The easiest way to kill your marriage

Posted by Ria, 05 Jun 09

When spouses lose focus, a marriage can be as fatal as a distracted driver on the road prone to accidents.

To some extent, we can compare a relationship between spouses to the way drivers conduct themselves on the roads. Some drivers believe in themselves too much to type out text messages while controlling the vehicle simultaneously, forgetting it only takes a split second for something to go wrong that requires sharp reflexes. Isn’t this a lot similar to couples who conduct themselves with such reckless abandon that leaves the relationship death-defying in case of an accident?

When a spouse goes out and sleeps around with no concern for his health or that of his spouse, an encounter with a STD leaves both of them infected. Much as a reckless driver is to blame for an accident, so too is this promiscuous spouse. Unfortunately, the innocent passengers or other motorists, or the other spouse in the case of a relationship also have to bear the consequences.

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My point is, it is important for both spouses to remain focused on their marriage to avoid going off-track. First time you learned how to drive, your eyes were totally glued on the road. Then the over-confidence checked in and you became slack … driving with one hand, watching that lil’ screen on your dashboard focusing less and less on the road.

This is the same with marriage; you were focused on your spouse and his or her needs during the honeymoon phase. But just like the mini TV screens distract you, you allow yourself to be distracted by your work, that sensitive man that listens to you more than your hubby does or that hottie at work … You have already shifted your focus!

How do you expect to have desire for your spouse after a whole day of flirting with his or her competition? How do you expect to pour your heart out on your spouse when you have already emptied it on someone else?

Unfortunately, husbands and wives are recurrently diverting their focus from those they vowed to honor and be faithful to for the rest of their lives. Why is it so hard to devote the time and effort you are expending on someone else to improving your marriage? FOCUS...

11 responses to "The easiest way to kill your marriage"

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  1.   Wonka says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 10

    Pack up and leave town(ASAP),that usually does it!!.

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  2.   oldschool56 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 09

    Well I guess this article would fit most of the men on this site. I tried to find a blog about married men who cheat(from here on are called CHEATERS) on their wives due to the fact that most of the cheaters who have profiles on here are married and asking for discrete relationships with women of color. The scenario: He is married, his wife is white, and she is getting all the benefits, the house, the car, the paycheck. But the woman of color has to held in secret, she isnt good enough to bring into the public. And she has to be satisfied with just the so called good sex he thinks he gives. Which, by the way is never that great. Could be why the wife stop putting out..lol! But obviously this is a fantasy. a perversion, a fetish for the cheater in a relationship. And the blame? Well, he puts it on the wife..his marriage is loveless, she doesnt do what he thinks a woman of color will do. So much effort put into getting someone to help him break his marriage vows, but he is an honest upstanding cheater in the community right?..lol...it does put a thorn in my side to be contacted by a cheater(especially when I put in my profile I dont do married men), who thinks its okay to ask me to meet him for some kind of crappy sexual liasion. I wonder would they think its okay if their wives go out and find a man of color to give her a night or two of wild sex and passion that the husband is lacking? To all you cheaters. If your wife doesnt want to be bothered with you..what makes you think a single woman wants you? But that is just my opinion.......... Remember the song: "WHOSE MAKING LOVE TO YOUR OLD LADY/MAN WHILE YOU ARE OUT MAKING LOVE" its a tacky little song but it rings true.

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 09

    1). Blaming. When things aren't going well in a marriage, it's easy to blame the other person. Blaming allows you to feel righteous - you feel clean for a moment, but you don't get anywhere in the long run. 2). Contempt. Quite often, contempt shows not by what you say, but by the tone in your voice. It can make your spouse feel shame, embarrassment, or bad about themselves. They might get angry and shoot back at you with contempt of their own. Ugly. 3).Pace. In a good relationship, the pace of the conversation starts out slow, then picks up, then it slows down again. If a bad relationship, the pace is moving fast and it stays there. It makes it difficult to communicate, because both partners are trying to talk over the other one.

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  4.   miri2008 says:
    Posted: 14 Jul 09

    Easiest way to kill a marriage (or any relationship for that matter) is by being non-genuine and dishonest. Trust is the basis for all good relationships. If you can't trust a person to be real with you, you never know where you actually stand with them, and that is the beginning of the end. period.

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  5.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 26 Jun 09

    They cut my dead oak down this morning. I put the fence back up / Mowed most of the Lawn / wheel broke on front of lawnmower . HAD SPARE ON OLD MOWER / FIXED IT . Had company / only got about 5 square of lawn tomorrow and will be cut until probably September . Love this St. Augustine grass .

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  6.   surprised says:
    Posted: 12 Jun 09

    agreed!

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  7.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 09 Jun 09

    @ surprised When it come to the "Grass Is Greener" theory, I'll say this, " If your neighbors grass is greener, so is his water bill!" You'll only get out of a relationship what the both of you put into it. Peace

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  8.   surprised says:
    Posted: 07 Jun 09

    The quickest way to kill your marriage is to repeatedly demonstrate contempt for your spouse because he or she is not perfect. Which is very easy to do in todays world of quick fixes and better choices" The grass is greener theory" for those of us who are lucky enough to have found someone to share our life with , we need to remain grateful that someone is willing to put up with us.

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  9.   NOPLAYER says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 09

    Marriage is hard work, point blank! It can be emotionally taxing and trying at times. It's easier to ingore the issues than deal with them, so people start putting in more time at work, hanging out more with friends and or spending more time away from home as if absence will fix the problem,not! There are many reason for the question at hand, a lack of trust, the feeling that your spouse no longer cares and emotional divorce. I used the term emotional divorce because the distance may have grown to the point where two people live under the same roof but they may as well live on different coast or they're married but they've become room mates. I think it boils down to having the "WILL" to deal with the issues that threaten the peace within your marriage because anything else is just a cover up of the real issues at hand.

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  10.   whurr says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 09

    The best ways to kill a marriage: 1) have an affair 2) tell her your gay 3) let her catch you boning 'Mr Bunny' her lifelong cherished stuffed animal If you have any questions, you shouldn't be married.

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  11.   homesteader says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 09

    Life being a time of Trial and Error , With age comes Wisdom . At a young age with a Fast sports car , while seeing how fast it would go , the top down and music Loud from the 8 track . Whiskey dents because the road was never wide enough . Then after aquiring a Commercial Operators Lincence and growing with the Fact that Larger vehicles move slower than small ones and all of a sudden Realizing that the Safety of others is why you were being Paid to sightsee . Being married at a young age , the first few years are spent Enjoying the Happiness of a steady and more frequent Lovelife as you are becoming an Adult . With the added responsibility of caring for your new family / instead of just yourself . The Loving sex has slowed because of the added lack of sleep at night with the baby needing attension very often . While the very pretty young thing at work is Smiling at you and with the style being MiniSkirts , You watch her legs that seem to flow from the floor to Heaven and the roll of her hips as she walks away . Your wife had awoke that morning with a Headache due to a restless night and you had to go without the morning sex that you needless to say have grow used to . Your co-worker who you have admired daily as to her Seductive way of dress . Her car will not start , so being a Gentleman with mechanical abilities . You call home and explain you will be late as you are helping another with an automobile problem . You find that it will require some new parts from the Auto Supply Store across town and it has started to rain . You and your workmate jump into your van and go to get the parts necessary to fix her auto . After getting her car running it still has a skip in the engine , so you offer to follow her home . When you arrive at her house , she to show appreciation offers her restroom to use in order for you to clean-up . Her also being teased daily by your well endowed look , decides that while you have removed some of your clothing inorder to wash properly . To enter her restroom to use the toilet . And the race is on . Temptation has taken it's toll , you arrive home and your wife smells sex on your body . The fight is on , she leaves to go home to mother .Alas you have found another that will satisfy your sexual hunger . Focus ; Never put a T.V. screen in the view of the Driver / and more attension will be paid to the Highway . Life goes on .

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