Stereotypes save time?

Posted by Ria, 05 Mar 10

stereotypes.jpg

Ryan Bingham: [on getting through airport security] … Bingo, Asians. They pack light, travel efficiently, and they have a thing for slip on shoes. Gotta love 'em. Natalie Keener: That's racist. Ryan Bingham: I'm like my mother, I stereotype. It's faster. - Up In The Air movie

Yeah... stereotypes are faster. And much as we love to deny it, we stereotype. In fact, we do it so much such that we don’t even call it stereotyping. And one area driven so much by stereotypes is dating.

‘Why waste time on a ... on an online dating site? They are all scammers, right?’ ‘She is such a wonderful chick. Not good enough for a girlfriend coz she’s white and white chicks are …’ ‘This is the kind of man I could get behind if only he were ...’

Your perfect partner could be online right now...

What are you looking for?

Pretty fast huh! They save us so much time. I mean, why waste your time on a relationship with …! Because of our stereotyping, we weed out potential mates. In the process, we weed out ‘the one’ and spend the rest of our lives searching and searching only to end up settling coz we are running out of time… because once upon a time, you stereotyped about that sweet guy… that chic who finished your sentences…

While stereotyping, you saved time. You saved yourself the trouble of finding out if that relationship would have worked or not.

Question is: Are these stereotypes based on some measure of truth? Are we really saving time or limiting ourselves and squandering opportunities?

15 responses to "Stereotypes save time?"

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  1.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 10

    I think stereotyping wastes more time if you want to get to know the person but keep in mind that many of them have grains of truth but as a whole, I am against them and I think all stereotypes should be included because racial stereotypes are the most false of stereotypes. Each person is different and you never know what culture they have been influenced by to help make up their personality. But there are other stereotypes that are out there that are equally bad and false like overweight people are undisciplined and thin people are. But it hard to refute the initial stereotype of someone that dresses slutty and not think that they have a strong interest in sex over other deeper things. You don't have to be mean to them or say anything but you can just steer clear of them and let those who are looking for that kind of person interact with them.

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  2.   Deathbunny says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 10

    So...er...more simply: Stereotypes only work well when everyone agrees with them.

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  3.   Deathbunny says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 10

    The only times stereotypes really work are when the traits you're using to stereotype--age, sex, indicators of culture, etc.--are highly correlated with the behaviors or traits you are expecting. Usually, this requires either a causative relationship--like all pregnant people you will ever see are women--or there's some sort of pressure that causes both the trait you're picking up on AND the trait/behavior you are stereotyping. Sort of like "standardization". Most soldiers you meet will have short hair. The reason isn't because short hair causes soldiers or soldiers "cause" short hair. It's because soldiers are subject to military discipline and one of the requirements is to maintain short hair. Religions can do something similar. Being in the same social clique can cause the same thing. What often causes the differences between what you expect with a stereotype and what you actually observe is often the difference in the person's personality and the person's willingness to go against social pressure... ...which--from a dating perspective--is mostly personality and one of the things you can't tell just by looking. *grin*

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  4.   Jabali says:
    Posted: 29 May 10

    I stopped stereotyping when I realized how incredibly inaccurate they are!

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  5.   fatpenis6 says:
    Posted: 14 May 10

    i love interacial relations

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  6. Posted: 01 Apr 10

    lajbaga61, you are on point! I can't stand self-righteous liars and PC people!

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  7.   ryndie says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 10

    When you see a woman and you assume she's poor with tons of children and on welfare, don't be surprised if she gets offended. If I were to assume all people that looked like lagbaja61 were exactly alike I would be doing a disservice to every person of his identified ethnicity and he would be quick to point out that we're all not alike I'm sure. I'm pointing it out now that we're all not alike. Stereotypes hurt people. It's the reason that I've been pulled over for no reason. It's the reason that people have had the police called because a suspicious black kid was standing somewhere (mainly because he was waiting for his ride to show up). It's the reason that my Asian friend was told that she wasn't really smart and her parents beat her academic achievement out of her. It's the reason that she also gets asked where she's from as if she's not American. Stereotypes are hurtful and not at all helpful. Just because advertisers use them to appeal to target demographics does not mean that you should.

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  8. Posted: 29 Mar 10

    I've encountered beliefs like those of Mr. lagbaja61 often. Now I understand why I was told to my face and in no uncertain terms that it's ok for others to see me the same as so-called "video vixens" and as sexually available. I guess according to Mr. Lagbaja61 I'm confused in thinking that I'm not sexually promiscuous, I only THINK I'm a conservative dresser. Or I must be one of those incredibly RARE exceptions to the oh-so-reliable "rule". (Stereotypes being quite accurate.) After all if advertisers and market experts say so: it must be true. Too bad for me if I feel it's unfair that I don't get credit for walking around FULLY DRESSED! "SOrry, black lady - the half-dressed, Baby mommas I've heard about, seen on TV or read about are more credible than you!" Unrealistic of me to think I should NOT be spoken to in sexually explicit ways - even when my conversation to strangers is mundane: weather, local events, recent news. (I guess market research must show that my mundane speech is just an act.) Thanks for the education, mr. lajbaga61 and to all those that think like him.

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  9.   lagbaja61 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 10

    Stereotypes don't come from nowhere and are often quite accurate. Just ask anyone who knows about target marketing and market segmentation. It's a fact people with similar characteristics and values are likely to behave in a similar way. There's always exceptions but that's the rule, 'weather' (sic) we choose to accept it or not. :)

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  10.   bigfine1966 says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 10

    I agree everyone has certain thoughts about different people weather it black or white or fat or skinny. People who have lots of hang-ups about other people speaks to there charater. I find myself looking at some profile photo thinking these people look like convicts. But i try to go on and read thier profile and looking at the whole picture before moving on. I hope a lot more people will do the same if not they may miss out of something that was a good thing for them.

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  11.   Kris says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 10

    I meant "further" not "farther." But, you get the picture. ;-)

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  12.   Kris says:
    Posted: 14 Mar 10

    I think stereotypes actually cost more time. Because a person circumvents the truth (that all are alike), they end up going the long way around and missing out on, as someone mentioned, a great person they could have encountered earlier. Maybe that person would have been a mate, a contact for a job for other resources, a source of encouragement, etc. I think we're all meant to learn that we're all connected and, to some extent, the same. Stereotyping just pushes that lesson to learn farther back, with some going to their grave never learning it. One final note, go to YouTube and put in the "danger of a single story." This Nigerian lady speaks volume about seeing one perspective, how it strips people of their dignity.

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  13.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 10 Mar 10

    The word was ; Ordinary , Awkward , Easy or Normal / Nut thin special . Stereotyped online by people who picked in their thoughts to Single out for special attensions . Brings to mind " Lost " a condition brought about by Hesitation . In this Race you must play the game / how you play , the hearts you break in between - determine if you ever will cross the Finishline a Winner I waited / Bless all of you that said No , Our lives are complete now .

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  14.   lovely2see says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 10

    Some stereotypes are based on some truths that fit the norms for certain cultures however, millions are victims of stereotypes because such cultural norms do NOT apply to each and every person, no matter their race, culture,size, religious, social background. It shouldn't even be based upon one's attire but its human nature to do it.

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  15.   Ebenny says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 10

    ...When i was 16, I answered a personal ad for a penpal in the pen-pal section of the local paper. I lived on a tropical island in the Caribbean at the time and she lived on a farm in Ohio. She was white , I was not. We were both the same age and discoved we had a lot in common. We both liked the same music, we both played piano. We like the same movies. Well, I thought we would finally meet when I moved to New York a year later. We never did. I remained in New York for an entire decade. Meanwhile, she travelled to New Jersey and Michigan while school was out, working in those places during the summers and visiting friends. I travelled back and forth all over the US as well. This went on for 16 years, while we wrote to each other and talked on the phone occasionally. I fell in love with her but wasn't sure it was reciprocated. She had admitted to me that her father was racist. She wasn't comfortable being with me in her city. (This was in the '80s) ...eventually, I fell in love with someone else (a black girl) and got married. As far as I know, she never did. I believe we both lossed on a good thing because of racism and stereotyping. I can't help but wonder if it weren't for skin colour, would we both have found happiness together?

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