Keeping secrets: should it be a deal breaker?
Some time back, I posted the article “Should you keep secrets from your partner?” Well this prompted one of the blog readers to post a question about what is going through in her life. Kindly have a read and help.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost 2 years. He asked me everything about my life… and I told him coz I don’t wanna keep secrets from him. When I asked him about himself - if he's ever been married – his answer has always been “NO”. He said he has a kid with his ex-girlfriend but they were not married. I have trusted him for 2 years. Few days back, his ex called. I felt that there was something wrong behind the calls… and I was right! He confessed that he was married when he was 20 years old but they broke-up in 2007. It hurts me so much…. Is it a right decision to break up with him for keeping secrets all these years? Please help me!
Well, there you have it. I think everyone has secrets and some of us keep these secrets because we don't know how the other person would react if they found out ‘such stuff’ about us. Some of us lie thinking that our lies might save our relationships. Some lie because the truth might hurt the other person real bad. Problem is, the truth has a way of finding our a**es and biting them.
I don’t know whether this dude and the ex are officially divorced or just went their separate ways. What I would do is probably find out why he lied in the first place and why the ex suddenly decided to start calling. I think there is more to the lies than just him being married before. Those answers will somehow assist you in making the decision.
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Keeping that secret may not necessarily be a deal breaker but the motive behind keeping the secret may be. What do the rest of you feel?
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