Is your relationship sabotaging your weight loss goals?

Posted by Ria, 16 Apr 11

weight loss in relationships “I have to wear a 2 piece bikini this summer”. That has always been my diet motivation – getting that bikini body I see models and pretty petite women flaunting in magazines and on the beach. But once you achieve this dream, how do you think your spouse would feel about your hot bod? Does he really want you to succeed?

The thing is, most women tend to rely on their partner’s remarks and reactions to their efforts to change their physical appearance. And how the men in their lives respond to this process of change may affect their progress – consciously or subconsciously.

Most of us women love to believe that our men are behind our weight loss efforts 100%... or at least that is what they say. So if he is really supportive, why does he keep shoving fatty restaurant foods your way? Why does he bring home those chocolates and doughnuts when he knows too well how much you can't resist them?

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Some women’s interpretation of such gestures is "romantic". "He brings them because he wants to make me happy" they think. I thinkm this has SABOTAGE written all over it. This non-supportive side of a spouse should be explored and seen for what it exactly is. When you tell your man you are on a weight loss program, he should acknowledge how important changing your diet is for the success of the program.

But why would a man tell you he is supportive then act as if he just wants you to fail?

Could it be he is insecure about what the change might mean (you being more attractive, more confident, more in control?) He probably thinks you may not need him or want him as much. Such anxiety about this change might knowingly or unknowingly make a man bring you those things you love in order to prevent what he is afraid will happen from happening.

Or maybe he is in tune with your feelings, sees how the diet and exercises stress you and just wants to put a smile on your face. So the chocolates and dinner could be his way of easing the discomfort. And much as you may want to diet, the moment your spouse hints that the dieting is causing you discomfort and that he doesn’t want to see you suffer, all your diet resolutions begin to suffer too.

See, even a partners who seem to be out rightly sabotaging your weight loss efforts may sincerely want you to succeed and be happy. But that anticipated change might bring anxiety to your spouse which may affect your relationship in future. This is where weight loss complicates the emotional arena of a relationship. And when your spouse’s emotions come into play, you might as well kiss that bikini dream goodbye.

If you notice such conscious or subconscious efforts to sabotaging your weight loss dreams, talk it out with your partner. Be assertive about what your goals are and specifically tell him the kind of support you expect from him (not the chocolate-donut kind). And if he is insecure that you might catch other men’s eyes, reassure him and make him see that you are doing it for yourself – to feel good about yourself. One thing for sure is that a supportive partner = higher chances of success.

2 responses to "Is your relationship sabotaging your weight loss goals?"

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  1.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 21 Apr 11

    QUOTING THE LAST 2 PARAGRAPHS... "See, even a partners who seem to be out rightly sabotaging your weight loss efforts may sincerely want you to succeed and be happy. But that anticipated change might bring anxiety to your spouse which may affect your relationship in future.... ...talk it out with your partner. Be assertive about what your goals are and specifically tell him the kind of support you expect from him (not the chocolate-donut kind). And if he is insecure that you might catch other mens eyes, reassure him and make him see that you are doing it for yourself to feel good about yourself. One thing for sure is that a supportive partner = higher chances of success. Evolution, progress, regression, growth, changewhatever you wanna call it, is INEVITABLE! We must first examine, our motives for helping or hindering change. What is the motive? Secondly, with clarity and kindness, we must communicate with our partner, our intentions and explore the impact of the change. In this conversation, evaluate the needs, desires and insecurities of ALL parties (incl children, relatives, pets, etc). Finally, revisit and repeat the topic regularly. Positive reinforcement is always appreciated.

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  2.   iceburger says:
    Posted: 18 Apr 11

    If one enters into a relationship to change the other, then they are not supposed to be in a relationship in the first place. Love someone as they are, not what you want them to be.

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