Are some black women more compatible with white men?

Posted by Ria, 25 Jan

Warning: The question below may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The question is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out why people make the choices they make when it comes to interracial dating.

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Is it possible that some black women share certain qualities and interests with white men that black men simply lack?

Responses to "Are some black women more compatible with white men?"

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  1.   Hairybear says:
    Posted: 10 Feb 08

    I just prefer dating Black woman due to he fact that alot of them are not into macho images and money--but --just wanted to be loved and treated with dignity and respect

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  2.   Darkcowgirl says:
    Posted: 09 Feb 08

    I agree I have absolutely no commonalities with black men, so they are usually very mean to me.

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  3.   write66 says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 08

    Finally, some sanity on this blog (but thanks for the comedy too). Deep down, I believe we all (maybe even Mantronix) simply understand that we love who we love. Maybe we can't categorize or dissect the rationale. We can only embrace it and appreciate our special someone when she (for me!) comes along. Blessings all!

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  4.   Eva says:
    Posted: 07 Feb 08

    Absolutely! As a black woman with a corporate job, obtaining a college education, possessing a love of Guns and Roses and Led Zeppelin, and who can't wait for the premiere of "Lipstick Jungle," it's easy to see why I would be more compatible with a preppy white man than a black one.

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  5. Posted: 31 Jan 08

    Love is colorless, it is a great feeling when we find it and live it. I must say the inner beauty of my black woman made my love to her on the greatest gift I have been blessed with.

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  6.   cocokisses says:
    Posted: 31 Jan 08

    I don't even have to comment...most of you have said it all for me :) Thanks!

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  7.   kobjet says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 08

    I fell in love with a black woman years ago and have cherished every moment since to date in and out of my race. It just so happens that I find the attributes of a black woman, including their character and our compatibility, match up well with me. It is a definitive preference, but the truth is I am open to all if the chemistry is right. The statement posed above, however, can be easily misinterpreted. Saying any one race lacks what another does is not only narrow-minded but absolutely wrong. That is a stereotype that should be shot down for its ignorance. Yes, the past shapes us, but there is no quality I possess that isn't shared by another of multiple races. And the same is true across the board.

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  8.   misotall says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 08

    Reading this blog, it's clear that there is a wide range of opinion out there. In my field of healthcare imaging, we have both color palettes and gray scale maps for looking at images. It is obvious that the subtle diferences in gray shades from white to black is a much more sensitive and eye pleasing way to evaluate than simply juxtaposing Red/Yellow/Blue. White, Black and Gray are all one the same scale, just at different intensities. Until we evaluate folks by their intensity rather than color...........

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  9.   IvoryT says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 08

    Black licker rules!!! (just playin') I just can't stop giggling about that one ;) In my humble opinion though, it is about preference! Which develops from experience, which starts in our early development and continues throughout our lives. Who likes to be burned by fire? Why not? Because we learned through experience that it hurts, so we PREFER not to be burned. I dated many white women before I dated a black woman (or any other ethnicity). I was attracted to other ethnicities but not mature enough to handle the ignorant bigotry of my social group. I was being molded by my peers. As I developed and matured and became my own person, other's opinions no longer mattered and I followed my preferences. It is initially a visual attraction that most of us have, followed by a deeper understanding of what is inside the pretty package. My upbringing has influenced me, my adult experiences, and now I have a developed preference for what I as an individual like. The outside appearance catches our interest, then it moves to a different level and what's inside either holds or diminishes that interest. This, I believe, holds true to all things in the physical world...Preference through experience!

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  10.   Seventy says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 08

    Overall, I have been treated far better by whites in my personal and professional life than by blacks. I don't understand the existing competition. I don't plan to coexist in a particular culture environment, it just seems to happen irregardless of me being mixed. For instance, there are continuous open announcements in the job market for anyone who wants to participate in various training assignments, rotations, or in exec education yet I'm always the sole female amongst white men. There were open calls for anyone who wanted to play in sports; however, I probably interacted with one possibly two blacks while I was a member of several athletic teams: swim, hockey, sailing, and skating. And yes, I do like rock music.

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  11.   pinklady47 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    wow its getin a bit heated i have been out with white guys and black guys too but as a white woman i find black men more pleasing to the eye and better company but surely its a persons preferance whatever the race or colour. so if a black woman prefers a white man or vice versa let them be and let them find happines in each other x

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  12.   gillian4u says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Interesting topic. I've dated both Black and White men and can honestly say that I'm definitely more attracted to the latter. I simply find that Caucasian males (and I can only attest to my own past experiences) do treat me with the deepest respect, kindness and care like no other. For me, I don't think it's a physical color preference but rather a cultural thing. I can openly communicate and share ideas, interests, etc. with a White male or engage in intimacy without any concern about any hangups. As mentioned in other posts I've read, I must agree that it's all a personal, individual choice.

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  13.   floridagem says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Ummm... and what would one say if perhaps each individual involved were blind? Would colour matter? I'd think not. It should be that the chemistry, connection or compatibility with another stem from qualities each sees within (that's what lasts in the long haul anyway). How superficial we've become! God made us all different to spice up things simply b/c he likes variety and so should we, if we are truly created in His image. So, let's enjoy the colours and hues, embrace them and love them b/c the choice is ours!

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  14.   briknlace says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    ALL I CAN SAY IS THIS: SKIN COLOUR NEVER MATTERS ITS COMPATIBILITY,LOVE AND ATTRACTION just because you are dating a white man today and you are black woman doesnt mean theres no black man compatible with you.

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  15.   ethereal99 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    This is a loaded question guaranteed to stir up controversy. It's ok though because we are here to discuss, agree or disagree. For starters, what qualities does a white man have that a black man lacks? Well, which black man & white man are we talking about? Traits that I believe every woman looks for: respect, monagamy, culture, financial stability, humor, entertainment, protectiveness etc. can be found in any individual. It's all down to preference. Just like ice cream.

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  16.   cocoadream says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Why all this crap about color in the first place? Getting pretty fed up with all the racist crap on this site. Seems the members here are about as racist as it gets if they are SO caught up in color over other more important things, like what kind of person someone is on the inside. Thanks loads for making me embarrassed to even be ethnic about now.

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  17.   Rae56 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    It is true that I find myself in the position of having more common interest with white men than with black men. This is true both socially and professionally. Being born and raised in an area that is predominately white and white men are more readily available is also a factor.

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  18.   wiggles says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Wow, Alot of people have commented on this extremely volatile issue. I would have to admit that personally, as a white man in love with a beautiful black woman, that I never really stopped to think about what she might see in me as opposed to black men. I live with a black family in the ghetto who have been gracious enough to give me housing while I am in college trying to go for medical school. Living in their world, I have definitely seen alot that I never saw in my own culture, at least not while I was younger. But I personally have never really wondered why my girlfriend chose me over another guy, say a black man. I just have always thought that if it works, it works. Of course, I think all black women are beautiful, and I have personally never dated a white woman, but that has just happened by chance. Like everyone else in this blog has mentioned, could it be just preference? I don't know if it will ever be that simple, especially because society seeks to blur those lines very often and requires an "excuse" shall I say for why someone chooses to date outside of their race. I guess the best way to say it is that you date who you are. If you relate to the black culture of America more than the white culture of America, you will probably end up with a black woman/man. And the opposite is true. My sister personally prefers middle eastern men and has for quite a few years now. For her, it is a culture she has lived around and grown to love, therefore I think the love for those men comes inherently. But I am young, and so many wiser than me have posted before. So probably, just take this as an opinion of one man seeking to live for others :-). P.S. Oh, I forgot to mention that if black women are looking to date me for money, they are gonna be very sad.......I am so poor I make my dog look rich. Guess that's what college does for you, especially when you work your way through it :-).

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  19.   Just_me_69 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    And yes Dimpz... you are sooo right. ther are good and bad guys and girls in all races.

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  20.   hershey1 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Good Evening Everyone, With regards to "Mantronix's" previous comments, his motives are clearly obvious. His statements are probably generated to get the audience heated up enough to respond to him. This venue probably gives him some sort of entertainment. I definitely disagree with his comments, but keep this in mind, the next time you read one of his "thought provoking" comments: The value of the message is directly proportional to the social and intellectual development of its sender. In other words, the next time you read one of his insightful messages, consider it as blog comedy (smile). Peace be with you all and date according to your preferences, not society's. Good luck to you in your search. Sincerely, Hershey1

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  21.   Just_me_69 says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    It dosent mater if you are a white man dating a black woman, a black man dating a white woman, a black woman dating a white man or like me a white woman dating a black man... we al have to lisen to bad remarks from people around us that dosent accept mixed coupels... From people of al colours, white or black, it dosent mater. When I walked with a black man on the street it happend that a black woman come up and spitt in front of me and sad that she was disscusted, that I and al the white hors whit me were fucking her and her sisters husbands to be. And on top of that... than she walked away with her WITE BOYFRIEND... So it was ok for her to date a white guy but not for me to date a black guy... And one white lady on the tram warned me from having kids whit "that" (poninting at my date) cous those kids should not be so nice... and they should have problems in school! We just have to se that this problem is for al mixed coupels, dont mater who is white and who is black. And pleace dont coment on my spellings... I know its not good.

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  22.   Dimpz says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Oooooooooooooooooh please men are men regardless of their race - plenty of decent fine black men, asian men, latino men, and white men - just as on the flip side - plenty of low down dirty dogs in all the races! and genders!!

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  23.   ms.ebonia says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Hello to all. I agree, what it boils down to is preference-it is often common to pick someone of your own race and when they lack too many things that you find in a different race, you will disregard the so called norm of sticking to your own kind and go for who you are most compatible wth...however, it has a lot to do with preference.sometimes you are just more attracted to a diferent race...I know white men are more gentle, romantic, and emotionally fulfilling from what i have experienced. For some reason it seems that by nature, or through genes or something they treat women differently. And of course besides them treating me well, I am very attracted to them, as well as all types of men.

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  24.   Vitamensea says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    I find this to be an interesting statement. I find that "I" (not speaking for all african american women, just myself) am more compatable with white men in some instances. However, I can also connect with many different races and cultures.

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  25.   Glock says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Mantronix, clearly you are on the wrong website.

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  26.   Dimpz says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    I wish Mantronix would own his statement - and not speak for others. Maybe in his experience he only dates white women because it is easier for him. For you to imply that white women are easy is really bad. It is also equally as bad for you to imply that black men only want easy. I find it grossly insulting when he says black women go for white men because they are in it for what they can get. Mantronix - before you make such outlandish statements - present your well researched facts first!!

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  27.   Glock says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Mantronic, let me see if I understand you, white women are easy and black women are gold diggers? Boy did you ever open a can of worms! And since you posted again, could you please explain your post from a couple days ago? I dying to know what the hell you are saying there!

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  28.   Mantronix says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Nefertari your probably one of a kind, who dont judge but we all do judge. To many Blackmen go for white women, because its easier, unfortunately black women gor for whitemen because they are in it for what they can get. Date whom ever you wish to date, but dont look down on your own because you look down on yourself.

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  29.   Nefertari says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Reading over this blog.... well let me stop there to insure I don't judge the guilty. I am sitting here wondering if I am one of a kind... I don't date based on color. I date based on compatibility. I am a professional, well traveled, intelligent, secure within, love myself and others and most of all I am culturally and environmentally aware of my surroundings at all times. With this being said, anyone that sits up and limit themselves to a mate based on "said preference of the color of the person's skin" has some issue from the past or present that they should address. Alot of people don't realize that what they font tell alot about them. How can you truly find Love in a lasting relationship when you are carrying around excess baggage from past relationships? That should be the next topic Ria! p.s. Spellcheck? This a freaking website isn't? Spellcheck is for work, school, oh shall I say the real world... duh I forgot that many get so tied up in the cyber world and make it their life.. forgive my my cyber obtuseness... On the real why can't we all learn to accept others for who they are online and stop attempting to belittle or correct them through font? By the way great topic Ria... Sheesh My saying: Love has No color, it has No boundaries, subjects to No barriers, produces No pain and will last Forever!

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  30.   DOP69 says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    If I may add my little bit please. I have had girlfriends from UK, USA, Jamaica, Germany, Sweden, Norway, France, Australia, Thailand, Gambia, Senegal, Gabon, Cameroon and probably a few places i have forgotten about. I find it a bit depressing that we differentiate people by colour. For example some people refer to Chinese as yellow people. That is so far from the truth as most of them are white. It is basically a lack of understanding and education and acceptance of other people in the world, their race and heritage. I don't think that when I look at a lady i think what colour is she first. I think she is either attractive to my personal tastes or not. Yes I am more attracted to darker skin ladies but that can also be a white lady with a great sun tan so please explain that!!!! A person is a person. You can have the sexiest looking person in the world no matter what colour their skin maybe as underneath that we are the same anyway. If the two of you do not get on and gel together then it seems to be a total waste of time.

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  31.   makenit says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    There have been a lot of pertinent remarks made on this question. The ladies have made some very interesting remarks and the majority of the men's comments reflect how much of an asshole they are...i.e. "black licker". People are people.... and like "Islandlt" said I despise people being put in a box, black, white, Asian, Chinese, African or whatever ethnicity you might be. Either you are attracted to someone or you aren't. Like "polyglot", I don't think that we should have to justify our likes and dislikes to anyone. You are who you are and you like what you like....enough said.

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  32.   Jimmie58 says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    just love the contrast of black on white...i'm and artist and i fine it erotic.....plus black women treat me better...and there just sexier......fine round firm ass....sexy lipps..etc........i even like the hair that isn't as soft as white girls...if its taken care of nicely or cut short its fun to run my hands thru it....and braiding can get some nice looks......the lip and hips just keep my package hard all the time......african american women or lucky...white girls are..injecting the lips and doing there squaits for there gluts....come talk to me ladies......houston texas......s.w.houston...peace

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  33.   fala says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Good point G6!

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  34.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Sure, it's true. But it's not just limited to those two groups of people. Different cultures/ethnicities are often attracted to someone different than their own. Not a big deal.

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  35. Posted: 27 Jan 08

    I don't think it's a matter of 'lack' but of all-around interest. These days (when rap artists are collaborating with country singers), it's not hard to find a black man who likes rock, metal, country, etc.. But that same black man may be making the exact same assumption about black women. Off topic for a second, why do people always list music (especially rock) as a commonality when 'defending' their right to date outside of their race. Music was created for pleasure, not race. Commonalities based on dating someone because like you, he likes rock or Heavy Metal don't seem to hold much weight. Rock and HeavyMetal can be and is enjoyed by many people of different cultural backgrounds. You can find these art-appreciating people in any race, whether or not you've met them, sought them out or befriended them. It should be assumed that they do exist. Please tell me your relationship and the building of it, goes far beyond the discussion of music. As far as not being 'black enough'. Yes, there are alot of brothers who refuse to accept an educated sister for her graceful poise, articulate speech and precise dialect. But it's not to be said that appreciative brothers don't exist. I am a black woman and I am physically attracted to white men. It can seem shallow to some but physical attraction is the initial draw. When those men that return the attraction connect with me, there are fireworks. My dating a white guy is not a statement that I think black men are lacking. That's ludicrous! I would assume it would be just as bad for an interracial dating white woman to say the same about white men. Onto the treatment factor, it is true that some of us sisters have received better treatment from white guys than from black guys but isn't this true in most Interracial relationships, anyhow? When you're a couple against a world of bigots, don't you bond closer? Don't you try harder? Who's to let a bigot tell you how to live and who to like? But really, it's give and take. Maybe you should check, do you react a certain way in situations with black men differently than you do with white men? Does your considerate & forgiving nature come out of hiding when dealing with a man of a different race? As a woman, I know we always tend to say I'll date a man who will treat me right. This is always a good rule to follow. But choosing to date ANY man reflects your self-worth. If you have found that all the brothers you were dating used you, chances are you were dating a certain type of brother and whatever attracted you to those brothers was not a race thing- it was something that subconsciously attracted you. It's sad to admit but yes brothers have definitely worn my patience thin in the past but that's not to say I haven't run across a couple of white guys who didn't do something equally as hurtful. And I'm not going to go swearing off white men for those guys' actions. All in all, yes some women are more compatible with certain types of men. Whether they are BW/WM, WW/BM, AW/WM, etc... some things attract us to certain men more than the other but when it all comes down to it, once you pass the 'attraction' phase and dive into a full on relationship, chances are it has ALOT more to do with the individual compatibility than 'basic' interests. Because the REAL chemistry emerges when it goes from small talk to real talk--for better or for worse. And what black men or any other men 'simply lack' is no longer relevant.

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  36.   polyglot says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    NO, it is not possible that some black women share certain qualities and interests with white men that black men simply lack. I don't like the phrasing of the question because of the way it references black men, and alludes to some quality that white men possess that is absent in black men. This is my second post to this type of blog, and I find the answers continue to be along the same lines. I expected a greater deal of acceptance of different races (including our own whatever it may be) on an interracial dating website. Islandt used the perfect word "separatism." To me, that's what this type of question breeds. I don't think black men are lacking anything for black women. If a black woman wishes to date a white man, then it is because that is her preference. If we have a preference for another race we don't have to apologize for it or explain it. It is what it is, and it's no one's business but yours and the person you are in a relationship with. I think some people feel that they must make some justification for why they have chosen to date someone outside of their race. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS. If you tell someone that you prefer peaches to nectarines, are you then required to divulge your entire dietary history to explain why? I think not. Tell those nosy people who question your choice to mind their own business. Don't think that's nice? Tell them it's Biblical, 1 Thessalonians 4:11a. Tell them nothing at all if you want. Love your choice, and let the Nosy's lump it.

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  37.   islandlt says:
    Posted: 27 Jan 08

    Good topic of discussion and it can spin off into so many other related topics. I am a black woman. #1; I despise being put "in a box" and if I do not speak in the same manner or dialect, eat the same food, like the same music, or men, all of a sudden I'm too different, in bad way. I have dealt with this type of discrimination from my own race practically my entire life. If we do not, as black people, embrace our diversity in color, beliefs, and preferences and consider them attributes, we can reserve ourselves to just fitting a stereotype- and you know it ain't goan be the most positive one. I don't need to stand on a box and say I'm an "educated black woman," or I'm the first "black woman who..." because that, to me, promotes the separatism we've been struggling to destroy for years, and please, someone stop accusing me of trying to "speak proper," which obviously indicates black people do not have the capacity to demonstrate suitable diction. Since when does someone's skin color determine how she should act, and feel, and who she should love? I definitely believe each race must be preserved; I don't want to see us disappear. I will be compatible with someONE, not a general race, who respects me and embraces me. And another thing (yes, I know I should not start a sentence with "and"), I would love to know where and how this standard for "blackness" was created. Thanks; I needed to vent.

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  38.   mossimo says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Isn't it possible to just have an attraction, then reach a level of comfort. As a white man, I cant rule out dating a white female altogether, its just that I have reached the point where I don't feel so much in common with them anymore. Like another poster said, no disrespect to my mother and sisters.

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  39.   Sunslite says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Yall um still stuck on not even being able to FINISH READING the 'mantronix' blog!!! My brain was so stressed trying to get thru it, I couldn't finish..... LOL! I agree with ms_seirah, lola73 and Glock! And spell check is a fabulous feature, yet it can't help you if you really aren't skilled at expression with the pen on paper. Quite early on I remember learning about those things called commas and periods! LOL! And who knows....perhaps there's the English as a second language thing goin on there.......maybe??? One other thing.......the original question WUUUUZ address to/about 'black women'.....in the first of place. Soooo, you men on here with, your (WACK! LOL!) opinions......talk to all us women after YOUUU'VE dated a man......any color man! LOL! It's impossible for yous to really KNOW what WE KNOW. Therefore, how can you speak on it? Cuz we're the ones with the actual surveys and real life experiences.....with MEN!..... (o; Anyways......each to everyone's own. There's really no right or wrong way. Attraction is just like icecream......I don't like/prefer cookie dough.....so why would I eat it? Ya feelin meeee? And that's my say and um stickin to it!

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  40.   Katana5 says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Mungu, what are you talking about?

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  41.   ms_seirah says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    It would be wonderful if we did spell check prior to hitting the "submit" button. Your point may not be understood if you are grammatically incorrect. P.S. I also agree with Dimpz' comment: Dimpz Says: Why didn't the article state that:- Is it possible that some white men share certain qualities and interests with black women that white women simply lack? Hmmmm I wonder????

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  42.   mungu says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Most women prefer white guys because they know that every white guy is rich. So they many oriented!!

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  43.   lola73 says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Glock... I was wondering the same thing... ????? Some people just can get their point across!

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  44.   thunder says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    you know it really dosen't matter you you like being around as long as you're comfortable with them, i can hang around anybody i feel ok with them, exceptance has no boundries and love has none either!!! we need just to except one another for who we are and enjoy being around them!!! we're all GOD'S creation!!!

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  45.   jojolove says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Ive dated black men, when I was approached by a white male for the first time I turned him away at first because I was always told I had to date black guys because I am a black woman. One day he asked me again and I said what the hell Im going to go out with him. I felt very comfortable with him and I was very comfortable because we had alot in common. I continued to date other races but found my comfort zone with white males. Nothing against black men by no means (after all my father was a black man) I just feel comfortable with white guys.

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  46.   HereIamBaby says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Well I am not a black woman, so, I can not give comment on this subject... BUT...there is always a BUT with me...LOL I do feel people have choices and preferences...that is the underlaying factor. Southern smiles and world peace, Sharon

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  47.   Dimpz says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Oh I forgot to mention I agree with tigerslilies comment too!

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  48.   Sxybrwnsuga says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    I agree with fala. We are attracted to who we are attracted to. Why does race have to play a part in everything? You love who you love, color really shouldn't matter. I have a lot of things in common with white men just like I do black men and latino men. I don't think because a guy is white that I have more in common with him. I think it's more or less similar life experiences.

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  49.   Dimpz says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    Why didn't the article state that:- Is it possible that some white men share certain qualities and interests with black women that white women simply lack?

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  50.   fala says:
    Posted: 26 Jan 08

    You're attaracted to what or who you're attracted to - who knows why?

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