Relationship issues: To tell or not to tell
Is it ok to spill your relationship issues to your best friends?
When it comes to relationships, most people – women especially – find it hard to balance between respecting their partners and confiding in friends. I am a woman and trust me…that line is very thin!
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Most women love to bi*** about negative aspects of their relationships to the girls over bottles of wine. (Mmm… I love those sittings). Men on the other hand expect their women to keep every negative aspect of their relationships from the girlfriends. Most women love to seek a second opinion from their friends especially when they can’t get through to their boyfriends and need help sorting their issues. Some men do it too. They tell their pals negative stuff about their relationships. But how ok is this? Where should one draw the line?
If you are in a serious relationship and are building a permanent intimate relationship, then it is time to keep problems between the two of you to yourselves. Half the time, when we bi*** about our spouses, we do so under anger and frustration. And we end up painting a very ugly picture about them to our friends. And even after the two of you have sorted your issues out, your pals will never stop bi***ing about him or her. Much as you once said bad stuff about your spouse in anger, it’s hard to hear your friends dissing him especially after things have been sorted out and all is well.
Imagine how he or she would feel if one of your friends hinted about your issues to him? Less trusting and betrayed? You bet. You need to know what your spouse feels uncomfortable or embarrassed about. This will help you know whether to talk about stuff with your pals in general or specific terms.
Women, please, stay off sexual topics. When a pal of mine hooked up with some guy, she couldn’t wait to come and tell us the guy had trouble getting it up. We even nicknamed him ED (Erectile Dysfunction). Well, they are now married and she is so in love with him. But the thing is, most of my pals still call him ED and inquire whether they get anything done in bed. This really humiliates her. Well it aint even about her. You can talk about your spouse’s work problems but don’t tell your friends stuff about his sexual inadequacies or his finances. These are things that will determine whether your friends will respect him or not. And you don’t want your friends not respecting your dude.
In a loving relationship (not the one you have with our friends :lol: ), honesty is the best policy. Sneaking around telling your friends is almost sure to come out, which can only harm the relationship. Much as our friends provide a healthy balance to relationships, it is important to let them know that you want to keep some things about your spouse private, so that when it’s a bi***ing session and you aint bi***ing, they don’t interpret it as you pulling away from them.
Is confiding in your friends a betrayal and a violation of your spouse’s privacy? Does the topic of discussion determine whether or not it’s a betrayal? Where should we draw the line when it comes to such ‘fun gossip’?
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