Mr/Mrs wrong could be right
“Why is it so hard to meet the perfect spouse?᾿ Does this sound like anyone you know; or you perhaps?
You have searched for your perfect one but nothing has come out of it. Don’t you think its time you peered more closely to Mr. or Mrs. Potential? Fine so he’s not exactly the type you had your eyes on. But before you shove the middle finger in his face, it won’t hurt to take a second look.
Most people are pressed to define what makes a spouse normal and some even unleash a laundry list of criteria. “5 feet 10, younger than 33 but older than me, well built, decent full-time job᾿ e.t.c. Its no surprise to hear that the last time you had a real date, Queen Elizabeth was just some groovy chic.
Your perfect partner could be online right now...
What are you looking for?
Sometimes we are so engrossed in finding this ‘package’ that we let a lot of nice people – almost perfect – just pass us by. All we do is put labels on people and just weed out potential mates in search for that ‘package’. “Oh! She’s too tall᾿, “He’s white᾿, “She’s too skinny᾿, “He’s too old᾿. And while at it, you run the risk of cutting off a perfect connection with that ‘less than perfect’ someone who could have enriched your life.
Look at most people who are against interracial relationships for example. You might have met this person at some party and had a real connection. BUT, Oh NO! He or she is not someone of your race. And while your friends nudge you to this person you put a full stop with “You know I don’t date outside my race.᾿ And there goes the chance of a perfect relationship.
Sometimes, Mr. Unemployed may not bring home the bacon but before you bolt, try to find out why he is unemployed. He probably just quit his unsatisfying job and is searching for greener pastures.
So he or she is divorced – damaged goods we like to say. Look at it this way; he or she doesn’t have fear of commitment like most men do especially. Try finding out if he or she is still bitter about it to move on. Most divorcees actually mature from their divorces and turn into better spouses. So if they still respect their exes, then at least you know you will get respected too.
Then there are the long distance partners. You think he is great but he lives half a continent away. Cross-country love isn’t that bad. And looking at success stories that come by as a result of online dating, then you need not to worry. You may find that it may be more fulfilling than a face-to-face relationship because you pack all appreciations and passion for each other in short but intense stretches. And if you are the independent type, hallelujah to that. Focus on the positives like say you don’t fight so much.
Pardon me for using this example but for the sake of this article, there are those we think are ugly but nice. You have checked out everything on your list except the looks. Remember ‘Beauty and the Beast’? Beast won Beauty’s heart and you went ewww! coz you just aren’t crazy about dating someone who is beautiful on the inside.
Even if the frog doesn’t turn into a prince when you kiss him, people who see themselves as plain looking develop other parts of their personality which are necessary for a good relationship to thrive on. Remember, familiarity doesn’t always breed contempt – it often breeds acceptance. Go out on two or three dates before you let yourself miss out on one great opportunity. You may be surprised at how un-superficial you really are.
Then there’s the cute but dumb; if only he had a brain… "So he’s not a Harvard graduate" … "so she’s blonde"... But did you ever stop to think that this person could be emotionally smart or creative or street smart? If you look inside yourself you may find that just maybe, your apprehension stems from your fear of what others will think.
But then again, wouldn't life be boring with someone who talks the same as you and everyone in your social circle? You never know, this person you want to dismiss can teach you things you will live to thank them for.
Then there are the never-been-married in their 40s. My mum used to tell me if I ever met such a guy, then he must be having some problem. Does this make them like some debris being pushed out to sea? I don’t think so. Maybe this is just a person who is more realistic about romance than those that walk down the aisle prematurely and divorce before the honeymoon’s over.
Don’t write people off too soon. Take a deeper look and understand why he or she is still a lone wolf. He or she may have just been waiting for the right person to come along: YOU! ;-)
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