Some marriage rules are meant to be broken
Ever wondered what the person who coined some marriage rules was thinking
or maybe not thinking at the time? "Couples should work out every disagreement calmly; couples should do stuff together" :roll: Say that again?!! If you think about it, some of these rules can literally massacre your marriage.
Psychotherapist and author of Why Did I Marry You Anyway feels that breaking some of these rules may be the best thing you can do for a happier and healthier relationship. Lets see some of these marriage rules that need debunking:
- Where did “Never go to bed angry” come from? Apparently, the Bible. However, trying to work through an issue when both of you are tired, stressed and very angry in actual sense is more damaging than facing opposite sides of the bed and talking about it when both of you are more rested and relaxed.
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- Be 100% honest with your spouse? Do I really need to share the gory details of my past relationship? This rule, even without being told, is dying to be broken. Don’t go yapping all you want just because you don’t want to be dishonest. Think about your partner’s feelings. Those count too you know.
- Fighting is the first class flight to divorce?! I believe holding back to avoid conflict actually is. Best advice is to fight in a healthy manner – avoid name-calling and screaming at each other for instance. All I know is; airing out conflicts respectfully is better than sweeping things under the carpet.
- Then there is “Your children must come first”. Should you put your marriage on hold just for the kids? What happens once they get all grown and leave the house? Every couple should make their relationship their priority because a good marriage is better for the kids too because it makes them feel safer and more secure with parents that have a loving relationship. Make time for each other. The kids will be fine.
- If you don’t maintain the I-have-been-drugged feeling your marriage will be doomed? Is it even possible to always have that spark in a long term relationship? The end of that spark doesn’t mean the end of your relationship as most people think. Long term relationships are based on commitment and trust and these two are the basis for true love to blossom. So don't dump your spouse just for sparks. Thou shall not live on fireworks alone.
- And who came up with “a boring marriage is a bad marriage”? Yes, most people enjoy the thrill of drama-filled relationships. Question is: Are such relationships healthy in the long run? There is nothing wrong with being predictable… predictability = reliability. I think your spouse will be better off when he or she “boringly” knows where you are every night, than being excited by your impromptu escapades and all the worrying that comes along with them. After all you can always inject some excitement into your marriage once in a while.
- You must have sex with your spouse to make him/her happy? How is a new mother expected to achieve this? Sex isn’t a to-do list in marriage. Sex isn’t the key to your spouse’s happiness. Sex IS for BOTH OF YOU!
So what other marriage myths should we debunk? What other marriage rules do you feel need breaking?
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