‘We’ couples are happier couples
When you buy a new apartment, do you refer to it as ‘my crib’ or ‘our crib’? How about that truck you own?
It so happens that couples who use inclusive pronouns are happier than those who say ‘I’; so claims some study. And that the use of pronouns ‘we’, ‘our’, ‘us’ as opposed to ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘you’ shows marital satisfaction in couples.
As reported in the September issue of the journal of Psychology and Aging, in times of conflict, there was evidence of more relaxed heart rates and blood pressure in couples who use inclusive pronouns. At the same time, their conversations were emotionally positive and physiologically calm whereas the ‘I’ couples showed negative facial expressions, tones of voice, body gestures. “We found more 'we' language in older couples and in happier couples," said Rober Levenson, senior researcher of the study at the University of California.
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It is quite hard to switch to the ‘we’ language. Nothing against men but when it comes to ‘their cars’ much as you use them or have equal ownership, they are his. It’s like a guy thing. Plus, for people who have been single for quite a while, it’s not that easy getting over ‘me-ness’.
During the honeymoon phase in relationships, its always ‘we did this’, ‘our plans are…’. Then suddenly you somehow find yourselves sucked into ‘what are your plans for the weekend?’ language. These are some of things you need to pay attention to. And as much as you are not conjoined twins, too much of the you-me stuff isn’t good in the long run. These are the things that make couples – after years of marriage – wake up to ‘we have nothing in common’.
Make a conscious effort to say ‘we’. Make a conscious effort to maintain the ‘we-ness’ in your relationship. It’s just a two lettered word but as per this study, it’s the glue that binds couples in marital bliss.
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