Online dating blunders people make
If you are hot and are dating online, you will definitely receive tonnes of emails, flirts and IMs from men and women regularly. But the thing is; the approaches most of us take to get noticed by the other person portray us negatively hence we tend to get fewer and fewer responses for our efforts. Instead of doing what everyone is going for, why not take an approach that makes you stick out?
Below are some of the things you should avoid if you want to be taken seriously:
“So and so has sent you a flirt”. “So and so has added you to her favorites.” Are these things supposed to make me stop what I am doing, go through your profile and send you a message? I do not dispute that these are great gestures. But if you ask me, they are no different than some stranger winking at you somewhere on the streets. It’s just an appreciation of your beauty or profile.
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But I wouldn’t expect someone who is really interested in me to just send me a flirt because all the other people bumping into my profile are probably doing it too. Flirts sometimes scream ‘too lazy to take a few minutes to type a few words’. If you want someone to respond to your efforts, write to them. You could start off with what caught your eye in their profile and ask a few questions to give them some reason to write back to you. Plus avoid complimenting too much on someones physical appearance lest you come off as too superficial.
The other blunder people make is IMing before they even make some form of proper contact. Yes, IM is one of the ways to communicate to each other when dating online but when its the initial contact, it can be such an imposition. Most people who do this end up getting ignored or blocked. Once again, an email is a better way to make initial contact because it gives the person you are interested in the chance to go through your profile at their own convenience and reply to you if they feel the need to as opposed to the normal “Are you free to chat?” …followed by insults when you get ignored.
More than 1000 words on a profile! I don’t think the person looking for a potential mate wants to know your whole life history at a glance. It seems a little too self-centered of someone. 10 words are not gonna cut it either. It makes a person look lazy or seem like someone with no substance … with nothing valuable to say.
It’s good to talk about the things you love and those you don’t. Try and be as positive as you possibly can and say a little about the kind of person you are hoping to meet. And while at it upload a photo that speaks volumes about you. Shallow as it might seem, it’s the only way to get most people interested at a glance. If you can, put up more than one photo in different backgrounds so they can say a little about your hobbies… and smile! A photo with a smile is easier to warm up to.
The biggest blunder of all when dating only is sending spiteful messages and hurling insults at someone for not responding to you. Given the huge database of people online, why be so pissed at someone who owes you no explanation for their choices? Much as its polite to explain why a person didn’t respond to you, they are under no obligation to do so.
Maybe the person has been too busy to go online and read their message and their non-respond didn’t necessarily mean rejection. That spiteful message might ruin any chance you possibly had with them. The best thing is to just let go and move on. If somewhere along the way they respond to you, good on you. If they don’t, you have moved on so nothing’s lost.
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