Men can comfortably date porn

Posted by Ria, 20 Aug 11

men and pornBecause of his abuse of porn, writer Davy Rothbart had to fake his orgasms when having sex with a woman. Porn had made climaxing during real sexual intercourse quite impossible for him. So does the bond men have with porn affect their ability to satisfy women? Is porn making men disconnect with their partners?

Just by looking the huge difference between porn’s fireworks, the only-imaginable sex positions and the calm, ordinary sex a man has with his woman answers that question. I mean, how does one switch the gears?

Most men addicted to porn have confessed to their flags going half-mast when they start going at it with a woman. Stefan, a 43-year-old composer has to replay the porn scenes in his head in order to climax. “Something is lost there. I’m no longer with my wife; I’m inside my own head”, he admits. “How could you be constantly synthesizing an orgasm based on dozens of shots? You’re looking for the one photo out of 100 you swear is going to be the one you finish to, and you still don’t finish … How does that not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to”, John Mayer tells Playboy in a candid interview.

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Besides the above, more and more men confessed to the disconnect they are having with their women that has been brought about by porn in an interesting news feature of the New York Magazine. “I used to race home to have sex with my wife. Now I leave work a half-hour early so I can get home before she does and masturbate to porn. It’s like I’ve got this ‘other woman’ … and the ‘other woman’ is porn,” says 41 year old Perry.

Here is what scientists believe to be the reason that makes porn-obsessed men detach from their women:

… a dopamine-oxytocin combo is released in the brain during orgasm, acting as a “biochemical love potion,” as behavioral therapist Andrea Kuszewski calls it. It’s the reason after having sex with someone, you’re probably more inclined to form an emotional attachment. But you don’t have to actually have sex in order to get those neurotransmitters firing. When you watch porn, “you’re bonding with it,” Kuszewski says. “And those chemicals make you want to keep coming back to have that feeling.” Which allows men not only to get off on porn but to potentially develop a neurological attachment to it. They can, in essence, date porn.

See, one thing that porn does for men, that most women fail miserably at, is its ability to satisfy their lust for variety. And to be honest, this is something most women can't compete with. Some women have tried to up the ante by reenacting those very porn scenes their men get off on. Only problem is: "Men, as a result, get really freaked out. They don’t want their real women and their fantasy women to inhabit the same body."

So how can any woman possibly compete with this 'other woman', Porn? How has porn affected your real sex life?

4 responses to "Men can comfortably date porn"

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  1.   Root58 says:
    Posted: 24 Aug 11

    Porn is unrealistic. Most women don't act like those so-n-sews you see in pron movies. It's someone's fantasy act. I don't see how anyone can spend any amount of time watching porn movies. You know what the movie is going to be about because you have seen it in all of the other porn movies you've seen. Yet right!...Try having sex with most women who you met at the water fountain at work, use the same fake sexy voice they use in porn movies, and see what happens to your behind. You are going to jail for sexual assault. Either that or you might get knocked out! And at the very least, you going to be laughed at. I know that I would laugh at you.

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  2.   SugahRush says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 11

    Tough & touchy subject. But it's not that complicated. If porn brings to your life truth, nobility, righteousness, admiration/respect, excellence and praise--by all means party on. But if it depletes these from your life; if your [love] life seems devoid of these things; IF YOU CAN DO BETTER--OR HAVE BETTER--OR HAVE THE CHANCE TO DO BETTER...RETHINK YOUR STRATEGY. IMHO, most men or women would be ashamed, insulted & infuriated to learn that a Lover fantasized about SOMEONE ELSE when they were together. HOWZAT SUPPOSED TO WORK? Some uncommon sense says: "In this same way husbands (men) ought to love their wives (women) as their own bodies. He who loves his wife (woman) loves himself..(WOW!!)...each one of you must love his wife (woman) as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband (man)." Ephesians 5:28,33 "Finally, brothers [and sisters], whatever is true, noble, right, lovely, admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about these things!" Phil 4:8 What is your vision for your life with another? Does porn clarify your vision? If not, Change your FOCUS, change your VISION!

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  3.   Root58 says:
    Posted: 22 Aug 11

    I don't see what all of the hoopla about porn is anyways. I mean, after you've seen porn the first time, it's boring anyways, and....OOOH, SO PREDICTABLE!!!

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  4.   onetreehill says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 11

    I don't think women need to compete with the Porn industry. If I viewed whatever my mate was going through as a problem, I would want to support him. If it affected our relationship, I would want us to see a therapist. I would assume if my spouse needed to porn, there may be disconnect somewhere in our relationship. If I truly loved him, I would try to work on it "with him".

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