Online dating blunders people make

Posted by Ria, 02 Nov 10

online dating blundersIf you are hot and are dating online, you will definitely receive tonnes of emails, flirts and IMs from men and women regularly. But the thing is; the approaches most of us take to get noticed by the other person portray us negatively hence we tend to get fewer and fewer responses for our efforts. Instead of doing what everyone is going for, why not take an approach that makes you stick out?

Below are some of the things you should avoid if you want to be taken seriously:

“So and so has sent you a flirt”. “So and so has added you to her favorites.” Are these things supposed to make me stop what I am doing, go through your profile and send you a message? I do not dispute that these are great gestures. But if you ask me, they are no different than some stranger winking at you somewhere on the streets. It’s just an appreciation of your beauty or profile.

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But I wouldn’t expect someone who is really interested in me to just send me a flirt because all the other people bumping into my profile are probably doing it too. Flirts sometimes scream ‘too lazy to take a few minutes to type a few words’. If you want someone to respond to your efforts, write to them. You could start off with what caught your eye in their profile and ask a few questions to give them some reason to write back to you. Plus avoid complimenting too much on someones physical appearance lest you come off as too superficial.

The other blunder people make is IMing before they even make some form of proper contact. Yes, IM is one of the ways to communicate to each other when dating online but when its the initial contact, it can be such an imposition. Most people who do this end up getting ignored or blocked. Once again, an email is a better way to make initial contact because it gives the person you are interested in the chance to go through your profile at their own convenience and reply to you if they feel the need to as opposed to the normal “Are you free to chat?” …followed by insults when you get ignored.

More than 1000 words on a profile! I don’t think the person looking for a potential mate wants to know your whole life history at a glance. It seems a little too self-centered of someone. 10 words are not gonna cut it either. It makes a person look lazy or seem like someone with no substance … with nothing valuable to say.

It’s good to talk about the things you love and those you don’t. Try and be as positive as you possibly can and say a little about the kind of person you are hoping to meet. And while at it upload a photo that speaks volumes about you. Shallow as it might seem, it’s the only way to get most people interested at a glance. If you can, put up more than one photo in different backgrounds so they can say a little about your hobbies… and smile! A photo with a smile is easier to warm up to.

The biggest blunder of all when dating only is sending spiteful messages and hurling insults at someone for not responding to you. Given the huge database of people online, why be so pissed at someone who owes you no explanation for their choices? Much as its polite to explain why a person didn’t respond to you, they are under no obligation to do so.

Maybe the person has been too busy to go online and read their message and their non-respond didn’t necessarily mean rejection. That spiteful message might ruin any chance you possibly had with them. The best thing is to just let go and move on. If somewhere along the way they respond to you, good on you. If they don’t, you have moved on so nothing’s lost.

10 responses to "Online dating blunders people make"

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  1.   Tayra01 says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 10

    This is a great article! Thank you for publishing it because we all need it.

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  2.   kissime says:
    Posted: 16 Nov 10

    I do hope this post is as popular as the rest 'cause lord knows there are too many guilty of committing these crimes mentioned. 'spiteful messages and hurling insults' I've endured many. It's annoying because- 1st of all it's not called for- 2 nd if they'd read my profile & respected it they wouldn't had felt rejected in the 1st place because they would not write me. Seriously, another agitation for me is .when I get on-line & I have 10 flirts, I get so excited & as I scroll down they're all by the same man, or men apparently did not bother to read my profile or at least scroll down to the end of my profile which clearly states my interest.

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 10

    Also, if you leave too many "find out laters" in your profile especially if you have that in the section of kids or other important areas as opposed to unimportant areas(like hair color and eye color), that is likely to turn a lot of people off especially guys because they think you have something to hide that you are trying to snag them first and then tell them later after they are hooked making things awkward. So try not to leave too many of those blank if you can help it. Be as honest as you can.

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  4.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 15 Nov 10

    I agree with the article as a whole but if you are one of the few people who is really fussy about what you want, make your profile as long as you want to make sure people get the exact idea of what you are looking for. I have read some fantastic profiles that were really long put out by women who were very specific about what they wanted and covered all the bases of what they didn't want to save time. I commend these people because they save everyone time by being honest about what they want and not having to weed out people that they are incompatible with. So if you are the general populace and you don't really care as much about who you date, then keep your profile short but if you are one of the rare few of us who are really, really, fussy about who we date, it is better to make your profile as long as possible so you don't waste time with rejection with someone who isn't compatible who could have been avoided if you were more specific in your profile. The length of mine sure weeds people out left and right and I believe saves them even more grief and aggravation then it does me!!

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  5. Posted: 12 Nov 10

    Excellent advice...

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  6.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 10

    This is perfect advice. For once a blog that does more good then harm.

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  7.   libqueen_82 says:
    Posted: 08 Nov 10

    EVERYONE on this site should read this because almost EVERY profile i come across could use these advices...hopefully a lot more people can take heed to these advices then maybe we can ALL accomplish what we came on here to do...

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  8.   Aphrodite20 says:
    Posted: 05 Nov 10

    That's a big red flag...If someone gets angry about you not reading or responding to their email it just means that they might have some underlying mental issues! Run!

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    • Cynamyn82 says:
      Posted: 08 Nov 10

      LOL Afphrodite20 I had this happen to me a couple of times on this site and others. Good thing there is the "blocking" feature on this site.

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  9.   Cynamyn82 says:
    Posted: 04 Nov 10

    Now this right here is some great dating advice!

    Well-loved. Like or Dislike: or 1 ()
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