Before you ask him to propose...

Posted by Ria, 25 Feb

… THINK!!!

According to relationship expert Chris Hart, there are certain things that single out good marriages from the bad. These are the things every woman who is hopping and waiting eagerly for the question to be popped should think about. In fact, before you even start dropping hints and persuading your boyfriend to put a ring on it, you ought to have thought about these things because most marriages are dead before they even begin.

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Here is what you need to put a lot of thought into:

=> Apparently, in relationships, only about a third of the problems can be fixed so it is very important to evaluate whether you can live with each other’s flaws because most things cant be fixed.

=> Can you say "Yes" a lot? For a marriage to work, the couple needs to be reasonable and understand each others point of view. And sometimes this requires you to say "Yes" even to thinks you don't agree with. Marriage requires selflessness, honesty, faithfulness and willingness to meet the needs of one another.

=> What is important to you in life? Are your views on what matters in life similar? If not, are you okay with the other person’s priorities? Can you respect each other’s opinions?

=> Think hard about the kind of person your boyfriend is. Is he really a good boyfriend? Your boyfriend is a good guy if:

  • He tries to fix a problem in your relationship when you tell him there is one.
  • He treats your family well.
  • He doesn’t mind cooking for you or helping out with house chores.
  • He enjoys being in your company; even more than being with his friends.
  • He loves touching you, even when its not about sex.
  • He makes you happy.
  • He’s ok with doing things with you, not because he necessarily likes them, but because you really enjoy them.
  • He showers you with thoughtful gifts.
  • He’s honest, trustworthy and you can depend on him. He keeps his promises and dates. And in case he doesn’t show up or breaks a promise, he has a good reason. He takes his commitments seriously.
  • He’s fine with talking about things that make him uncomfortable.
  • You can identify with his goals in life.
  • He relates well with the other women in his life – his mother, his sisters, his ex. If he aint comfortable with them, you need to let him go. And if his mothers opinion is more important than yours, leave him. You should be the leading lady in his life.
  • If he has children from previous relationships, he is responsible enough to take care of them and he sees them regularly. Basically, this is a guy who doesn't "hit and run". He
  • He looks up to people with good virtues and values meaning he aspires to be like such people.
  • He appreciates and cherishes your deeper virtues, not just your pretty face and body.
  • He isn’t an idler. He is a hard-worker.
  • He has good friends. A man who has awful friends may eventually end up like them. If he hangs around players, then he probably is one too
  • .

In a nutshell, a happy marriage starts with choosing the right guy. Let’s hope after thinking things through, you have the right guy. Now keep on with your persuasion for that ring. If he is the right guy, it probably won’t take too long. All the best.

2 responses to "Before you ask him to propose..."

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  1.   XnChristine says:
    Posted: 09 Mar 13

    Great article.. A lot of important things to consider. Would you mind making one small change? "He...helps with house chores." That could be taken as it's primarily the woman's job and he "helps." That;s like saying he's "babysitting" when he's watching OUR kids. Sure, there are both traditional and negotiated roles, but could we start out assuming that both parites have equal responsibility for household chores (and child rearing)? Thanks.

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  2.   queensclub says:
    Posted: 03 Mar 13


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