Poll: Strategies interracial couples use to deal with those unwanted stares and remarks
When I put up the recent poll on our site about those nasty remarks and judgmental stares interracial couples get and how we deal with them, to be honest, I never expected the results that we got... that 64% of the people who voted have never experienced any of that.
See, having been a blog writer for quite a while, what I mostly read about interracial couples and their experiences is mostly the negative. Very few times do you get the results that our poll just got … that being in an interracial relationship doesn’t seem to be that much of a deal anymore. These results are full proof of what our society has become... ACCEPTING!
27% of us ignore such stares. This is the same advice Chris Brown (black) who has been married to his wife Sara Uppena (white) for 10 years (in an article Three interracial couples say that difference does not define them) got from his grandfather the first time he took her home: "If anyone has a problem with you, you should completely ignore them." And this is some advice he took to heart. So ignoring is the best thing a couple can do when faced with such. Don’t look for approval or disapproval from onlookers. As Chris puts it: "In the end, you're the one who has to decide. You have to live your own life. You can't live for anyone else."
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5% of us went with Acknowledgment. It’s all about body language here. In the same article, Vernon Grant (black) who has been married to Lauren Grant (white) for 29 years calls it "The Look - a subtle facial gesture … that … tells them: Deal with it. Move on."
4% of us went with confrontation. Confrontation doesn’t have to be violent. Grant recalls one time when some drunk white boys made some comments about them being an interracial couple: "Lauren gave them a really nasty look, just stopped and stood up and looked at them and stared them down. They just melted away, just disappeared." But after a while he said they learned to ignore such negativity.
One thing Grant admits is that those negative stares and remarks happen less often these days. And as much as I sometimes bombard you with articles about how a few people still find interracial couples repulsive, one thing this poll has made me acknowledge is the fact that generally, no one really cares who we choose to date and marry.
The verdict is out! We are ACCEPTING!
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