Why Mars and Venus Collide
Yeah, we all know the story – Drama! Drama! More Drama!
Well you gotta admit that when you see this book "Why Mars and Venus Collide", you would have a have a tinge of temptation to buy it. Well, when I was at the book signing last week or so at the Barnes and Noble in Huntington Beach, trust me … the book was calling on to me: “Buy Me!᾿ (What woman wouldn’t want to know why men forget birthdays or refuse to talk things out anyway?)
John Gray the author, was there doing a signing for this book. And before the signing, he was kind enough to at least discuss his chapter on stress and hormones.
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Apparently, when men have a surge in testosterone, their stress level goes down. So wen your man comes home from a hard days work and puts on the TV the TV to watch a basketball game and pays no attention to all your complaints, well Gray says that’s how men roll. It’s just a man replenishing his energies and managing stress best way he can.
Women on the other hand need higher levels of the hormone oxytocin to feel good and less stressed. And the level of oxytocin in a woman is raised by something men have to be manipulated with tears to do - feeling supported, cherished, sharing feelings and being connected with others as per the research Gray investigated.
He also claimed that the man's brain is set up for emergencies … that is what drives a man into action.
So what does this say for our relationships with our spouses?
1) If men are motivated by emergencies, crying is one emergency a man cannot ignore even when watching the game. So wail woman and get those oxytocin levels raised. (ps. Pray to God he don’t get immune to this)
2) If sharing is what calms women, then women need to look for substitutes to provide this. Have as many girlfriends who have your back as possible. Share your feelings and experiences with the girls and have those oxytocin levels sky-rocketing high before you get home and let the man watch telly. But then again, once in a while, men also need to at least try (or pretend then) and offer that emotional and verbal connection.
3) Men also need to practice planning romantic gestures and events because that raises women's oxytocin level. And anyway, I believe if you care about your woman, with this knowledge, you would at least try. We understand this is not as natural for men but trust me, it’s the thought that counts. And you know what, if Gray is right, then a woman with lower oxytocin levels will be a b****y woman. What would you rather have?
Well, one thing I would like to believe is that when a woman’s oxytocin levels are high, I am sure this has an effect on men too. Look at it this way, if she is happy and content, you get to watch your telly in peace, she may probably serve you beer so you don’t miss a moment of the game and she may be for some adult game time later. So it’s therefore best for couples to do the best they can to bring out the best in themselves and their mates.
So what is your opinion on John Gray’s report? Does he make much sense?
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