Starting love again at 50+
For those young couples out there starting life together, do you imagine your relationship will get easier as you age? Well apparently, the reality can be rather different.
Matrimonial relationships which have held together through the strains of raising a family and coping with work commitments may find themselves breaking down when the new stresses of an ‘empty nest’ and adjusting to retirement strikes. Some may also be dealing with the loss of a lifelong companion through illness or accident.
Most of those who decide to look for a new partner can be daunted by the thought of getting “out there᾿ again!
Bob, (who is 75 was married for 40 years before losing his wife to cancer) has had a couple of relationships since and he is very good with meeting people. However, he has one major problem… guilt over the memory of his marriage. “I really believe in intimacy and in the joy of meeting someone you're compatible with. I'm not ready to give up on that just yet.᾿
There is an increasing number of people who are finding themselves single again in later life… and the continuing desire for companionship is echoed. More and more people in the over-50s age group are getting divorced than ever before.
According to a survey for Saga magazine the main reasons the +50 couples split up was the sudden realization that they had spent years focusing on parenting at the expense of being partners hence they end up re-evaluation what they want for the rest of their lives. “Years ago when people got to their fifties they’d start thinking it was pipe and slippers time,᾿ says relationship counselor Paula Hall. “But increasing longevity means people have more time up their sleeves now, and they’re thinking more about what they really want to do with that time.᾿
Many older people are dating, travelling, returning to college or continuing their careers. It's like once you hit 50+ years old it's suddenly the time to enjoy life to the full, meet new people and have new relationships. Its all about having a positive approach to life.
Divorce later in life, however, may lead to increased isolation. Much as the opportunities for fresh starts and adventures seem endless for some, others find their options quite limited. And health is the great determinant between those who cope well and those who end up miserable.
Online dating has been a savior though as it is one avenue older people are exploring to jump-start a later love life. People who are 50 these days are acting like they are 40. However most women often that it gets much harder to find a partner once they have turned 60 and that feeling of rejection is particularly painful, especially after the loss of a lifelong partner or a divorce. A lil’ patience and having realistic expectations is vital. We all knowl love doesn’t come at the snap of fingers even for the younger generation. And having seen it all before (well… almost all), the +50 individuals can be picky too.
According to research, men who are more sexually active actually live longer. “Hormones are released during sex… men who have sex twice a week live longer than those who have sex once a month or less", says Dr Sarah Brewer, author of Intimate Relations: Living and Loving in Later Life. So what about women? “In women, it can fight the effects of menopause and reduce wrinkling.᾿ Well its not just sex that helps… any form of intimacy just about does it.
Do you think dating in your fifties is much harder in comparison to dating earlier? Being wiser, more independant should make it easier don’t you think? So what could be the potential pitfalls? [tags]love after 50[/tags]
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