She left her husband and children for black men

Posted by Ria, 12 Mar

My pal divorced her husband and left her kids to try ‘something new’ - dating black men. Much as I am pro-interracial dating, I kind of got pissed at her. Why would she do such a thing? Why doesn’t she want anything to do with her kids?

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Is it ok to act on your mid-life crisis, pack up and just follow your heart? Am I the one who is selfish here or is she?

85 responses to "She left her husband and children for black men"

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  1.   xtangiex says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    It does not matter the color of a man! What is the problem is the fact she left her CHILDREN! Any woman that does this and the man that accepts it have many underlying issues and sounds like unfortunatly the children are better off! I left my husband (white) after 13 years because I was beyond unhappy! I took my kids with me!! Any man I find would have to accept them too they are a part of me and my blessing and responsibility in life!! Any man that can not accept them is NOT a true man!! Now I do date Black men not as a true prefrence but simply because they have an intrest in me and I have been blessing with wonderful men that have remained my friends and always respected me as a mother and were kind to my children!

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  2.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody We will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and off she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shall we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just to abandon them but to do a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  3.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody We will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and of she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shal we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just abandon them but a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  4.   pdask says:
    Posted: 17 Mar 08

    Hi everybody W e will never know why people do what they do,i have a workmate who had a girl who left her children with him and of she went,i don't think anyone will get a reasonable answer if you asked her ,i'm living alone i know my kids are safe with their mother but i could never abandon them. But if you search for peoples motives ,where shal we begin,how can people be so cruel to their children,not just abandon them but a lot of other evil stuff we all read the papers,this is going nowhere,just to participate,and show that i feel as you pdask

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  5.   Mantronix says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    Some very confused people out there, not a good sign for a black person. To run to a white partner knowing she has black children, very sad not the first time this has happened. There has to be a reason other than selfishness, and complete un-wllingness to solve the relationship. Seen to many mixed relationship break up the children suffer, more than most people rearlise there must be a good reason for this?

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  6.   Rob1962 says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    The fact that the original peron that posted this put black into this equation makes this topic suspect. The idea of a woman leaving her husband for another man regardless of color is sad to say the least. However, there must be more to the story. They probably had troubles within the marriage before she entered into the new relationship. Loving mothers do not just leave there children behind!

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  7.   outpass35 says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    You know what tigerlilies it is not a care it the world to what is printed these days people print things without a care in the world to what arguement it cause or the conflict it stir up. And that is so wrong.

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  8.   tigerlilies says:
    Posted: 16 Mar 08

    Emmce, Brazilian2, 1Apollo1, the1tobe, rissa62 all thought the same thing I did... how odd. This article just really seems made up or in the least, full of holes. If you were telling the whole story, it might be more believable. I think it's messed up to a certain degree to allow someone who's a blogger, but acting in the capacity as a 'journalist', to 'report' half-truths and lies. Shouldn't bloggers be held to the same standards as any other reporter? What happened to the days of when there was integrity and truth in journalism??

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  9.   jade74 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Very good point you made The1tobe..there is more to it sometimes when mothers leave the husband and children.Some just leave,are threaten not to take the children.There's more to it when a mother walks out on the children.Race have nothing to do with it.

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  10.   Cloe27 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Frankly, the race of the man she left her family for isn't relevant. If the guy were purple the fact that remains is that she decided that she no longer wanted to be married. Hopefully, you're mistaken and she didn't leave her children behind. Perhaps its for the best that they stay with their father right now.

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  11.   Brazilian2 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    I am not trying to be rude or trying to offend anyone here when I say this . . . . But something doesn't sound so clear in this story . . as a friend your telling yout outside view of the story and its sounds half ass no offense . There could have been more than one reason why a person . . .male or female . . leaves a family behind . you don't know if her husband is keeping them from her or not . or if there was a situation that happened that was unstable at that time . There could be many cases I am just naming a few . Its sad to think that as her friend you are so busy judging her instead of helping her . Your anger can be put to the side . A friend would help her see where a mistake was made . especially with her children and you would find a way to comfort and help her children . I do go by the old saying . you have to want to help yourself in order for someone to help you . . . but sometimes people have been crying for help and attention and it has been ignored and when a big bang happens your shocked and upset by the actions that were taken . . . It might have been a long stretch of hardship . I would rather hear the whole story then what your short version of non truth is . NO offense .

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  12. Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Now in the Animal kingdom, this would not be an issue. As Human Beings we want to hold ourselves to a higher and clearer standard of living. In this great big world interracial relationships are fast becoming the normal and accepted part of culture. But leaving your husband (or wife) for another partner in this fashion; has to put a damper on faith. Sometimes the only thing you need to do is think - if that was me doing it or on the other end of it. We all have choices; the children did not ask to be here, so if you had them deal with it!!! Unless your are getting abused. But if she left her husband for another man - then 5 years later she would likely cheat again. Trust is not about only into sight, but for 24 hours a day wherever you are...

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  13.   Emmce says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Hackshaw...I guess it is fair to say based upon your observation of the situation that men who leave their children are repulsive then! As a woman and mother, and having known other women and mothers, I have come to the conclusion that it is not easy for a woman to leave her children, we were created as nurturers, and also having known someone who also left her kids with their dad..(she came back) I can say, THEIR IS MORE TO WHAT IS BEING SAID...we don't know what is going on behind closed doors, we don't know how her husband is treating her, maybe she is depressed, however, WHATEVER it is, it is allot for her to handle and that is probably WHY she left. We still don't know her side of the story, so bloggers...DON"T JUDGE HER UNLESS YOU HAVE WALKED IN HER SHOES; and best-friend GIVE US THE FULL STORY!!!

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  14. Posted: 15 Mar 08

    A woman should never choose anyone over her children,i don't care what color the man/person is...all i know once i read the story it sadden me..deep down .Them poor children will now wonder where she is,and ask themselves why she left.She has alot to deal with ....

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  15.   BCM062 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    I have been doing work as a paralegal for the past 16 years dealing in family law. I've found that there are a lots of reason a woman leave her chid or children behind. Sometimes the relationship (marriage or dating) is in peril for the mother and the best recourse is to leave the children until you are safe or, financialy able to provide for them.

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  16.   hackshaw says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Forget about the person's color-any woman especially that leaves a kid behind is truly repulsive...

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  17.   stx2008 says:
    Posted: 15 Mar 08

    Now c'mon - all she was doing was following her heart. Her kids will be fine - kids are very resilient and bounce back remarkably well - similar to Charmin tissue paper. I say horray for her!

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  18.   fala says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    I think there was more going on with this woman. She wasn't happy with her family and she used black men as an excuse to get out of it.

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  19.   lovey says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    Oh, and another thing, why is it always a Black male who is depicted in some negativity? White men can do/be a part of some disgusting situations, they leave their children, they do not pay child support. No one has a monopoly on being a jerk! There is room for everyone. Why do white men feel so threatened/inferior, or in some cases superior to Black men? I would really like to know? Why is there always some unspoken tension between white women and black woman? Why can't we all just get along and be sincere? Lovey

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  20.   lovey says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    Well it's said, "Once you go Black..." However in this case it seems the friend is not really a friend. To be putting her friends problems out in an open forum for discussion and ridicule is just not right. None of us know the true situation. I just hope that at some point the woman starts to realize how important it is to rear her OWN children. Many of todays youths are damaged simply because their parents either neglected them or discarded them. I am sure at some point this woman will mend her relationship with her children. I pray for the children. We ALL need to stop being so judgemental and hope for the best. Lovey

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  21. Posted: 14 Mar 08

    First of all it's not the man's fault that she left her children, it's a decision she made. It doesn't matter what color the man is, a mother is either a good mother or a bad mother, she wants to be a mother or she doesn't want to be one. This woman made this choice and she's not the only woman that has done this black or white. I noticed that a lot of women don't take motherhood as serious as they should and they put their children last. I am 52 years old and my mother had 6 children and she did the same thing except there was no husband just my grandmother and me. My mother has never been a real mother to any of her children, in fact every other child she gave up or tried to give away. Me being the oldest I was left to take care of her children when she left home believe me everytime she came back she had a baby and then she dumped that one on me to care for. I don't know the whole story but I can say from my life that the children are blessed that they have a father to care for them and to hell with her. One day she will be just like my mother, a woman that sacrificed her own children for the man she has now who by the way she use to babysit his children. My siblings don't have any kind of relationship with her and are always telling me how she tried them after I got married and left home. I became a good mother to my 3 children because I don't want my children to ever say that I didn't want them or left them for a man. Would you believe she once tried to tell me how to do with my children when she has never raised any of hers. you just pray for your friend and be there for the children and one day they will love you more than their mother and always respect you. she isn't fit to be a mother and neither was mine, they are worser than a dog that has a litter because at least a dog cares for it's pups. They are better off without her and one day she will have to face that she was not there for them and don't look for them to be there for her like they will be for their father. God was with me and my siblings because we were exposed to all kinds of men and could have been raped or even killed. "LEAVE HER ALONE AND SHE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SHE IS LEFT BY HERSELF BECAUSE IT WILL HAPPEN".

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  22.   iyke79 says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    this crazy. more harm will come upon the man that accepts this woman.......cos the woman is already cursed. what is the world turning into.............this is sick

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  23.   Sepla says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    Maybe she felt as most men do when they leave their wives. I've already given my life to this man and these children, now I need to start taking care of myself while being selfish once in my life. If you are a friend of hers, let her know that you disagree with her actions, but don't judge her. She is your friend, not your wife. She didn't betray you. Your job as, HER FRIEND, is to be there for her when she needs you.

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  24.   sweeteyes says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    It is one thing to fall out of love and "try out something new" but another thing to leave your kids behind. Being a mother myself, I cannot understand how you can do that to your children. I personally don't think that she left the kids because of trying out with a black man, there must diferent reasons for that. Having had a difficult childhood myself, I can only pray that she will realize what she's doing and come to her senses before her kids suffer from being rejected their whole life.

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  25.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    What her friend needs to know is what problems this lady's suffering from or was she going thro...thats what true friends do not vilify

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  26.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    It doesn't matter whatever race this lady left her children for if she did do that!What her friend needs to know is what problems was she going thro...thats what true friends do not vilify

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  27.   tigerlilies says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    Anyone who leaves their children for sex is selfish. Kids are forever boy/girl friends come and go.

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  28.   traceeeee says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    who can say what the circumstances were im sure she had her reasons to do such a thing, me myself as well give her the benefit of the doubt and would think her side of the story would be different maybe she depressed and this was her only way out im sure she cant sleep thinking of what she done i dont think it was because of this guy regardless of the race i hope she works things out and gets in contact with her children i wish her all the luck and me to will pray she finds her way in life we all make mistakes and pay the price

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  29.   Earat8d says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    This couple made the wrong decision on so many levels. It doesn't have anything to do with race, gender or a mid-life crisis for that matter. The whole situation could have been handled differently, if indeed things really went down as presented in this article.

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  30.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    It doesn't matter what color men she was dating...but it did matter that she left her children...if it is a true story, we are still only getting part of the story. There are so many reasons why people act the way they do. And what goes on behind closed doors is not what we see. I could never throw the first stone...could you???? Southern sm,iles and world peace, Sharon

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  31.   1apollo1 says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 08

    I don't buy it. It smacks of racism. I think it was posted, just to get comments. Not saying this does not happen, if college kids are slaughtered in a lecture hall, anything is possible. But some of these "articles" sound made up, like old Penthouse Forum letters

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  32.   graduate2be says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    This isn't, or it shouldn't be, about your friend dating a black man. This is about your friend being very selfish and immature. She left her children and walked away from her marriage. I hope that the children don't grow up bitter for their mothers sake. There will be a day when she will need them and I hope that they will be more kind, loving, charitable and giving that she has shown herself to be.

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  33.   nandi says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    EMMCE, Exactly...My now deceased husband and I had one child and raised his son (from a previous marriage) because the mother could not deal...Both my sons are in college now, never had any problems..While the son she had with her new husband ended up in juvenile home and never graduated high school...You cannot tell me that her son raised by my husband and I was not a good ideal... There is alot of women that are just not parent material and best to know ones limitations in life... We just never know what the real reasons and or issues was... I applaud her husband for stepping up and if this was the best decision and more beneficial for the children...I can respect that in her.

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  34.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    What a sad tale! Its very unfortunate, but I am sure she is not the first to want something new. Whether its an interracial relationship or perhaps to experiment with lesbianism. Bottom line is I don't think the racial aspect is the focus here.

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  35.   Emmce says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    It should not matter the color of skin. It's unfortunate for the kids, however, men do it all the time and the women have to deal with the struggle that comes along with that.

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  36.   mysticman58 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    It shouldnt matter what color the guy is .What matters is she left her kids , look at the scars they are going to have to bare thinking there mother doesnt love them anymore .What decent guy would want a woman like this ?This lady really needs some help.

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  37.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    What a dumb broad!

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  38.   nandi says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Personally, no one knows whether or not she left her children for this man...I sure her "girlfriend" doesn't knows all the working of this woman's relationship with her spouse...There our a whole of folks that are single parents because of an ineffective one...No one knows why, not even the friend that posted this blog.. I give this woman the benefit of the doubt, since we haven't heard her side of the story....I wish we had more people who knew their limitations as a parent and atleast give their children to someone capable of being a parent... That would atleast solve the nation's problem of foster care and abused children.

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  39.   Sxybrwnsuga says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Does it really matter that the man was black? I mean would people respond differently if he was white???????

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  40. Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Give Me Strength.....I agree with alot of the posts before this one....but come on does it matter the this guy is black?.....No.....whats matters is that she has left her flesh & blood for someone who cannot have much respect for himself let alone this women if he has agreed with her to do this...please...feel free to disagree :0)

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  41.   nandi says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    Personally, It shouldn't matter what race the guy was that she left her children behind for....Don't get that part..However, whose to say she was a good mother and perhaps the children are better off with out her? Perhaps she had her reasons? Whose to really say that this "black man" was the deciding factor to leaving her children behind...

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  42.   rissa62 says:
    Posted: 13 Mar 08

    This is a very sad and unfortunate circumstance. However, I, too, agree with "the1tobe". This is an improper forum to discuss your "friend's" situation. Nonetheless, I'm confident there is much more to this story. However, no matter what, the children will remain in my daily prayers as they are the true victims here. And, if you are a true "friend", you would help them through this horrific situation.

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  43.   boerne says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    My Uncle had three children with a white women, who in turn gave them up to one of my Aunts when the relationship ended because she had a new interest a white man. She didn"t want my cousins and neither did that new man. The three children all turned out very well and are professionals. The white man not too much later left their mother with his child. Who can say why people do what they do. We all should keep the children in our prayers.

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  44.   the1tobe says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    I don't know did she leave or did her husband tell her she could not take the kids because she was leaving him for a black man or any man? There is no reason on earth to leave your children, but sometimes if you don't know the whole story it is easy to assume she is selfish and uncaring. I find it hard to believe once hubby knew she was leaving to seek out another relationship--he was going to make it easy for her and unfortunately, sometimes the kids are used as pawns. If you are a true friend you would be discussing this with her and not use the situation as public discussion.

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  45.   outpass35 says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    I could never leave my kids for any reason she was just thinking of herself any man I date I let them know up front I have 3 sons and we are a package deal and so is his kids because if he turn his back on this kids I could not be with him and that wa stupid what she did those kids will be there when her relationship goes south and that what she needs to think about and any man who would let a woman run out on her kids the is not a man at all that is sick.

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  46.   kimelodi says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    What mother would leave her kids for any reason, much less to try something new with dating. I personally think that it's an extremely stupid and selfish act on her part. I pray that the kids are not emotionally damaged as a result of her ignorant and unexcusable actions. I personally think that the excuse of leaving her kids to date black men is a lie and a cover up for her real motive. No decent person would ask you to leave your kids for them, if they did, you need to show them the door and lose their number.

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  47.   lovinlife7 says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    I could not believe what I read. As a woman, there is no man that would cause me to leave my children, if I had any. It is crazy that she would see that dating a man would be a choice between him and her children. The man himself should be ashamed for dating a woman who could do this to her children. If she could leave her own children I don't know what he expects from her. Wow, the poor kids and her husband. I will say a prayer for them. Seems as though they maybe better off without her in their lives.

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  48.   sweetb43 says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    it is very sad when a mother or a dad abandon there kids . some is deeply disturbe about this woman mabey she did not experience true love from her mother or dad . mabey she too have been abandon as a child or cannot deal with life a husband or kids and always run away from life problem finding her next fix in another person . she done her kids great favor because who knows they mabey just raise up as confuse as her which is sad . if were her husband i will go to court to take her parental rights away . people who abandon there kids nothing good come of them. and for the men that will walk in her life they too will have to deal with her nightmares.

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  49.   whitehope23 says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    thats just crazy, it really shows that she is very confused and that she wasnt a very good person or mother. How can somebody turn there back on there kids, the other guy should just remember she did it once she might do it to him being a new experiance she might find a mandigo

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  50.   walligator says:
    Posted: 12 Mar 08

    I am a black man and I think your friends actions were selfish,immature and stupid. Your kids are a part of you. I could not show a woman any respect for leaving her kids.

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