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The Busiest Online Dating Cities This Summer... ... according to Match.comthat is. I received a note from their PR folks the other day, showing some stats about which US cities were heating up their system via winks, emails and chats for the past few months. They are: Do you live in one of these cities, and have you noticed more singles online and making contact this summer? Or do you disagree with this list, and feel that other locations were overlooked and deserve closer review? Related: Projected Online Dating Growth to 2012, Top US City for Being Single in 2009. The Busiest Online Dating Cities This Summer...originally appeared on About.com Datingon Sunday, August 29th, 2010 at 19:27:22. Are You in a Healthy Relationship? Some days, I get a kick out of how many dating questionsrevolve around whether or not a relationship is viable, healthy or just plain wrong. Others, like the day when I created the Healthy Relationship Quiz, I wonder how many of us actually know what a healthy relationship is, what it looks like in reality, and how to tell when we're in the thick of it. On paper its easy to tell: healthy means mutual respect, love and caring without abuse, codependencyor drama. But we're all human, and sometimes its a tad difficult to tell the difference between being worked on and red flag territory. So what's your definition of a healthy relationship? What muddies the waters for you, if anything? Are You in a Healthy Relationship?originally appeared on About.com Datingon Wednesday, August 25th, 2010 at 01:21:38. The Disappearing Date We've all had it happen: you go out on a date with someone, things go exceptionally well, and then you never hear from them again. What went wrong? Depending on how you view the world (and the date), it could go a few different ways: Of course, there are other possible variations - as many as there are people. So, you tell me. What's a *good* reason for disappearing after a date? When is it okay? And in turn, when is it not? Has someone ever disappeared after a date with you? What happened, and why do you think it went down that way? Related: Bad Date Stories, Why Are They Online If They Don't Want To Date?, Why Won't He Date Me?, When He Says He Doesn't Want a Relationship, The Disappearing Dateoriginally appeared on About.com Datingon Friday, August 20th, 2010 at 19:01:52. Is Dating an Admitted Alcoholic a Good Idea? Lindsay asks: "I just met this guy who seems perfect on paper. Four dates into what seemed like a fairytale and he told me that he's a recovering alcoholic. He goes to AA meetings every week and says he hasn't had a drop to drink in three years. I don't want to throw something amazing away... he really does seem perfect. But I'm not sure I want to get involved with an alcoholic even if he's admitted it. Help?" In a nutshell: I think it depends on your situation. Notice I say your situation and not the man you're dating. Why? Because the only person you can control or change is you. I don't know your history, nor am I aware if you or another family member has ever struggled with an addiction. But many, many folks who were raised in families where alcohol was a problem find that they are attracted to alcoholics in their romantic relationships. Or, they attract people where alcohol (or drugs, abuse, narcotics) are issues. Now this isn't always the case, and I'm also not saying that any of this is your fault. Its not. But it is something to be think about, be aware of, and act upon if its a theme in your life. Dating someone with any sort of illness isn't easy, but the first step is the same: educate yourself. Learn everything you can, see how your date's alcoholism may affect you, and seek out preemptive support for when it does. Give it a few weeks or even months to make a decision to determine if dating an alcoholic is something you can do, or if its a deal breaker for you. What say you, dear readers? Would you date an alcoholic? Have you? Are you an alcoholic? What factors should Lindsay take into account, and what do you recommend? Related: Why Do I Need Help? He's the Alcoholic!, Al-Anon, Detachment. Is Dating an Admitted Alcoholic a Good Idea?originally appeared on About.com Datingon Saturday, August 14th, 2010 at 01:17:13. Reader Dating Stories - What's New How To Recognize Loveshared by Her wkelly61 (Share Your Love Story) How To Recognize Loveshared by luv4ever (Share Your Love Story) Defining Pansexualityshared by Elymi (Share Your Definition of Pansexuality) Flirty Text Messagesshared by Elymi (Share Your Flirty Text Message Ideas) Conscious Datingshared by Collette Kenney (Share Your Dating Blog) Reader Dating Stories - What's Neworiginally appeared on About.com Datingon Tuesday, August 10th, 2010 at 14:07:24. August is Romance Awareness Month Thanks to a heads up from Pure Romance, I learned that August is Romance Awareness Month. Romance Awareness seemed an interesting way of phrasing things, and without any reference as to who, or why the month-long celebration started (I looked, couldn't find anything), I have to assume that it means August is the month where we should take a step back and try to create more romance in our lives - single, coupled up, or otherwise. So with that in mind, I'll be focusing this month on romantic things to do that aren't the typical sappy-sweet Valentine's Daystuff you've heard of (or done) several times over. Rather, I want to fill this month with romantic things to dothat are simple, fun, and loving - and whether that's loving yourself or someone else, it doesn't matter. So let's start off this month with one of my favorite romantic things to do: the You Light Up My Liferomantic idea. August is Romance Awareness Monthoriginally appeared on About.com Datingon Monday, August 2nd, 2010 at 16:37:42. Why Won't He Date Me - Dating Question Sandboxes asks, "I am 47, "Bob"is 39. We connected using 'Are You Interested' on Facebook and he added me as a friend. Then it turned out we have a mutual friend in his brother-in-law. I told Bob I am attracted to him and would like to meet for a coffee. Bob says he doesn't "see a match". Two weeks ago Bob abruptly announced he just started dating someone and "it's serious". Despite this, Bob told me in the past he's too shy to approach women and he waits for them to ask him out. From what I can see of his profile, Bob is a serial daterand has children from two previous relationships. He just seems to be lost without a woman in his life and he frequently adds new women he meets on "Are You Interested". My question: What is Bob's problem? I've told him I'm interested. He knows what I look like. He knows my background, schooling, etc. His brother-in-law has met me, knows my reputation, and in fact told me that Bob was talking about me at a family get-together recently. But Bob would rather date other women. Are all men this confusing, with mixed messages and rules that only they know?" Sandboxes, I'm going to be blunt: Bob doesn't have a problem. You do. Why are you investing so much time and energy into a man who, by your own admission, isn't dateable nor interested? He made it clear from the start when you asked him out that he didn't see a match. How is that playing by dating rulesonly he knows? Sure, the rejection hurts. Yet he was honest, and I've lost count of the women who have told me throughout the years, "Why couldn't he just tellme he wasn't interested?" Well, Bob did, but you didn't want to hear it. So what's a guy supposed to do? He's in a serious relationship now. Leave him alone, stop using Facebook to check his status, and stop analyzing why he's doing whatever he's doing. In Getting Past Your Breakup, Susan J. Elliot wisely suggests that each time you think of an ex (in this case, a man you're attached to that hasn't reciprocated) you say to yourself, "It doesn't matter, it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter."Because really, he doesn't matter. You do. Its time to start prioritizing your needs, not some man's that you barely know. Break your bad love habits, and find some new ways to feel good. After a few weeks, you'll forget completely about Bob and will have a better relationship with yourself to offer someone new. Related: Relationship Expectations, Am I Ready To Date Again?, Dealing with Unfinished Business, When Not To Date. Why Won't He Date Me - Dating Questionoriginally appeared on About.com Datingon Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 at 14:22:02. What Does 'Taking a Break' Mean? The Meetcha Live blog talked about divorce being catchy earlier in the month (see: Have you caught the divorce bug?) but I hear more about 'taking a break' than anything else these days. The problem is, most folks don't really know what taking a break really means, which leads to more heartache than I have time to counsel. One reader summed it up for me nicely the other day: "Taking a break means not cutting ties to each other, but postponing the relationship temporarily to see where things are at."I like the definition, other than the 'see where things are at' part, because its vague and doesn't list specifics. To me, taking a break means taking a step back from a relationship that isn't meeting one or both partner's needs, and reviewing how the relationship fits into their life picture over the long term. Its about re-evaluating or redefining the relationshipwithout the stress of the relationship itself. The problem with 'taking a break' is that few people actually define what it means for their relationship. Does it mean one or both of you can see other people, or do you not want to muddy the waters with more? Can you contact each other (like texting), or do you really take a break from interacting on all levels? When does the break end, and how will either of you know it? What outcome(s) are one or both of you hoping for from taking a break, and do both parties know it? The only book I've read that tackles this touchy subject is one I've talked about briefly earlier this month: Don't Break Up, Make Up by Dr. Bonnie Weil (Buy Direct). In it, Weil suggests that couples she counsels take a break to save their relationship, and outlines specific requirements to ensure everyone's needs are met. For those of you currently taking a break, I highly recommend it. But what about you? Have you ever taken a break? Why? What happened? Was the outcome positive, or worth it to you? Why or why not? Related: Take a Dating Break, What Not To Do After a Breakup, Can You Break Up to Make Up? What Does 'Taking a Break' Mean?originally appeared on About.com Datingon Sunday, July 25th, 2010 at 23:04:31. Reader Dating Stories - What's New How To Recognize Loveshared by Her Babycakes (Share Your Love Story) Does Speed Dating Workshared by datingjoe (Share Your Thoughts About Speed Dating) How To Recognize Loveshared by Kristen (Share Your Love Story) How I Knew He Was Cheatingshared by Tara (Share How You Knew Your Partner Was Cheating) How To Recognize Loveshared by crazy for you (Share Your Love Story) Free Dating Ideasshared by Loretta Belle (Share Your Favorite Free Date Idea) Free Dating Ideasshared by SuzyScorp (Share Your Favorite Free Date Idea) Who Pays For a Dateshared by Midea (Share Your Thoughts) Breakup Songsshared by joemauer13 (Share the Breakup Songs That Got You Through It) Reader Dating Stories - What's Neworiginally appeared on About.com Datingon Thursday, July 22nd, 2010 at 01:25:59. My 'Perfect Guy' Wants Someone Else Dating Question Kristen asks: "For the past month I've been dating the perfect guy for me (who also happens to be my ex boyfriends friend...). Well he just told me he can't see me anymore because within the past week he has started talking to his ex fiance again! They've been broken up for 3 years and during that time she has been nothing but malicious towards him and done whatever she could to spite him! I don't understand why this is happening now?! He tells me how much he likes me, but that he's already been through everything with her! I want to know from your past experience, does getting back together with an exwork? Do I still have a chance with this guy?" I've answered Kristen's question (see: My Perfect Guy Wants Someone Else), but I'm curious as to what you all think. Is there a chance of Kristen and her boyfriend getting back together, or is she better off on her own? Related: Why Won't He Be My Boyfriend?, Is He Afraid of Commitment?, Getting Back Together With an Ex. My 'Perfect Guy' Wants Someone Else Dating Questionoriginally appeared on About.com Datingon Thursday, July 15th, 2010 at 20:15:19. |



