When you earn more than him …
… it’s complicated.
Today, more and more women are taking home the big bucks … much bigger than their spouses. In reality, they are the bread winners. One would think that this would make society jump on high rejoicing but Noooo! Apparently, when she earns more, she has to be extremely humble about it or else… In fact more often that not, if the relationship is to have peace and harmony, then the world isn’t suppose to know about it.
Well, I talked to a few male friends of mine who have been in this tight little corner. Here is a compilation of a few things women - who earn more than the men they are dating or married to -should NEVER do:
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Don’t take a mic and shout from the rooftops: This dude, Eric, thinks a woman who earns more should not make it her business to make sure all her friends and family members know she is the moneyed one in the relationship. Apparently, this will make her pals and relatives not take the dude seriously or even disrespect him openly.
Once while out having drinks with an ex’s family, Eric offered to pay. But her ex’s sister, having had too much to drink dismissed him saying, “I’ll pay. There is no need to dent your pocket any further than it already is.”
Much as no one ever came out to tell him openly that he was living off their daughter/sister/friend, their attitude and what was left unsaid during family gatherings was a good enough blow. Eventually, Eric left and married a simpler woman.
Never buy him gifts he can’t afford: … or worse, thing he cannot afford to match. Most of the people buy gifts in the hopes that the gesture will be returned. Well, buying him an expensive gift he couldn’t afford makes a man feel too pressured into doing the same for you. The advice ladies is not to make the man feel like he is being forced to live in your world which would cost him more than he could ever afford.
Don’t buy his dream car: :lol: Apparently, this is a NO-GO-ZONE! The moment you accept that men, football, beer and cars are inseparable, you will never – even attempt to – buy his dream car … or any other car he wishes for. Ever seen how men envy their male counterparts who drive their dream cars? How much worse can it get when it’s a woman they are dating or married to?
“To say that it’s a major blow for a man to see his woman buy a car she knows he loves and which he cannot afford, is an understatement. Its like trying to show off to him”, says Charles. Apparently it happened to him. “One day, without alerting me, she went ahead and bought my dream car! According to her, she knew I loved that car and decided to buy it for ‘us’!”. Much as the gesture was supposed to make him happy, IT DIDN’T! To Charles, the car is a constant reminder that she is way ahead of him financially.
Don’t criticize: …his clothing or places he likes to hang out. And its worse when you earn more than he does and insist on meeting him at the flashy places you fancy while criticizing the places he likes. Don’t embark on a mission to give him an image that that fits in with your friends’ or family’s expectations. Just accept him as you found him.
Don’t belittle him: According to Gerald, most women who earn more than their men tend to belittle them and no man wants to stay in such a relationship. So no matter how much you earn, remain humble and know that he is still the HEAD. He finishes off saying, “Women must accept that there can never be two centers of power in a relationship.” :roll: - Ok. That was quite chauvinistic I must admit.
So, why should women be punished for being successful? Why should a woman hush about her success when she has earned it? Will most men ever come to terms with a woman who earns more in a relationship?
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