The other day, a friend of mine confessed that all the while she’s been married; she has never been in love with her husband. She only did it because she was trying to please everyone but herself … doing what she thought she was supposed to; marry a nice man … the kind any woman would want for a husband.
Now, guilt is eating her up and it has made her shut down emotionally. And to paint for you the gravity of the situation, there are children in the equation. He is not only a great father, but also a great husband and friend to her. Now she feels she has missed out on feelings … the madly-in-love bliss that people feel at some stage of romance … the heart-pounding kind of feeling …
Should she walk away from the marriage or should she hold out for hope that she will eventually develop feelings for him? Would you stay in marriage where you feel no sexual attraction nor emotional attachment just because your spouse is a great person?
I agree, LQ.
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That is very powerful of what you said and it’s okay to say what is on our minds. This response is about Starx. Keep up the good work and good luck on your success with your family.
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Dear Mr Laurelton Queens,
I’m sorry you think I’m a selfish bitch…that fact is I am trying to be selfless and put my feelings aside for the sake of my children having a secure (by means of Father and Mother together….NOT Financal) and happy young life. I do not need material things and the only reason I moved back into the family home was because of other family members pressures. I developed feelings for someone else and didnt act on them (that shows integrity and morals!) I earn my own money and can support my children with or without my husband. I have worked (part-time) and minded my sisters children through them being babies.
Sorry you feel so strongly about my situation and me…..maybe past experience?
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I am trying to make things work you know….I do love my husband and he is a good man and a great dad….I just wish I could feel ‘that’ way about him.
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Starx….you need to be warned that their are just some narrow-minded people that cruise this blog…that clearly have nothing better to do that try and tear people down….sad hobby to have.
Yes, L. Queens, I am stick my BIG,FAT nose in because….guess what??….I CAN…..LOL.
Peace and Blessings
tatted2death
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Dear Starx
I doubt that you are truly independent. You would have never bowed to the pressure of family. If you stayed in for the “children”, I can admire that to a certain degree. I just think you are making the situation worse if you don’t love your husband anymore. It always ends up exploding in your face.
By your own admission, you said you were never really in love with your husband. You work part time and take care of your sister’s children. I think you would “like” to think your truly independent. I do respect the fact you do take care of home. That is extremely tough to do. I never looked down on a house wife or a woman that has domestic skills. That is extremely hard to find nowadays.
Personally, what I think about you. Instead of a swift kick in the butt for your husband. You need a damn wake up call! You are really self absorbed.If I was your husband, I would tell yea go out and meet other men and see how they treat you! Your going to fucking wish you had a hard working man back that loved you.
As for my experience, yea I been in the role of your husband. It always comes back to the woman. They end calling you like ” oh my life is miserable”. Why did I leave, and all this shit.
I firmly believe in Karma. When Karma hits your ass it is not going to be pretty. Judging from your story, your husband seems like a good man. You never said he cheated on you. You said he works hard everyday. I think some women don’t seem to understand how good they had it with a good man. So they take that “gamble” and fuck themselves.
I think women just don’t seem to understand men. Disloyalty and dishonesty is like the worst thing you can do. Everybody talk about infidelity, some men may forgive you for that. Now the dishonesty about how you really feel about him. That is really unforgivable.
The truth usually comes out in angry argument. The true colors always come out eventually. He should take the kids and tell you to get the fuck out and whore yourself.
LOL Tatt, she deserved to get torn down. I am not tearing her down actually.
SOMEBODY needs to tell her the real deal.
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Starx,
Since you say you’ve already moved out, just get on with your life so he can start to get on with his. It’s going to hurt him for sure, but so is knowing that his wife really doesn’t love him and cringes at the thought of being with him. It seems like you already know what to do. Make sure he has joint custody. I hope you weren’t thinking of NOT doing that in lieu of divorce seeing as thought you said, “I earn my own money and can support my children with or without my husband.” What’s the point of mentioning that? Just get it over with and let those kids have two bedrooms and Christmas’s. My mom was a navy wife for 30 years, so my dad was gone 5-7 months out of the year. She had Jesus. I don’t know what you have, but it sounds like what you really need in your life, a man or woman cannot provide.
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I think Starx is a great guy and he made some good points. My boyfriend loved your feed back and how positive you were. Never did you sound angry, but maybe exhausted from some of the comments. Keep up with positive words.
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There are no winners if she stays. Everybody might win if she goes. It’s not easy but it seems right.
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I would Go Go Go!!!
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