I think it can be a sign of a strongly bonded couple communicating their needs.
But if you feel it will wreck it, why not go the Queen Victoria way … have separate bedrooms and leave a bowl of oranges outside your door for your Prince Albert whenever you are in the mood of some steamy loving. Apparently they used to appear almost every night.
What do you think?
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