Women don't enjoy sex and only trade it for relationships?

Posted by Ria, 06 Nov 10

women enjoy sexI know some women use sex to hold on to their men. But does this mean women have sex for this reason only; that women don’t enjoy sex.

In an interview in the November issue of the British magazine Attitude, broadcaster and writer Stephen fry was quoted saying... "I feel sorry for straight men. The only reason women will have sex with them is that sex is the price they are willing to pay for a relationship with a man, which is what they want." He thinks men feel "they disgust women" and "find it difficult to believe that women are as interested in sex as they are".

In his view, the only thing women are interested in is a relationship. And if they did enjoy sex as they claim to, then they would "go around having it the way gay men do". And this is why he feels that way :

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"If women liked sex as much as men, there would be straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. Women would go and hang around in churchyards thinking: 'God, I've got to get my f***ing rocks off', or they'd go to Hampstead Heath and meet strangers to shag behind a bush. It doesn't happen. Why? Because the only women you can have sex with like that wish to be paid for it."

Seriously, how did this man expect to make such remarks and not step on the toes of feminists? As a woman, I think this is all bull. I believe in this age and era, we women have sex because we want to. Its not a price we pay. Which is why today's woman can have a one-night-stand and walk away – not because the man decided not to call her the next day – but because that’s the way she wanted it… she did it for the enjoyment.

I happen to know plenty of women who have done it in the parks with strangers. Plus having sex behind bushes or some unconventional place with strangers doesn't qualify as the measure of sexual enjoyment.

Do you believe gay men enjoy sex more than straight women do? Do you think straight women pay the 'sex price' for relationships?

7 responses to "Women don't enjoy sex and only trade it for relationships?"

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  1.   Bee1 says:
    Posted: 11 Nov 10

    although women have made tons of progress since the feminist movement, we still have a long ways to go. not that it is manditory, every woman can live the way she wants. whether she chooses to play the classic docile, subservient role next to her male partner or the new age dominant, egotistical part. I would say there are still tons of women who lament, obsess, and set themselves up for heartbreak. always bending over backwards for the man. NEEDING a boyfriend to feel whole. That would definately fall under the category of using sex for a relationship. At the same time, I go through stages. one minute i'm like a guy, and just want them for sex. i indulge in my ego fulfilling sexual activities. the next minute i get sick of that and want something with a little more substance. not that I want to get married, mind you, it's just alot more appealing when you are actually into someone. the levels of sexual intimacy go physical, mental, spiritual. Physical gets old. Right now, I want someone that I'm into, HEAD over heart. Mind fucks are the best. So I think this guy was right. Women can take all the fun out of sex with all those leaky emotions. However, I would say that many women are learning to just relax, and let him (or them) enjoy that pootang pie.

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  2.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 10 Nov 10

    What are some of the words men use about women who randomly 'shag' men in the park or under bushes? How are women treated??? Kind of like gay men who to this day still try to hide the fact they are gay???? Men desire relationships just as much as women or they would not marry. They would simply go to prostitutes and enjoy their services. Pay to play then walk away without looking back. What a silly idea that women do not enjoy sex and the fact they do not random screw every man is evidence of that. That we are much more complicated creature then men is still to this day a totally mystery to men. Men are more likely to leave their wives if they are caught cheating compared to women. Girls in school who sleep with many men are not called studs...... we have other names for them. And yes sticks and stones will beak your bones but names will break your spirit. Ask the gay children who commit suicide rather than face the world.

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 10

    The study is reliable depending on the type of sexual interaction you are referring to. Traditional style sexual interaction, it is pretty accurate especially for younger women.

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  4.   sk1963 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 10

    How reliable is that study?

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  5.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 07 Nov 10

    I agree with the article. If sex is done right, women will not only enjoy it, but will enjoy it more than any man will ever. That is just because women are built differently sexually and if a man takes the time to really educate themselves on how to really pleasure a woman without using intercourse, they will quickly find like I have that women want orgasms and enjoy them more than men do and will be dragging men to the bedroom on a daily basis. I have counseled couples like that and experienced it first hand myself. I am actually envious of a woman that finds a man who knows his way around a woman without resorting to intercourse because women enjoy it so much more, it makes men pale in comparison. But most men being selfish lovers and many women not knowing better settle for less and women use it to manipulate men in relationships. But men have no one out there to blame but themselves because the information on how to really pleasure a woman to drive them out of their minds is out there if they have the patience to find it and actually have the discipline to carry it out. Choice is all the couples as usual. I have counseled some women who don't want to enjoy sex more than men because they like the power it gives them in relationships. Their loss but then, they may be smart because it really does seem to consume the relationship and taken center stage once the women realize that their man can do it for them like nobody else can including themselves.;-)

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    • serenity33 says:
      Posted: 07 Nov 10

      Actually, lesbians know about it most of the time so ask a lesbian if you really want to know how to please your woman. Every lesbian I asked said, that was the way they do it which is no wonder why there are so many lesbians!!;-)

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  6.   kissime says:
    Posted: 06 Nov 10

    I've learned to open myself to pleasure and wonder when I was married. I've had sex because of pleasure , curiosity, and to please my man. But sex base on mental stimulation while deeply in love provided me with soaring height of euphoria and made me feel vibrant. I never denied my ex-husband sex / making love when we were married. With age I realize the pleasures of love and sex that comes from waiting. I've learn to be gentle with myself, to be patient. Enjoyment of longer kisses before sex. Spending longer time in foreplay before moving on to intercourse. Though I do enjoy everyday sex with the man I love, I know frequent sex isn't the only way to have sex in order for me to have multiple orgasm. The anticipation builds arousal and makes it all worth the wait. I think some women may not be turned on because the men in their lives may not satisfy them. Stop focusing too much on the genitals. Exploring the body and mind is more pleasurable for me and according to some of my friends. You'd be surprise how just a simple foot massage can arouse the one you love. Flirting and seducing your partner is possible after being in a relationship for years; long-term or marriage. I think sometime people treat love or relationship as drug seeking- when it's not. They seek the high of it - which only means it's lust-- only. If one is in search of true long lasting love you must not give into the quick rush and passion of love and sex. You must allow the magic to unfold. Kissing is delicious. How do you enjoy kissing strangers in bushes? Having sex behind bushes or some unconventional place with strangers is just crazy to me. Do I believe gay men enjoy sex more than straight women do? I'm not a gay man so I don't know the extent of their enjoyment for sex. But according to research, men in general do tend to be much more 'driven' sexually than women are (this applies to gay men as well as to straight guys) In fact-- there are straight cruising areas in the way there are gay cruising areas. And those are for people with sexual addiction. It has nothing to do with healthy sex. It's a condition in which an individual has an inability in managing their sexual behavior, it's sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity;similar to serial killers. An Obsessivecompulsive disorder (OCD) an anxiety disorder. As far as sexual addiction and it's unattractive impulsiveness goes, it reminds me of dogs F*CK1^@- NASTY!!!! but serial killers are the worst--because animals only kill for food to survive not for the thrill of it or lack of control. I too believe in this age and era, we women have sex because we want to. Sex is extremely enjoyable. For centuries men have dominated/ control women to restrict us of sexual desires by even using religion ( which also have been misused to excuse or condone abusive behavior) while men are able to have sex with anything that breathes or dead. I think men and women should have sex as long as it is consensual. Just know sex is sex. It has been practiced from beginning of time. It is needed for natural conception- Human Survival. At time it has nothing to do with love. Don't expect a call after engaging in 1st date sex (and that goes for men & women). Sex is very special, but too many no longer treat it as special. it has been deconsecrated. As opposed to sailing off together forever.

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