The Absolute Best Sex Advice by Sexperts
Do sexperts provide game-changing sexual advice and wisdom?
According to Google, the most searched marital problem is sex; the lack of it in marriage. Couples have been known to seek advice from sex experts on how to improve their lives in the boudoir. You may wonder about the kind of talks that go behind these closed doors and if it works.
Glamor compiled a set of of advice from top sexperts. They each revealed one piece of advice they wished intimate couples knew.
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1. Focus on the sex you want to have.
Instead of focusing on the lack of sex or the sex you are not having, Ian Kerner, PhD, and author of 'She Comes First' feels one should approach this positively - from the angle of the sex you want to have. “Turn your complaints into a sexy solution and express it in the form of a hot fantasy. Be specific. If you're not getting enough foreplay, then what's your fantasy of the foreplay you'd like to receive? Unlike talking about other issues (money, friends, chores), the language of sex can actually be sexy and arousing,” Kerner advises.
Ditch the complaining as it will make your partner feel less of a lover. Instead, talk about a hot sexual experience the two of you had. He will get turned on that's for sure.
2. Don't restrict foreplay to the bedroom.
“If you're not getting enough foreplay, you're part of the problem. That's right, [your partner] isn’t a mind reader". This is what Emily Morse, host of the 'Sex With Emily' podcast says over and over again. For her, foreplay can happen anytime, anywhere.
A steamy text in the middle of the day is foreplay. Sending your man an email reminding him of that hot sex you had, is foreplay. The aim here is to ensure that sex is always on your minds. And when you meet, you will be ready to rip each others clothes off.
3. Turn the lights on.
Having sex with the lights on says one thing: 'I am confident'. And there is nothing as sexy as self confidence in the bedroom. "Own your body, own your sexuality, and own the situation," is what We-Vibe’s in-house sexpert Tristan Weedmark advises.
Another plus with having sex with the lights on is you get to watch each other getting aroused and pleasured. And this brings more arousal and more pleasure.
4. Talk dirty
Dirty talk changes sex lives. This is according to the co-host of 'The Great Love Debate' podcast, Lauren House. Talk dirty and get him or her to talk dirty too.
The only way to achieve this is to lead by example. Kick things off and make them feel comfortable about following your lead. "The fact is that adding dirty talking into your sexual routine will allow you to orgasm longer, harder, and more! It is so powerful that once your partner really gets the hang of it, they can intensify your orgasm," adds House.
5. Get rid of distractions in your bedroom.
If you feel that the sexual energy has declined, its time to up it by getting rid of distractions in your bedroom. Some things get in the way of having sexy moments. Make the room more sexually appealing. "Place objects in sight from the bed that evoke strong feelings of love and connection [like couple selfies or vacation photos].Put up artwork that makes you feel creative and playful — I recommend colorful and sensual art with texture and depth," advises psychologist and sex therapist Shannon Chavez
6. Do it much sloooower...
“Think about your last sex session. How much better would it have been if you went five times slower?” asks Emily Morse. Apparently, taking things much slower is very sensual and it also heightens the intimate connection. Savor every sensation by taking it slower.
7. Make your partner crave for that orgasm
Make your partner hungry by building up the anticipation and tension (the almost-climax feeling sexperts call ('edging') The more this build up is, the more explosive the orgasm will be. Whether its around the clock teasing, or delaying your partners orgasms a little longer when he is at the brink of it, the results will be intense.
“When you or your partner are almost to a point of begging to come, your chances of an amazing orgasm will skyrocket,” Gloria Brame, sex therapist and author of 'Sex for Grown-Ups'.
Well, there you have it. Give it all a shot and let's hear what works.
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